Let's dig deep into the unspoken challenges of personal development. It's time to get real about two major roadblocks;The idea that wanting to improve means something's wrong with you, It's all part of being human. Second, the myth of some "destination". Personal development isn't about reaching a flawless endpoint; it's an ongoing evolution. Tune in now to embrace the authentic, messy, and rewarding path of growth.
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Let's dig deep into the unspoken challenges of personal development. It's time to get real about two major roadblocks;The idea that wanting to improve means something's wrong with you, It's all part of being human. Second, the myth of some "destination". Personal development isn't about reaching a flawless endpoint; it's an ongoing evolution. Tune in now to embrace the authentic, messy, and rewarding path of growth.
Watch On YouTube
Listen To My Music!
This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
Here's how you can donate:
VENMO
PAYPAL
CASH APP
Need other options? Email me at:
dariusdotch@gmail.com
Listen to Dotch Music!
Thank you!
What's up everybody and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dodge and I'm an actor, hip-hop artist and fitness and life coach. I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can, one, become the best version of yourself mentally and, two, gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. And at the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. And at the end of this episode, if you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who would benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. Hey, and welcome back to another episode. First off, let me say thank y'all for being here. I truly appreciate you listening to me. If you are listening on YouTube or watching on YouTube, please like and subscribe. If you are on a podcast platform, please leave a review. Both of those things greatly help me out. And please make a donation. This is a donation driven podcast and your donations make this possible. Let's go ahead, jump in.
Speaker 1:So today let's talk about some problems with personal development. And I've been in personal development for a little while now. I have over 230 something episodes out. While now I have over 230 something episodes out. I've heard from several people over the few years I've been doing this that they have either heard me talk about something that really helped them or people tell me how they've been implementing the things I talk about on here into their lives and it's been helping them, how they've been seeing a difference. And of course, I have been implementing a little tongue twister. Of course I've been implementing a little tongue twister. Of course I've been implementing these things in my own life and I can 100 percent say this stuff works. It helps you grow, it helps you reach goals, it helps you improve areas you need to. It helps you understand why you think the way you do and why some of your shortcomings happen and how to get past them. And I've been kind of obsessed with personal development. I love it. I'm loving the man I'm becoming, and my auntie tell me all the time and I truly believe her that my mama would be so proud of me, that she would be so proud of the son I became. And I think my personal development is only adding to that. And, like I said, I am low-key, obsessed with it. And over the years of doing it, of listening to other life coaches who've been doing it way longer than me, who have way more experience than me, I have either experienced or learned about some problems that come from personal development, things that we will call problems and one of the first things we notice is we find out that, oh okay, I have some areas that I want that I need to improve in myself.
Speaker 1:But first let's understand the difference. What this does not mean is that there's something wrong with us. It just means there are certain aspects of ourselves, certain areas in our lives, that we want to improve on. Because, before you start, ignorance is bliss right, we don't know what we don't know. But then we start working on ourselves, we start learning things about ourselves and we start to see these areas about ourselves as flaws. We feel like we have these things to work on and it makes us not good, it makes us less. We have problems.
Speaker 1:We feel like we need to work on things to get quote unquote normal that there's something quote unquote wrong with us. We put this spotlight on the things that we want to work on, a spotlight on that anger issue, a spotlight on needing to meditate more, a spotlight on having too much anxiety, too much stress, whatever it is. We can think that we're below the line of quote unquote normal and we can get caught up in thinking that we need to improve ourselves just to be normal. We feel like we need to improve ourselves just to be normal. We feel like we need to get better just to get normal. And trying to just get to normal, having to put in work to get to quote unquote normal that ain't motivating. How motivated can you really be to strive for normal right? And what I want you to understand is that if you have things you have to work on, like we all do right Stress, anxiety, bad habits, getting better at following through, showing up for yourself, negative self-talk you are normal.
Speaker 1:There is nothing wrong with you. You are normal. It's normal to have any of these things. It's normal to need to work on these things. That is normal. To get quote unquote better is suggesting that right now you're currently worse, and that is not the way you should be looking at it. These things are normal. These are normal human sides of any human being. The way you should be looking at this is I'm working on myself to get better, to create a more evolved version of myself evolved and this is one of the first things we notice, one of the first problems we notice with personal development. We become aware and now we think there's something quote unquote wrong with us. Change the way you think about that.
Speaker 1:The second thing that happens, that I've noticed and what so many other successful people talk about, is, once we notice that we're trying to get better, when we start making progress, we get this feeling of when will I get there? When will I ever get there? When will I finally get to that destination? And that's where we get caught up in waiting for the arrival. When will my problems be fixed? When will it be perfect? When will I get quote unquote there, wherever there is and I definitely struggle with that. It's easy to struggle with that.
Speaker 1:You learn, you realize that, hey, these are the areas I should work on and you do the work, you show up for yourself, you make the conscious effort to change and you see change and you notice that, hey, ok, ok, look at me, I'm doing it, I got better at that. I see improvements, and then at some point you fall back into those same habits you corrected and the next thing you know, you look up and you realize you procrastinate again or you're catastrophizing again, or you're not being productive, or you're being stagnant, or you're not stepping outside your comfort zone like you should be. Whatever those things that you've been working on are, at some point you come to a point where you just ask yourself when will I get there? I thought I was past that, I thought I was done with this thing. And here I am again and we start to feel anger or shame or guilt. We guilt ourselves because this thing we worked on, that we thought we fixed, is back again.
Speaker 1:So before you ever do that again, understand this with this kind of work personal development, self-development, spiritual development there's a really good chance that you're going to go through the rest of your life and unfortunately you will never get there. I hate to break it to you. There is no destination when it comes to this kind of work. Getting fully past all the things you want to work on or the things you've been working on it is not a realistic landing place. It's just not Now. I have been doing this kind of work on myself for over three years now and this is one of the things that I can actually quantify and put a real measurement on right, because it's hard to measure how much you've gotten better mentally. You know. You know you've gotten better. You know how much you feel better. You recognize the growth is there, but it's not something that's tangible. You can't touch mental growth. But what I've gotten better at over the years, over my time working on myself, is being productive man when I tell you this is the most productive I have ever been in my life.
Speaker 1:And it's almost annoying sometimes because I find myself having to resist overstepping when I hear somebody make the mistake of putting small things off, like every time I hear somebody say they'll do something tomorrow, when that thing is only going to take five minutes. I really have to force myself not to speak on it because I'm like, bro, if you do it right now, you don't have to do it tomorrow. It's going to take you three minutes. Do it now. And I say this all the time on here and I'm going to say it again If it's going to take you five minutes or less, do it now, don't wait, just do it. If you ain't already in the middle of doing something else and something comes up, that's only gonna take you five minutes, just get it done, because what happens is you're gonna procrastinate on it, you're gonna wait to the last minute to get it done. Now you rushing or you forget about it, and that's 100% me. I forget all the time. So just so, just Nike that thing and just do it.
Speaker 1:Anyway, one thing I pride myself on is I am productive as hell, the most productive I've been in my life. But I still have moments, I still have seasons where I just procrastinate, where I put things off, where I'm not as productive as I want to be, as I used to be, where I'm not as disciplined, and I used to beat myself up about this. Like, come on, that's you better than this. The hell wrong with you. Don't be soft. Don't give me that I'm too tired, bs. Don't tell me you mentally tired, put in the damn work, put the damn phone down, get to work Now. Do I need to hold myself accountable? Yes, and you should too. And also, do I need to speak better to myself? Yes, it is something I'm working on, but again, recognize that there ain't no final destination. It's going to happen again. These things will come back up again. Those things that you've worked on and got better at. They will come back again and you just need to dust yourself off, get back on that horse, because it's going to happen again. To dust yourself off, get back on that horse, because it's going to happen again.
Speaker 1:Another example with my social media and my content that I create and my following online and me want to grow and grow my following and my engagement. I have moments where I feel like the things I post hardly ever gets the engagement I want and, even though I've been doing the work on myself to not let it affect me, to understand that it will eventually come, that this season is one that I have to perfect my craft. So when it does come, I'm going to be so far ahead, but I still have my moments and I don't know if it's God or the universe or coincidence, but every now and then I'll be talking to somebody and somehow social media comes up. I'll be talking to somebody and somehow social media comes up and, without me even talking about my own, they'll say something like yeah, you know, I'll make a post or I want to make a post about this thing or that thing, but I don't have a big following like you. Now you have a way bigger following online than I do, and one that always catches me off guard to hear somebody tell me that because I'm over here looking at my numbers and getting depressed about it. And two, I have been put into work. The progress is there.
Speaker 1:My problem is I'm worried about the quote unquote arrival and I'm letting it get me discouraged, and it's something I talk about on here a lot and here I am doing it again, falling back into that bad habit. But also, like I say on here all the time, I'm on this journey with you and that journey we're going through. It's one you have to keep on keeping on. Now, what I'm not saying is it's going to be hard the whole time, because that just sounds awful right, and when you look back and see how far you've came, how much work it took, and especially the hard times, the last thing you want to hear is what you're telling me. I got to do that all over again, all right, so understand that you have done the heavy lifting to get to this point. It was a setback, not a reset. You already have done the hardest part. Now you just have to maintain it, to fix a few patches every now and then.
Speaker 1:So again, it's not about the destination, but it's about understanding that we will constantly need to improve and work on ourselves, constantly having to evolve, and I think what it comes down to is the bounce back, the time it takes to get back on track, because the more you work on yourself, the more you will have those moments where you come up to something that you thought you quote unquote fixed. And they'll keep coming up because you will keep evolving and with evolution brings change Right. So some things are going to be brand new. Other things will be old habits and old thought patterns. Either way, they'll still pop up. So it comes down to allowing it to affect you, allowing it to affect you less and less. The more that you let go of trying to quote unquote arrive, arrive or to quote unquote be there or to be perfect with it, the more your happiness will go up, because some things are just going to be with you forever.
Speaker 1:Let's say, when you were younger, you used to be a hothead and you would get pissed off about something. Let's say, somebody would lie on you and that would really trigger you, piss you off, because you hate being lied on, and it would piss you off for a few days. Let's say you was mad at that person who lied on you for like a week after they lied on you and every time you hear their name get brought up it'll be like they just lied on you all over again. And as you got older you notice this flaw that you hold on to anger for way too long and you work on yourself. And let's say, in a few years, instead of a whole week, now you got it down to like three days, because, hey, three days is better than a week and you work on it and you work on yourself. And, let's say, a year later now you have it down to only a day. Somebody lies on you, which is something you hate Now, instead of a whole week. Look at you. You improved, you grew.
Speaker 1:You only let it affect you for a day and fast forward another year or two and that day turns into a few hours. Then those few hours eventually turn into just a moment, just a moment. It happens. You have a reaction to it. You can't always control your first thought but, like I always say on here, you can't control that second thought. So you have that moment and you're over it and maybe, just maybe, over time you'll get to a point where that kind of thing no longer bothers you, maybe.
Speaker 1:So a few things. One, I'm realizing this is a horrible example, because who in the hell gets lied on that much? You have a really interesting life if you get lied on all the time that much. And again, like I said, we never fully quote unquote arrive. Some things will always pop up at some point, even if it's years down the road, after we even forgot that we had to work on that thing. Things pop up.
Speaker 1:And lastly, on this journey, the most important thing to remember is that the more you release the destination, the happier you will be, because we are going to fall back into old patterns, old habits, old triggers, and the worst thing we can do in these moments is to judge ourselves and to guilt and shame ourselves. Don't find that old wound that you thought you had healed and instead of noticing it that hey, it actually ain't as healed as I thought it was, let me put some salt in it. Let me pick at it and make it worse. No, again, this is a journey. Understand that it's a continuous thing, that you'll be doing this over and over and over. It just might not look the same Now the way you used to procrastinate back then and you work on it and you start making progress with it. When it eventually pops back up for you, it won't be the same. No, you're coming at it from a different place. You've experienced the lows at a much more extreme.
Speaker 1:If you never know sadness, how can you ever truly know happiness? If you never know sadness? How can you ever truly know happiness If you never know fear? How can you know courage? If you never know what it's like to be broke, then you'll never appreciate having money. If you have never experienced heartbreak, then you'll never truly know what it's like to find that perfect love. If you never know what it's like to have a setback, then you'll never know how it feels to make it to the end of an extremely difficult journey. It's a different kind of feeling. It feels way different. If you make it to whatever that goal is and you've had its ups and downs right, as opposed to it being all easy, it was a cakewalk you won't feel the same sense of accomplishment.
Speaker 1:It's not about getting rid of some part of you. Some things will always be there. The anger. It might not ever go away, but it's about figuring out how to work with it, how to minimize it, these areas that you're trying to improve on. They will pop back up. So get used to the fact that you are who you are, not that you're going to just let it stay the same and it is what it is, but you're evolving, you're working on yourself. You ain't perfect, but you ain't the same, because you're putting in the work to make sure you do the opposite, and sometimes that includes having to deal with the things you thought you got past, but don't forget about the progress you have made. So that's what I got for you today, man. Thank you all so much for being here again. Please like and subscribe on YouTube, leave me a review on social media platforms and please make a donation. Your donations are going to be appreciated and it helps make this thing keep going.
Speaker 1:And I don't have any more new music for y'all today. This time I will next episode. So what you've been hearing, I think I've released or I've sneak peeked or previewed, I think, four songs. So what you are hearing will be my next EP. So the last four episodes. If you are new, if this is your first time listening, go back to the last four episodes, or four or five. There was one episode where it wasn't a new song at the end.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so I'm working on my EP and it's going to consist of right now I'm leaning towards six or seven songs. I have like 15 to choose from. But, yeah, I'm leaning towards six or seven songs. I have like 15 to choose from. But, yeah, I break it down. I break it up into two EPs. So, yes, six or seven on this one, and who knows what the next one will be? Because, man, so sorry, I'm going to rant for a little bit. Not a rant, but just talk. I am really in my creative bag right now, like I've been working on music and I'm like, for real, for real, surprising myself. So there may be a song or two that gets added because I'm like man, folks have to hear this now, so we'll see. But either way, y'all will get it first because, again, I appreciate y'all being part of my little community and I thank you. So let's ride out.
Speaker 1:You know, sometimes you gotta remind yourself as you're climbing up to take a second and look down and see how far you came, enjoy the view and keep going. They telling me I got it. They tell me I'm the hottest. I don't even rap about money, drugs or violence. I be being honest, you know I'm still modest, but I think we the hottest and I feel like DJ Khaled Nigga, we the best, nah, really. Nigga, we the best, nah, really. You should see this mess.
Speaker 1:Last night we had a party. You know that boy Mosley got us started. You know that boy Sapp was all about it. She telling me I'm fly got me feeling like a pilot. She kept it first class and she sat by the pilot. I can't even front here. I told her I like the spirit and dealt her my phone number. And now she be flying diamond and I'm feeling so excited cause I'ma get it poppin'.
Speaker 1:They done, let me in the gutter. I'm feeling so accomplished. I'm feeling like I'm closer to my peak. Uh, feel like I'm closer to my peak, but I feel like. I feel like I'm never home until I'm gone, feel like when I'm alone, I'm in my zone and I feel like. I feel like I really should pick up a phone. Sometimes. I just need to be on my own. I need to call my daddy. I should call my auntie. Rip my mama. That ain't how she raised me. I work so damn hard to competition, looking lazy. I work so damn hard to competition. Better chase me. Okay, let's get it started.
Speaker 1:When it come to rap, it's like playing a game of tag. I'm on this mic yelling, not it. I can't be touched. They whisper. Criticism can't be much. They probably jealous cause they can't keep up. Mad, cause they can't be us. I wish somebody would say that. I wish somebody would say that's whack, cause that? Go in the fire, get it. And speaking of that, I make it past the sky because I'm shooting for the stars. I got a lot of ammunition. I popped another clip in. I'm proud of what I'm spitting.
Speaker 1:Took a lot of planning, went from high bitch to fruition. They see me in the clouds and acknowledge that I'm gifted. Got me feeling like I'm closer to my peak. Yeah, feel like I'm closer to my peak and I ain't as easy as it look, but we gonna celebrate. Put my cup Cheers to being overlooked, to being overbooked, but won't give up cause I got close, but I ain't close enough. It's time to hold my nuts and I got coconuts.
Speaker 1:I put my feelings on the page. They already read me like an open book. I should be endorsed by my feelings, cause I wear them on my sleeve. So take a look at me and tell me what you see, cause I look in the mirror and I see a fucking tree started as a mustard seed. Oh yeah, and please excuse my long toast. I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast Not on Google Maps, but I know I'm getting close. I'm closer to my P. I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast Not on Google Maps, but I know I'm getting close. I'm closer to my P's. No-transcript.