Evolving Self-Support: Navigating Growth, Burnout, and Success in Life
Jul 15, 2024
Darius Dotch
Let's dive into the transformative journey of self-support through different seasons of life. From building up work ethic to navigating burnout, I explore how our needs for support evolve as we grow and change. I'll share personal experiences and insights on how to adapt and thrive in the face of challenges. It's good to remind ourselves that what got us here may not be what takes us to the next level. Learn how to check in with yourself, adjust your support systems, and cultivate resilience on your path to personal and professional success.
This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
Let's dive into the transformative journey of self-support through different seasons of life. From building up work ethic to navigating burnout, I explore how our needs for support evolve as we grow and change. I'll share personal experiences and insights on how to adapt and thrive in the face of challenges. It's good to remind ourselves that what got us here may not be what takes us to the next level. Learn how to check in with yourself, adjust your support systems, and cultivate resilience on your path to personal and professional success.
This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
What's up everybody and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dodge and I'm an actor, hip-hop artist and fitness and life coach. I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can, one, become the best version of yourself mentally and, two, gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. And at the success in life that you want and deserve, before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. And at the end of this episode, if you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who would benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. All right, and welcome back to another episode. Episode. Thank y'all again for being here. I appreciate the listen and the support I'm getting from everybody. That really means a lot to me. Uh, if you are watching on youtube, please like and subscribe to my channel. If you're listening on a podcast platform, please leave a review. Also, please make a donation. Uh, all of these things help me out greatly and helps me to keep this thing going. But let's go ahead and jump right in. Let's talk about the things you need and specifically about the things you got that got you here to this stage in life with your career, with your business, your health, your relationships, your growth and how is not going to get you there, your growth, and how it's not going to get you there wherever there is for you, because you're evolving and we go through seasons in life and those seasons change and our needs in terms of support from other people and, most importantly, support from our own selves. That needs to change as well, because we evolve, especially if you're on a growth journey, if you're working on self-development and seeking growth and trying to change the way you think to become a better person and all that that comes along with that, then, yes, you are evolving, you're changing and different seasons in your life are going to require different types of support. And let me give an example of myself and the kind of support that I need from myself and how it has changed. And let let's take this podcast, for example.
Speaker 1:
When I first started this podcast, it was while we were in the pandemic and I first made this podcast for my workout clients and that evolved into me creating it for the public. And when I first was making it and going through the beginning stages, I definitely had that uninformed optimism and I dove into this in my last episode. But this is one of the cycles of change, so if you haven't heard that one, I highly recommend that one. Next, it's a really good one to hear. But I was motivated, I was focused, I knew what I was doing was good good for me and good for others to hear and I was starting from scratch. I had nothing to compare to, only what I was creating, and I was noticing that the more I did, the more episodes I created, the better I was getting, the more efficient I was getting.
Speaker 1:
And when I first started, people were really liking what I was putting out there and I was getting a lot of feedback and I was really getting really feeling good about it and I felt like I was making a difference. People would see me out in public and tell me that they love what I'm doing with the podcast. People would see me out in public and tell me that they love what I'm doing with the podcast and I felt this sense of accomplishment. And then the support I needed was in the form of hey, push through this. Yes, it's a lot of work but it's good. Yes, you have a lot to do but it's worth it. I had to build up my work ethic. I had to make it a point to show up and put in the work. That is the support I needed for myself at that moment in that season. And my favorite phrase or slogan back then was do the work. And if you follow me back then on social media, you probably saw these shirts I had. I randomly saw these shirts online and it was a perfect shirt for the season I was in and I ran with that phrase do the work. And I was doing the work.
Speaker 1:
Fast forward to now. Well, not so much now, but periodically, over time. I need a different kind of support because by now my work ethic and drive is strong. I have no problem getting up, putting in the work. I'm way more productive than I've ever been in my life.
Speaker 1:
But my podcast got to a point where my numbers started going down. I was getting less and less feedback, my posts were getting less and less engagement and I was getting a little unsure of myself. Things are different. I would notice that I would make a post about something meaningless, like a funny one sentence post on Facebook or a picture of me, and that would get way more engagement. But when I would post something motivational or inspirational or something that was aligned with the things I talk about on here damn near crickets. And so the reward I used to get from folks, that validation that what I'm doing is good, that I'm reaching people, it started dwindling down.
Speaker 1:
And you can imagine all the work I was doing, all the time and effort I was putting in, and it was seeming a little pointless at that point, but I still knew there are folks out there that really benefit from what I say. But damn, this is hard Right. So my support had to shift. I had to make it about me, not them. Well, yes, them, because I really do this for y'all and I really mean that.
Speaker 1:
But I had to shift from enjoying that immediate feedback to understanding the kind of person I'm becoming by not quitting, by keep going, by pushing through and adjusting and adapting to the lows and really it's literally examples of the things I talk about on here how folks experience lows or setbacks and they give up, they quit and I had to remind myself that, hey, it's harder now, but you're still doing great things. You may not get the feedback you like frequently, but when you do get it, it's always the same People really benefit from what you're doing. Somebody out there needs to hear your words. Keep going, keep showing up for yourself. Look at the kind of person you'll be coming. And what happened is my season shifted and so the way I supported myself had to shift. Before it was building up that work ethic and most recently it was building up my mental fortitude when dealing with setbacks or lows.
Speaker 1:
While I try and figure out what I should do differently, trying to figure out how I can be more visible and understanding that most folks in my situation or in similar situations would have given up by now and holding firm in what I believe in, because I believe in this work and I believe that I'll continue to grow. But I have to make sure I support myself. And the same goes for you. And whatever that thing is you're trying to do, whatever way you supported yourself then, whatever ways your friends and family or your significant other supported you, then whatever as you evolve and grow and change, it's not going to get you there, to where you're trying to get to, and the same thing goes for how you show up for those people. At some point, they're going to get to a place where they'll need some alterations to the way you support and love them. So make sure you keep that in the back of your mind, because I know you want to grow. It's the reason you listen to a podcast like this, and that more than likely means you care about the way you show up in the world and the way you show up for your loved ones.
Speaker 1:
So make sure you remind yourself that you need to check in. Check in with yourself. Is what you're doing and the way you support yourself in this moment, the way you've been doing it? Is that going to get you to where you need to be, or is it going to limit you? Is it going to keep you where you are?
Speaker 1:
Another example of supporting yourself and I had to learn how to get better at is burnout Now, right now, in this season of my life. Like I said, I am super productive, the most productive I've ever been in my life. I can honestly say that. But burnout is real. Burnout is real. And jumping back in after you've been off after you had your setback or you were just feeling off off your game, off your pivot Right.
Speaker 1:
You ever feel that, like you try to get things done and you just, you just can't. You know that you need to be doing the work, you know what you should be doing in this exact moment and you try and you sit down and you sit at your computer, at your desk and nothing. It could be a million different things, something as simple as the weather. For me it's a little harder to be productive in Minnesota in the winter it get darker, like 5 pm, and that could be hard right. It feel like the day is over. You just want to be inside doing nothing.
Speaker 1:
But if you find yourself in a slump, like I always say, make sure that, no matter what, you do something each day, even if it's just one thing. That one thing is better than nothing for one and two. Eventually, if you keep doing just one thing, one thing is going to turn into two, two is going to turn into four, even if four things is way lower than what you normally do. But if you keep doing just at least something each day, you'll still be getting yourself closer. Direction is more important than speed. As long as you're taking steps in the right directions, that is the most important part. But back to burnout. So we have to learn how to support ourselves in a different way than we do when we're in that slump, like for me.
Speaker 1:
I have a lot on my plate and I need to make sure that my brain, that, as my brain is jumping from one thing to the next right From writing a podcast, from marketing my music, from editing videos for myself and other projects for other people, from creating content, from being in a creative space to make music, from marketing my music on my podcast, from being a theater artist and working on my script and performing and looking for more opportunities from my workout business and all that work you can imagine. Mentally I can get burned out. So I have to make sure that I take care of myself. Because I have the work ethic. That's no problem. When I'm in a zone, I can turn it on. But again, what got me here won't get me to where I want to go. What got me here was just taking baby steps, just doing the minimum, because that's all I could do after a burnout and still supporting myself in that, and still supporting myself, even when I know I ain't operating at the same level I once was, because how hard is it on you mentally when you know you should be putting in the work and you don't? You can't, you can get down on yourself. You can feel like you're a failure, like you're failing. You can feel like you ain't capable Right. So, to go from being super productive and working towards my dreams to not being able to do much of anything to still support myself mentally, it has to change, and now that I'm out of that space, I have to make sure I continue to care for myself, but in a different way now. So let's not make the mistake of assuming that what got us here is going to get us there.
Speaker 1:
Check in on yourself. Are you showing up for yourself, for your health, mental and physical health. Are you showing up for yourself, for your health, mental and physical health? Are you showing up for yourself in a way that you talk to yourself? The way you talk to yourself is really important. I say it all the time, but we can be the hardest on ourselves. We doubt ourselves, we say the worst things to ourselves. Are you so stupid? Why would you ever do that? You're so fat. You're so ugly they wouldn't choose you for that job. Why would you even apply? Of course he ain't interested in you. Look how you look in that dress. You look fat in that dress. You look dumb in this shirt. Nobody understands you. You're broken.
Speaker 1:
We can have so many negative things. We can say so many negative things to ourselves, and that's definitely an area that we need to check in, to check, like I always say, the things that you say to yourself, all that negative stuff. Would you say that to your loved ones? Would you look at your little niece or your child or your mama or your husband or wife and say the things to them that you say to yourself? So why are you talking to yourself that way? You wouldn't want anybody talking to you or your loved ones like that. So why do it to yourself?
Speaker 1:
Give yourself what you need and if you haven't been sure enough for yourself, now that you're aware of it, dust it off and recalibrate. Figure out what you need to do. What got you here won't get you there. So, whatever nutrition or workout ethic or the way you treat yourself, the stresses you put on yourself with your time and free time and overworking yourself, whatever you've been doing. That, you know, won't get you to that next level. It needs to be evaluated.
Speaker 1:
Now one of the things I had to get better at was saying no Right. As a freelance theater artist, the saying is you eat today, starve tomorrow. You eat today, you starve tomorrow, meaning you can be busy and booked and blessed and working at theaters left and right, going from one production to the next, having three and four different gigs in a week. Then, a few months later you don't know where your next gig is going to come from. You might not even be sure if you can make rent Right.
Speaker 1:
And during those times I start saying yes to any and every opportunity that comes my way, because in that moment, in that time, I have nothing. And then, down the road, when I'm in the thick of it all of all the things I say yes to I'm exhausted, overworked, having long ass weeks not looking forward to showing up to things that I said yes to, because mentally I'm just drained. So I've been making it a point to show up for myself better in that area. I look ahead at all the things I have going on, all the things that will be going on, and I picture how I will be mentally down the road? Right, will I be willing and ready to do all those things? But how are you talking? How are you taking care of yourself? But how are you talking? How are you taking care of yourself?
Speaker 1:
Maybe you're in a season of stretching, or grief, or change. Change also means loss. Right, you're losing whatever that old thing used to be, whether that's who you used to hang out with, a new job, location and with that loss comes some kind of grief, grief of the loss of the familiar, the familiar thought patterns, the habits. Be aware, if you're in a season where you need to support yourself differently, what got you here won't get you there. Make sure you adapt as you evolve. So check in on yourself, ask yourself what you need to do in this moment.
Speaker 1:
So that's what I got for you today. Please make a donation, please leave a review on your podcast platforms, please like and subscribe on YouTube and share this post if you liked it and if you think other folks would like it as well, because I want to reach as many people as I can. So thank y'all. And the song I got for you today is called Flight to Chicago and let's ride out a plane. The TSA agent just told me good luck. They'll never say that I don't work the hardest, as God is my witness. I made it a promise to me that if they don't fear me, I'll make sure they hear me, and that's why I'm turning shit up, up like Delta, up like Jumpman logos.
Speaker 2:
I'm out to dunk the city. To win, they'll donate a bean. I need me a shot to one. I need to be doing it big I don't do, we'll be right back.
Speaker 1:
I'm in Chicago for work. I'm too focused, I don't have the time to have fun. I'm in the city with niggas. Be flexing and pull out the guns.
Speaker 2:
That's not a pun. Taking it high. You ain't want to get high as I possibly can. I'm not talking blood.
Speaker 1:
They know I'm taking this serious and that's on period, like it's a time of the month. Don't act like I turned my back.
Speaker 2:
I can't help it that Up like a flight, up like a flight. I'm turning up like a flight I touch down. We turning up like a flight, up like a flight to Chicago. You.
