You are creating some of the largest hurdles in your life. Yes, you. The way we talk to ourselves is such an underrated aspect that can lead to success and growth or stagnation and failure. It creates stress and doubt and holds us back. Let's talk about the power of words and the way you speak to yourself. This is one we all need to hear!
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This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
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You are creating some of the largest hurdles in your life. Yes, you. The way we talk to ourselves is such an underrated aspect that can lead to success and growth or stagnation and failure. It creates stress and doubt and holds us back. Let's talk about the power of words and the way you speak to yourself. This is one we all need to hear!
Watch On YouTube
This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
Here's how you can donate:
VENMO
PAYPAL
CASH APP
Need other options? Email me at:
dariusdotch@gmail.com
Listen to Dotch Music!
What's up everybody, and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dutch and I'm an actor, hip hop artist and fitness and life coach. I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can, one, become the best version of yourself mentally and, two, gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel at the end of this episode. If you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who will benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. Alright, and welcome back to another episode.
Speaker 1:So the title of this is exactly what we're going to talk about today how to destroy negative self-talk. Because the thing is so many people want a beautiful life, a great life, and they want to have their dreams come true, to build the business, to make the money, to have the perfect family all the things they desire and deserve but they won't stop talking negative to themselves in their head, and I'm going to tell you this too. We all do it. We all are guilty, maybe some more than others, but we do this. And, like I always say, this is not the kind of podcast where I say listen to me and do what I do if you want to be better. No, I'm figuring this thing out with you. I'm on the same journey with you. But we are negative self-talk, right, we talk negative to ourselves and yet we still think we're going to have this beautiful life, and that just don't make sense. And I've gave this example before, so if you've heard me give it before, bear with me, but it's such a great analogy for this.
Speaker 1:So imagine you plant these strawberry seeds and you water them, you take care of the soil and you make sure they get the right amount of sunlight, and then they start to grow and you see the little red fruit start to show and you keep taking care of it, you keep watering it, you keep making sure the elements are just right not too hot in your house, not too cold and then finally it grows all the way and you pull it out and it's a tomato. You plant the strawberries but got tomatoes. That's impossible, right, it's impossible to plant a strawberry seed and get a tomato right, right and just as impossible to plant negative seeds in your brain and expect that somehow you're going to get a positive life, that somehow you're going to get positivity from it. Same thing what seeds are you planting? Were they tomatoes this whole time? Probably, well, not probably. You were.
Speaker 1:You did plant tomatoes, and the crazy part about this is the negativity that we talk to ourselves. Most of the time it ain't even true and definitely not necessary, and it's something, like I said, I've been working on and I've got a whole lot better at it, but it's still a journey. So the first thing I want you to do is to take a quick mental note, a mental inventory, an inventory of all the negative stuff you say to yourself. And this might be painful and if it is good, because I want you to make this list, be able to make this list and if you wrote it down, look at this list and see how you actually talk to yourself, what goes on in your head, how you treat yourself, so you won't ever come here again. Now, one shift that I've been making lately is with my music and when I record myself at home in my home studio that I got my setup I have. I'm still learning and it's still hard to find the right way to mix and master. It's just hard, and the shift I've been making is I used to mix and then go back and listen and be like, oh, that sound like shh, what the was that? Damn, that's trash. That sound garbage. Nope, that's horrible, right, and you can imagine what that does to you after you say those kind of things to yourself over and over and over again. So again, make that list, that mental inventory or physical list if you need to, and you can pause me if you need to right, go ahead and do it if you need to, and after you finished it.
Speaker 1:Now imagine if somebody told those things to your child, to your niece or your nephew, to some young person in your life that you love, to your spouse, your significant other, your grandmother or grandfather. Would you ever talk to the people you love like that? Would you say those things on that list to them? Would you tell your grandmother that she looks fat in that dress? No, right. So why are you saying this to yourself? Why we're supposed to love ourselves first, right? What good is going to come from that? Nothing? What about this?
Speaker 1:What if your friend went on a date and, let's say, your friend is a woman and she goes on this date and she's telling you how good it went. She say it was going really, really good. The dude, the man, was fine. He was funny. They were having a great time. They had a couple of drinks at one spot, they wanted to keep the date going, went to another place. They both heard about having a good time. Then, all of a sudden, he tells her hey, I've been having a good time, but I honestly don't think this is going to go any further. So I hope you have a great night. I'm going to just go Bye and he leaves and your friend tells you the story. Would you be like? Well, yeah, that makes sense. I mean, you have put on an extra 15 pounds. I saw the picture you put on Instagram. So you're going on a date. I don't know why. You thought that dress was a good idea, and not to mention that you haven't had a haircut in a long time. Your nails need to be done. He probably was out of your league and you just tear her down.
Speaker 1:Would you ever do that to a friend, somebody? You consider that you have love for Somebody that's going through some things? No, hell, no. You wouldn't ever be that way. So why do we do it to ourselves?
Speaker 1:How many times have you been on a date or something has gone wrong in life? You made a mistake, something happens and you just start beating yourself up. Now the things you say to yourself might not be that extremely harsh, but still negative, still going to make it harder for you in life. And we do this and it's not helpful at all and this has to stop. So instead, look at everything you thought of on that list, all those negative thoughts, and think of why it's false, why it's wrong.
Speaker 1:Because the thing is, the majority of the time we say this stuff and it ain't even true. How many times have you called yourself stupid and that literally ain't true. It's literally false. You ever said that you don't deserve something. That literally ain't true. This always happens to you. Literally ain't true. It might feel like it, but think about all the times it didn't happen, way more often than the times it did.
Speaker 1:So what we have to do is we take care of our garden, right, and before we plant the strawberries, we have to first get rid of all the weeds, right? Those negative thoughts. We have to pull all that stuff out of there. Go through all the things you say to yourself and prove to yourself why it ain't true. Every single one of those words, every single one of those weeds, all the things on that list. And do this in real time too, when you say it right. We have to get more conscious of when it happens in the moment, and it only takes a moment to call yourself out on this BS and just say, nope, that ain't true. I'm not an idiot, I just made a mistake. Nope, I'm not a terrible person. I know what happened ain't right, I just made a mistake. Nope, just because I put on some extra weight. That don't mean I can't change that. That don't determine the kind of person I am. Nope, just because I don't sound the way I want to in my mind, it don't mean that I'm not getting better. Don't mean that I can't work on making it better.
Speaker 1:And you work on pulling those weeds and over time, you'll start to see. You start to say things less and less. Now, will it ever go away? No, unfortunately not. It's going to be something that you have to continue to work on, but you'll get to a place where you catch it faster and say a less and not let those things hold you back, not let it affect you, because there is a science behind it. You believe what you tell yourself over and over again, and now that you are getting rid of those weeds, it's time for the seeds Bars. Get rid of the weeds, time for the seeds, anyway.
Speaker 1:And the seeds are the things that you wanna say to yourself, the things that you want out of life that you are gonna get your weight down, that you are beautiful, that you're building a successful business, that you're gonna pass that class, that you're gonna be successful, that you're a great person, that you have a good sense of fashion, that you're a great husband, a great wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, you're a hard worker, you're a great friend, you're smart, you're building the life you want, you're resilient, you're growing. And these are the things you need to say to yourself, and say it often, really every day. You're outgoing, you're sexy, you're confident. Say this to yourself every single day, several times a day. I can't stress to you how much is needed and how much it works Now. Will it grow right away? No, it won't. You don't plant a seed and expect to get fruit the very next day. So at first. There gonna be some weeks, months, before you start to see the benefits.
Speaker 1:Will you mess up and still say some of the same negative stuff? Yep, you sure will. When you pull up the weeds, you never get them all the first time right. Some weeds are just more stubborn than others. Some weeds keep coming back, and what you do when they come back? What do you do when they come back? You pull them up all over again, and now your garden is starting to look better.
Speaker 1:The point is that it's not a quick fix. This work is not gonna happen overnight and it's gonna take consistency and effort. Nothing in life that's worth having is ever easy, and you should want it to be easy. So, hell yeah, you're beautiful, you're smart, you're sexy, you're a hard worker, you're a good friend. Tell yourself these things all the time. And, honestly, which one sounds better?
Speaker 1:All the negative things you say to yourself on the all the time, on the regular basis, or the other way around, what do you think is gonna do to your mindset? Which one do you think is better for your mindset? And trust me when I say that. I know from experience that, yes, it's all easier said than done. But honestly, what do you have to lose by making it a point to talk to yourself positively? Absolutely nothing. So plant those seeds, the right seeds. You can't plant tomatoes and expect to get strawberries. It's literally impossible. You can't talk negative to yourself and expect to get happiness, success, goals, progress. It just don't work like that. It just don't work like that. So, moving forward, change how you talk to yourself as often as you can, every single day, several times a day.
Speaker 1:And again, I'm gonna join with you and I've been doing this and I'm telling you that this really, really works. So that's what I got for you today. Like I always say, please, please, please, share this on your social media. Make sure you tag me in the post. Some out of share to yesterday. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. It's really going to help me grow this podcast and again, I would appreciate it if you would make a donation.
Speaker 1:This is a donation driven podcast. So thank you so much and let's write out yeah, it's raining again. I got it, I Hit right. I got it, I Hit right. Yeah, I Hit right, I hit a rain ball. Rain ball is days like this. I just want to thank God that I ain't y'all, cuz y'all don't know how to deal with no rain ball. With no rain ball, I Some went behind the clouds. It won't shine. I hit a rain on my window pane.
Speaker 1:I feel the same, that she don't feel the same. I want to be like me forever. I don't feel ashamed. I never change. I'll always be me. She's telling me.
Speaker 1:I'm stubborn. I got a big heart, though. I get it from my mother and you will never find another. I'm just confident. Don't call me, concede. Hope this rain cool me down because I get over here. I should just take it easy. Pull one up, cuz I need it, get some wings and go eat it. Put Netflix on the TV. And Colin Kaepernick Just got a brand new deal with Nike. God damn, I just awesome. And if you ever in the jam, you got my number. Nigga call if you need me. And that's the realest shit I ever wrote, because I know these little skies like to get a little cloudy. It rained all day to. You need a little yachting. Bet my neighbors hate the weekend Cuz it's a party next door, me and my Migos bumping Kendrick Lamar. You gotta take a chance. Do that for your future. I'm bout to wake a few up.
Speaker 1:I feel like a rooster, not thinking about karma. I was screaming fuck the world until the world fucked me back. I call that karma sutra, trying to brand myself in. You want to start a rumor? I won't even say your name, bitch. Nothing but a loser. My niggas going beast mode, dope it in the kilo. We some fly Negroes, black superheroes, play some trap music in your seat, my alter ego. I've been getting ratchet ever since I was a new yo. Take 3 be the lingo.
Speaker 1:I don't trust too many people. You never see the real me. That's only if we close. I know you want me to open up and let you in, but I've been looking through this people. Thank God for people.
Speaker 1:It's a rainy day. I'm stacking up like saving for a rainy day. I eat the cake like anime, watch for the fake like anime. I never fabricate nothing. I put my life in the music. So if I pass away, play my album after wake and I knew one day that I have to rain and, with my back against the ropes, I turn in the cash to clay. Don't like what I have to say. You can go masturbate. You better acclimate to rain. I can validate your pain. I Go. I'm in my zone right now. So I met my song right now. Yeah, shaking demons off me Rainbow, it's days like this. I just want to thank God that I ain't y'all, cuz y'all don't know how to deal with no rainbow when the rain ball cuz Rainbow rainbow. It's days like this. I just want to thank God that I ain't y'all, cuz y'all don't know how to deal with no rainbow, with no rainbow cuz you.