Mastering the Mindset

Finding Strength in Your Ego's Power

Darius Dotch

So...you have an ego...you do. We all do. Ever thought that ego could be more than just a villain in your self-growth story? There is a potential for good. Embracing your desires for success, financial stability, and reaching your goals can be a powerful motivator for not just personal achievements but also for inspiring others.

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Speaker 1:

What's up everybody and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dodge and I'm an actor, hip hop artist and fitness and life coach, and I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can one become the best version of yourself mentally, and to gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel and at the end of this episode, if you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who would benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. All right, welcome back to another episode. Thank you all for being here. If you are on YouTube, please go ahead and like and subscribe. If you are listening to me on the podcast platform, please leave a review and, most importantly, make a donation. All these things are greatly appreciated and it helps me keep this thing going for y'all. But let's jump in.

Speaker 1:

Today won't be long. It's going to be kind of short and sweet, I think. We'll see, I guess, but today we're going to be talking about how to use your ego for good. Now, when you hear the word ego, it has a bad connotation, and rightfully so. It's always been that way. We always hear how ego can be destructive or something that you should stray away from, like, oh his ego too big, or that was her ego taking over, or damn, you got a big ego, don't you? It seems like a negative psychological side effect that we have right, but let's look at it from a different angle, a different point of view. What if we can use our ego for good? Is it possible that we could use it in a positive way instead of it being negative and destructive? What if we could use it in a positive and constructive way? And we're going to talk about some examples of how that's possible. And also, what if it was true that our egos and yes, we all have one, even though you might not believe you do, it does not be showing. It just might not be showing up the way you realize it does. But what if our egos never actually go away? What if you can learn for however much time you have on this earth with a healthy, sane mind? What if you learned how to work with your ego, because I don't think it's really ever going to go away, and I'll explain what I mean by that in a second. But your ego is actually part of your psychological makeup. Psychologists will tell you that this is part of your psychological makeup, so how can we accept it and use it to our advantage for good? So let's dive in.

Speaker 1:

So first I use myself as an example, myself and this podcast. The reason I started this podcast, which I say all the time, is because of the pandemic. To sum it up briefly, I was in a bad mental space, one that we all went through at some point during the pandemic, and I stumbled across this self-development, personal development, improving your thoughts to improve your life, change the way you think, journey and I noticed how it helped me, and I wanted to do that for other people, and so that's one of the main reasons I started it and I've been putting in some work. I don't spend countless hours into this, right, I don't wrote and recorded so many episodes and changing my artwork, upgrading my artwork, figuring out how to make my sound better, the look of my pot, the look of my podcast. I learned how to get in, to get my podcast on all platforms I made and I make countless posts and upgrading the way I record and starting to add video on social media and putting in so much effort over and over and over again, while still being an actor and doing all the other things I do.

Speaker 1:

And the main reason I do this is because I want to help people. I want to put out something out there in the world that can be a light. I want to be the person that can give somebody exactly what they needed to hear in that moment that they needed to hear it in. I want to be an inspiration. I truly want that. So I make this podcast the best it can possibly be, because I know that the better it is, the more it impacts somebody's lives, somebody's life and the more it impacts people's lives, the more likely they recommend it to somebody else. And the more people they recommend it to, the more people are going to hear it and the more people I can potentially be a light for.

Speaker 1:

And all of this is true, all of this is true. But if I take a step back and play a little devil's advocate and look at it from both sides and thinking about ego, yeah, I do want to help people. I do want to make a difference. I am coming from a genuine place with it. I do want to be heard by as many people as I possibly can for that reason, but also I want to take this thing as far as it can go. I want to turn this into a really successful business for me.

Speaker 1:

I want to make a lot of money from this and I know some of y'all have donated and I truly appreciate it. Trust me, I do. And believe me, right now I'm not doing it for the money, because if I was, I would have quit a long time ago, but I do have goals, revenue wise. I do want a lot of folks to share it in hopes that people will donate. I do want to eventually get to a place with it where I have an ecosystem for all the things I got going on right Acting and music and fitness and editing and if I have this ecosystem set up, where each thing I'm doing is promoting the other one and help with the next one grow, then I'll be able to make even more money from it.

Speaker 1:

And yes, if I'm being honest with myself, all of this is true too. But is there anything wrong with that? Is there anything wrong with wanting to make a living, become a self-sustaining entrepreneur? No, anything wrong with wanting a lot of people to hear my podcast no. So both of these can be true that I want to make an impact and that I want to make a living off of it, a lot of money off of it yes, facts. All of that is true. So is my ego, the side of me that wants to have the best podcast, to have a lot of listeners and to eventually make a lot of money from it. Is it possible that my ego is helping me make a better podcast? And if I make a better podcast because of my ego, I will impact a lot of people. So ego, this thing that has this negative connotation, is actually helping me reach as many people as I possibly can for good.

Speaker 1:

Both things can be true. Your ego can be used for good, but it has to be directed correctly. Like a bull, right, a wild bull is dangerous, but a bull that's been raised around a family, that's been domesticated, that can put a plow, that helps create a garden and can feed a family or village, that bull is being used for good. It's being directed correctly. Same animal, different use. One is intentional, the other one is just dangerously running around. Same thing with ego.

Speaker 1:

So the question is how do you use your ego for good? Because when somebody says ego, what immediately pops up in your head is you're selfish, jealous, maybe arrogant. Insecurity the fact that you can be all about yourself, arrogant insecurity, the fact that you can be all about yourself, defensiveness, perfectionism these are all aspects of having an ego. So what does it look like for you? And once you figure that out, the first thing you have to do is just accept it. That is part of you, like an arm or leg or something. If your arm or leg is too hairy or you don't like how skinny it is, you ain't just going to cut off your arm or your leg, right? No, you accept it. It's there.

Speaker 1:

Accept the fact that you have the ego. Whether it's perfectionism, vanity, the fact that you want to make a whole lot of money, you want to be the best at whatever you do. That's definitely one of my egos. I have the audacity to expect to be the best at stuff, and I get mad that I'm not good at something. What is it for you? Is it selfishness, defensiveness, judgmental-ness? If that's a word, accept it, just like you accept the fact that you're smart or that you're outgoing or shy or happy or sad or patient or silly or artistic, just like all those things are part of you and you accept them. Get to the place where you accept ego, to accept it is there, whatever that thing is, however long it's been with you, because once you do, you can start to use it for good. You can start to change it, but denying it won't make it go anywhere. It for good. You can start to change it, but denying it won't make it go anywhere.

Speaker 1:

And my selfish side that I talked about how I want to make the money and the ecosystem that's just part of me. That's just Dutch. That's who I am and the things I want in life. I'm not finna. Wake up and say you know what? I don't want that, no more. I just want to do this podcast thing, this acting thing, this music thing, all that and and the money, keep it. The life I want to build. Nah, on second thought, I don't want that either. No, that just ain't gonna happen, right?

Speaker 1:

The fact that any of us want to build a better life, that's ego itself. You deep down, think you deserve better. You think you can do better this life ain't. And again, there's nothing wrong with that. You should have that ego, so use it. I use my ego every day to create more and more amazing things. So, after we accept it, we got to change the relationship with it. Like in-laws, right, you don't like them, they don't like you. Well, guess what? The only way it's going to change is if you work on that relationship.

Speaker 1:

Figure out how to change a relationship with your ego. How do you find the good in it? Let's say you're an actor or an architect and you want to be the best actor or architect and be the highest paid at it, or you want to be a household name. You can say that's ego, right? Well, what have you used that? You changed that and looked at it from a standpoint of how many people's lives you will change. How many people are going to want to get into acting because of you? How many people are going to want to become an architect? How you be able to set your family up with generational wealth. That's the ego you can stand behind, right, you don't have to feel negative about that. You don't have to feel like it's a bad thing because, as an actor, if you say you want to be the best. What that means that you think you're better than everybody who you work with that's ego. Somebody might hear that and think you're arrogant and more than likely you won't be at rehearsal talking like that or you won't be on a set of a movie talking about how you want to make sure that you're better than everybody. No, so you can change your relationship with it. Whatever that ego is, can you find the good in it? And also, if you think about it, there has been some good that already came from you having ego. I bet, if you took a second and thought about it, there has been some good things that's happened to you or some good things that came out of you.

Speaker 1:

Having that ego, like perfectionism, for example and I almost don't want to use this example because I talk about it so much on here and how it's a bad thing, but some good does come out of perfectionism. The fact that you care so much about whatever that thing is that you want to be perfect. There's a good chance that it's at least going to be damn good. It won't be, but it more than likely will be good and that perfectionism is definitely an ego, because who the hell are you to do anything perfect? Who the hell are you to do anything perfect? Nobody's perfect, nothing is perfect. So what makes you so special that whatever that thing is that you're working on is going to be perfect? That's ego. You ain't God.

Speaker 1:

And I, 100 percent, have that perfectionism ego when it comes to my music. Now I've gotten better at it lately because I'm working on it, but I can work on a song, hear the mix, feel like it's off, like something is missing or something is too much or too less, and it'll be the smallest thing, thing, things that literally nobody else can hear but me, and I would do this time and time again. And I really started noticing it when I would hear a song for the first time after a few months, right after I've been listening to it every day. Then months go by and I hear it again and it gets to the part that I was tripping on and I listen to it and I can't even tell. I can't even tell the difference. No more, I didn't even hear whatever the hell that thing was in the first place. That was holding me up. That had me thinking that the song didn't sound good. And again, I'm working on it. But what I did do is make my music sound better.

Speaker 1:

In the process, because of that perfectionism, I had a standard that I wanted to keep, even though it was irrational, right? So think about those egos you have. What good has come from it? What good has it created in your world or others around you? Find that good and change that relationship around it. Focus on the positive. And again, once you accept it and you change the relationship with it, now you're at the point where you can use it for good. Now you're at a point where you can weaponize it in a good way. You can add it to your toolbox and, like I said, I pull out my ego all the time.

Speaker 1:

When I make music, I want to be one of the best artists your peers never heard of. When I make content, I want it to look good and stand out. I want folks to say damn that. That. That Dutch man he getting good with his editing skills and because of it I've been getting work from it. And that was on mistake, right? I wasn't even setting out to get noticed for that purpose. I was just trying to grow my business or podcast and music. But I ended up being good at editing. Good came from it. I use it when I'm acting Damn sure, use it when I'm acting. Like I said, I always make it a goal of mine to be the first person memorized during rehearsal, no matter how big or small the role is, because as soon as you get memorized, the more you can explore and create a better, stronger character.

Speaker 1:

I use my ego in sports. That's pretty self-explanatory, but I'll say this though I'm competitive, but in a fun way. I want to win, but I'm not a sore loser or a sore winner. I don't brag or gloat or whatever. So your ego, it can be a good thing. It can be shaped and used for good. Use it to get you to the place that you want to be. And again, you can't get rid of it, it's part of you, but it can be used for good. So that's what I got for you today, man. Like I said, that was a short and sweet. I think. What am I at 13 minutes? Okay, maybe that wasn't that short. Anyway, it was sweet. Use your ego, but I'm finna get up out of here, man. Thank y'all again.

Speaker 1:

If you are on a podcast, again, please like and subscribe. If you want a, I'm sorry, if you want to. If you want YouTube, like subscribe. If you listen to me on a podcast, please leave a review and make a donation. Those are all greatly appreciated. Let's go ahead and ride out.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to leave you with another song today. The song is called On God, freestyle. I've let you hear before. This is an unreleased song, my latest unreleased song, and I'm so excited about this song, um, so hopefully you like it. But uh, let's ride out.

Speaker 1:

On god, on god, on God, on God. I ain't even go waste time and take time putting a watch on, because everything I do is timeless. I make images when I write, got a smart pen like a stylist. The only thing that can stop me now is carpenter on arthritis. Don't refer to me, I'm biased. Refer to me as your highness. That's a vibration. Yeah, gotta have patience. Yeah, uh, I'm daniel with the lions. I'm david with goliath. Ain't no caveman in the bible. My evolution been god sent. No, I'm not a guy, but I'm an idol.

Speaker 1:

A lot of y'all been committing sins just for a chance to go forward, reading my newest scriptures ready for my crucifixion, like that, that y'all thought you was a Christian. Yeah, I'm waiting for one of y'all to cast the first stone. Oh God, that charged me up. It feel like it's a birthstone. Did I push a button? Well, speak up like a chirp phone, but you got to send an email because my cell phone been my work phone.

Speaker 1:

Oh God, I dive off a deep end, like walking a plank on Noah's Ark. For anybody that's close to my heart. Watch for them serpents all in your garden. Listen to them with caution. They whisper in our kind of lies and, acting like they holy, you would think they could walk on water. That's Antichrist. Don't bother. Give sacrifice for your dreams. What is you really willing to offer? Yeah, the heavenly father, please forgive me. I have sinned Questions. I yeah that you be thinking. You got in your mind. You can't do miracles all of the time, and why do your water keep turning to wine? Yeah on God, your hard work paid off May not be actually right. Gotta, make sure you attacking it right. Excuse me, I didn't ask for advice. I'm doing me. That's on God. I'm doing witness with the passion of Christ. I pray they don't cross me. Lord, please keep them off my back with a knife.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I don't want to be God, but I've been acting like Christ Because he was a carpenter. I want to build. I'm doing that for my life, yeah, and I don't do no trends. I don't be rapping for likes, not my energy. I'm too old school here. I got old testament tendencies. Yeah, my brothers will never be my enemies. Yeah, we will never be Canaanite, but they'll never be my nemesis. Yeah, we go too far, we'll be right back. I wish he'd never left us here. On God. I want to be close to God. I need protection here. Feel like he about to make a return every election year Murder and corruption and destructive misconceptions.

Speaker 1:

Here In God, we trust. I don't trust you. Learn my lesson yeah, only trusting my instincts and my eyesight and my vision. Clear, visualizing my demons trying to take me exorcisms yeah, I run into them head on like a collision. That's on God. Me exorcisms yeah, I run into them head on like a collision. That's on God. Yeah, and I don't care if this one hurt your feelings, that's on God. I don't care if you ain't trying to listen, that's on God. Little fool for thought. I've been improving they nutrition. That's on God. Thank you.