Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Confronting Imposter Syndrome: Embracing Self-Belief
Let's talk about the concept of imposter syndrome and shed some light on how it impacts personal and professional growth. Reminder; self-doubt is a common experience, especially when striving for new heights. Acknowledging this feeling can lead to greater self-acceptance and resilience.
• Understanding the definition and nuances of imposter syndrome
• The effects of external and self-imposed expectations
• Personal stories of overcoming feelings of inadequacy
• The importance of questioning negative narratives
• Celebrating progress and small victories on the journey
• Encouragement to embrace emotional ups and downs as part of growth
• Building a supportive network to counteract feelings of doubt
• Changing the perception of imposter syndrome as a sign of growth and progress
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Losing myself and finding my strength, came to the conclusion that I want it all, feeling that pressure of trying to do better. I want to reach heights, but too scared to fall, too scared to fail. You're way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying. That's terrifying. I understand that. Chasing my goals are burying my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know If I want to grow, you breathe what you sow. That be the case, planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes. The people that act like you crazy, but trying this, they fall away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate if they hate themselves because they on the shelf.
Speaker 1:Why you create a life that you love, A life that you love Loving the fact you're improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do what the road got. Bumping your foot on the pedal, you go up a level. You turn up whenever it's time for you to go. Put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. One thing is for sure, yeah, until they put me in this earth before I ride in that hearse. I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love and affect you, improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it, to go, got bumpers in the gutter. I'm chasing my goals.
Speaker 1:All right, and welcome back to another episode. Thank y'all so much for being here. If you are watching me on youtube, please go ahead and like and subscribe to the channel. If you're listening on the podcast platform, please leave a review. Those greatly help me out. Also, make sure you become a supporter of the show. You can be a month supporter. You can choose the amount either $3, $5, $8, or $10, and you can cancel at any time you choose to. So today is going to be a real important episode and I'm glad y'all are listening to this one.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about imposter syndrome and, in particular, particular with knowing how to navigate the feeling of inability or the feeling of unworthiness, because that happens Right, especially if you're in a season when you're really trying to level up whether that's in our career, your business, your relationships, your health goals you should actually expect that you're going to feel resistance from time to time, because you've never done what you're pushing to do right now. So the goal of this episode is to remind you, or show you why and how you are capable of making that dream and goal a reality, and that you are capable of making progress in the right direction. So let's dive in, and first let me read you the definition of imposter syndrome. So imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a quote unquote fraud. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve all they have achieved. They incorrectly attribute their success to luck or interpret it as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be. First off, wow, the first time I came across this subject, I really had to look in the mirror, and it's something I've been working on for a while now. And even still, it still can be a struggle, and a lot of folks struggle with this.
Speaker 1:Studies show that women, especially, experience this. People feel like they either don't deserve a certain success, for whatever reason, or they don't actually call their shot because they're scared that it might actually work out and give them a larger burden of responsibilities and expectations placed on them and they don't think they can actually handle it. Or they're scared of other folks seeing it not work out for them because, underneath it all, they can feel like they aren't actually worthy of success or that they don't think they're capable of becoming that person who can achieve those things they want to achieve. And I hear a lot of folks talk like this and tell me if this sounds familiar. They say things like well, I can never do that. Or well, she can do that because of X, y, z and I can't because I don't have X, y, z. They place all these limitations on themselves and justify why they can't do something, why they aren't capable.
Speaker 1:And the thing is one we forget that everybody sucks when they first start something. We do, like I said a few episodes ago, when me and Bobby first did our first episode, I said that even though I was already happy with the new look, I knew that we would look back one day road at the very first episode and it would be cringeworthy. Well, we didn't have to wait long because there was a big difference in how good it looked from episode one, just episode two, and if you're listening on a podcast platform you can't see, but I put a clip on the screen of the first one and you can see how much better the lighting is now compared to then. Anyway, like I said, we forget that everybody sucks at things the first time they try. And two, we can start to feel like imposters when we actually start to see some success in something and we literally forget that we earned it. Right, for example, and I use my performances up in St Cloud as an example on here a lot, but I learned so much about myself and have so many things that relates to what we talked about on here.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, so, if you haven't heard, for the last four years I get invited to perform my music up a st Cloud for Juneteenth. It's a paid gig, one that's amazing. That is for Juneteenth and I get. I can do my music as part of the city of st Cloud's celebration for Juneteenth and I get paid. That's amazing.
Speaker 1:But the imposter syndrome I had to check myself on was when last year, I got asked to be the headliner, which again is amazing, and of course I was proud of myself and excited and nervous and grateful, all the things, but there was this little voice in my head. It was reminding me that I know the guy who runs the Juneteenth event for the city. We actually went to college together and my imposter, imposter syndrome was telling me that the reason I got the gig was because I knew him and that's why he chose me. And I'm sure you can hear it already. Right, I was downplaying my own success and I didn't have to. I didn't even notice it at first. I was telling folks about it and the way I would tell them is I would be like, yeah, the dude who runs it, he knew me from college and so he gave me the opportunity. Or, yeah, I went to school with the guy who runs it and so he asked me to be the headliner. And, yes, did we go to school? Yep, we sure did.
Speaker 1:But that doesn't mean or that doesn't take away from all the work I had put in building up my brand and support. It doesn't take away from the fact that I have talent, that my music has substance, that I'm the kind of artist that would be chosen to perform on Juneteenth, because there are people who we went to school with that do music, people that he knows. And yet he chose me. And I had to check myself on that. I had to remind myself that I was worthy, that I earned it, and that's something a lot of folks struggle with.
Speaker 1:We earn the progress we're making and then we start to question ourselves and we start to self-sabotage because we've never been at that level and we tell ourselves it was luck. We tell ourselves that the only reason I'm seeing progress and people are noticing me right and telling me they see progress is because it's just. And then other times we just we just don't know how to handle it. Yet, right, the success we start to see, we don't have the skills to handle it. So we say things like I'm just not capable of it, right, oh, I've never gone beyond this point. I don't know if I can actually be better than this.
Speaker 1:And again, a lot of this is in our subconscious and we don't even recognize it that we do it. And there are so many directions. I could take this episode, but there's so many differences. I can take this episode Slow down, dutch. There are so many directions. I can take this episode, but I want to leave you with this episode as a reminder of how much control you actually have.
Speaker 1:Yes, there is a lot in this world that we can't control, but what we can control is our thoughts, which then drive our behaviors and our actions, and we can can control how intentional we are with controlling our negative thoughts and calling out our BS when it comes to validating those negative thoughts, those thoughts about who we are and what our capabilities are and what we're not capable of. And one thing I want us to do, which I think is really, really important, is to not think of this imposter syndrome as a completely negative thing. I think it's important for us to realize that the reason we're having these imposter thoughts in our head is because we're trying to go after things we've never done before, and if you are having these thoughts while you're working towards it, that means that you're literally in the process of leveling up to the next version of you. You have to expect that these thoughts and feelings are going to pop up. We should actually celebrate it, because that means that you are actually right where you need to be. You are becoming that person, and the imposter syndrome is getting you on track, getting closer to where you want to go. It's part of the process, because the fact that you're feeling some imposter syndrome after you've got some positive results, or even if you've never even started. Those imposter feelings are letting you know that you're looking right in the face of progress, whether you're seeing it or whether you're going after it. And know that, as you're on this journey and you feel like an imposter, or you feel like somebody is going to find out that you're a quote-unquote fraud and that you may not be qualified, know that, by you putting in this work and working towards more success, that this is the actual process in real time of you qualifying yourself.
Speaker 1:And when you're feeling like you aren't worthy of success or you feel like you might not be able to handle it when it comes in question those thoughts, of course you don't know if you can handle it yet because you've never been there. How could you understand if you can handle it? Of course, right, you literally are becoming that person, right here, right now. Every single day that you show up for yourself, every single moment or every minute that you put into it, you are becoming that person that can handle it. And when you begin to ask yourself these questions, it's a very normal human thing to do. Right, that's part of growth. That's part of chasing goals and, like I always say, success is not linear. There are all kinds of twists and turns. It's a roller coaster, right, and with those turns, expect the emotions to be a roller coaster too, all kinds of emotions.
Speaker 1:So what if you decided to change your thinking around this imposter syndrome? What if, instead of resisting all these negative thoughts and feelings and telling yourself that you're not on the right track or that you're not capable, what if you got to a point mentally where you expect them to come and say OK, here it is, this is what I expected. I'm expecting the ups and downs, this is part of the journey. Recognize that you can't have highs without lows. You can't have the excitement and drive without being anxious sometimes, because this actually means that you are on the right path. It's normal. There's nothing wrong with you. It's just being human, being on a growth journey.
Speaker 1:Dealing with this now will further equip you for dealing with this in the future, when you level up and reach even higher levels, because the reality of it all is this is never going to go away, because you're constantly going to be leveling up in your life, especially if you're the kind of person to be listening to this kind of podcast. Right now. You are focused on personal growth, right, so know this if you're in a season where you're lost and you feel like you don't know what you're doing right now, it doesn't mean that you're lost. It just means that you don't know where you're going yet. And the key word is yet.
Speaker 1:A lot of times, stress and anxiety comes when we don't know it all. We want to see this crystal clear path that we can follow step by step, but in reality, newness doesn't feel balanced, right. Handling something that you've never done before won't feel natural and you won't feel equipped and elevating to that next level. And doing something you've never done before isn't always fun. And it feels like you're juggling too much right, like you have one foot in quicksand trying to juggle all the things in your life with the other foot on solid ground. That represents the old, simple, less complicated life that you're used to, and you don't see how you can possibly keep that foot in quicksand. It feels unstable, but it won't feel like that forever, and let me tell you it won't be, because it'll get easier.
Speaker 1:Like I said, these feelings will come no matter what, but you'll get better at managing your perspective and expecting this contrast of feelings, and your toolbox will get bigger, right for handling all these thoughts and feelings as well as we grow. So when you feel this imposter syndrome and you welcome it and you realize that it's normal, right, and you don't tell yourself that this be a story, that you're not on the right path or that you can't do it, right, you will figure out how to manage that anxiety. You'll be building up this mental toolbox for future moments just like this. And another thing and I have to get better at this, my damn self but along the way, take a moment to clap for yourself a little more, because you're doing a lot of hard work to be where you are right now. And you're doing a lot of hard work to be where you are right now and you're doing a lot of hard work to get to where you want to go. Well, you have to do a lot of hard work to get to where you want to go.
Speaker 1:Look for those reasons to congratulate yourself along the way of why you are seeing success. When you feel this imposter syndrome, take some time to remind yourself that you're gracious, right, that you're a good person and you have been working your ass off to get to where you are now. And hell yes, you deserve the success that you're seeing. Hell yes, you're qualified. You're qualifying yourself as we speak. You're putting in the work right now to become that woman or man who deserves that success, the success that you've had and the success that you will get if you keep on going, because you will so be proud of that progress that you're making. And remember an imposter is someone who pretends to be someone else, but you can't be an imposter if you're just being you. So keep showing up for yourself, keep taking it one day at a time, keep reminding yourself. It's not always going to be easy, because when are you really proud of yourself for taking the easy route right? The easy route will not show you what you are truly capable of.
Speaker 1:So from me to you you got this Keep going, yes, you are, yes, you can. So that's what I got for you today. Please go ahead and become a supporter of my show. You can choose the amount. It can either be three, five, eight or ten dollars monthly. You can cancel any time. Also, if you want to make a one time donation, you can do that as well. I left links in the description for all of that. But let's go ahead and get to this music. The song I got for you today is called money. Let that inspire you to lead me a little bit. All right, let's ride out.
Speaker 1:See, I've been thinking about money a lot lately, so I woke up this morning and let my knees hit the turf. You better thank God you're still on this earth. You better be stacking cake like making dessert. Whatever I spend, I'm trying to get reimbursed and they want to show. It's a good thing I rehearsed, I'm on a wave. It's a good thing I can surf, pick up my phone two missed calls from her. I swear having the magic stick is having the gift and the curse, because I know she missed me. She wasn't big. As soon as she get in from work I get sweat on my shirt. Now she can't find her skirt. She put that thing in reverse.
Speaker 1:They see me in public. I don't say much. They probably think I'm a jerk. Sometimes I'm an introvert, sometimes I wanna be by myself. I hope your feelings ain't hurt. It's just what I prefer, how I do my best work and I took the time out. My squad converse. They all like me. We all take three. My nigga. I feel like steve kirk, but that's what I want to see. I set my goals and they've been unfolding right in front of me. Can't imitate me or duplicate me, because it's only one of me. I plan for the future and learn from the past, hopefully make a little more cash. Look in the mirror like boy. Goddamn, what have you done to me? All I've been thinking is money trees. Money. Don't grow on trees, my nigga. I still be looking for money seeds. Put that in my dungarees. I give it exactly the way that it come to me. Watch how you talking in front of me. You think this funny. I've been thinking about this Money.
Speaker 2:Thinking about this cash. You play with mine and I'm on your ass.
Speaker 1:I'm thinking about this, thank you. I feel like money be feeling so good. It's better than PAC. So pass me that and I relax, but not for long, cause I'll be back. I feel like a baker when it come to this bread, cause I need that. And if you ain't helping me eat, I don't need your feedback. I need some cash. Too much pride is the reason I don't ask. I'ma take what I got and make it last, but I won't sit on my ass, won't sit here feeling bad. Got on my grind, I gave it everything I have. I feel like Martin McFly. Every time I came back I put in an overdrive and left that bullshit in the past. Yeah, and I bet not see you laugh. You bet not made me mad. Think this funny. I've been thinking about this.
Speaker 2:Thinking about this cash. You play with my eye and I'm on your ass. I'm thinking about this money. Thinking about this cash. You play with mine and I'm on your ass Money. Thinking about this cash. This guy.