When things get tough it can be easy to throw in the towel and give up. Your inner voice will tempt you to quit on your goals. These are the most important moments to show up for yourself. These moments will create more confidence in yourself as well as build momentum for the future. Let's talk about how to keep going when things get hard.
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This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
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When things get tough it can be easy to throw in the towel and give up. Your inner voice will tempt you to quit on your goals. These are the most important moments to show up for yourself. These moments will create more confidence in yourself as well as build momentum for the future. Let's talk about how to keep going when things get hard.
Watch On YouTube!
This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
Here's how you can donate:
VENMO
PAYPAL
CASH APP
Need other options? Email me at:
dariusdotch@gmail.com
Listen to Dotch Music!
What's up everybody and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dutch and I'm an actor, hip hop artist and fitness and life coach. I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can 1. Become the best version of yourself mentally and 2. Gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel at the end of this episode. If you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who will benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. Alright, and welcome back to another episode. I'm so glad y'all are here today. I know I say this all the time, but again, I think this is an important one to hear. I really do, and I feel like there's somebody that needs to hear this exact episode. And first let me thank you for tuning in. Thank you for being here. However, you're listening.
Speaker 1:Mastering the Mindset is on all podcast platforms, including YouTube, so if you want to watch this episode, click the link in the description. Also, while you're here, do me a favor and like and, most importantly, subscribe. Please, please, please, subscribe, and you can go ahead and do that right now. Like, right now, go ahead. It's all nothing but a push of a button, and I've been completely forgetting to ask y'all to subscribe. I'm new to YouTube, so I don't have a lot of views on here and, as of today, I only got two subscribers Two, but hey, gotta start somewhere, right? So thank you to the two that already subscribed. If you haven't, go ahead and do that for your boy, alright. So let's get started.
Speaker 1:So today I want to talk about when the journey, the path you're on, or even just the way you're navigating life right now, when it starts to get a little bumpy, when it starts to get hard, when the curveballs get thrown your way and they can get to a point where you just feel like you just trying to hold on Like man. I know I should be doing this and working on that, but right now, man, I'm just here, I'm hanging on by thread and we all have those seasons, right? So I want to share a few things with you. So, whatever that thing you set out to do, to achieve, to finish, to start, especially if it's something new. We have to expect that there will be setbacks, that there's gonna be that bumpy road that is gonna get hard, that this is part of the pursuit, whatever it is you're chasing again, especially if it's something you've never did before. We can start something and not even currently identify as that thing right, like this podcast, for example.
Speaker 1:I've been doing this podcast for a few years. I have over 200 episodes out and I'm just now referring to myself as a podcast host Now, because I didn't feel like I was a podcast host. I just literally didn't know the title. I never thought about it. I just always said I have a podcast and I set out to make this podcast. When I did, I didn't even start it out as a podcast. It started out as just a daily motivation for my workout clients. Then I decided that, hey, this stuff works, let me try and reach as many people as I possibly can. And since it didn't even start out as a podcast, I didn't think to even call myself a podcast host.
Speaker 1:So you may be doing something new for the first time and it's important to remind yourself that, since this is new, you've never done it before, so of course you're gonna feel lost. Of course you're gonna have moments where you feel like you don't know what to do next. Of course you've never done this before, and maybe this applies to you where you are in general in your world. What if you just decided that the path you're on right now, this path toward wherever you wanna go whether that's for a promotion or a health goal or business goal or career goal, even something like building your network or finding friends in a new city what would it feel like, rather, if you decided that it's supposed to be this way, even if it feels like resistance or you get curve balls or you have setbacks or mistakes you make mistakes when the road gets bumpy what if you just expected that it was supposed to go this way? How can that change the way you feel about it?
Speaker 1:Again, a good example is this podcast and recording myself and putting myself out on YouTube. Now, I know this, don't look how I wanted to look right now. I wish this lighting was better. I'm trying. I wish it didn't take so much time to go from recording to editing to posting. The editing takes the most work, the most time, and if you saw me the very first episode on camera, then you probably can see that I'm getting better already.
Speaker 1:I'm doing different things with camera angles, and that takes time and time to learn and you better believe I have been messing up. You better believe it's hard, I have setbacks, but I'm expecting it right. I could expect it to go smooth. But if I did, what do you think that would happen? What do you think would happen to my mindset if I did that, when I came up to these problems, how would I feel? Are you stepping into something, expecting it to all go smooth? What if we had the mindset that this is supposed to feel like? I don't know if I can do this sometimes what if we had the perspective that it was supposed to go the way it's going right now, even if it doesn't make sense? Well, I can tell you one thing it'll help prevent that doubt from creeping in that I don't know if I can really do this doubt. Be more prepared for it, expect it. Expect it not to be all smooth selling.
Speaker 1:And, of course, social media will make you think the exact opposite, right? People post their highlight reels, their best angles, the perfectly curated content, and it can seem like for some people it's always just perfect, that whatever they have going on is better than yours, that they don't have the same curve balls that you do. Don't be fooled. They have problems too. They experience it too.
Speaker 1:And when it comes to our own path, we're human, we're smart. We all know, we all understand that there's no way the path is gonna be linear. Right, we cognitively understand that. But we still get caught up in our expectations that it's gonna be a constant growth, that we're constantly gonna be killing it, that we're just gonna be doing the damn thing and only getting better and better and better, that progress is gonna be the constant. And what happens? When it goes different than the way we see it in our head? And that progress ain't constant, it can be easier to throw in the towel and we end up feeling like we're not capable. Right? I don't like that story. That story just ain't the truth. There's always gonna be resistance, there's always gonna be curve balls, there's always gonna be challenges, especially if that goal is a big one.
Speaker 1:And I don't want you to think I'm telling you to walk your life and just have this pessimistic attitude, that you should walk around and only look at the bed and only see the glass half empty. No, what I'm saying is that you should expect the resistance and, when you get to it, that you don't allow it to mean that you're not capable, that it can't be done, that you don't tie that resistance to your identity. And that's so important. That's so important you have to make it mean that it's just part of the path, part of the journey that is inevitable, inevitable but not undefeatable. Inevitable but not undefeatable If that's even a word, is that a word? Undefeatable? Anyway, expect it like it's normal, because it really is.
Speaker 1:What would it feel like if you decided that you, if you made a conscious decision, even when you right smack dab in the middle of it, right smack dab in the middle of that bumpy road, right in the middle of the part that feels hard? What if you decided that, yep, this is how it's supposed to be? And I can tell you from this, I can tell you this from first hand, that being able to keep going and telling yourself that it's supposed to be like this over time, that stuff make you so damn mentally strong. I feel like I can do anything. It's probably why I do so damn much, because I feel like nothing can stop me, even when it's hard like today. Man, today was hard, right, I'm working on getting back to doing more than one of these episodes a week and I'm sitting here looking at my numbers and it kinda got to me Well, not kinda, it really got to me because I put in so much work on everything I do, but especially on this podcast, and I look at the amount of views I get, the lack of reach I'm getting, and sometimes it's hard to wanna keep going.
Speaker 1:Now, first let me say that I will not quit. Okay, I promise you that you better believe that. But today I was doing that thing that I be telling y'all not to do getting caught up in not being where you wanna be, wanting to be there faster, not accepting that your path is your path. And that is gonna be hard. And for me, the hard part is figuring out how to get my views and followers up and subscribers and all that. And I was so frustrated today that I damn near was depressed about it. I was down about it. But I had to check myself and remind myself of all the things we talk about on here that, no, I don't have the following yet. But if I keep working at it, if I keep perfecting my craft in the meantime. If I keep pushing and working on myself and keep making this podcast better, when they do come and really show up, I'm gonna be so much better, so far ahead and truly ready for my moment, for that success Like. These are gonna be the moments I reflect on and say, yeah, yeah, that was hard, it wasn't easy, but I did it and I know that's gonna feel so good and I know it's only gonna get better because I'm only getting better.
Speaker 1:So let me give you a few things. So first, there has to be an identity shift. How can you tie your goal or the thing you're going after to your identity? I identify as a podcast host If you're training for a marathon. Identify as a runner If you're working on a business and you only made a few sales. Identify as a business owner. If you don't accept that identity, you can miss out on some important characteristics to develop. Characteristics are the very person who is accomplishing these goals. The characteristics they have are the kind of person who does accomplish those goals. How can you make your goal part of your identity If you're on a weight loss journey, and this is one I was just having a conversation with with one of my friends is that if you're trying to lose weight and you have this weight loss goal, there's a good chance that you're going to be focusing on the end goal and that can be hard to keep going.
Speaker 1:Instead, what you should be doing is focusing on adopting the identity of a person who works out and loses weight. Change your mindset around it and say I have a healthy lifestyle, I work out and I push myself at the gym. I train regularly. Right, think about how that feels. Think about how that person feels and thinks. That person becomes dedicated to that lifestyle, to changing that lifestyle overall. Who starts eating better as a habit, not as a diet? Right, they start working out as part of their life and not part of a number they want to see on the scale. They're driven to be consistent and create a new identity. That's going to be what sustains and keeps them going and nurtures change.
Speaker 1:How can you shift your identity to be tied to your goals? If your entrepreneur identifies that, especially if you're an entrepreneur or on an entrepreneurial journey or you started a business, you know that, building that business on your own, you can have the worst day and the best day in the same hour sometimes, literally. You know that you're going to have to put in a lot of work in the beginning stages and you more than likely won't see a lot of money at first. You know that working for yourself is way more than what it would be if you had a typical nine to five. Part of your identity will have to be that you're the kind of person who figures things out, who works through missteps, because if you have that business you know the road can't get bumpy.
Speaker 1:If you identify as a person who is into fitness, then you know there's going to be a lot of days that you do not feel like working out. You know that you're going to hit a plateau every now and then, that you won't be getting stronger, that you're going to stay at the same strength level for a little bit. So when that season of doubt pops up, you can look at your identity and say well, you know what. I'm somebody that goes to the gym even on days I don't feel like it. You know what. I'm the kind of person that can work through this problem. I'm the kind of person that understands that sometimes is just going to take some more time, more time than it would normally would. I'm the kind of person that's going to get better at this thing, right, your identity is so important when it comes to your goals. I'm the kind of person who identifies as having a beautiful marriage. So when we have seasons where marriage is hard, you will have faith that is going to get figured out, because marriages have ups and downs, right, and I think it's important to really ask yourself how does somebody who identifies how I want to identify, how do they act? What are their habits, what is their perspective, how do they view themselves, how do they talk to themselves, how do they navigate setbacks? What are their routines? That's a really good one Lean into that identity.
Speaker 1:Now, one of the things that I did and it was a small shift I made, but it really, really helped me, even though when I did it, I wasn't fully in the space where I feel like I was ready to identify with it. But the simple shift I made that ended up being a big shift for me in the long run was I changed my email signature and if you're on my email list, then you see it all the time. And if you want to be on my email list, please person in the message me. I send out emails once a week on Mondays with my podcast episodes and encouraging words to start your week off right. So message me and let me know and I'll add you. But yeah, I changed my email signature. So, instead of just saying my name and email and number, now it says Darius, dutch actor, hip hop artist, fitness and life coach, and just that little shift. It did a lot for me. Seeing my title on every email I sent out really made me start to step into how I show up in spaces, how I identify with all those things I have going on. You know now that I'm professionally calling myself these things. It made me really lean into that identity. And now, after this episode, I think I should add podcast host to my signature.
Speaker 1:How can you just fully cannonball that thing and fully dive into your identity? Could that be the change that you need? How can you identify and what you're working on, so that you can realize that some of the bumps along the way are just part of it, that you're meant to learn from those things and also, which is really important, that when you have the obstacles, eventually it will be smooth again, that, as you're fighting what feels like an uphill battle. Eventually you will go downhill again and it'll be so much easier. And again, this podcast is proof. It was uphill battle to get it started, not knowing what the hell I was doing, just taking the action and staying consistent. Then it got easier for me. And what happened? I ended up coasting.
Speaker 1:Like I said, I just started recording myself on camera and before I did, I had done over 200 episodes. Talk about going downhill, right, and here I am again going back up another hill, fighting another uphill battle, as I learned and get better at this part of it and growing it right. Like I always say, I'm on this journey with you. So keep working, keep leaning into that identity, understand that the struggles are part of it, expect them and also expect that sooner or later you'll be going back downhill and you'll be better at whatever that thing is you're working on, whatever that thing is you're doing, and I truly believe that, and I'm giving you proof of that right here, right now. So that's what I got for you today, man.
Speaker 1:Thank you all again for being here. Please, like I always say, share, share, share. Make sure you subscribe, share this episode, tag me in it so I know you shared it. Also, this is a donation driven podcast. I would love it if you can make a donation. I really appreciate that. So, thank you so much and let's ride out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see, people will forgive what you said. People will forgive what you did. People will never forget how you made them feel. Rest in peace, maya Angelou. She always kept her real. See, I wanna make you feel it deep down in your soul, like a home cooked meal.
Speaker 1:I'm talking soul food. I'm talking hot quadr to like whole foods. I'm talking you don't need no mood ring for you to see. I changed my whole mood because I had to. It's some things God, let me go through, because I had to reflect on my life. See, I got this soul food. I wanted fast food. I should have put a seat belt around my arm, as in casuals. The way it drove me nuts Right now it's a feast too afraid of the family, made me eat too much. Hopefully I don't speak too much as our eyes closed and heads bow Supposed to be grace that sound like prayer.
Speaker 1:Damn, I'm stressed out. Please forgive me, but I've been stressed out, lord knows. I've been stressed out, but I keep smiling, poking my chest out, my navigation broken because I can't find the best route. Ain't nothing stopping us. They go on my closet pulling my best out. I'm glad you came. I hope you're hungry. Let me pull your chair out.
Speaker 1:I made some soul food. Yeah, some food without don't be rude, don't throw salt. My name ain't food. Keep an eye on your mouth, I know you see. I got sauce. I'm from the boot. That's hot sauce. I stay true to myself and keep it a hundred. Something they can't be ain't no beef or gravy, don't forget, is take three. I stirred a pot like Jumbalaya and that's worked to my auntie Because I've been feeling hungry. Now I'm feeling hungry. I'm feeling like I'm the tightest. Some of y'all got the items, like you, eating Barbecue chicken, macaroni with a side of baked beans. Yeah, they sleeping on me, chipped on my shoulder, eating good. So I keep it on me.
Speaker 1:I made my own thing, did my own thing by myself and they even lonely, like what up? I had to pull some bread out to buy some greens and fresh out Because I need a blend as long as a dreadlock. I feel like I'm a psychic. I know I'm making your hair now. I know I really need to stay focused. Just let go and let go.
Speaker 1:Christmas came, I pull out the bourbon. This ain't for no eggnog and it for no soul food. Yeah, and I hate being broke with a passion had to hustle. I made it happen. Every time I start making cabbage, I'll call it greens or mustard greens. I turn up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I used to trust everybody. Had to break the habit. Nowadays, if I don't know you, I don't trust you. Like potato salad, nowadays it don't take much. It be small things that make me happy. I just want some fried chicken wings and red beans made by my granny. Rest in peace to my granny. Rest in peace to everybody I ever lost in my family. Rest in peace to my mom. Some things in life just got to happen. I probably need therapy. At least I'm aware of it. That's why I sound like a bit when I'm rapping no-transcript, when the habit, for whatever reason, that don't feel manly.
Speaker 1:I need some soul food. I'm in the kitchen. I want to cook for you. I'll even do the dishes. So take a seat, stay a while. You see me with a smile. Don't mean I'm weak, so don't try. Ain't nothing sweet? My potato pie.
Speaker 1:Speaking of pie, I need me a slice. I'm talking financial stability. I'm done with humble pie. I'm just a humble guy. I gotta switch up my energy. I gotta get my head together cuz I don't know what they got into me. I can't let quarantine get to me. Starting to get to me mentally, it go to my head. Somebody make me a plate. I'm going to bed but I'm still thankful. You better thank the Lord for your daily bread, cuz you got a soul. You got a feed the soul and gotta stay fed and watch it down with some Kool-Aid. Guess what flavor? You know it's red. We got the dominoes, we got the spades. You know. You know I play. You don't know how you bet. Now sit down, I brush your head, I keep it real and I say how I feel. I don't read nigg. I want to go back to being the kid with a big head at the table. He believed in soul food.