Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
So You're Not For Everyone... That's the Point
Sometimes you just aren't for everyone. It's important to embrace your personal growth while navigating the way relationships around you change. Sometimes you just have to recognize your evolution, embrace your light, and understand thats it's ok to not be accepted by everybody. Today we're going to talk about :
• Discussing the fear of failure and the desire for personal growth
• Allowing yourself permission to evolve and change
• The impact of other's feedback on your identity
• Overcoming criticism and remaining true to yourself
• The problems with dimming your light for others’ comfort
• Addressing grief associated with changing relationships
• Attracting new connections that are true to your evolved self
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Losing myself and finding my strength, came to the conclusion that I want it all, feeling that pressure of trying to do better. I want to reach heights, but too scared to fall, too scared to fail. You're way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying. That's terrifying. I understand that. Chasing my goals are burying my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know If I want to grow, you breathe what you sow. That be the case, planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes, the people that act like you crazy, but trying this, they fall away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate. Yeah, they hate themselves because they on the shelf.
Speaker 1:Why you create a life that you love, A life that you love, yeah, loving the fact you improving yourself, decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do what the road got. Bumping your foot on the pedal, you go up a level. You turn up whenever it's time for you to go. Put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. One thing is for sure. Yeah, until they put me in this earth, before I ride in that hearse, I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love and affect you, improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it, to go. Got bumpers in the gutter. I'm chasing my goals.
Speaker 1:All right, and welcome back to another episode. If you are watching me on youtube, go ahead and like and subscribe to the channel. If you're listening on the podcast platform, please leave a review. Uh, also, make sure you become a monthly supporter of the show. It can either be three, five, eight or ten dollars and you can cancel at any time. All right, let's dive in.
Speaker 1:So I want to talk to y'all today about this topic because, like I always say, you're the kind of person that's listening to this kind of podcast. So eventually, if you haven't seen any changes already, eventually, as you grow and you keep working on yourself and the way you do things and the actions you take and changing the way you think, eventually you're going to start to grow, you're going to start to evolve, and I want to talk about that. I want to talk about how you should give yourself permission to evolve and be okay with not being for everybody. Whether you're an entrepreneur or you started a business, or you decided to really go hard at something, at work, or you decided to just simply work on yourself and better yourself, whatever it may be, we have to learn to give ourselves permission to evolve and to evolve around people, even if they don't understand it Right, even if they still have the old version of you stuck in the memory card, in the memory bank memory card in their memory bank. And if, even if you're in a season where you don't have it all together, in a season when you've been taking the action and maybe you see some progress and in that progress and gain the knowledge, you realize that, damn, I still have so much work to do.
Speaker 1:Even in that season, a season of everything feeling so far away from being accomplished or complete, you're still evolving and other people they won't be able to see it or tell because it's something that they can't see Can't nobody see that you've grown mentally unless that person really truly deeply knows you right. You could be in a season where you feel that pull, that stretch of working towards something and it's hard, and you just mentally, are in a different space and nobody has a clue what's going on with you mentally and growth wise, excuse me. And it's good to talk about all this right, and for us to dive into this, because it's definitely something that I wish I had, uh, in my tool belt when I first started my journey. But it's something important to normalize, to make ourselves be okay with that mental stretch, the change, the uncertainty, um, that the way that, by default, some of our relationships with friends and family is just going to change. It just does. And it's good to have these conversations with yourself. So, when you are in that evolution season, you don't feel like there's something wrong with you, like there's something you're doing that's making these relationships change. We need to make sure that you're not downplaying your potential because you're worried about offending somebody else or that you're in a building and working towards creating a life that ain't really aligned for you because you got caught up in trying to mimic the way somebody else thinks that you should show up for yourself.
Speaker 1:And the reason this podcast came up for me is I was thinking and reflecting back on my music journey and I remember it was around the time I first started putting out music right, when I first started getting serious about it and I'll be honest, when I first started I was a lot more vulgar than I am now. I mean, I still curse and say the N-word a lot and I make sexual references and punchlines, but not nearly as much as I used to. I pull way back and the music was still good. I knew the music was good. I had no doubts in my mind about that. My only hesitations I had was the sound. Back then I didn't have a professional sound. But when I tell you, as I sit here and reflect on all the people and it wasn't even that many people, but at that time whenever somebody would say something it felt like a lot of people.
Speaker 1:But there were some folks that had feedback about my music that I didn't ask for. Nor did I want to hear the negative feedback about me, cursing about me talking about sex in the way I was and I ain't gonna lie, I had a few sexually explicit lyrics. One might even say I was a little bit vulgar, but a few things. About this one I was offended. I felt like these people that had the negative feedback wasn't being fair. I felt like they were holding me to a standard that they don't even hold their favorite artists to the superstars. Like how are you going to have a problem with me cursing in my own music? I ain't the first person to curse when they rap. I ain't the first person to talk about sex in a song. Why is this such a problem? Right, I don't rap about drugs or violence or excuse my language, bitches and hoes.
Speaker 1:My music actually has a message, it has meaning, and if you're somebody that told me this in the past, I promise I'm not talking about you. I'm serious. The person that I was talking about, that I'm talking about that was telling me this back then. I know they are not listening to this podcast right now, trust me. They're just not listen to this podcast right now, trust me, they're just not. And not only was the negative feedback not fair in my opinion, but it was coming from people who don't even listen to the genre of hip hop that I make, so they wouldn't even qualify to give me that opinion. Right, that would be like me telling somebody that their country song was too provocative, right, country is not a genre I listen to. So that's one and two, two.
Speaker 1:Thank God I was confident enough in myself to not let that keep me from making music that didn't have. That didn't let that change me, change who I was, that I kept going right now. Did I evolve and eventually tone it back with my language? I did, but that wasn't because of them. It was because I realized that I was using curse words as a crutch and I noticed that the less I curse that, the better the song was. I was forced to find better words and work harder to make my lyrics work and, like I said, luckily I knew I was talented enough and I knew I was evolving even back then.
Speaker 1:Because the fact that I'm getting this negative feedback at all from these people, that means it's good. Getting this negative feedback at all from these people, that means it's good. The fact that they were holding me to a higher standard than major artists out there who came before me, it means that they care enough about my talent to give me feedback Right, because if I sucked they wouldn't say anything. They would just feel like, well, he ain't gonna make it no way, so right, and just keep that comment to themselves. And thank God, I understood that and I kept on going. And thank God I understood that and I kept on going and thank God, I didn't try and make my artistry the way they wanted me to express it, right. Thank God, I expressed it the way I want to express it. I had to keep doing me and I keep it a hundred Right? Did I get defensive? Yeah, I did Like. Who the hell are you Right? Who made you my agent? Who? Who the hell made you my manager and me?
Speaker 1:Reflecting on this right now, it brought up to the front of my mind that this is a common thing. A lot of folks struggle with. It's getting feedback like this and deciding that you have to change your identity or how you show up in order to make somebody else happy. Also, another big thing that folks do when it comes to our journey is they dim their light so they don't outshine other people whose light is not as bright as theirs. We can have that feeling of not wanting to be the person who makes somebody feel inferior because of what they have or what they don't have. You have been there, right. You have this light. Whatever that light may be, it could be a talent, it could be a promotion, it could be your physique, it could be your beautiful home, it could be your career. Maybe it's the fact that you just have more experience in things than the next person and, out of fear of making them feel less than you, downplay your success or you don't talk about it, or you just don't let that light of you shine. And I'll be the first person to tell you that I am 100% guilty of this.
Speaker 1:When it comes to things that I do with this podcast, especially Right and just overall positivity and light that I want to spread in my community with who I am and the message I put out, there was a time where I would kind of downplay all those things that I do Right, the message that I put out, the post that I make the email list to people that I send my positivity emails to. Every week People would give me my flowers and tell me how they love what I'm doing or how something I posted or said really resonated with them and that it was exactly what they needed to hear. And I would kind of make it, make it smaller than what it really was by not really embracing that fact that, hey, you are making a difference. You should really be extremely proud of the man you're becoming. Now don't get me wrong I am proud and I do understand that I was making a difference. I was making a difference, but that imposter syndrome was kind of settling in in my head and in my head I'm thinking well, I mean, anybody can do this Right.
Speaker 1:In my head I was operating under the thought process that, hey, if I decided to do it one day, anybody can. Under the thought process that, hey, if I decided to do it one day, anybody can. And while that is true, yes, anybody technically can decide to do a podcast, anybody can write exactly exactly like the one I do and there are hundreds of podcasts out there exactly like this or not, well, like this one I do. But that doesn't mean that they are me, that they will have the same impact I have, that they'll reach the specific people that I'm reaching right now, that they would have reached you Right or that is even in their path in life. It doesn't mean that this path wasn't chosen for me and I'm walking in it and I shouldn't ever dim that light and you shouldn't ever feel like you're making somebody feel inferior by talking about your light Right Now. Don't confuse that with bragging right. That's a different thing. But we can feel uncomfortable about talking about our success when we feel like it's making the next person feel bad about whatever they have or don't have.
Speaker 1:You can't control how somebody else feels about themselves. I'm gonna say it again you can't control how somebody else feels about themselves. You just can't right. If you can't control how somebody else feels about themselves, you just can't right. If you ain't being an a-hole and putting them down, you can't control how somebody else feels about themselves and you also can't control what they do with their life. All you can do is walk in your light and hopefully they can see you and be inspired by you and want to do more. Bottom line. Just be you, just do you, just walk in your light and in your path.
Speaker 1:So, like I said in the beginning, I'll say it again it's okay to not be for everyone. As you grow and you have more experiences, as you do more, as you accomplish more, you can't help but to evolve and to change. There's no way you'll be the same and and look, I don't think you understand how much of a rarity you are. Yes, you do. You realize that most of folks you know would never even attempt to work on themselves. Most people are either content with who they are and don't even realize they have things to work on, because we all do, or they're content with who they are because they just don't want to do the work. And for most people, they don't do the work because they don't even know about it. They don't even understand things about themselves, right, the way you understand yourself and in your mind and self-development is not for everybody. It's just not.
Speaker 1:You are unique. You are a unique person, especially if you try to implement these things in your life. Because don't get me wrong it does me no good if you don't do these things. And, like I always say, this is not the kind of podcast where I'm this millionaire and I'm telling you hey, do it like I did and you'll be successful. No, I'm on this journey with you. I'm implementing these things in my life in real time and I can honestly say I've seen so much growth. I've gained so much more understanding about the way I think and the things I need to do to be able to operate at a higher level.
Speaker 1:So just know that, as you keep going on this self-development journey and you're changing the way you think the fact that you're probably the only one of your friends to even do this there's a good chance you're starting to see a difference and that's okay. Keep doing what. Don't water down your excitement or who you're becoming, and try and make somebody else feel included. The season of life you're in is your own. Nobody else will have your season. Maybe it's similar, but choice is unique to you and it's important to remind ourselves that there will be seasons in our life where you won't feel much connection with some folks in your life who you've been close with.
Speaker 1:And also understand that as you change, change can feel like grief at times because when you change, you lose things. You lose the old, you lose the familiar and in some cases it can be the connection, the closeness, the way things used to be with the person. And that grief may not actually feel like grief because we, for the most part, only think of grief in terms of death Right, but it shows up with change and that grief, that feeling that you get when you start to realize things are different, that can make you feel like you're not actually evolving, that you're going backwards or that you're doing something wrong. Understand that you may feel like you're letting some people down when you evolve, and that could possibly even be the case, right, but on the other side of it, and that could possibly even be the case, right.
Speaker 1:But on the other side of it, you attract the people who are the perfect person for the season you're in right now, and those people will need to be. They will need you to be your evolved self. They'll need you to be who you truly are, and vice versa, because the season you're stepping into, or that you're going to step in it, might not be the same vision as other people have for you. They might not see you as that kind of person, but when you start to grow, what can happen is you can outgrow people's perception of you. They've always known you as one way, but now that you're changing, they can't see it. They might think you're acting funny or that you change in a negative way, when in reality you just ain't the same old, you no more, and the things you're going after might not align with where they are and what they want. And you just got to go for it anyway. Create it anyway. Take that step back or take that step forward and don't water yourself down. Honor the gift that you've been given, honor that light that you have, honor that drive that you have inside of you and be authentic and trust that there are people out there watching you that need to see you. They need to see you, the person who you are, who looks just like you, do exactly what you're doing and walk in the path you're walking. They need you to be you. So be you with your evolved self. So that's what I got for you today. Again, thank you all for being here. Boy, my voice is rapidly going away. Thank you all for being here.
Speaker 1:Please go ahead and become a supporter of the show. You can choose the amount. It can either be $3, $5, $8, or $10 monthly. You can cancel at any time. Let's go ahead and get to this music.
Speaker 1:The song we're going to write out today is let's do Peak. Let's write out. You know, sometimes you gotta remind yourself as you're climbing up to take a second look down and see how far you came, enjoy the view and keep going. Uh, they telling me I got it. They tell me I'm the hottest. I don't even rap about money, drugs or violence. I'll be. They tell me I'm the hottest. I don't even rap about money, drugs or violence. I be being honest. You know I'm still modest, but I think we the hottest and I feel like DJ Khaled Nigga we the best, nah really. Nigga we the best, nah really. You should see this mess. Last night we had a party. You know that boy Mosley got it started.
Speaker 1:You know she, telling me I'm fly, got me feeling like a pilot. She kept it first class and she sat by the pilot. I can't even front here. I told her I like the spirit and dealt her my phone number. And now she be flying diamond and I'm feeling so excited cause I'ma get it poppin'. They done left me in the gutter.
Speaker 1:I'm feeling so accomplished, I'm feeling like I'm closer to my peak. Uh, feel like I'm closer to my peak, but I feel like. I feel like I'm never home until I'm gone, feel like when I'm alone, I'm in my zone and I feel like. Feel like I really should pick up a phone Sometimes. I just need to be on my own. I need to call my daddy. I should call my auntie. Rip my mama. That ain't how she raised me. I work so damn hard to competition looking lazy. I work so damn hard to competition. Better, chase me. Okay, let's get it, we'll be right back that. I make it past the sky because I'm shooting for the stars. I got a lot of ammunition. I popped another clip in. I'm proud of what I'm spitting.
Speaker 1:Took a lot of planning, went from hobby to fruition. They see me in the clouds and acknowledge that I'm gifted. Got me feeling like I'm closer to my peak. Yeah, feel like I'm closer to my peak. It ain't as easy as it look, but we gonna celebrate, pour my cup, cheers to being overlooked, to being overbooked, but won't give up cause I got close but I ain't close enough.
Speaker 1:It's time to hold my nuts and I got coconuts. I put my feelings on the page. They already read me like an open book. I should be endorsed by my feelings, cause I wear them on my sleeve. So take a look at me and tell me what you see, cause I look in the mirror and I see a fucking tree started as a mustard seed. Oh yeah, and please excuse my long toast. I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast Not on Google Maps, but I know I'm getting close. I'm closer to my P. I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast Not on Google Maps, but I know I'm getting close. I'm closer to my P. I'm closer to my P. Outro Music.