Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Thriving Through the Overwhelm
Have you been feeling overwhelmed on your journey? Many times we can reach our mental capacity when it comes to going after goals and dreams. This is normal and should be expected. HOWEVER, it does need to be addressed. Let's talk about it and find ways to better equip ourselves to be ready and prepared for those seasons of overwhelm. It can be overcame. Let me tell you how!
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What's up everybody, and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dodge and I'm an actor, hip-hop artist and fitness and life coach. I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can, one, become the best version of yourself mentally and, two, gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. And at the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. And at the end of this episode, if you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who would benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. All right, and welcome back to another episode. Like I always say, thank you for being here. If you are watching on YouTube, please like and subscribe to my channel. If you are listening to me on a podcast platform, please leave a review and also make a donation. All these things are greatly appreciated for one, but it really helps me to keep this thing going.
Speaker 1:Well, let's jump right in today. Let's talk about overwhelm, about those seasons and maybe it's a season that you're in right now when you're really being stretched and it feels uncomfortable and you got a lot on your plate and the boundaries of which of your capacity is being tested. People like you care how you show up in the world. People like you got goals and dreams and visions and things you want to do, and it's important to recognize that in those seasons of overwhelm, reaching your maximum capacity and stretching are going to happen so many times and we've got to figure out how to navigate that. So let's dive right in. So, being overwhelmed, it happens, right, going after goals, it's inevitable. So first thing to do is understand how actually normal it is, because what happens is we have these seasons where things start happening to us and we feel like we might not have the capacity to handle something, and we have those moments where we start to question ourselves and question our ability.
Speaker 1:It can be real easy to look around at everybody else's carefully curated content on social media and tell ourselves a story that just ain't true, the story that they have something that we don't, or that they have, or that we have the struggles and they don't have struggles. You can't compare yourself, compare what you got going on to what other folks have going on. Right, what you're seeing is the edited version of their lives, the best of the best that they choose to show the Internet. They have struggles too. We got to come to terms with the idea that, with the idea, and understand that all those folks that we either look up to or who accomplish something that we want to accomplish or showing up in the world, showing up in the world in a way we want to show up, we have to realize that they all experience these stretch seasons, the overwhelming moments where they reach their level of full capacity, where they get overwhelmed Because it's not a matter of if but a matter of when, because this will happen to you of if, but a matter of when, because this will happen to you.
Speaker 1:And maybe, like I said, it's happening to you right now. And you clicked on the title of this episode because you're like, yes, jesus, fix it. I'm in over my head right now. I need this episode. Or maybe you're being proactive and you're like you know what, let me listen in, because it is part of the journey Feeling overwhelmed. It's going to happen at some point.
Speaker 1:But yes, failing and struggling and setbacks and overwhelm these are requirements in order for you to reach success, for you to get to where you want to go, and the best thing to do while you're down there is to learn. Learn as much as you can about yourself, about how you got there, how to get back up. Add all of this to your toolbox, because these are the things that's going to qualify you in the future. It's going to qualify you for that future success. It's going to qualify you having that feeling of knowing that you are a stronger person, that those struggles are the reason I have this confidence and I feel like I can get through anything. It's going to qualify you being able to open those doors for success for yourself.
Speaker 1:But to get there, we got to understand that these seasons of overwhelm are going to happen and also understand that different seasons come with different thresholds of what we can actually handle, of how much stress we can handle, how much can be on our plate, how much we can push ourselves to our limits. And I know that's something that we understand mentally, cognitively, but it might not always be something at the front of our minds, or maybe we just sometimes forget, because the reality of it is we can't compare ourselves to our prior selves when it comes to how much we can handle and I know I talk about comparing our old versions of ourselves to our current version of ourselves and wanting to be better and having growth and all that. That's not what I mean. What I'm talking about is how much we can handle depending on what season we're in.
Speaker 1:For example, I could handle a lot more when I first started my workout program than I can right now. Why? Well, I was just starting out. I had that uninformed optimism. I was super motivated, it was fresh, it was new. I only saw the positive things in my mind when I thought about my goal and what I wanted to do. And I was working my ass off. I still do, but I could do way more. It was the most frictionless season of me waking up early, sometimes before my alarm at 630 in the morning, and getting up and putting in work, recording and editing and making marketing stuff, promoting myself, putting myself in front of the camera. I was on it, I was locked in and I built it. Eventually, everybody knew oh, darius started his own workout program.
Speaker 1:Fast forward to now I can still do a lot, but my threshold is different when it comes to my workout program because I'm in a different season. Now I have a podcast and I've learned so much more about editing, learned a lot about what works and doesn't work when it comes to how I train folks, you know, in person, versus virtually. Now I've been focusing a lot more on my music and all the time and effort that that takes. Plus, by that time I'd had won a grant for my music and I was able to upgrade my home studio. And so I've been on a learning curve with learning how to mix and master and produce with professional equipment and software. And I'm editing way more now, right, different types of content, not just workout stuff and switching from one thing to the next.
Speaker 1:My sound like it's easy, but it really ain't that simple. A lot of times to go from one thing to the next, my brain gets tired and maintaining all those things I got going on. Now, right, my overwhelm threshold is a lot smaller. I'm in a different season. I get overwhelmed way easier now. So, even though I'm doing way more, it takes way less for me to feel overwhelmed, and I know from the outside, looking in, that might sound like it couldn't be true, but it is. There are a lot of days when I need my daily plan. I'll write down my plan for the day and I just focus on that. I just focus on what the tasks are that I wrote down, because sometimes there can be so many things, so many steps, so much that you get paralysis by analysis and end up doing nothing or really really struggling. So I lean heavy on my daily plan. That way I don't have to think I got things I need to check off and get done and that's what I do.
Speaker 1:And maybe you're in a season right now where your threshold for overwhelm has changed. Maybe for you, let's say, you got pregnant and had a kid, your threshold was different. Or during the winter you don't get as much done, specifically if you live in Minnesota, when in the middle of the wintertime it get dark at 6 pm, it can be hard. The sun gives us so much Right. Or maybe you were going through a breakup or divorce. Or maybe you just start in your journey of working on yourself and self-development and you didn't get overwhelmed back then because now we didn't. You didn't get overwhelmed back then, but you do now because you learn so many things. There's so much more that you know, right, different seasons, and I want you to recognize that, if you're in a state of overwhelm right now, that there is something you can do about it. And there's this quote that I love. It's simple, but I love it. The quote is I am what I think I am. I am what I think I am now.
Speaker 1:Obviously, there's limitations when it comes to the actual realism of that. Right, I can't say I'm Batman, I am rich. Right, it's more about your state Right and your thoughts and how your brain looks for confirmation for whatever beliefs you have about yourself and your circumstances to be true. For example, if you say statements specifically I am statements like I am overwhelmed, I am stressed, I'm not able to do this, I'm not the person who can do this, right, and we do this, we've all done this. This gives our brain an opportunity that it will take to look for evidence to confirm all those negative things, all those limiting statements that we make. It'll show you ways in which they are true, and you just may be.
Speaker 1:In reality, you may actually just be overwhelmed. That could really be true, but are you overwhelmed and it's just impossible to do, or could it be that you're just at your capacity and we attach a negative emotion to the word overwhelm? Right, anxiousness, stress, right. Nobody want to feel overwhelmed. So maybe we should shift the way we think of it and think of it in terms of capacity. So, okay, I'm at my capacity. That could be for this season, for this task, for this day, I'm at my capacity.
Speaker 1:And if we think about it in terms of a cup of water, right, and your cup is full all the way to the top, ok, and by full cup I'm not talking about it in a positive sense, right, like filling your cup up and being able to pour into somebody else's cup, not that kind, the negative kind. So imagine that full cup and you can't put any more into this cup. It's at its maximum capacity. No more can go in. You are stressed, overwhelmed, anxious. Nothing else can fit in this cup. Now the next question you should ask yourself is what are some things you can take off your plate out of that cup? What are some things you're worried about? What are the things that I need to make a decision about? And sometimes we can create the overwhelm our own damn selves right, we can get comfortable and procrastinate on things that we should be doing, things that in reality, if you just focus, won't really take that long.
Speaker 1:And the easy example of this is keeping your room clean. You can feel like you're too busy, or you come home for work and you just want to sit down and you don't want to. You don't feel like folding laundry right now. Or you wake up and you know you're just about to leave and come home and get right back into bed after work. So you don't make the bed, and we know keeping your room clean is not rocket science. If you just put things away as you take them off, as they, as you take them out of place, your room will stay clean. If you just fold the laundry and put it away as soon as it come out of the dryer. If you take off your work clothes, you hang them up or put them in dirty clothes. If you eat or drink something and after you're done you go straight to the kitchen and wash that cup or dish. If you just make the bed as soon as you get out of bed in the morning or make it part of you getting ready for work for the day, the room will stay clean of work for the day the room will stay clean, and these are things that all take five minutes or less. But when you let it pile up, you can look around your room and get overwhelmed.
Speaker 1:When it's time to clean that pig style you sleeping in Yep, I'm talking about you Go clean your room. Hopefully you needed to hear that. Go make your bed and maybe you got a bunch of emails that have been piling up and you need to respond to. Most emails take a few minutes, a few seconds for a lot of them to respond to. I can't stress enough the five minute or less rule.
Speaker 1:If something come up, something that only is going to take five minutes or less, just do it right now. Do it now. It ain't going to take long. Get it out of the way because you're going to end up procrastinating or forgetting about it. Do it and now frees up time down the road. Sometimes that can be it.
Speaker 1:Sometimes just doing things when they come up, those things that if you just go, get done, if you just do it now, if you don't wait, it'll give you more space for your cup. Are there things that you should just do right now and get done? Are there things you got to stop procrastinating on moving forward. And also, are there things that just that you just need to accept that won't get done in this season, with where your capacity is at right now, because at the end of the day, your body tells you right, Are you listening to your body? Your body knows when you're at capacity and if you don't listen, you better believe your body going to get real stubborn and start pouting. You're going to get sick, you go burn out. Your body will say, all right, man, enough is enough. Right, sometimes, the things you get worried about and stressed about, if you think about it and say, ok, do I actually need to be doing this right now? Can that thing wait? Can that thing wait for another season? Does it have to be done with everything else? And waiting doesn't mean it's a no, that you won't do it, maybe it's just it's not the right time for this.
Speaker 1:Sometimes all things can't be at the same time, and guess who needs to hear that one? Like I always say, I'm on a journey with y'all. I got to remind myself that I actually can't do everything. Even when I can do everything, I can't do everything, and one of the things that I've been putting on the back burner is my workout program. I had to recognize my own capacity. I'm doing all kinds of stuff. I had to come to the realization or, better yet, I had to allow myself to be okay with not putting out as much energy and effort into that right now. Now, that doesn't mean that I won't continue to try and grow it, it just means that my body kept telling me every time and I will burn out. But my body would tell me you're doing too much, this can wait. And I had to get over feeling that guilt because I did. I was feeling guilty.
Speaker 1:So maybe you're in a season right now where your cup is full and you're feeling like you want to do this or that or you ain't doing all the things you want to do. Right. Maybe sometimes some things have to take the back burner in this season. And also maybe it can be a season where you have capacity, where you just started something new and you've been working at it and learning, and maybe it's hard or scary, and you get to a point where you've been putting in all this work and figuring it out as you go, figuring it out as you go, slow down, dutch, and you get to a point where you're overwhelmed because you don't know what to do next and you hit a wall like, oh my God, how can I handle this? I barely know how I'm hanging on. It's all so new, maybe it's too confusing you feeling like you're not capable. You feel like you just lost.
Speaker 1:And the thing is and we've all been there when it comes to what I'm about to say next, we've been in a position to reflect on things that we did, that when we started, we pushed ourselves through and we were in the exact same place mentally. And we look back and remember of having that feeling of I don't know how I'm going to get through this. And you did. You got through it, you made it through. And not only did you make it through, but you learned a lot. And if you had to go through it again, you will be way more prepared for it.
Speaker 1:And what we need to start doing is, in the present moment, is understand that these are the moments that are going to ground us like roots. You're going to grow those roots down to be able to grow upwards. These are the moments that will teach you, that give you the experience. These moments, once you get to the other side of it are going to help you build confidence that, hey, I got through it last time, I can figure it out this time. These moments are necessary and the last version of overwhelm you might be going through and maybe you realize it.
Speaker 1:But if you have a lot on your plate, a lot in your cup and you're doing a lot and you feel the stretch, it could be because you're reaching a point where you're growing to that next level, where you're breaking through, it gets the hardest when you're about to have a breakthrough, when you're about to break that ceiling, going to that next level. Sometimes we know it, sometimes we can understand it's happening, other times we don't. Easiest example is college and final exams studying for those finals, writing those 15 page papers that feels overwhelming, but it's literally grounding you for that next level. And maybe you work on a specific project and it's a hell of a lot of work, but once you get done it's going to take you up. Is this that kind of season? And again, when you get to that next level, you're going to look back and you're going to see that you were growing those roots down, building that foundation.
Speaker 1:So you may be overwhelmed or at your maximum capacity, but that don't mean that you're not capable. It doesn't mean that is not normal and it don't mean that you won't make it to the next level. Do you need to take some things out of your cup? Do you need to give yourself grace and put things aside for another season? Are you experiencing a breakthrough? Replace overwhelm with capacity and look at it differently.
Speaker 1:Overwhelm brings anxiety right. Overwhelm brings on stress. Thinking about your capacity can help you understand exactly what's going on in this season for you. What does reaching your maximum capacity do for you? What does it mean for you? What can it teach you? Maybe it's time to realign or ask for help, or what to let go, how to say no or how to slow down or how not to procrastinate.
Speaker 1:Let's refrain our perspective. Right, and I know this stuff is real. Feeling that mental overload is real, and by no means am I trying to downplay that is real. My point is we can't just feel it and not figure out what to do about it, because I know you, but this will not be the last time that you feel overwhelmed. So let's grow from it, and that starts by shifting the way you think about it and how you handle it. So that's all I got for you today. Thank you for being here again. Like and subscribe on YouTube If you're watching, if you listen on a podcast platform, go ahead and leave me a review, positive or negative. Be be honest about what you got to say about me, uh, and also leave a donation, uh. That really helps me keep this thing going. But let's go ahead and ride out. The next song for y'all that I'm going to give you today is going to be let me think, lean on me. All right, let's mad out, we'll see right back.
Speaker 1:I make them hoes sweat like Zumbas. I mean them bitches. I mean them women. I mean I'm tripping. I mean I'm sipping. I already had two cups. Whatever path to choose to run Whether running them streets or running them business meetings Better lay your shoes up and put a button that suit up. If you was the epiphone, catch a bad break. Man, you can lean on me like a new crutch G-double-O-D. We'll be right back. When it goes down like quicksand, you can lean on me. Put everything on me. Sometimes you gotta lean in. I'm the one you can't beat. I know you gon' be straight. Hold your head and lean strong and lean on me. Can I lean on you.
Speaker 1:I heard my cousin say what's up? He came through with the blood. We talked about dreams. He said why not you? He said do it for the fam, do it for your blood, like I'm Pairoo. And this chicky here tried to pull me down. But I'm too fly boo. This is what the fuck I do. Still got a bird's eye view. But who can you trust when people try to throw you under the bus? I just want a window seat, me and a recub. I do. I know they want me.
Speaker 1:Outro, music Deja vu. This ain't familiar. Looking at me like I'm in your mirror. Looking at you like I need your liver, damn dog, why you being so bitter? Mind your own, I'll be in your business and the world keep turning. The world keep on spinning. My team good, we keep on winning them.
Speaker 1:Police gon' keep on killing. It's amazing how we keep on living, telling me opportunity knocks. Where I'm from is ding dong ditching and we can't breathe. But they ain't gon'. You can take a double styrofoam cup and put it all over my shirt. So in other words, you can lean on me, put everything on me. Sometimes you gotta lean in. I'm the one you can lean on. I know you gon' be straight, hold your head in, be strong and lean on me. Can I lean on you? Yeah, sometimes you gotta lean in. I'm the one you can lean on. I know you gon' be straight, hold your head and be strong and lean on me. Can I lean on you? Oh, oh, oh, oh, lean on me, oh, lean on me, oh, oh, oh, oh, lean on me you.