Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Living Your Best Life Offline
Imagine constantly feeling inadequate because everyone else's life online looks perfect. We've all been there, but what if we could break free from this toxic comparison trap? Join me as I share my own battles with the relentless pressure of social media and how it's so easy to lose sight of our own value. Remember; the curated snapshots we see on Instagram or Facebook are often just highlights, not the full story. I'll guide you on ways to appreciate your unique journey and regain your self-worth.
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What's up everybody and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dodge and I'm an actor, hip-hop artist and fitness and life coach. I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can, one, become the best version of yourself mentally and, two, gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. And at the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel. And at the end of this episode, if you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who would benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. All right and welcome back to another episode. Like I always say, thank you for being here. If you are watching me on YouTube, please be sure to like and subscribe to my channel. If you're listening on a podcast episode, a podcast platform, please be sure to leave me a review and make a donation. All of these things are greatly appreciated and also help me keep this thing going. So I'm glad you're here today and I know I say this all the time, but I think this is a really important episode, and I do Each time I say it, I mean it, and here we are again, and I think this one is a really good one for you to hear. It's going to be a little motivation for you, a little pep talk.
Speaker 1:But today let's talk about how to stop comparing yourself to other people and how comparing yourself to other people is actually killing your joy. Now, look, we all live in a world where we can see damn near everything somebody is doing at all times, and because we can, we start to compare, and I don't know about you, but I see it all the time. I see it happening everywhere. Somebody out there is comparing their body to somebody they started working out five weeks ago and the person they compare themselves to been working out for five years. Or somebody will compare their business and how much success they have or don't have when they only been running it for three weeks, and the person they compare themselves to been running a business for a decade. People compare their clothing and how this person has nice clothes and nice jewelry compared to what you have on. They compare how their friends go on trips and vacations and they imagine how much money they must be making. And they look at their own lives and feel like they don't live up to that. They look at people's relationships. They see how happy other people look and how it's so good to be in a relationship. Maybe they compare their own relationship to that and they think that how the one the other folks have looks way better than the one they have, right? Or maybe they're single, and then compare the happiness and joy of actually being in a relationship to not having one. And the list goes on and on and on.
Speaker 1:If you spend enough time on social media, I bet you compare yourself to other people. We do it, we just do it. I'll be the first one to tell you that I've followed this from time to time myself. And comparison by itself it ain't necessarily a bad thing, right, like the actual simple, broken down form of comparing. Comparing like, let's say, if you cross in the street, you compare how far you have to walk to get to the other side, and compare how fast a car is coming to determine if you can make any time. You compare how much food is on your plate compared to the size of your stomach and your appetite, and you make a choice not to put any more food on your plate. Comparison by itself can be a useful tool, but it's when we compare ourselves to other people and we place less value on ourselves, on what we have and what we don't have. That's the problem, especially if you're looking at somebody on Instagram or social media and you see the success and the loving family photos and the vacations and the money and the pure happiness, because what they are showing you is the highlights, not the lowlights.
Speaker 1:Even with me, I post a lot.
Speaker 1:I have to. I have to promote myself. I have to constantly bring awareness to all the things I got going on, because if I didn't, you better believe with how much content the average person consumes on a daily basis I could get lost in the scrolling very easily. People's attention span is so short these days, so if I don't post often, people wouldn't know what I got going on, and I found that out the hard way. Right, I can post about a song I release 20 times and I still would have folks who are close friends of mine who either didn't hear it or didn't even see any of those posts I made or just didn't get around to hearing it for whatever reason Well, not whatever reason. They distracted. Now it wasn't until I learned this stat that it all clicked for me. So check this that, check this, that out. It takes a person, on average, 30 times for them to see something on social media before they engage with it 30 times. So I have to think of it that way. Right, I have to post something 30 times before somebody would click on it to bring that awareness.
Speaker 1:So, needless to say, I post a lot, I need to post a lot, and because I post a lot, I'm getting really good with my editing and good at marketing and in the back of my mind, because I'm only putting out the best edited material. I can think of folks who might be noticing how my marketing visually looks good, but what they don't see is the years it took me to get that good. Because when I first started, man, I look back at some of the things I used to post and it's so cringeworthy to me, so cringeworthy. The reason I started off editing my own videos in the first place was to promote my music, because I couldn't afford to pay somebody to do it. So I did it myself and thank God I did, and that really kind of forced me to hone in on the skill. Anyway, my point is I do it too. I'm one of the ones that only put out the highlights. So if you follow me on social media and you see my content, just know that I've been doing this for years. If you follow me on social media and you see my content, just know that I've been doing this for years. I've made thousands of pieces of content.
Speaker 1:So please don't compare a post that you make to what I make. Not saying because I think I'm so much better than you at posting, but because if you haven't been doing it for years and you ain't made thousands of pieces of content, then it ain't fair to compare yourself to somebody who has Same thing with that person, who only been working out for five weeks. It ain't fair to compare yourself to somebody who's been working out for a decade. And one of my favorite phrases I use on here a lot is don't compare your chapter one to somebody else's chapter 20. So if I'm looking at my podcast, I'm not even at 300 episodes yet. I can't compare that to somebody who's made 6000 podcast episodes. That ain't fair. If you just started selling your clothing or whatever services you sell for your business, you can't compare where you are now, newly starting out, to somebody who's been owning the business for over a decade. Knock that off. That ain't fair.
Speaker 1:Another quote I like it goes along with the first quote is you'll never be a graceful master until you first become a foolish beginner. You'll never be a graceful master until, at first, you become a foolish beginner. Is there a good chance you're going to look foolish in the beginning? When you first start something, yep, you will. We look like you've been doing it for 10 years. When you first start, nope, nope, you won't.
Speaker 1:Now, unfortunately, most folks are too afraid to go through the foolish beginner stage. Or what they do is they do it for a week or a month and they get discouraged when they realize they aren't mastering it. They realize that they're not as good as it as they want to be and they put it to the back burner. They run that new business for two months and they feel like they haven't made enough money yet. They go to the gym for two months and get discouraged that they don't see any progress. Yet. They take piano lessons and they think they should be able to play great and they compare themselves to folks who be doing it for way longer than they have and they allow that to justify them quitting because they're not an expert. I mean, what they should be doing is taking it one step at a time and saying, hey, I'm only going to compare myself to myself and try and do better than I did last week, try and string days and weeks together of me doing this, because a week ago I wasn't doing any of this. But hey, now I put in three days in a row, or I've been going steady with this for a whole two weeks. Eventually I'll get to where those people are.
Speaker 1:Just because you ain't good at that thing right now, it doesn't mean that you will never get good at it. Comparing yourself to people's chapter 20 is not going to give you the motivation to take the action you need in order to create that life you want. Compare yourself to you. Are you better than you were yesterday? Do you have more knowledge? Are you taking more steps? Are you in a better position? Do you have more progress than last week? Are you getting better? Not. Am I where they are? That's not what you should be doing.
Speaker 1:And the funny part about it is we already know this. We know this from life experiences. We can all look back at life. And let's say, look back at our 20s and how naive we were back then. We thought we had things figured out, we had the pep in our step when it came to making decisions and going after things. We just knew life was going to look exactly how we wanted it to look by the time we got to our 30s. Right and looking back, the reason we were so naive is because we didn't know any better. But over time you learn, you gain knowledge, wisdom, you make better decisions, you mature, you understand life better and just like you can look back and say, damn, I was a fool in my 20s. Same thing with going after that goal you're working on right now. If you keep working at it and putting in the work and being consistent, you will look back at your growth and see how far you've came, see how much better at it you got. Of course, those people at chapter 20 are further along than you are. It's chapter 20.
Speaker 1:You can't compare yourself to that, because when you compare you don't feel better, you feel worse when you compare yourself to other people or to where you think you should be. It's going to put you in the wrong mental space and that ain't going to help you in a positive way. Comparison brings on the feeling of lack, that feeling of I don't have enough, I don't have as much, I didn't get as far. And if you ain't careful, that can bring up feelings of resentment and jealousy. And that's not the energy you want. That energy doesn't attract. It pushes away those things you want, not pull them towards you. What we should be doing is understanding that we have our own lane, our own path. Our journey is not going to be the same as anybody else's. It just won't. And by looking at where they are and where you're not, you're robbing yourself of celebrating how far you've came. And again, that negative energy doesn't attract. You should be happy for that person and congratulating them and all the while, working on yourself.
Speaker 1:And which energy do you think is going to be the better energy? Which energy is going to bring the things you want in life? Being resentful, comparing yourself in a negative way to other people, being mad that they have the things you don't, that they're in places you wish you were, or you being genuinely happy and seeing that person win you, congratulating them and cheering them on and focusing on your own path and improving it. Which energy do you think will attract what you want? And you already know the answer. You have to realize things just take time. One foot in front of the other. Things are going to happen as things happen. One foot in front of the other. Things are going to happen as things happen.
Speaker 1:Allow yourself to release that restrictive energy of needing to see all these large strides and progress right now, because goals take three things right they take direction, they take action and they take time. Are you headed in the right direction? Are you taking action and are you allowing time to do its thing? Are you patient? Are you taking steps and are you allowing time to do his thing? Are you patient? Are you taking steps towards your goal? Are you headed in the right direction that you're supposed to be going in, and are you letting time take his course? Take his course course. Your own path is your own path. It's your own race. Do it for you.
Speaker 1:So that's what I got for you today. Like I said, this is kind of a more of a pep talk than anything, but thank y'all for being here again. Please like and subscribe to my channel if you're on the podcast platform, leave a review and leave a donation for me. All these things greatly help me keep this going for y'all and for myself. And let's ride out. Today, the song is going to be flight to chicago, because I got a flight to Chicago coming up, which I'm excited about.
Speaker 2:All right, let's ride out Counting my blessings.
Speaker 1:I promise to help with the stress and reflecting. But I got a show in Chicago, just boarded a plane. The TSA agent just told me good luck. They'll never say that I don't work the hardest. The scholars, my witness. I made it a promise to me that if they don't fear me, I make sure they hear me and that's why I'm turning shit up, ay up like Delta up like Jumpman logos.
Speaker 1:I'm out to a hug. Ayy, I need to be doing it big. I don't do it standard, I do it deluxe Pose of a picture, something open at night. I damn near put out a tux. I'm hoping they watching, but not cause I'm cocky. I want them to see me and how I ain't stopping. If you wanna keep up with me, you better be home. Real, you gon' be eating my dust.
Speaker 2:Up like Rodman, up like turning up, up like a flight, up like a flight, Up like a flight. I'm turning up like a flight, I touch down. We turning up like a flight Up like a flight to Chicago. Yeah, I took a flight to Chicago. Yes, I like Chicago.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, I think we might have a problem because we some bears and you tryna talk to me like we some cubs. Over the year I put in my blood and my sweat and my tears. It probably can fill up the whole Navy Pier. I'm keeping my head above water even though shit was a flood.
Speaker 2:I'm like the big leagues 05 for a series. I'm pulling my white socks up. Ayy A black nosebleeds at Wrigley's. She let me hit a home run.
Speaker 1:Ayy I I promise to hold my liquor but I can't promise to hold my tongue. But I'm in Chicago for work. I'm too focused I don't have the time to have fun. I'm in the city with niggas. Be flexing and pull out the guns. That's not a con Taking it high. You ain't want to get high as I possibly can. I'm not talking blunts. They know I'm taking it serious and that's on period, Like it's the time of the month. Don't act like I turned my back.
Speaker 2:I can't help it that I'm in the front Up like a flight Up like a flight Up like a flight I'm turning up like a flight I touch down. We turning up like a flight Up, like a flight to Chicago. Thank you.