You And Your Ego pt 1

It can be easy to see  how someone has an ego. Usually it shows itself in an overly confident appearance. For the most part, we would say it's easy to spot.  We would also say that it's easy to tell if WE have an ego. And most of us would feel like we don't. What if I told you that not only do you have an ego, but your ego is causing you obstacles in your life? You don't want to miss this 2 part episode!

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Mastering the Mindset

Speaker 1 0:01

What's up everybody and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset . My name is Darius Dutch and I'm an actor , hip hop artist and fitness and life coach . I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can 1 . Become the best version of yourself mentally and 2 . Gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve . Before we get started , please like and subscribe to my channel at the end of this episode . If you liked it , please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who will benefit from hearing this message . I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you , and that journey begins now . Alright , and welcome back to another episode . Thank you so much for being here . If you listen to me on YouTube , I would appreciate it . If you would like and subscribe , that really , really helps me to reach more people , as well as if you're listening to me via podcast . Please leave me a review . That does the best for me , actually , when it comes to trying to reach more people , and I would greatly appreciate it .

Speaker 1 1:08

Let's go ahead and dive in Now . Before I get started , I want to say this , and I feel like there might be somebody out there who needs to hear me say this Some of you might be showing up in your life right now and you just are not in your groove . Things are not going as good as they could be . Maybe you're in a down cycle , maybe you've had some recent let downs , maybe you're experiencing things that are stagnant in your life , maybe even down to anxiety or depression . I just want to say I want to be the person that reminds you that you're still going to be that person who does something special and that this is only temporary and that you have everything in you right now to make your life great and you can turn it around . Just the way you are , and also what you allow to happen , is only going to continue in your life , but you can't allow , you can't keep allowing those things to happen , and that can be hard to accept . But the things that are happening in our lives we are allowing them to happen , and I know a lot of the hard things happen to us can be coincidental , right , some things are out of your power , but I want to challenge some of that today and I'm also going to challenge you about the fact that you deserve better , but you need to believe that you deserve better in order to turn your life around .

Speaker 1 2:22

And we're going to talk about something that may seem a little ironic to talk about because it might seem or it might not seem connected , but it actually is very connected , and that thing is ego , specifically your ego . So the truth with ego is it's always false . It's always something that raises its head when we're insecure , when we're fearful . If you meet those folks who we would call ego maniacs right , these are the folks with the biggest egos . Those people are the most insecure people out there . They're the most scared , the most fearful and usually the least happy .

Speaker 1 2:57

And what I want to talk about might throw you off , because you may be sitting here thinking that there's no way that you have an ego . I'm so down on earth how the hell could I have an ego ? But it's the people who are down on themselves that actually have their egos materialized and show up more often than they think , than they think , excuse me and it's actually their ego that might be holding them back . And I hear you . How could someone who may have low self-esteem or somebody who doesn't have the best confidence around certain things have an ego . Well , let's talk about it , because the people with high self-esteem they actually don't have the egos . The folks who are the most confident , the genuine kind of confidence , the people who are so confident within themselves , with what they do and who they are , they typically don't have egos . They don't need them . Before I keep going , let me say that I'm talking about this topic , like most of the things I talk about on here , because I struggle with them myself . I don't want you to think that this is something I have all figured out , that this ain't that kind of Podcast . I'm on this journey with you and we're gonna figure it out and grow together , and that's truly what my goal is .

Speaker 1 4:01

But people's ego show up when they're the most scared and a lot of times it shows up when they start achieving . Maybe they get full of themselves and what's really happening in their minds is they're afraid they're gonna fall down . They're afraid they're gonna lose something and they're gonna have to have a . They're gonna have a setback . A lot of times when we see those people like our friends , with that ego , that's what they're doing . It's when they're doing good , like she's so full of herself look at her . She thinks she's so good . She thinks she looks so good . Most of the time she actually doesn't think she look good . She's looking for validation . She's looking for that validation from other people and to us it may seem like she's showing off of Flonting , but in reality she needs people to tell her she looks good because she's insecure .

Speaker 1 4:43

Same thing for men . You see , those men , when they start doing well in life , they start making a lot of money , they buy the fancy car , they start to be all flashy with what they buy and what they wear and when in reality he's afraid he's gonna lose it all , he's afraid that all his success , that he's having , that he's exceeded who he truly is , who he truly is deep down , and his ego shows up because he's afraid . When you see ego , just know that a huge liberty . Usually that a usually means fear and that may sound like it might be a little ironic , but it's true . So let's talk about recognizing when your ego shows up , because once we figure out when it does , we can put ourselves and check and go back to being our regular selves , which is my first point . You can't love yourself without being yourself . You can't love yourself without being yourself . And when your ego shows up , with , not ourselves . When you let go of your ego , you can let your true self in , you can let the false confidence go , and we're gonna talk about some of the really obvious examples of how your ego shows up , and We'll talk about some ways it shows up that may be harder to catch and talk about solutions for both . Well , actually , the solutions is gonna be on the next

Recognizing and Overcoming Ego

Speaker 1 5:51

episode .

Speaker 1 5:51

This is a two-part episode . I had to break this one down so it wouldn't be too long , right ? We're talking examples today , solutions on part two , so let's dive in . So here are some of the obvious ways .

Speaker 1 6:02

First , the first sign is defensiveness . You ever meet that person . Whenever you ask them a question or say something , they just seem to always get defensive . Their ego is showing up . Sometimes . We actually need to respond to criticism with open arms , right , and we get defensive about it . You better believe that's ego rearing its ugly head . Pay attention to yourself around this .

Speaker 1 6:24

The second sign somebody who always has to be right , that person who has to prove that what they're saying is true , all the time in excess . You ever meet that person who always goes out of their way to prove that what they're saying is true . This is because they're afraid that what they say might not be true . This is their ego showing up . They're afraid of being Incompetent mentally , that they're not as smart as who they think they are . And the second part of that one they need to win . In every disagreement , they need to always win an argument .

Speaker 1 6:56

This is an ego issue . It's the idea that if somebody makes a great point or they challenge your point of not being right , that by you having to back off it , that somehow makes you weak . This is insecurity . You don't have to always win a disagreement . It's okay to say I'm sorry , you know what . I was actually wrong , you're right . Admitting that you're sorry and that you're wrong is a sign of confidence and strength , a sign of lack of ego . And I know you know these people . But I want you to honestly ask yourself Is this also you ? It's easy to see things other people , but the real , confident people see these things in themselves . Is this you ?

Speaker 1 7:34

Number three pride and boasting . Constantly bragging and boasting about your achievements , being prideful all of the time and this is a very obvious one , right ? I think I could say I don't have this one . People always tell me how humble I am , that I don't talk about myself a lot , which they're right . I need to have more of an ego than I currently do around this one . I need to be talking up this podcast , talking about my music , my workout business , my editing , my theater career , marketing and advertising . It's needed to have some kind of ego , to have that attitude of , hey , what I got , you need pay for it , right , but that's a positive way . And I get into more of that in part two .

Speaker 1 8:12

So the next one and I know you see this in a lot of people Revenge . Do you seek revenge against other people ? Do you know people who constantly want to get back at people ? Revenge is ego , a hundred percent of the time again , guilty . How many of us have gotten told something like you can't do this , or somebody wronged you or they didn't believe in you , and it could be years later and you still want to prove that person wrong . You want to get your revenge by doing the exact thing , by doing the exact same thing they said you couldn't do , and that's ego why you should be doing it for yourself , not them .

Speaker 1 8:50

The next one Possessiveness . The desire to own someone or control people we don't own people and our desire to control people , to control Situations , is definitely an ego issue . That person who is trying to be possessive of you . They have an ego issue . And again , be honest with yourself . Do you do this if you do know that you are making somebody's life that much harder about wanting to have control of them all the time ?

Speaker 1 9:16

The next one Talking down about somebody or gossiping about folks all the time ? That's ego . It's a major sign of insecurity hand-in-hand insecurity and lack of confidence to go hand-in-hand with ego . Now I was listening to a Ed Mylet who is a successful entrepreneur and life coach and he challenged his class to go a whole day Without talking negatively about another person . And then he took it one step further and challenged them to go a whole day without talking About another person at all . And think about that . Could you do that ? Could you go a whole day without speaking a word about another individual ? And this is definitely true with me . I have my moments .

Speaker 1 9:54

Some of you listening right now have probably had the gossiping conversations with me , so I'm calling myself out now . I will say the majority the time I do it is because I'm annoyed with somebody or somebody does stuff that's just stupid still , and a lot of times we do it when we're around people . Right , it's easy to gossip around gossipers . The true sound of not having an ego , it's a not engage , and that can't be challenging . I'm actually better at that part , at ignoring the gossip . So many times I find myself tuning it out and I be being in my own head , in my own little world in my head , and I pay attention to Something else . That way they can't invite me in that conversation because I'm occupied with something else .

Speaker 1 10:33

Now the next one is another obvious one , but obsession with outward appearance . You ever go to the gym and see that buff ass dude who's always in the mirror posing , checking out his muscle Muscles , or that person who's always looking at themselves in the mirror . Again , I'm good to have this . I have had multiple people tell me that they see me looking to myself in the mirror a lot , that Every time I pass by a mirror I look at it and I never noticed it . And it's not because I'm looking at like , oh , I look so good , right , if I'm honest with myself , it's actually an insecurity . I'm checking to make sure that I do look good or that I don't look bad . I'm worried about my outward appearance to the extent that I'm not even conscious that I check it all the time . Right , ego ? What about that person who's always posting selfies and there's always a filter on it ? It's that constant obsession with what they're looking at . In themselves , these are signs of ego . Is this you the next one ?

Speaker 1 11:27

Bullying 100% Bullying is ego . Only insecure and weak people bully people , and I'm not just talking about Playground bullying , right , people at your job can be a bully . Your boss can't be a bully . I think we've all had that bully boss . They were insecure and I ain't gonna name no names , but I've worked with some bully directors . It makes rehearsal so uncomfortable , but they were just insecure , which is unfortunate for everybody I'm sure you can imagine . So these are some of the obvious ways that your ego may be showing up in your life .

Speaker 1 11:58

Like I said , this is part one . Be sure to listen for part two and if you listen to this when it first came out , part two is on the way , coming in two days , and these are important to recognize and I want to take note of , but to work on them . When you start to get to the root of why you have this kind of behavior , then you'll be able to see what areas in your life need attention , what's insecurities you may have and when you are aware of these , you can work on them and eventually you'll cause yourself to have more Confidence and you'll be showing up in the world and for yourself more uniquely and genuinely and truly yourself . And when you have that confidence , you can go out and create that life you want . Right now I'm not saying that confidence is gonna give you success , but if you have it , you won't get in your own way , and a lot of times we do exactly that to ourselves we get in our own way . So don't let that ego hold you back . So that's what I got for you today .

Speaker 1 12:50

Thank you again for being here Again . Please share , tag me in the post . It helps me with visibility . This is a donation to the podcast . I would love you to make a donation Also . Follow me and like my content on YouTube and leave me a review on your podcast platforms . So that's what I got .

Rainy Day Reflections and Gratitude

Speaker 1 13:11

Let's go ahead and ride out Rainbow is days like this . I just wanna thank God that I ain't y'all , cuz y'all don't know how to do with no rainbow With no rainbow , because I had a rain . Rainbow is days like this . I just wanna thank God that I ain't y'all , cuz y'all don't know how to do with no rainbow . With no rainbow , I had a rain . The sun went behind the clouds . It won't shine . I had a rain on my window pane .

Speaker 1 14:06

I feel the same , that she don't feel the same . I wanna be like me forever . I don't feel ashamed . I never change . I'll always be me . She telling me I'm stubborn . I got a big heart , though . I get it from my mother and you will never find another . I'm just confident . Don't call me conceded .

Speaker 1 14:21

Hope this rain cooled me down because I get overheated . I should just take it easy . Pull one up , cuz I need it . Get some wings and go eat it . Put Netflix on the TV . And Colin Kaepernick just got a brand new deal with Nike . God damn , I just bought some Adidas and if you ever in the jam , you got my number . Nigga Call if you need me . And that's the realest shit I ever wrote , cuz I know these little skies like to get a little cloudy . It rain all day till you need a little yachting . Bet my neighbors hate the weekend Cuz it's a party next door , me and my Migos bumping Kendrick Lamar . You gotta take a chance . Do that for your future .

Speaker 1 14:56

I'm bout to wake a few up . I feel like a rooster , not thinking bout karma . I was screaming fuck the world . Until the world fucked me back . I call that karma sutra , trying to brand myself in . You wanna start a rumor ? I won't even say your name , bitch . Nothing but a loser . My nigga's going beast mode , dope it in the kilo . We some fly Negroes , black superheroes , play some trap music and you see my alter ego . I've been getting ratchet ever since I was a ninjo Take 3 , be the lingo . I don't trust too many people . You never see the real me . That's only if we close . I know you won't need to open up and let you in , but I've been looking through this peephole . Thank God for peepholes .

Speaker 1 15:35

It's a rainy day . I'm stacking up like saving for a rainy day . I eat the cake like anime , watch for the fake . Like anime , I never fabricate nothing . I put my life in the music . So if I pass away , play my album after wake and I knew when dead I have to rain and with my back against the ropes , I turn in the cash to declare Don't like what I have to say . You can go masturbate . You better acclimate to rain . I can validate your pain .

Speaker 1 15:59

I hit rain , I hit rain , I hit rain , I hit rain , I hit rain , I hit rain . I'm in my zone right now . I'm in my zone . Said I'm in my zone right now . I'm in my zone , yeah , shaking demons off me . Get off me , come on . Yeah , let's get it . Rainbow , rainbow . It's days like this . I just want to thank God that I ain't y'all , cause y'all don't know how to deal with no rainbow , with no rainbow , cause I hit rain . Rainbow Rainbow . It's days like this . I just want to thank God that I ain't y'all , cause y'all don't know how to deal with no rainbow , with no rainbow , cause I hit rain .