Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
You Have an Ego. It's a Good Thing
You have an ego. Yes, you do. We all do. However, the word ego normally comes with a bad connotation. We've been taught that it can be destructive and to stray away from having one. An ego, for the most part, is widely seen as a negative psychological side effect. What if we can use our ego for good? Is it possible that we could use it in a positive way? Instead of it being negative and destructive, what if we could use it in a positive and CONstructive way?
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What's up everybody and thank you for listening to Mastering the Mindset. My name is Darius Dodge and I'm an actor, hip-hop artist and fitness and life coach, and I'm here to personally help you train and improve your mindset so that you can, one, become the best version of yourself mentally and, two, gain focus and motivation to be able to take action and achieve the success in life that you want and deserve. Before we get started, please like and subscribe to my channel and at the end of this episode, if you liked it, please share it with a friend or a loved one or someone who would benefit from hearing this message. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to go on this journey with you, and that journey begins now. That journey begins now. All right, and welcome back to another episode. Thank you all so much for being here. If you are on YouTube, you know what to do. Go ahead and like and subscribe to my channel, and if you are on a podcast platform, make sure you leave me a review. These things greatly help me out. And also, please make a a donation. You can become a monthly subscriber to support the podcast and you get to choose the amount. It can either be two wait, it can be three, five, eight or ten dollars and you can decide when you want it to end. Either way, I greatly appreciate it. You can think of that as your christmas gift to me. It is the holidays, and if you're feeling in the given season, I would greatly appreciate that. But let's go ahead and jump in. Today's going to be a good one.
Speaker 1:We're going to talk about how to use your ego for good. Now, when we hear the word ego, it has a bad connotation, and rightfully so. It's always been that way. We always hear how ego can be destructive or something that you should stray away from, like oh, his ego too big, or that was her ego talking, or damn, you got a big ego, don't you? It seems like a negative psychological side effect we have. But let's look at it from a different angle, a different point of view. What if we can use our ego for good? Is it possible that we can use it in a positive way instead of it being negative and destructive? What if we use it in a positive and constructive way? And we're going to talk about some examples of how that's possible. And also, what if it was true that our egos and yes, we all have one. You might not believe you do, but you do. It just might not be showing up the way you realize it does. But what if our egos never actually go away? What if we can learn how to work with your ego? Because I don't really think it's ever going to go away, and I explain that in a second. But your ego is actually part of your psychological makeup. Psychologists will tell you that it is part of your psychological makeup. So how can we accept it and use it to our advantage for good? So let's dive in. So I use myself for an example and this podcast.
Speaker 1:The reason I started this podcast, which I say all the time, is because of the pandemic. To sum it up real quick, I was in a bad mental space, one that we all went through at some point during the pandemic, and I stumbled across this self-development, personal development, improving your thoughts to improve your life, change the way you think, journey and I noticed how it helped me and I wanted that for other people. That's one of the main reasons I started it and I've been putting in some work. Adam put in countless hours into this. Adam wrote and recorded so many episodes. This is my 269th episode, which is crazy to even think about and changing my artwork, upgrading my artwork, figuring out how to make my sound better, the look of my podcast. I learned how to get it on all platforms. I made and make countless posts and upgrading the way I record and starting to add video on social media. And putting in so much effort over and over again, while still being an actor. And doing all the things I do.
Speaker 1:And the main reason I do this is because I want to help people. I want to put something out there in the world that can be a light. I want to be the person that can give somebody exactly what they needed to hear in that moment they needed to hear it in. I want to be the person that can give somebody exactly what they need to hear in that moment they needed to hear it in. I want to be an inspiration. I truly want that. So I want to make this podcast the best it can possibly be, because I know that the better it is, the more it impacts somebody's life, and the more that it impacts somebody's life, the more likely they're recommended to somebody, and the more they recommend it, the more people go hear it and the more people I can potentially be a life for.
Speaker 1:And all of this is true, all of that's true. But if I take a step back and play a little devil's advocate and look at it from both sides of this and thinking about ego, yeah, I do want to help people. I do want to make a difference. I am coming from a genuine place with it. I do want to be heard by as many folks as possible for that reason, but I also want to take this thing as far as it can go. I want to turn this into a really successful business for me.
Speaker 1:I want to make a lot of money from this and I know some of y'all have donated and I truly appreciate it. But believe me, right now it is not for the money. It ain't for the money, because I would have quit a long time ago if I was in this for money right now. But I do have goals revenue wise. I do want a lot of folks to share it in hopes that they will donate. I do want to eventually get to a place with it where I have an ecosystem for all the things I got going on acting, music, fitness and editing and if I have this ecosystem set up where each thing I'm doing is promoting or helping the next one grow, then I'll be able to make even more money from it.
Speaker 1:And yeah, if I'm being honest with myself, all of that part is true. But is there anything wrong with that? Anything wrong with wanting to make a living, to become a self-sustaining entrepreneur? Anything wrong with wanting a lot of folks to hear my podcast? So both of these things can be true. That I want to make an impact and I do want to make a living off this and a lot of money off this. Yes, facts. So is my ego, the side of me that wants to have the best podcast, to have a lot of listeners, to eventually make a lot of money with it. Is it possible that my ego is helping me make a better podcast? And if I make a better podcast because of my ego, I will impact a lot of people. So ego, this thing that has this negative connotation, is actually helping me reach as many folks as possible for good. Both things can be true.
Speaker 1:Your ego can be used for good, but it got to be directed correctly, like a bull. A wild bull is dangerous, but a bull that's been raised around a family that can pull a plow that helps create a garden that can feed a family or village. That bull is being used for good. It's being directed correctly. Same animal, different use. One is intentional, the other one is just dangerously running around. Same thing with your ego.
Speaker 1:So the question is, how do you use your ego for good? Because when somebody says ego, what immediately pops up in our head is your selfish side. Selfish side, your jealous side, maybe your arrogance or insecurities, the fact that you can be all about yourself, defensiveness, your perfectionism these are all aspects of having ego. So what does that look like for you? And once you figure that out, the first thing you have to do is just accept it. That is part of you, like your arm or your leg or something. And if your arm or leg is too hairy or you don't like how skinny it is, you ain't gonna cut it off. No, you accept it, it's there. Accept the fact that you have the ego, whether it's the perfectionism, the vanity, the fact that you want to make a whole lot of money. You want to be the best at whatever you do. That's definitely one of my egos. I have the audacity to expect to be the best at stuff and I get mad if I ain't good at something.
Speaker 1:Every league I'm in I'm in a softball league, kickball league and a rollerball league and every league has a tournament at the end to determine a champion for the season. And I be trying to win a championship every single time. That's my goal to win a championship. I only won a championship twice in my life and I've been playing sports since I was nine Only won a championship twice Once when I was 15 in baseball and once when I was 25 in football. And that feeling is amazing. And the closest I got to it was a few months ago in our kickball league and we came in second place. And you better believe I'm coming back even harder next season. I need that championship. That's one of my egos. I expect to be able to win it all.
Speaker 1:So what is it for you? Is it selfishness, defensiveness, judgmental-ness? If that's a word, accept it, just like you accept the fact that you're smart, or that you're outgoing or shy or happy or sad or patient or silly or artistic, just like all those are parts of you and you accept them. Get to the place where you accept that ego, to accept it is there, whatever that thing is, however long it's been with you because once you do, you can start to use it for good. You can start to change it, but denying it won't make it go anywhere.
Speaker 1:And so my selfish side that I talked about how I want to make the money and the ecosystem, that's just part of who I am. That's just. That's just who I am. And the ecosystem, that's just part of who I am. That's just Dutch. That's just who I am and the things I want in life. I ain't gonna wake up one day and just say you know what, I don't want that, no more, I don't. I just want to do this podcast thing, this acting thing, this music, all that and the money, keep it, the life I want to build. Now, on second thought, I don't want that. That just ain't gonna happen.
Speaker 1:Right, the fact that any of us want to build a better life, that's ego in itself. You deep down think you deserve better. You think you can do better, that this life you have right now ain't enough for you. And again, there's nothing wrong with that. You should have that ego, so use it. And after we accept that, we got to change the relationship with it. Like in-laws, you don't like them, they don't like you Right? Well, guess what? The only way it's going to change is if you work on that relationship.
Speaker 1:Figure out how to change your relationship with your ego. How do you find the good in it? Let's say you're an actor or architect and you want to be the best actor or architect and be the highest paid at it and you want to be a household name. You can say that's ego, right? Well, what if you use that? You change that and looked at it from a different standpoint, of how many people's lives you'll change? How many people going to want to get into acting because of you? How many people going to want to be architects because of you? How you'll be able to set your family up with generational wealth? That's an ego you can stand behind. You don't have to feel negative about that. You don't have to feel like it's a bad thing because, as an actor, if you say you want to be the best, well that means that you think you're better than everybody you work with. That's ego. Somebody might hear that and think you're arrogant and more likely, you ain't gonna be on the set talking about how you want to make sure you better than everybody here, no, so Can you change your relationship with it.
Speaker 1:Whatever that ego is, can you find the good in it and also, if you think about it, there has been some good that already came from you having the ego. I bet if you look, look at it and take a second to think about it, there have been some good things to happen or some good things that came out of you having that ego, like perfectionism and I almost don't want to use this example because I talk about it a lot on here and how it's a bad thing, but some good does come out of perfectionism the fact that you care so much about whatever that thing is that you want to be perfect. There's a good chance that it's at least going to be damn good. It won't be perfect, but it'll more than likely be good. And perfectionism is an ego. 100%. That's an ego, because who the hell are you to do anything perfect? Who the hell are you to do anything perfect? Nobody is perfect, nothing is perfect. So what makes you so special that whatever that thing you working on is going to be perfect? That's ego. You ain't God, and I for sure have that perfectionism ego.
Speaker 1:When it comes to my music. I got better at it lately because I'm working on it. But I can work on a song. I can hear the mix. I feel like it's off and it'd be the smallest thing, things that literally nobody else can hear but me, and it'll be one thing that will keep me from feeling satisfied with it or keep me from releasing it. And I would do this time and time again. And I really started noticing it when I wouldn't hear that song for a few months. Then I hear it again and it gets to that part that I was tripping on and I listened to it and I couldn't even tell no more. I literally couldn't even hear it. I didn't even hear whatever that thing was that was holding me up. They had me thinking that the song didn't sound good. Again, I'm working on it, but what it did do is make my music sound better. I had a standard that I wanted to keep, even though it was irrational, right.
Speaker 1:So think about those egos you have. Think about those egos you have. So think about those egos you have. Think about those egos you have. What good has come from it? What good has actually been created in you or in the world or others around you? Find that good, change that relationship around it. Focus on the positive on it and once you accept it, then change your relationship with it. Now you're at a point where you can use it for good. Now you're at a point where you can weaponize it in a good way. You can add it to your toolbox, and you better believe I pull my ego out all the time when I make music.
Speaker 1:I want to be the one. I want to be one of the best artists your peers have never heard of. When I create content, I want it to look so good. I want it to stand out. I want people to say damn that Darius is getting good with his editing skills and because of it I've been getting work from it. And that was a mistake. I wasn't even setting out to get noticed for that purpose. I was just trying to grow. But it ended up being a good thing. Good came from it. I use it when I'm acting.
Speaker 1:Like I said, I always make it a goal to be the first person memorized during rehearsal, no matter how big or small the role is, because as soon as you get memorized, the more you can explore and create a better, stronger character. So I use my ego that way. I 100 percent use my ego in sports, which is pretty self-explanatory. But I will say this though I'm competitive, but in a fun way. I want to win, but I ain't a sore loser or a sore winner. I don't gloat or brag or whatever. So, anyway, your ego, it can be a good thing. It can be shaped and used for good. Use it to get you to a place that you want to be. Again, you can't get rid of it, it's part of you, but you can use it for good. So that's what I got for you today. Again, you can't get rid of it, it's part of you, but you can use it for good. So that's what I got for you today. Again, make a donation, if you can Think of this as your Christmas present to me. So, happy holidays.
Speaker 1:And the song we're going to ride out to is so Alive, let's ride out, yeah, yeah. See, I feel so alive right now. You know, baby, you got this frown on your face. It's like listen, you got to get right with yourself before you can get right with anybody else. That ain't game. Marcus Wilson said that I feel so alive. Had to put my little chain on. That ain't game. Marcus Wilson said that Police caught me slipping, got my name in the system. Yeah, I be fine.
Speaker 1:I'm an optimist In my prime. Like optimist, I'm feeling alive. If you ain't feeling my vibe, I don't give a damn. That should be obvious. It's Dutch and it's my night. So I flip the switch, I turn on my limelight, I shine bright Like the sun, ruin your eyesight, but I can see clearly now, unfortunately from hindsight. But I'll be alright.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and my bar's always cold as ice cream, like what would you do for a clunduck? All I wanted was an audience. All she wanted was my free time. She don't understand how hard it is. I'm chasing my dreams, baby, so I gotta put my all in this. You don't need a cardiologist, you can see I put my heart in this. Ain't nobody going hard as this? I know that when I started this yeah, I pick up this mic, I'm the sickest and I be writing prescriptions it got me feeling like a pharmacist. I do it big like victorious and I'm down for whatever.
Speaker 1:Baby. I'm with the chips like a toilet lid, you piss me off and get flushed. But I feel so alive right now. Loving your vibe right now, maybe because I'm high right now, nobody's a blessing. Feel like I'm in heaven, girl, I just died. Right now I dive in your holy water, but I won't drown right now because I feel so alive. They in my way like tsa, but they will not stop this because I'm like a pilot that mean I'm fly, look at my outfit and suck my cockpit. Girl, I know we both got options.
Speaker 1:So let's be honest and keep it up front, like table of contents. I'm not with that nonsense. I'm not trying to fool you, baby from Louisiana. Better be careful. I got that voodoo. Baby, come back to the crib. I don't got cable, but I got Hulu. Baby, come Netflix and chill with me. Don't lie, keep it real with me. I can tell you feeling me, throw it at me, I will hit it. Bow, and I feel so alive right now. I'm so high off life right now. Probably shouldn't drive right now and my nigga just came in town. Yeah, we finna go take it down. Yeah, we finna go at the clown. Don't record me. Put your phone down. A cell phone is. I don't wanna be on Facebook or your Snapchat or your Instagram. I can't let this hit the net.
Speaker 1:Acting like it's the Wimbledon, I ain't saying I'm innocent, but I am a businessman and I gotta finish now. Yeah, and I got a drink in my hand right now and I gotta finish now. Yeah, and I got a lot of patience, girl, but I gotta limit now. Yeah, I gotta show them I'm not really bigot. Everybody want to give they two cents. So, guess what? I got a lot of pennies. But so what, I'm already winning. I pulled you and I get a penny. I make it juicy, you calling me bigot, but that's later on, when I call Uber to take us home, cause, girl, I feel so alive right now, loving your vibe right now. We look so fly right now, maybe, cause I'm in heaven, girl, I just died. Right now I dive in your holy water, but I won't drown right now because I feel so alive. Yeah, I feel so alive. I feel so alive. Outro Music.