Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Navigating The Storm
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What if the failures missed opportunities weren't actually failures? What if it was the universe redirecting you to your true path? Let's talk about navigating storms.
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Navigating Life's Unexpected Curveballs
Speaker 1What's up everybody and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset . My name is Darius Dodge and I'm an actor , hip-hop artist and fitness and life coach , and I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can , one , become the best version of yourself mentally and , two , gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve . Before we get started , please like and subscribe to my channel and at the end of this episode , if you liked it , please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who would benefit from hearing this message . I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you , and that journey begins now . That journey begins now . Hey , welcome back to another episode . Thank you for tuning in .
Speaker 1If you're on YouTube , do me a favor and like and subscribe to the channel . It literally takes less than five seconds , so go ahead , do that for your boy right now . And if you're on a podcast platform , do me a favor and leave me a review . Greatly appreciate it . Also , there's a new way to support me you could become a monthly supporter of the podcast . I left the link in the description of the show and you get to choose the amount . It can either be three , five , eight or ten dollars , and you can also cancel at any time . But I mean , why would you ever want to do that ? All these good episodes I be giving y'all , I mean , ok , anyway , let's get to it .
Speaker 1So I want to talk about this thing we do and we all do . It is just in our human nature to do this , and I know you're going to feel what I'm talking about . So a lot of times these feelings come up . Right , we have this vision in our lives and this path we want to go down . Right , we have this vision in our lives and this path we want to go down . And when we're going through life and things start going in a different direction than what we planned on , it can have this really big negative impact on us . We can get frustrated , angry , we can feel like a failure , we can feel like it's too late , we can end up spiraling mentally and just want to throw in a towel . We can just get down and depressed about it .
Speaker 1And I know I ain't the only person that's been there , done that . We all been there , and maybe you're there right now , and if you are , I'm so glad you happened to find this episode and the reason this happens to us is because we have this vision in our heads , this path of how life quote unquote should look like , and it involves these made up milestones that we want to hit , and a lot of times these milestones involve things like your age or your stage of life , like , by a certain time , I should be married or have kids , or be at a certain place in my career , or have a certain amount of money in my bank account or my savings . I should be it . I should be buying a home at this age , or living in a city that I ultimately want to call home at this age . And again , these milestones are made up .
Speaker 1This ain't law . There's no adult handbook out there that we should be following to the T . Like I always say on here , your path is your path . You can't expect your journey , your life , to look like everybody else's . But we tie these milestones to our lives and what we think life should be , and we give our lives this negative evaluation . And in reality , there's just so much about life that we just can't control and in pursuit of whatever path we set out to have , usually , at a way , younger age , when we didn't understand the reality of adulthood , of adulting , and over time we just evolve and so many circumstances outside of your control and unforeseen circumstances throw curveballs at us . And the same thing is 100% true about goals . We could be holding on to this plan , this timeline , this path of how we want to get somewhere or get something accomplished , and if things don't play out that way , we feel like it ain't ever going to work out and we blame ourselves . We feel like a failure , we throw in the towel . We throw in the towel on our goals , all because this vision we had ain't going exactly as a plan , according to a timeline , according to how we quote unquote should look .
Speaker 1And the idea for this episode came from another life coach I was listening to and they read a quote that I really like and something I want to talk about today . The quote was not all storms come into your life to disrupt . Some come to clear your path . Not all storms come into your life to disrupt . Some come to clear your path . And it makes me think about the part of life that we tend to not want to go through , that part of life when doors close , that we want to be open , but they were just meant to be closed and we really wanted it to be open . So bad we envisioned our lives , how we walk through that door and it makes our lives so much better . But in reality the door had to close for us because if it didn't , we wouldn't be walking on the path we are right now . And is it hard yes , it is To have those expectations , to be excited for that certain door to be open for you and to have it close on you . In that moment , in those moments , you can't see the future where it actually works out in your favor . In that moment , in those moments , you can't see the future where it actually works out in your favor . In that moment , the pain is real , it really
Navigating Life's Challenges and Opportunities
Speaker 1is .
Speaker 1And I bring up the example of my arrest record and how I got arrested for some straight BS and I ended up taking a plea deal to die of a felony , had this bogus charge on my record and they kept me from getting any kind of office job right out of college , and my minor is in business management . Getting any kind of office job right out of college and my minor is in business management , and you better believe . It's hard to get a job in somebody's business with a theft by swindle charge on your record , even if all you did was put trash bags in a dumpster that didn't belong to you . That door closed for me . It closed for me so I could be doing what truly is my passion , and that's acting , being an artist , and I know I'm truly meant to be on this path . There was a chance I didn't get a theater degree at all In high school . I was being recruited by the University of Northern Iowa . They came out and visited me at my auntie house . They sat in her living room and told me they wanted me and this would have been a full ride scholarship and I would have took it regardless , even if it was way out in the middle of Iowa . Fast forward the reason I didn't go is because they ended up taking these twins from Washburn High School and that was the last two scholarships they had .
Speaker 1And fast forward again to my first show in college , my mentor and one of the first professional actors I met in Minnesota , also a friend of the family , my big homie J-Dub . He came to my school , to my college , the school I eventually ended up going to . So he drove an hour and a half to come see me and from then later , he told me that he knew that , after seeing me , that I was serious about this acting thing and that I had talent and that he believed in me . And from that moment he was going to bat for me , and he was the one that ended up helping me get my foot in the door . He casted me in my first professional show , continued to mention my name in rooms that I wasn't in , rooms I wasn't in yet , and the rest is history . He literally helped me get my career started .
Speaker 1Now rewind If I was in the middle of Iowa , the chances of him coming to see me would have been slim to none and I definitely would not have gotten arrested for that dumb ass charge I got , because that also happened in college . And think about it Me not going to Iowa literally came down to a woman giving birth to twin boys instead of having one child . If they weren't twins and it was just one of them , then my life would look so different . Right now , who knows if I will be in theater , and you better believe it . I was hurt when I found out I wasn't getting a scholarship , and I know , whatever that door for you that closed caused you some pain , whatever that door for you that closed calls you some pain .
Speaker 1It's hard and these moments , in these moments , it's good to be able to remind yourself about the perspective you have , that one day you will look back at that moment and see how the path you're on had to be the path you're on . It just had to be like the ex we all have . We all been there , done that . You was with somebody Maybe it was a high school sweetheart , maybe it was a previous marriage and you thought that that was your boo . You couldn't see yourself with nobody else . You just knew this is my person and fast forward , however it ended .
Speaker 1Now you can see like , yep , that wasn't it , that wasn't it at all . And we have so many versions of this . We see it all the time with kids and toddlers . Right , a kid can have a full blown meltdown because you don't cut their banana a certain way To them in that moment , if you don't cut it in half the long way , oh my God , it's the end of the world . Even that simple thing , this small thing in their mind , it's real and how they wanted it to be . That's the way they saw life for them . And it's the same thing with adults . We can see our lives a certain way , a certain path , and when we don't get it , the pain is so real , just like that breakup .
Speaker 1But after a period of time we see that past relationship actually helped shape and mold me to be a better version of myself , to be better equipped to be a better person for my next relationship or my current relationship . And I learned a lot from that relationship and I didn't even know I was learning in real time . And we have to remind ourselves that this happens with jobs , it happens with schools , it happens with opportunities , promotions . I know you can think of something in your past that you wanted bad . You wanted it to work out so bad , and now you have the perspective of knowing that it actually was really never supposed to work out , it wasn't on your path and thank God it didn't . Or you learned skills that you needed to learn that you couldn't have if it actually went the way you wanted it to . So we need to remind ourselves that , yes , we have the vision , yes , we see a certain path in our heads , yes , we know it ain't going to be easy . We know all that we see all that , but don't forget your path . It changes .
Speaker 1Nothing ever goes exactly the way we planned it in our heads . Nothing like corporate work , events and workshops . I laugh every time I see them have the agenda planned out by the minute like 1215 introduction , 1225 speaker one . 1255 video presentation , 105 speaker two , 135 break . We've been there , you've seen it , and it never works . They are always behind . It always takes more time than they expected . Sometimes in life it just won't go the way we planned it .
Speaker 1But what can we do ? We can continue to take the steps in front of us . All we can do is worry about those steps and understand that as you grow and evolve , the steps you have to take will too . So don't get caught up in trying to take steps or worry about steps of a version of yourself that you just haven't become yet . You eventually will get to that path that you want to be on , but one , it's going to look different than it does now in your head , and two , you just haven't become the version of yourself that's down that path yet . So don't worry about steps a future version of yourself is going to take . Take the steps in front of you right now . We can get caught up in the future that we don't have when the future ain't even here yet . The present is here . In pursuit of where you want to go in life . You have to become that person who walks that path , and right now we just ain't there yet , and that's okay . But we have to accept it first to be able to take the next steps . And that's OK . But we have to accept it first to be able to take the next steps , like for me in this podcast .
Speaker 1I know what my ultimate goals are . I know how many people I want to reach . I know how I want this thing to be a very successful business for me , how I want it to be something that when people think of me , they think of my name . The first thing that comes to their mind is he's an actor , he's a hip hop artist , he has a podcast . I know that I eventually want to have guests and I want to grow my following and all that stuff will come , but I ain't that version of myself right now , not yet .
Speaker 1Right now , all I can do is focus on the people I have here now . You continue to make sure I give the ones I have here now to give them podcast episodes to continue to grow with y'all . Because , like I always say , this ain't the kind of podcast where I'm this millionaire and I'm telling you how , if you just do what I do , you'll get rich and famous too . No , that ain't how life works for the other 98 percent of the world . I'm here to figure this out with you . I'm on this journey with you and all I can focus on are the steps in front of me . I can't worry about those long term goals right now . I still have them , I'm still working towards them , but I'm not that version of myself to be to achieve those goals yet . So , as I'm working towards that , I have to take the steps in front of me right now . I can't be trying to live chapter 20 if I'm still in chapter three .
Speaker 1So sometimes doors just have to close . Sometimes you need to learn that resilience . You need to learn how to ask for help . You need to learn and you don't have that perspective yet and those skills yet to see how this actually is all working out for you . And in these moments we have to have that belief that it is working out for us , just like that quote I said earlier not all storms come into your life to disrupt Some , come to clear your path . You have to truly believe that Maybe you had to get laid off , maybe you had to go through that breakup , maybe you had to feel that pain you're feeling , and we all know time is a healer , time is a teacher . Sometimes you just have to go through it to be able to elevate even higher . One of the things I had to accept and time showed me that it had to happen this way is my location and how I wanted to move .
Speaker 1I was this close from moving from Minnesota to Atlanta and to take a leap of faith in my career , specifically for film , and I had the perfect transition plan too . I was cast in a show and this show had just got done , having a production in Atlanta . A theater company out in Atlanta had just done it and they casted me in it , and the reason I even got that opportunity was because the lead actor ended up taking a TV gig out there in Atlanta , so he couldn't do it and it was going to be the same exact cast . The only person different was going to be me , and they were going to bring the show up here to Minnesota and we were going to have rehearsals in Atlanta , since the company is in Atlanta , and they would bring the show up here to Minnesota right after that . So in my head I had this plan like , yep , this is it , this is how it's going to work out . I'm going to go down there and be in rehearsal for four weeks . I'm going to go out and meet people and network , get my name out there , and then my transition would be started Fast forward .
Speaker 1Covid hit , and not only did the theater not do the show anymore , a couple of years later actors went on strike and nobody was filming anything . I was hearing stories about folks who got a lot of work in the past , only getting like one audition in a whole year or just not working period . And what horrible timing that would have been for me . Right , I would have been fresh out there , new move , huge career change and been out of work . I had that vision . I saw that path , but little did I know it wasn't meant to work out . I needed to keep working , to keep working on my craft , keep building this version of myself . And I'll be honest , over these past few years I got so much better as an actor , so much better as a hip hop artist so much better . I'm way better equipped to be placed anywhere and show my talents . But back then in 2019 , I was like that toddler that wanted his banana cut the long way . I couldn't see it no other way . I didn't understand that not only could bananas be cut a different way , but there was this thing also called steak . In my future , there was also a thing called a buffet .
Embracing Life's Unexpected Journey
Speaker 1Time is a healer and a teacher . Your path won't go the way you have it in your head . Curveballs and detours are going to happen . Sometimes your path has to be the one that takes longer and looks different . To prepare you for what's ahead . To prepare you how to deal with problems . To prepare you how to find those people in your life that you need to help you get to that next level . To prepare you with the skills you just don't have yet . To prepare you for what's next . Maybe you didn't get that thing you wanted , because what's really meant for you is something you need to have different people in your life , whether that's a friend , a co-worker or spouse . Sometimes you need to be redirected . Not all storms come into your life to disrupt . Some come to clear your path . It might not be working out for you right now because it's meant to be even better in the future .
Speaker 1So that's what I got for you today . Again , I would love it if you became a supporter of the show . I left the link in the description for you . You can choose the amount and I thank you in advance . And the song I got for y'all today is Soul Food . So let's ride out .
Speaker 1Yeah , you see , people will forget what you said . People will forget what you did . People will never forget how you made them feel . Rest in peace , maya Angelou . She always kept it real . See , I want to make you feel it deep down in your soul , like a home-cooked meal .
Speaker 1I'm talking soul food . I'm talking high-quad-ed , like whole foods . I'm talking . You don't need no mood ring for you to see . I changed my whole mood because I had to and some things , god let me go through because I had to , reflecting on my life . See , I got this soul food .
Speaker 1I wanted fast food . I shoulda put a seatbelt around my arm , as in cashews . The way it drove me nuts . Right now it's a feast . Too afraid of the famine Made me eat too much . Hopefully I don't speak too much as our eyes close and heads bow . Supposed to be grace , it sound like prayer .
Speaker 1Damn , I'm stressed out . Please forgive me , but I've been stressed out . Lord knows I've been stressed out but I keep smiling , poking my chest out , my navigation broken Cause I can't find the best route . Ain't nothing stopping I stay going my closet , pulling my best out . I'm glad you came . I hope you hungry . Let me pull your chair out .
Speaker 1I made some soul food . Yeah , some food for thought . Don't be rude , don't throw salt . My name ain't food . Keep it out your mouth . I know you See sauce . I stay true to myself and keep it a hundred . Something that can't be . Ain't no beef or gravy , don't forget it's take three . I stir the pot like jambalaya and that's work to my auntie , cause I've been feeling hungry . Now I'm feeling hangry . I'm feeling like I'm the tightest .
Speaker 1Some of y'all got the itis , like you , eating barbecue , chicken , macaroni with a side of baked beans . Yeah , they sleeping on me , chip on my shoulder , eating good , so I keep it on me . I'm out the bourbon . This ain't for no eggnog . That ain't for no sour food . Yeah , and I hate being broke with a passion .
Speaker 1Had to hustle , I made it happen . Every time I start making cabbage or collard greens or mustard greens , I turn up . Yeah , I used to trust everybody . Had to break the habit . Nowadays , if I don't know you , I don't trust you . Like potato salad Nowadays it don't take much to be small things that make me happy . I just want some fried chicken wings and red beans made by my granny . Rest in peace to my granny . Rest in peace to everybody I ever lost in my family . Rest in peace to my
Navigating Personal Growth and Self-Reflection
Speaker 1mama .
Speaker 1Some things in life just gotta happen . I probably need therapy . At least I'm aware of it . That's why I sound like a vent when I'm rapping . I probably should talk about shit when it happen , for whatever reason . It don't feel manly . I need some soul . I wanna cook for ya . I'll even do the dishes . So take a seat , stay a while . You see me with a smile . Don't mean I'm weak , so don't try . Ain't nothing sweet but potato pie . Speaking of pie , I need me a slice . I'm talking financial stability . I'm done with humble pie . I'm just a humble guy . I gotta switch up my energy . I gotta get my head together , cause I don't know what they got into me . I can't let quarantine get to me , starting to get to me mentally . We'll be right back . You better not sit down . I bust your head . I keep it real and I say how I feel . I don't renege . I want to go back to being the kid with the big head at the table and sofa . Thank you .