Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Creating Resilience Through Words
Your words have power. One word, positive or negative, could affect someones entire day. They can inspire motivate, comfort, and heal. They can also cause harm, pain, and damage to ourselves and others. Most importantly, your words determine your future. The way you choose to speak is extremely important. Let's talk about it.
Watch On YouTube
Listen To My Music!
Here's how you can donate:
VENMO
PAYPAL
CASH APP
Need other options? Email me at:
dariusdotch@gmail.com
What's up everybody, and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dutch and I'm an actor, hip hop artist and fitness and life coach. I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can, one, become the best version of yourself mentally and, two, gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. At the end of this episode, if you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who will benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you. And that journey begins now. Alright, and welcome back to another episode. Thank you all so much for being here. If you are watching me on YouTube, please be sure to like and subscribe to my channel. If you're listening to me on a podcast episode, please leave a review. Also, if you like this episode, share me on your social media and make sure you tag me so I can know that you shared it. That is all greatly appreciated. And one last thing this is a donation driven podcast, so, please, I would love any donations that you can make. It helps me keep this thing going. Let's go ahead and jump in.
Speaker 1:So today, let's talk about the power words and talk about the words you yourself use, and also talk about the words other people around you use, because words have so much power and, at the same time, words can also have no power none at all. Words only really have power when you give them power. When you say something to somebody, it can mean everything to them or it can mean absolutely nothing to them. Somebody can walk up to you right now and say something to you they can call you a name or something like that and it can have absolutely no effect on you, not even a little bit. A little person can come up to you and say something random and walk off and you'll be like, huh, that was weird, what was that about? And then go about your day and never think about it again.
Speaker 1:Somebody could also come up to you and say something to you that could trigger you and it could make you mad or hurt you or make yourself conscious. It could trigger you and ruin the rest of your day. Some words have no power over you and some words can have a massive power over you. It could ruin your day. You could be thinking about it for a week later. You could be pissed off for hours and the tough pill we all need to swallow is that the person who says whatever that thing is to you, they aren't the ones that have the effect on your mindset. Whoever that person is other people, your parents, your spouse, your cousin thinks you are a failure. Your friend says something hurtful, whoever it is, they are not the ones that affect our mindset. They don't. They didn't ruin your day, they didn't ruin our mindset.
Speaker 1:What do I mean by that? Let's say that some random person came up to you on the street and said randomly to you Yuck, you got an ugly face and maybe you have an insecurity about something on your face and that could affect you. But let's say that same person, same random man, came up to you on the street and they had on some crazy like cowboy boots and tights and green body paint and a pink wig, and he came up to you and said it in a funny, high-pitched voice Yuck, you got an ugly face. That probably wouldn't have any effect on you. You're going to look at him like he crazy, like what the hell was that you might laugh at it.
Speaker 1:Same words, same exact words were said, but two completely different ways that impacted you. So it ain't the words themselves, it's the meaning you put behind the words and it's also what you think of yourself, and that's the thing that we have to understand. Words only hurt to the degree in which you already believe them. The hard pill to swallow the words that somebody says to you only hurt you to the degree in which you already believe them. If somebody comes up to you and says you're ugly, and you happen to be a person who has really high self-esteem let's say you conceded even and somebody come up to you and say you're ugly, you'll be like yeah, okay, cool, bye, that's your opinion and you will keep it moving. But if you happen to be somebody with really low self-esteem and you're looking in the mirror and you don't like what you see and you do a lot of negative self-talk to yourself, and somebody walks up to you and says you're ugly, and if you believe that already, if you believe that before that person even came into the equation, well then guess what is going to hurt? It's going to affect you to the degree in which you already believe in it.
Speaker 1:Now, a good example I like to use, here's a story about this guy who runs a business and the conversation he has with his mentor. And he's talking with his mentor about his business. And Business is going okay, good, even good to people looking from the outside in. And this guy tells his mentor that he's thinking about just Quitting. He's thinking about just shutting it down. And the reason is because, he says, he gets these emails from folks who buy his product or his service, whatever it is, and he gets emails from Unsatisfied customers saying that this was wrong or that could have been different. Now, mind you, compared to the amount of customers who he was providing the service to, it's a small number, a fraction of the amount in his emails. And he tells his mentor this, like, yeah, I keep getting these emails and then I have to go back and make changes to things or people tell me something didn't work and I just feel like shutting it down. And his mentor, plain and simple, without hesitation, says Well, yeah, cuz you're insecure. He says you're insecure and that's the reason why these emails affect you the way they do, because you're insecure about the business you run.
Speaker 1:You let these things affect you in the way you do because you already believe that your business ain't a good one. And I say this again whatever those things are that trigger us, it's something that we already believe about ourselves. So, when somebody says something that triggers you, is not them, that's the problem, it's you. You are, we are the problem. Now. Could they be being a whole of a person? Of course, whatever that thing they said, if they meant to hurt you with it, of course they are in the wrong right. We're not letting them off the hook, but we are taking some responsibility for the way in which we allow it to impact us.
Speaker 1:If somebody comes up to me on the street and calls me fat, it wouldn't affect me, because I don't see myself as fat. Now, this could hurt somebody who is fat. Or it could hurt somebody who really ain't fat, but they think they're fat. Right, we all know those people. If they already believe they're fat, even when they really not, those words could affect them. And on the flip side, you do have people who are overweight or obese, and they are okay With who they are, no matter how big they are, and you calling them fat, it don't hurt them in the least, and we know those people Think of. If you call Lizzo fat, do you think she's gonna get offended? No, if you were to call Biggie fat, would he be hurt? No, and not just celebrities. You have those friends. We know those people. They don't let the word fat have an effect on them. They've done the work mentally or maybe they have heard the word fat all their lives and you calling them fat won't do anything to them.
Speaker 1:When we get offended by somebody else, by somebody else's words, it's because we already believe it and or we have work to do on ourselves. And this might sound crazy, but being triggered by something somebody says is one of the best things that could happen for you. Being triggered is a gift. If somebody triggers you, you should almost be thankful to them. Obviously not in that moment, but later down the road, once you figure out how to work past that insecurity or that mental flaw that you have about yourself. Them triggering you is showing you where you ain't free. It's showing you the areas you should work on. It's a place where you're stuck. Now, whether that's about yourself, about what you believe, about the world, about the people around you, that trigger is showing you where you are not free, where you're stuck, the area where you're vulnerable, to allow other people to control you based off their words, and that's 100% what we need to change. That's a power we shouldn't want anybody else to have to have, the ability to negatively affect how we feel.
Speaker 1:And the quote I have used on here probably 50 times before, but it's the quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, and the quote is nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, even if you don't realize that you made the decision, even if it's in your subconscious. You decided to give up control of how you feel based on what that person says to you. We can't be out here letting other people control the way we feel, because that's what we're subconsciously doing. We have to be able to take control of our feelings.
Speaker 1:And a man by the name of Victor Franco has a quote, and I've said it before here before, but it sums up this whole episode and a quick summary of who he is. He's a psychologist and he's also a survivor of the Holocaust and he was a prisoner over there in Auschwitz, in the prison camp for three years, and he was already a psychologist before he went in. So his understanding of the way people think and their behavior was different than the average person who would have been there and you would imagine he was able to see both sides of the extremes of humans, right, the people that were in the camp and the folks running the camp. And he has a book out that talks about his experience in there and also about how he was able to mentally survive, how he was able to tap into the way he thought and the way he viewed life, and he talks about his mental journey and finding meaning in life. But the quote he has is perfect for this episode.
Speaker 1:He says between stimulus and response there's a space and in that space is our power to choose our response and in that response lies our freedom. Between stimulus and response. So when something happens to you, before you respond to it there's a space. It can only be a tenth of a second, but in that space is your power to choose your response, our power, and in that response lies our growth and our freedom. So he's saying that no matter what happens to you, you are in control. You are the one in control of how you respond and also how you feel and if you leave that up to other people, then you're not in control. And if we can master that, that response, no matter what somebody says or does to us, it won't matter. You become cool, you have your composure. And I'm not saying that you won't be present in those moments, that somebody going to say something is going to be like you didn't even hear it, or that you won't recognize their actions and words were meant to hurt you or could have hurt you. But as you, being in a place where, no matter what, your inner peace won't be disturbed, you have to be that gatekeeper, the gatekeeper to your happiness.
Speaker 1:And here's another quote from Victor Franco, and it's another good one. He says everything can be taken from a man, but one thing, the last of the human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. Now, if we take a step back out of this quote, this is coming from a man that saw some horrible things. He literally saw every freedom being taken from men and women every day, and yet he still has the mindset that you are able to choose your attitude in any circumstance. That's pretty amazing to me. So notice your triggers, notice, when they happen, what they are so say okay, what just happened? Why is this triggering? Be able to release your attachment to this, release your belief to this, because that's the kind of freedom that's going to allow you to live your best life. And, of course, like I always say, this stuff takes work. You ain't just going to work through it and be all better in a day. No, it's called a trigger for a reason. It's going to take time, but it's something that you have to work on, something that you have to work through. And before I go, I'm going to give you one little small trigger I used to have this is not serious at all, but I'm a cancer and I used to hate when somebody would call me sensitive.
Speaker 1:They'd be like oh, you a cancer? Oh, y'all so sensitive? Okay, so hate is a strong word. I don't hate it, but it always got under my skin and I didn't want to be labeled as sensitive. But somebody would say I was sensitive. I will correlate that to being weak and it took me some time to get past that.
Speaker 1:It did, to work through that that, even though I truly don't think I'm sensitive. One, by allowing this to trigger me, I am being sensitive. And two, I had to be honest with myself and realize that the main reason I didn't want to be labeled as sensitive is because I was called up and feeling like women didn't want a sensitive man, that they wanted the opposite. And I had to come to the realization that if a woman thinks I'm too sensitive, that she can't be with me because I'm too sensitive, well she ain't the one, no way. Two, I know the kind of person I am. I'm a good person. Anybody who knows me will tell you that. And if by sensitive you mean I'm a considerate person and I treat people with respect until they don't treat me with the same, that I expect people to talk and treat me the same way I do, that I won't stand for disrespect, then sure I guess you can call me sensitive.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I have let that go A lot of times. I hear that and not even comment on it, like okay, yep, that's what folks say about cancer. So yep, and I keep it moving. Anyway, that was probably unnecessary for this episode, but there you go. So next time you feel yourself being triggered by somebody else's words, make a mental note of what it is, what was said, what was the situation, what is it about me that is allowing this to be triggering, and once you do that, you'll be able to get to the root of it. And when you get to the root of it, you can work towards that freedom of not letting that hold you back. So that's what I got for you today, man. That's what I got for you today, man. Thank y'all for being here. Please make that donation Also, subscribe to my channel, like, share all of the above. Thank y'all so much, and let's ride out.
Speaker 1:I feel so alive right now. You know Well, you got this frown on your face. It's like, listen, you got to get right with yourself before you can get right with anybody else. That ain't game. Marcus Wilson said that. Uh, I feel so alive. I had to put my little chain on and I felt like getting dressed. So I got fresh. I ain't got no stain on. Uh, they wanna cut my wings and take my halo. They tried to get me. They came close. Police caught me slipping, got my name in the system. Yeah, I be fine.
Speaker 1:I'm an optimist in my prime. Like optimist I feel in the lab. If you ain't feeling my vibe, I don't give a damn. That should be obvious. It's dodgy and it's my night, so I flip the switch and turn on my limelight. I shine bright Like the sun, ruin your eyesight, but I can see clearly now, unfortunately from hindsight. But I'll be alright.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and my bars always cold as ice cream, like what would you do for a clender? All I wanted was an audience. All she wants my free time. She'll understand how hard it is. I'm chasing my dreams, baby, so I gotta put my all in this. You don't need a cardiologist. You can see I put my heart in this. Ain't nobody goin' hard as this.
Speaker 1:I know that when I started this yeah, I pick up this mic, I'm the sickest and I be writing prescriptions. It got me feeling like a pharmacist. I do a big like a torius and I'm down for whatever. Baby. I'm with chicks like a toilet lid you piss me off to get flush. But I feel so alive right now, loving your vibe right now. We look so fly right now, maybe cause I'm high right now. Your body's a blessing. Feel like I'm in heaven. Girl, I just die right now. I dive in your holy water, but I won't drown right now, cause I feel so alive. Yeah, I feel so alive. Yeah, they in my way like TSA, but they will not stop this, cause I'm like a pilot. They mean I'm fly, look at my outfit and suck my cocktail girl.
Speaker 1:I know we both got options. So let's be honest and keep it up front like table of contents. I'm not with the nonsense. I'm not tryna fool you. Baby From Louisiana, better be careful. I got that voodoo.
Speaker 1:Baby, come back to the crib. I don't got cable, but I got hulu. Baby, come Netflix and chill with me. Don't lie, keep it real with me. I can tell you feeling me, throw it at me, I will hit it. And I feel so alive right now.
Speaker 1:I'm so high off life right now. Probably shouldn't drive right now and my nigga just came in town. Yeah, we finna go to it down. Yeah, we finna go at the clown. Don't record me. Put your phone down. A cell phone is an eyewitness. That's snitchin' man. I don't wanna be on Facebook or your Snapchat or your Instagram. I can't let this hit the net, actin' like it's the whimper.
Speaker 1:Then I ain't sayin' I'm innocent, but I am a businessman. I got a innocent, yeah, and I got a drink in my hand right now. I got a finished, yeah, and I got a lot of patience, girl, but I got a limit. Yeah, I got a show em'. I'm not really playin' like I got a screenin'. I never hate the niggas cause I'm not a bigot. They about to want to give day two cents. So guess what? I got a lot of penance. But so what? I'm already winnin'. I pulled you and I get a penit. I make it juicy, you callin' me bigot, but that's later on when I call Uber to take us home, cause, girl, I feel so alive right now, lovin' your vibe right now. We look so fly right now. Maybe cause I'm high right now. Your body's a blessing. Feel like I'm in heaven, girl, I just died. Right now I dive in your holy water, but I won't drown right now, cause I feel so alive. I feel so alive, I feel so alive.