Do you feel like you're constantly chasing happiness, only to find it elusive and fleeting? Have you found yourself thinking, if only I had more money, more approval, more pleasure, then I'd be truly happy? I'm here to tell you that's not the case. Let's take deep exploration into the true meaning of happiness - and it's not tied to material things.
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Do you feel like you're constantly chasing happiness, only to find it elusive and fleeting? Have you found yourself thinking, if only I had more money, more approval, more pleasure, then I'd be truly happy? I'm here to tell you that's not the case. Let's take deep exploration into the true meaning of happiness - and it's not tied to material things.
This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
Watch On Youtube!
Here's how you can donate:
VENMO
PAYPAL
CASH APP
Need other options? Email me at:
dariusdotch@gmail.com
What's up everybody, and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dutch and I'm an actor, hip hop artist and fitness and life coach. I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can, one, become the best version of yourself mentally and, two, gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel at the end of this episode. If you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who would benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. Alright, and thank you so much for being here. We got another good one today.
Speaker 1:This topic has been on my mind lately, especially now that the holidays are here and a lot of folks are looking forward or don't have it or want to figure out how to get more of it. Maybe you already have it and you want to keep it. Let's talk about it. Today. We're going to talk about the truth behind happiness and, before we jump in, thank you for being here, whether you're listening in via podcast or watching on YouTube. Thank you, if you want to watch on YouTube, I left the link in the description for you to click on, and if you are watching on YouTube right now and you will be able to listen on the podcast. I am on all podcast platforms. I left the link in the YouTube description. Just click on it. It'll bring you to my podcast landing page and you can either listen in right there on that website that's already loaded up for you, or you can choose which platform you want to listen in on. And also, please like and subscribe. Go ahead and just hit that like button, push that subscribe button right now. Go ahead. I'm going to give you five seconds to do it. Just go ahead and push that button. Alright, let's dive in. So happiness.
Speaker 1:So, if you noticed, I didn't upload a new episode last week. I actually had COVID, and I'm fine now, obviously, and it really wasn't that bad, but I was sick and I was tired and I was like you know what. This is a good enough reason to just rest. So sit down, dutch, and that's what I did. So here I am and I'm back, so let's go.
Speaker 1:So how nice would it be to just wake up happy to have freedom from other folks around you, from negative voices in your head, freedom from all your problems, and you just wake up and just feel happy every day until you die, day after day. Wouldn't that be nice. What kind of life would that be? Right Now, I'm not about to tell you no magic or sell you some pill that's going to make that up actual possibility. We all know you can't be happy all the time.
Speaker 1:But I want to talk about what makes us happy and talk about how we can go after it. So what makes us happy? Well, don't it always seem like we're constantly searching for something to make us happy, something outside of ourselves? And we go looking forward and we say you know what, you know what will make me happier If I had more money? We all can say that. Right, we say if I had more money I could buy things, I could travel the world, I can get that nice car, the nice house, that will make me happy. Or if we can get approval or admiration from people around us, that approval and the admiration will make us happy. My career falls in line with that right.
Speaker 1:As an actor, I need people's admiration of my work. I need them to like me to think I'm talented. And we do this in life too. We want to be the person people like or are fond of or look up to. These things make us happy. We get the nice car. People see the nice car, they like it, the nice clothes, and we go after that. Right, those cars and clothes and whatever it is that makes us happy, and after a while, those cars and those clothes, they lose that luster.
Speaker 1:People can find happiness in having fun and partying and drinking and going to the club, sex, drugs, and people are just searching and searching and searching for happiness. And the reality of it is we're not actually searching for happiness in these instances. What we're really searching for is pleasure. If you look for happiness in the things money can buy you the nice car, the partying, drinking, drugs and sex Actually that's different from happiness. That's pleasure. Pleasure is not happiness. Happiness is not pleasure. Now, what happens truly is is peace. Now, can pleasure make you happy? Of course, all those things, all those things I listed, will make you happy, but it's not true happiness. Happiness is peace If you just wake up and you're happy, you just open your eyes and you have this happiness. It's usually because you wake up at peace, you're in a sense of calmness and peace and you feel good.
Speaker 1:Now I'll be the first person to tell you that if I had more money, you better believe I will be happy. Right, we all would. But that don't mean that money is happiness and that don't mean that money can buy happiness. Money can buy pleasure. The trips, the clothes, the house, the jewelry right, that's the pleasure, and the pleasure absolutely can make you happy. But there always will be a time. There always will come a time when that pleasure wears off, just like with any drug or any alcohol or any sexual experience, any trip or vacation At some point. Just that alone isn't the happiness, because you can be on vacation and still be pissed off. How many times we all done been there, done that right, I know I have. How many times have you heard about these millionaires being miserable, being lonely, committing suicide, not being happy? They have all the things in the world money can buy, right, and underneath it all, you're still going to feel like that person who you truly are, like they always say money don't change you, it makes you more, for you truly are.
Speaker 1:Jerks with money become even bigger jerks. Good folks with money do good things with their money. Extend your folks with money. You think they're going all of a sudden start giving money away. No, they get stungier, right, and this is why so many people worked up, but off, year after year, to climb up that ladder and get to be extremely successful. And they get there and they end up committing suicide Because they thought money would make them happy.
Speaker 1:And again, I'm not talking about the kind of money that I know you and me want right now. Right, we worried about bill money, car insurance money, student loan payment money. Right, we not even on that level yet. Or maybe you are right, and if you are one, don't try and find happiness in your money, and maybe you already realized that. And two, please make a donation. There is no amount of money that you can donate that is too large. I promise you that. Anyway, money, drugs, sex, alcohol, cars, trips, the big house none of that truly brings you happiness, because happiness is not pleasure. Happiness is not pleasure. Happiness is peace. Happiness is a byproduct of peace. Money cannot buy you peace, and the damn show came by you peace of mind.
Speaker 1:Now, I've had contracts in theater where I was making some of the best money I ever made and I was miserable. I don't have roles in plays. That was really some of the best work I've ever done as a professional actor, but it was one of my worst experiences as a professional actor. I didn't have peace of mind. I wasn't happy. A lot of folks told me that that was my best work that they've ever seen me do. The role was amazing, told me I'm an amazing actor, even told me I inspired them, but I wasn't happy. I complained every day. Not even a great role brought me happiness because I didn't have peace.
Speaker 1:And that's truly where happiness comes from peace, and it may sound cliche, and I'm sure you know where I'm going with this, but happiness comes from within. And you may think that sounds cliche, or maybe you truly understand that, or maybe you think kinda, maybe might be true, which we'll get to in a little bit, but let's keep moving but it comes from within. The only thing that can truly make you happy is you. Peace comes from you and it's so important to realize what are the things around us that are disturbing our peace, that are getting in the way of our happiness. That's in the way of our peace. So ask yourself what is it in the way, what is in the way of your peace externally and internally, on the outside as well as the inside of you? And I want you to really ask yourself this what are those things that are stealing your peace? And I really want you to leave this episode with that on the inside of your mind. What's stealing your peace? And when you think of these things, what I want you to do is get laser focused on removing them from your life, and one of those things could be people.
Speaker 1:Do you have people in your life that get in the way of your happiness? Maybe that person is toxic, maybe that person is always negative and that drains you. Maybe they make everything about them and that's draining. And a lot of times, because that person has been in our lives for a long time, we feel like they have to be in our lives because y'all have this history and because you have the history, you feel like they have to be a part of your future. Well, that's not necessarily true that history and past can end right. If this person is that toxic, or they talk down to you or they make you feel worse about yourself this person is probably stealing your peace, or they make it harder for you to find peace.
Speaker 1:Now, of course, you can find peace around a horrible person, but it is a lot easier to just not have them around you. So ask yourself, look around you and your environment and ask yourself are there people who make it harder to have peace? Are there people around me who make my life less peaceful? And, if so, can you limit the time you spend around those people right? How do you keep them at a distance when you need your peace and your happiness the most? Or, unfortunately, if necessary, how do you cut those people out of your life altogether, because your peace is more important than what they have to offer you right now? So people, that's one of them. That's one of the things that can steal your peace. What else can steal your peace? What you have going on in your head, what are the things inside your head that you are thinking that is stealing your peace? Or the ways you talk to yourself stealing your peace, and I stress this all the time but the way you talk to yourself drives the way you think of yourself, and that will absolutely steal your peace. What narratives do you have going on in your head that make it less peaceful for you. The way you speak to yourself, the things going on in your head steal your peace more than anything else.
Speaker 1:Do you worry a lot? Are you constantly worrying all the time? Because we worry about something? Because we either think that we'll be more prepared for it if it does go wrong, or we think that by worrying about it, we're actually in control of it, that we have control over by thinking about it and being ready for the worst outcome. Or we think that by worrying about it it'll make it not happen, and that is not true at all. Worrying does not bring change. Worrying does not bring change. It just doesn't Right. Are you worried about the future? Are you stressing? Do you guilt and shame yourself for not being where you want to be in your life? Yet We've all been there right To a certain extent. Are you guilting yourself because you don't have the body you want, because you're not married, because you messed up in your career? Don't let the way you talk to yourself steal your peace, because a lot of times that's exactly what it is. It's the way you talk to yourself stealing your peace. There's a good chance it is For those of you who can afford to change locations. It's the place you live stealing your peace. Is it time for you to move on? Do you have roommates that make peace hard? Having peace hard?
Speaker 1:And this one is more obvious because we know when the environment we're in is stealing our peace, just like when I was in that show and it was literally some of my best work as an actor, but it was probably the worst experience in my professional career and I knew it was because it was external. It was in my thoughts. Right, your thoughts can be holding your peace back and you not even realize it. The external, you know it, you feel it. Are you living with your parents or your parents living with you? And that's stealing your peace. Your neighborhood, and again, you may not be able to just change it, but you can, at the very least, name it and, like I said, get laser focused on how to limit it.
Speaker 1:Another big one the news. My God, talk about stealing your peace. Does the news steal your peace? Now, I'm not telling you to not be caught up and being to know, but are you consuming too much of it, seeing all the bad in the world and the politics and the slander and the hate? Yes, be informed, but do you need it all day, every day, right now?
Speaker 1:A funny example of this and I was just talking with this, talking about this to my roommate the other day, and this happened around the George Floyd riots and if you know there were, there were mainly happening in Minneapolis St Paul a little bit too, but mainly Minneapolis. And this was after it was happening for a few days, probably a week or so. And I remember driving to Woodbury, which is a suburb outside of the Twin Cities, where a suburb that's away from the rioting right, but from my house it's only about a 15 minute drive, and I was out there grocery shopping and way out there in Woodbury you had some businesses boarding up the windows in Woodbury. What are you scared of? You think people about to drive way out here to Woodbury. You think folks about to catch the bus to come riot. I literally was almost in tears laughing at that, like, uh, no, y'all safe, trust me, you safe. But why didn't they feel safe? Well, what do you think they were seeing on the news all day, every day. You know, I kind of don't blame them from allowing that fear of what they were seeing on the news. Take their peace, steal their peace, right? If I had a business out there, I would at least have that in the back of my mind, right? But in reality, the riots were in the city, not the suburbs. Anyway, my point is the news is a big one, another big one, probably the biggest one, and I'll let you take a guess as to what that is, which you already know what it is Social media.
Speaker 1:Social media is destroying your peace. Exercise that unfollow button. My unfollow hand, like they say, pimp hand, my unfollow hand is strong and I highly suggest you do the same If you come across a post from somebody and it makes you feel some kind of way, especially if that person is somebody who you never really see in real life or in an act. With unfollow that person, you just broke up with somebody. You stopped dating somebody.
Speaker 1:Unfollow or make it so you can't see their posts, so it's not popping up in your timeline Somebody posting things on your timeline that you disagree with. Unfollow. Doom and gloom, negative unfollow. Get all of that out of your face, out of your life. Get laser focused on getting rid of that. Don't allow that to be part of your future thoughts, because if you don't unfollow, then that's exactly what you're doing, and I saw this quote the other day. It says some poor, phoneless fool is probably sitting next to a waterfall, unaware of how sad and scared they're supposed to be. Right when they say ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss to a certain extent, of course. What else can be still in your peace? Your job, your job can be still in your peace if you wake up every day and you just hate going to work. Maybe it's time to start looking for something different. I'm not telling you to quit, because they always tell you to find something before you leave something, but is it time for a change? Or maybe it is time to just end it? Are you doing too much? Too many jobs, not enough downtime? Is that still in your peace?
Speaker 1:And with COVID last week, man, I didn't realize how much I truly just needed some downtime, because, of course, I had the quarantine. I was locked in my room, lay it up, watching Netflix, drinking fluids and just resting for four days until I test the negative. And I feel so rejuvenated, I feel so rested, so refreshed and and as obvious as it may seem, I realized that you know what I Need this rejuvenation period to be a recurrent thing, because of course, I take breaks, but never four days in a row. Four day breaks right, I'll take a day right. Like I said, especially during the football season, I take Sundays off. But this break made me realize that I need a little mini house vacation every now and then so I can Reset, because I feel so much better, I gang so much more peace now. While I was quarantining no, my god, I was so bored, but as soon as I came out I was like yeah, this is nice, I like how I feel right now. So the sooner we can get to a point where our peace is so important to us and we figure out all the ways our peace is being taken from us and we get laser focused on getting rid of it, the sooner the better and the more happiness we will have become aware of it. Take action for your happiness, for your peace, and watch how you will start to become happier and happier over time. So that's what I got for you today. Like I always say, man, I appreciate you all being here. Like I always say, if you found this episode helpful, please share it on your social media and make sure you tag me in it. If you're watching on YouTube. Please subscribe, and all donations are much appreciated.
Speaker 1:I feel like I've been talking a long time, so I'm gonna go ahead and end this one. Then let's ride out my finger glued to the play button. A wise man speaks because he has something to say. A fool speaks because he has to say something. Let's play it all. Tell me what you think about me, psych. Try your luck with your gambling.
Speaker 1:I try my luck with gymnastics, hoping my money do backflip. I flip and I flip. Speaking of flipping, I'm flipping out. If you ain't with it, I flip you out. Flipping the bird flip at the mouth. I feel like Ric Flair. Woo, I finna, flip off. A top row Got me in your microscope. Feel like it's a different type of score. You wish you could do it. Huh, fly like an asteroid. I'm a lion, like Detroit. I'm the one that came to voice One time, with George Floyd, a moment of silence.
Speaker 1:Man, open your eyelids. I see the balance. I need some guidance. You see me smiling cause I'm looking past you. I see the horizon and I'm gonna ride like Bugatti and my face high like Ali Need a shot. I got it. I took another shot of Hennessy Know. The rest is all history and she love my dirty mouth.
Speaker 1:Pawn pass on list to ring All gas if I hit the wheelie, all swag when I hit the scene, all pass up, not in my seat. Tell my teacher I fit on my feet, stand up, gotta stand for something, right, can't be down for nothing, right? They pushing me to the edge? Hold up, I'm gonna jump tonight. I'm jumping, I'm going, I jump. Now I'm up. I was stuck, just my luck. I looked in the mirror. My vision got clearer. I shook off the dust and I've been turning and turning and turning and turning and up I'm up. I'm way up, way up, way up. I'm way up, way up, way up. I'm the one that came to voice. I'm the real. Like McCoy, I come with that noise. I'm way up, way up, way up. I'm way up, way up, way up. I'm way up, way up, way up. I'm way up, way up, way up. Flexing on them like Royce, bounce on them like Voyce. I will never be destroyed Two times for George Floyd.
Speaker 1:I'm on my own in the silence and I know what about it means. Make it show. I'm opposite. My life matters, boy. I'm just putting on for my representing like a congressman. Look at what I've been accomplishing. I don't even want to acknowledge me.
Speaker 1:I know when it's kind of fair when I'm talking. Pay attention, can't be talking when you listen. Take notes, hold me, jot in this, take a picture for your documents. Sick with it should be in the clinic. Yeah, something like Mayo Watching y'all try to catch up. You can hold all the condiments. God, please keep the fake away. I don't know what kind of fraudulence, something. Damn it ain't bluffing Girl.
Speaker 1:I'm jumping, I'm going on jump. Yeah, I'm just you dumb. Guess what? I'm way up, way up. I'm way up, way up. I'm way up, way up. I'm way up, way up. I'm the one you came to void. I'm the real. Like McCoy. I come with that noise. I'm way up, way up. I'm way up, way up. I'm way up, way up. Flexing on them like Royce, bounce on them like Voyce. I will never be destroyed, relaxed. Rest in peace. I'm out.
Speaker 1:Aubrey, brianna Taylor, frank van Morden, stefano Clark, tamia Rice, valendo Castille, jamar Clarke, walter Scott, atatiana Jefferson, freddy Gray, sandra Bland, alton Spurnando, edwitt, teal my foot on the gas and I just lift the pump and I'm jumping. I'm don't not jump, now, I'm up. You see. The thing is, these tears ain't gonna last forever. I looked in the mirror. My vision got clearer. I shook off the dust and I been turning and turning and turning and turning it up. Now I'm up, I'm way up. Yeah, I'm way up. Yeah, I'm way up. Yeah, I'm the one you can't avoid. I'm the real. Like McCoy, I come with the noise. I'm way up. Yeah, I'm way up. Yeah, I'm way up. Yeah, I'm flexin' on them like boys, bounce on them like boys. I'm never be destroyin'.