Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
How To Be Happy During Difficult Times
Life has ups and downs. Life throws you curveballs. We all know that. We can do all the hoping and planning we want to, but life will take its course. Eventually we'll have lows in life. The hard and difficult times. It can be a challenge to find any light at the end of the tunnel while we're going through this. I want to help you deal with those emotions, the good and the bad ones, and find peace and happiness in no matter what's going on.
This podcast is 100% donation driven. If you like the content I provide I would truly appreciate any donation you have to offer.
Watch On YouTube
Listen To My Music!
Here's how you can donate:
VENMO
PAYPAL
CASH APP
Need other options? Email me at:
dariusdotch@gmail.com
What's up, everybody, and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dutch and I'm an actor, hip hop artist and fitness and life coach. I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can, one, become the best version of yourself mentally and, two, gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. At the end of this episode, if you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who would benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. Alright, and welcome back to another episode, and I'm so glad y'all are tuning in today. Before we get started, if you are listening on the podcast, like I always say, please leave me a review. If you're watching on YouTube, please like and subscribe. And also, this is a donation driven podcast and all of your donations are greatly appreciated and I thank you in advance. Let's go ahead and get started.
Speaker 1:Today, we're going to talk about a secret. What's that secret? It's a simple secret to help you find happiness in those dark times. And before we get started, let me just say something that is very obvious Life is unpredictable. It's full of ups and downs. Life is going to throw you curveballs. Life gets hard. We can plan things and we hope those plans come true. But if we're honest, how often does it really come true exactly how we planned it in our heads, right, Like that quote says, or phrase, whatever it is it says, when we plan, god laughs. And with those ups and downs, the downs can have the most weight. Right, there's death, there's loss of money, business sadness, heartbreaks, failures, so many different things that can have ups and downs. And when we have those ups, those positive emotions, we want those positive ones to stay there forever. We can be terrified of the downs and subconsciously, even though we know it's not true, we can trick our brains into thinking that this feeling during the lows is permanent, or we're afraid that it will be permanent or last for a really, really long time. But that's not true.
Speaker 1:Life is impermanent. Life and everything about life is impermanent, whatever you look at. If you look out the window, at the trees and the grass, this microphone I'm looking at my laptop, buildings, the house across the street, my own body, all the people you ever meet. It's all impermanent, everything in this world, including our mindsets, including our feelings, including the lows and the highs, and one of the mistakes we all make is we try and control the impermanence of life. The only thing in life that's constant is the fact that life is constantly changing, and we know that right. Changing your mind to be okay with things being the way they are in life, in your body, in your family, in your business, whatever it is, being okay with it being the way it is for this moment, and understanding that it will eventually be gone, is something we need to remind ourselves of. When we feel good, we want it to last forever. When we feel bad, we want it to be over immediately, immediately. But the reality of it is the ups and downs of life. They're not permanent. They never have been and never will be.
Speaker 1:Like I've said on here before, the amount of stress and anxiety you have every day is always going to be in direct proportion to how much you resist the way the world is, how much you resist change and the things you can't change, if you resist the fact that you don't have as much money in your bank account. If you resist the fact that somebody broke up with you, if you resist the fact that you have to put in extra hours to study or prepare for something, if you resist the fact that you didn't have the childhood you wanted, if you resist the fact that you ain't as far in life as you want to be, you will have more stress and more anxiety from it. And we have to remind ourselves that this too shall pass. This too shall pass. And when you're in that really bad place, what we need to be doing is saying, okay, this is bad, yes, but it won't last forever. I wish I wasn't going through this right now. But you know what? This too shall pass. Eventually it will end, thank you, I'm at my lowest right now, but it will not last forever. And yes, I know, easier said than done, right, this don't make it any easier to go through it. I know that, and I'll circle back around to this. But also it's really good to remind yourself of this.
Speaker 1:During these ups, during the good times, during the highs, the moments you enjoy, the good ones, when you're feeling like you're on top of the world, it's important to remind yourself that this too shall pass. This too shall pass. Now, don't do this in a way that you're going to ruin a beautiful moment. Don't think about it in that way. Let's say, your kid has a great game in hockey or soccer or baseball or whatever, and they are just so happy and excited and it makes you feel good to see them happy and you enjoy this moment and you're a proud parent in this moment by thinking this too shall pass. Allow that phrase to keep you more present in the moment that, hey, this moment will be gone. They're going to grow up eventually and they're going to be in their 20s and be off to college and grown and gone. Maybe I should stay present and enjoy and cherish this moment, because it won't last forever. Maybe I should get off my phone. Maybe I should cherish these moments with them after the game and celebrate them and be more present because, again, it will pass, everything will eventually change and act as we go through this all the time or we should do this all the time, especially after the pandemic man.
Speaker 1:The pandemic humbled me, boy, I tell you. I was in a show that I shall not name and in the rehearsal process I was not enjoying it, for reasons that I also will not name. But this happened literally right before the world shut down and we were in the middle of our rehearsal process and I'll never forget. We all got called in the theater and they gave us the news that we're going to pause rehearsal until further notice. And again, this was pre-shut down, so we didn't really know what was going on, what was going to happen. But when I tell you, I was happy, I was so happy to be doing that process. I was literally telling some of my castmates like, hey, I'm out, I ain't coming back, deuces, good luck, I'm gone, they ain't getting me again. Fool me once, can't fool me again. Fool me, can't get fooled again.
Speaker 1:And when I tell you, my butt got humbled, man, that pandemic humbled me. Everything shut down, especially theaters, and our worlds got flipped upside down. I was out of work and starving to get back on stage. And guess what was the first show that was offered to me? That same one. And I ate all that crow yes, I did, with a fork and knife. And I came crawling back and accepted that contract.
Speaker 1:And ever since then my mind has shifted. I'm cherishing all opportunities to be on stage now, even if the process is bumpy or negative, I still love acting, I still love performing, and that can be snatched away from me. I went through stretches over a year, over a year and a half, almost two years not due to the pandemic, not due to the pandemic when I didn't have any shows, which is tough. It's really, really tough to not be on stage. So now I'm cherishing any and all shows or performances I have, because it too shall pass, anyway, okay, so I do have a surprise for y'all at the end of this episode I will be letting you hear another unreleased song. It's called King Kong, and you will be the first to hear it. It's actually not even done yet, but I think it might be my next, but the next single I release and I want you to hear first because I appreciate all of you for being listeners and thank y'all. So that's what I got for you today.
Speaker 1:So today I want to help you deal with those emotions, the good ones and the bad ones, and I want to help you find peace and happiness in no matter what's going on and feelings can be like the weather right Now. I live in Minnesota and here the weather can really be unpredictable from day to day. Damn near. It's in the 60s. One week it's going to drop to the 40s. Next week. It's sunny one day and then windy and cloudy the next. Now I could be mad that I'm wearing jeans and a sweater today, and then next week I'm gonna need a coat.
Speaker 1:I can let that change my happiness, my internal state, or I could just accept the fact that, hey, this weather here is crazy and your emotions in life are just like the weather. You can resist the weather, but it won't change the weather. You can resist your emotions, but it won't change your emotions. All the resistance does is change your internal state, and too many people try and force life to change instead of accepting it. Now, I'm not saying by accepting it that you're okay with it, but you have to accept it in first in order for you to go and change it. Just like in AA, the first thing you have to do is accept the fact that you're an alcoholic. Before you can move forward, you have to come to terms with it first, otherwise you can't move forward Again.
Speaker 1:Life is full of ups and downs. Things can be overwhelming, your emotions can be down, you can be full of anxiety, but things can also be amazing and happy. But everything, all the ups, all the downs, are all temporary. Some things you just can't control. I can't control my stomach if I have a glass of milk. What makes me think I can control the world? We have to accept that there are things we just can't change. But what we can do is change the way we respond. We can control that. We can change our mindset around life, around circumstances, around everything we have or don't have, and we can choose how we want to respond to it.
Speaker 1:And the biggest problem or mistake we make is we resist the negative emotions or issues and we ignore them, we try and numb them. When alcohol or drugs or sex, we procrastinate, we self-sabotage or we do nothing or we do things that will set us back further. We sit and scroll on social media, we suppress, and by suppressing it it only makes our internal state worse. Resisting those emotions only makes them stronger. Sometimes we just have to let go when life gets going in that negative direction. Sometimes we just gotta learn to accept it. And when I say again, when I say accept, I don't mean we have to like the circumstances, but we don't have to let it negatively impact our internal state. We acknowledge it, accept that we can't change it, understand that it's not permanent and then figure out how to get past it. Just like the weather changes, life changes as well.
Speaker 1:When things are going horrible, we feel like it's gonna be horrible forever. When things are going great, we make the mistake and take it for granted, as if it's gonna be great forever and that ain't possible. The ups and downs are inevitable. Remind yourself that this too shall pass. And again, don't let that statement rob your joy, but let it allow you to appreciate it that much more.
Speaker 1:And when you end those moments, those downs, those lows, those moments you wish would just pass right now, ask yourself what can you find that's beautiful in this moment? Where is the beauty that you can find? What can you think about that you know is beneficial for this moment, just like the stupid weather here in Minnesota. Why the weather is really literally stupid Once it finally does truly warm up. We have some of the best springs and summers here. Right, it is really some nice weather. And I can think, okay, this is really gonna help me enjoy this summer. And I do. I really do enjoy the summer. I try and be outside all the time. I'm in a kickball league, a softball league, I have a paddle boat, I have a pass for state parks, we grill, I go to rooftop parties, I try and be out in the sun as much as possible, and when the moments are hard, what can you think about?
Speaker 1:Well, you can think how this moment right here is making you stronger. You can look back in life and reminisce on all the bad times and you can think to yourself damn, I really came a long way. I'm so much better than I used to be. That was hard, but look at me now. We all have those testimonies. Also, you can look at how you can use these times to strategically make you better, because before, back, when you were in those moments, those low moments and those hard times, time was the thing that healed you. Time was the thing that made you stronger.
Speaker 1:What if you take this moment right now to make it a point to work on yourself, knowing that this too shall pass, and if you work on yourself and your mindset and you better yourself? Imagine the kind of person you're gonna become because of this moment, because of the bad times, and that's beautiful. When you go through those bad times, take those deep breaths, change your emotional state. Focus on gratitude, shift your focus from what you don't want to what you do have. Also, don't stray away from connecting with other people the right people, of course. Don't go through this alone. Who makes you feel good? And practice acceptance. You don't have to enjoy this moment, you don't have to be okay with it, but you can't accept it in order to get past it, because if you do, you'll be able to be present in the moments of the highest of highs, and those moments will be that much more amazing for you, and your emotions again are like the weather, and this too shall pass.
Speaker 1:So that's what I got for you today, man, thank you all so much for being here. I truly appreciate each and every last one of you. I really really do. Before we get to this new music I'm gonna let y'all listen to, let me just say again please make a donation. Donations truly help me keep this thing going and like and subscribe on YouTube and leave me a review on your podcast platforms. And here we go another unreleased song just for you, because I value all of you and you will always be the people to hear what I have first. So thank you, let's get it in and enjoy this new music. Oh, before I play it, it is really new, so new that it's actually not done. I'm waiting on the guy who I sent it off to to finish mixing and mastering it for me to send me back the final version. So this is kind of a I guess a rough draft, you may say, but you get the picture. It's still good and I still love this song and this, I think, will be my next single. So I'm gonna test it out with y'all first. So here we go, enjoy, I'm out.
Speaker 1:I've been a mess. Do I get stressed, nick? Yes, it's been. You chase success. It's out of fix Blank. That bop, bop Don't always connect and I talk to myself Like, okay, bet, like they forgot who the fuck I am. I reflect, Don't make me beat my chance. King Kong in the flesh, I don't give a ness. You only get one life, the real best. No regrets, don't be gris, and I ain't come to play. No recess, don't need rest, only checks. Blood, tears and sweat Determine what you get. I'm determined to get success.
Speaker 1:I'm taught what you expect. It's got you King Kong in the flesh, cause they know I'm obese, not a pet, more like a vet, like my chicks. Now please don't get too bugging me. Please don't make a pest. I'm too focused. I've been hungry Like I'm from Budapest. Corona came in, never so ugly For the whole country. I social myself and I made a discovery. I've been living on Skull Island this whole time. I'm blessed King Kong in the flesh, cause they know I'm obese, not a pet. Don't try to pet. I'm not your mate. I'm taught what you expect. King Kong in the flesh. Don't make me have to flex, beat my chance. Okay, bet, say less.
Speaker 1:I'm taught what you expect. I'm not in the nest. I'm too fly. I left. This ain't music. This shit is love to me. It's like a drug to me.
Speaker 1:If you really feeling it, let me know. You fuck with me. Keep it a bug with me. Walk to my step. I nash it with a club to me. Now people look up to me. First time I heard it it really stuck to me Like I'm under a desk and I don't see no test.
Speaker 1:With this pen and this pad, everything I'm writing be correct. They can say whatever they want, but they gotta give me respect. People love to see you down. I don't let it get me upset. I don't care if you talk down. Go ahead, get it off of your chest. Hope you hate. I just treat it like a plus one. Beat, my guess Y'all gonna make me drop my nuts and really start talking my shit. Everything I touch on fire, yeah, and you act it like I ain't lit. Set the bars tall as the empires. Stay back before I slip. If they gotta shoot me down, well then better break the whole clip and I fall to my death and I can rest. Uh, king Kong and the Flesh, cause they know I'm a beast, not a pet, don't try to pet, I'm not gonna commit, I'm not gonna do it Snake. Uh, king Kong and the Flesh, don't make me have to flex. Beat my chest, okay, bet I'm not gonna hurt, but you it. I'm not gonna do it, cause baby. Oh, oh, oh, oh.