It can be easy to see how someone has an ego. Usually it shows itself in an overly confident appearance. For the most part, we would say it's easy to spot. We would also say that it's easy to tell if WE have an ego. And most of us would feel like we don't. What if I told you that not only do you have an ego, but your ego is causing you obstacles in your life? You don't want to miss this 2 part episode!
This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
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It can be easy to see how someone has an ego. Usually it shows itself in an overly confident appearance. For the most part, we would say it's easy to spot. We would also say that it's easy to tell if WE have an ego. And most of us would feel like we don't. What if I told you that not only do you have an ego, but your ego is causing you obstacles in your life? You don't want to miss this 2 part episode!
This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
Watch On YouTube
Listen To My Music!
Here's how you can donate:
VENMO
PAYPAL
CASH APP
Need other options? Email me at:
dariusdotch@gmail.com
What's up everybody and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dutch and I'm an actor, hip hop artist and fitness and life coach. I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can, one, become the best version of yourself mentally and, two, gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. At the end of this episode, if you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who will benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. Alright, and welcome back to another episode of Before we Get Started. I first want to say that this is a two part episode, and we're talking about ego and the fact that you yes, you have an ego, and most of you probably would disagree with that, especially if you're a person who has had a lot of ups and downs lately. Right, we're talking about how your ego can actually be a big reason for those ups and downs and how to work on it. So this episode is the second part, the first episode. We talked about some of the obvious ways we have egos. Some are more obvious than others, but still obvious. Today let's talk about some of the not so obvious ways you have an ego, as well as what to do next, which is the most important part. So I would suggest that you go listen to the first episode first. It's a good warm up to this episode, and if you already heard the first one, then let's dive into this thing. So let's talk about those less obvious ones.
Speaker 1:Number one seeking outside approval. Seeking outside approval is an important one to realize, and not only seeking outside approval, but seeking it for reward. The addiction of other people's approval is an ego thing on your part. You can't love yourself without being yourself. You can't be yourself if you don't believe in yourself. You can't love yourself without being yourself, and you can't beat yourself if you don't believe in yourself. By you seeking the approval of other people all the time, it means you're lacking in personal belief, and this is definitely one that I've been the victim of. It can be easy to feel like you need someone else to tell you that you did a good job before you actually feel like you did a good job and social media plays a big role in this. That damn like button. That like button is literally ruining people For getting too many likes or getting too few likes. I have to constantly work on that myself that just because I don't get the amount of likes that I want, it doesn't mean that I'm not doing good or that I'm not worthy. I really used to let that get me down, and it still does at times, but I've gradually gotten better. But that's number one.
Speaker 1:The second one, being afraid to be alone. People who are afraid to be alone or can't be alone, they have an ego issue. They can't be with themselves with their own company. Are you comfortable in your own presence? And this goes hand in hand with if you truly love yourself and forgive me, I'm going through these really, really fast. I want to get them out for number one and two. Respect your time to make sure I can finish this conversation in just two episodes.
Speaker 1:Number three. Three is only hanging out with folks who agree with you. You only hang out with the people who believe exactly what you do and what you believe in In politics, in religion, in education, style. The truly confident person is comfortable and willing to associate with folks who have different opinions and folks who express them differently than what they do. But the unconfident people, the ones who can't be around people with different ideas. They only surround themselves with people that are going to agree with everything they say and everything they do, and that is a formula for no growth. You don't want to have everyone around you believing in the same thing. You want to have folks around you that will challenge you.
Speaker 1:Number four being easily offended by criticism. If you offend about people's criticism, you really have an ego issue and I think this one is actually one of the more obvious reasons and, like I said last episode, sometimes we need to welcome criticism with open arms. I see actors struggle with this a lot in the rehearsal process and you think you're doing the character and the character's thought process and their motivation for saying the words and the text. You think you're doing that right and the director tells you that you have it wrong In so many words. I see actors fight tooth and nail for ideas that are just wrong. They bump heads with the director and now rehearsal is uncomfortable because of ego. Criticism can be good. That's four.
Speaker 1:Number five being stuck in the past. Are you constantly telling old stories from the past? That's an ego issue. All the accolades you had in high school, all the cool achievements you've had at your old job, what you once did back then, that's ego. Where are you going? What are you currently doing? What's next for you? Constantly reciting the past means you aren't living in the present.
Speaker 1:I got a homeboy and I'm okay with saying this on here because I was said to him and I'm pretty sure I have said it to him but we ain't been in high school since 04 and he's a great older than me. But for the longest time, every time I saw him, he would bring up this time in football practice, when he got a good hit on me and I'll admit he did, he blew me up. Everybody was like, ooh right, it was one of those good hits. But for the longest time he would always bring it up Like, hey, remember that time in practice when I hit you, when I let you up? Yes, yeah, dog, I do, I remember Right Now. That was his ego. Now I still. I love my boy, but that was ego and it's all. Love is all fun, okay.
Speaker 1:And the last one is constantly apologizing. Apologizing Now. This definitely is not a obvious one, but somebody who's always apologizing about something. And let me be clear I'm not talking about those people who just apologize all day for the simple things, like that person who you bumped into by accident and they tell you that they're sorry, or that person who was sorry for dropping a pencil when they handed it to you, right? We know those people. Not talking about them. I'm talking about the ones that do the same thing to you or somebody else and instead of fixing it and making sure it doesn't happen again, they take the easy route and just say I'm sorry and apologize. They apologize without doing any of the work. That's ego and unfortunately I have been guilty of this.
Speaker 1:My communication, especially through text, we're mainly through text. Sometimes I am really bad at responding. I'll leave people's texts on red and not respond for days, and I'm sure some of you listening to me right now know this from experience and my ego. I would apologize every time. Every time I would admit that that's on me, right? I'm sorry, but did I do the work to change it? And before I didn't? I'm working on it now and I've gotten a lot better at it. My homeboy he tells me all the time. Hey, man, you got way better than what you used to be, but still, I know I'm not there yet and I'm working on it. And actually I got one more, and this last one is the biggest one, and it is worrying what everyone thinks about you.
Speaker 1:If you're constantly worried about what folks think about you, you have an ego that is out of control, and I know that sounds crazy. You would think that because you do care what people think about you, it means you don't have an ego. It's the exact opposite. People with no ego love themselves so much that they know who they are down to their core, and other people's opinions just don't matter. They don't need the approval of other people. All they need is God or whatever beliefs they may have, their family and themselves, and that's it, not other people's opinions.
Speaker 1:So these are all the different issues with ego and things and ways, how our ego impacts our lives, and some of these things are real obvious. A lot of them not so much. But let's wrap up and talk about you for a second. Wouldn't the ultimate version of you not brag, not boast, not tell stories about the past, not worry about what other people think about you Somebody that can take criticism. Well, all the things we discussed over these two episodes, the ultimate version of you would have none of those egos.
Speaker 1:I believe the way we remove ego is we love ourselves, we believe in ourselves and that we know ourselves. And moving forward, I wanna challenge you to start giving yourself some grace and giving yourself a little more credit and when you see these things start to show up in who you are, recognize that these are ego issues. Check yourself when it happens, because these things can lead to a setback. What happens is we start to think, especially when things are going well, that we have so much figured out, we think that we're on the right track and we're killing it and we stop working on ourselves or we stop reading the books, we stop working out as hard we feel like we deserve a break. We let that momentum we built up get to our heads and we start to coast. And when we do that, the negative effect doesn't show up right away. It shows up weeks, months later. It shows up down the road and that's the problem.
Speaker 1:Think about whatever slump you may be in right now, whatever setback you're experiencing, I bet more than likely you can look back at a few months, maybe even a little bit longer, and see how you started the downward spiral. And usually it starts when you're feeling good and you think you're in a good place, and you slowly start to slip and you don't even recognize, you don't even realize it's happening. Failure or the setback is delayed. Same thing in business. If a business stops doing what made them successful, the company won't fail right away, but over time it's gonna get worse and worse and worse and they'll realize that they are in trouble. They're gonna realize something has to happen, something has to change. Same thing with you.
Speaker 1:The negative result always trails the negative behavior. The negative results always trail the negative behavior. And I definitely see this in myself. I can look back at all the times when I had to pull myself up to pull myself out of a setback. It's because I got comfortable. I stopped doing the things required to win.
Speaker 1:And if you listen to the first part of this two-part episode, I opened up by saying that I want you to do great things. I believe in you and I know you can turn things around for yourself, and I mean that. And for you to turn things around, you have to understand that you have to do the things now. You have to start to work now and just like those negative results come later, so will the positive results, and the positive results will take longer, unfortunately, but they will come. Most of the people I follow online, like entrepreneurs and life coaches, they all say it takes about six to 12 months to see the positive results from your hard work, and that's longer for the negative results. The negative results tend to only take one to four months. Remember that the positive results from all the things you're doing. They won't show up for six to 12 months, but the negative results show up in one to four months. So remember, when you start working towards something and you don't see progress right away, keep going. You haven't gotten there yet and if you stop doing the things you need that got you there, the negative results are gonna come faster and you're gonna have to work that much longer to get you back to those positive results.
Speaker 1:It's not fair, but I'll be damn sure. If it's not true, don't let your ego get in the way and say, man, I'm doing all this stuff and it's not working. There's a delay in gratification coming and, on the other side of the coin, if you are winning, don't stop doing the things that got you here, because you're not far away from a setback if you do. And this is how ego gets us. And let me say again that you are supposed to do something great in life. I know you are. You're supposed to be happy and successful, and it all starts with love on yourself. And I'm not just talking about self-love, meaning saying I love myself, I'm beautiful, I'm enough. All that is important. But what I mean is do the things that are true to who you are, who you really are. Do things that will remove that ego and allow you to be you, doing the work every day on yourself or your business every day, even though you don't see results. That is a true lack of ego. Doing the work and showing up for yourself, showing yourself that you believe in yourself, knowing that the delayed gratification is going to take some time. That is self-love and that is how you get rid of whatever ego you may have. So that's what I got for you today, man. Thank you all for being here. Like I always say, man, please share, share, share this episode If you found it helpful and make sure you tag me in it. Please subscribe to my channel. Subscribe to my YouTube channel, as well as leave me a review on one of the podcast platform you're on, and this is a donation driven podcast. Any donation is helpful and appreciated. Thank you so much, and let's ride out.
Speaker 1:When the habit, for whatever reason it, don't feel manly, I need some. So food. I'm in the kitchen. I wanna cook for ya. I'll even do the dishes. So take a seat, stay awhile. You see me with a smile. Don't mean I'm weak, so don't try.
Speaker 1:Ain't nothing sweet? My potato pie. Speaking of pie, I need me a slice. I'm talkin' financial stability. I'm done with humble pie. I'm just a humble guy. I gotta switch up my energy. I gotta get my head together, cause I don't know what they got into me. I can't let quarantine get to me, starting to get to me mentally. It go to my head. Somebody make me a plate. I'm goin' to bed, but I'm still thankful. You better thank the Lord for your daily bread, cause you got a soul and you got a feed to soul and gotta stay fed and wash it down with some Kool-Aid. Guess what flavor? You know it's red. Who got the dominoes? Who got the spades? Who know? You know I play it. You don't know how. You better not sit down. I brush your head, I keep it real and I say how I feel. I don't read niggas. I wanna go back to being the kid with a big head at the table in soul food.