Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Breaking Free From Who You Think You Are
We develop our attitudes, beliefs, and feelings by observing our own behaviors. The Self-Perception Theory provides a powerful framework for understanding ourselves and creating meaningful change.
• Nothing about you is permanently fixed—not your personality, habits, or even your physical body
• Your entire body replaces itself every 7-10 years with 330 billion cells replaced daily
• Being triggered reveals where you're not free and shows what you need to heal
• Cognitive dissonance is valuable feedback showing where growth is needed
• When emotions run high, logic runs low—calm yourself before analyzing triggers
• Step outside your metaphorical jar to read your own label objectively
• Question whether your beliefs align with your actions and who you want to become
• Change requires looking honestly at yourself, even when uncomfortable
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Losing myself and finding my strength, came to the conclusion that I want it all, feeling that pressure of trying to do better. I want to reach heights, but too scared to fall, too scared to fail. You're way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying. That's terrifying. I understand that. Chasing my goals are burying my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know If I want to grow. You reap what you sow. That be the case. Planting my seeds and watering my base. Yeah, I make mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes.
Speaker 1:The people that act like you crazy but trying to stay far away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate. Yeah, they hate themselves cause they on the shelf while you create a life that you love, a life that you love Loving the fact you improving yourself, decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do what the road got.
Speaker 1:Bumping your foot on the pedal. You go up a level, you turn up whenever it's time for you to go. Put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. My thing is for sure, yeah, until they put me in this earth, before I ride in that hearse, I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love, and the fact you improving yourself Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it. The road got bumping your foot in the gutter. I'm chasing my goals.
Speaker 1:All right, and welcome back to another episode. If you are watching me on youtube, go ahead and like this video. Drop me a comment, like and subscribe to my channel. All of that. If you are listening on a podcast platform, please leave me a review. Those help me out a whole lot. Also, please become a monthly supporter. You can choose the amount. It could be three, five or ten dollars and you can cancel at any time. So great deal.
Speaker 1:All right, let's go ahead and dive in. Let's talk about how you can change your beliefs in order to hit your potential. Let's talk about how you can change your beliefs in order to hit your potential. Let's talk about how you can change your beliefs in order to hit your potential. We're going to dive into something I came across called the self-perception theory and we're going to take a deep dive and look at who you are as a person, and we're all on this self-improvement journey right, and one of the main things you need in order to get any progress or to be able to make any changes is you have to have self-awareness. And what I'm going to do today is help you to truly understand yourself within the framework of the self-perception theory. So self-perception how you perceive yourself, right, when you look at yourself, when you think about yourself. So this theory comes from a psychologist named Darrell Bem I think that's how you say that back in 1972. And the theory basically says that we develop our attitude and our beliefs and our feelings based off observing our own behaviors, and come to the conclusion about ourselves, on what made us act and think and respond the way we did. So introspection, right, self observation.
Speaker 1:A lot of times we can do things that we don't actually think about why we're doing them, how it's affecting us, how it's affecting our mindsets, our lives, other people and a lot of times we don't take a step back and ask ourselves is this something I want to keep doing? We'd be like, oh yeah, that's just me, that's just how I am, how I always been. I always been a little angry, I always had a short fuse. That's just who I am, and that ain't true. That ain't who you are. That ain't at the root of who you are as a person. That's who you decided to be, who you chose to become over some period of time, and nothing is set in stone. Also, you weren't born that way. Things happen along in your life and that got you here. So if there's something about your life or something about yourself that you don't like, you can decide to change it. You can Same thing with your beliefs. Nothing is that way. Nothing is what it is forever. Change is the only thing in the universe that is a forever constant. There will always be change. To think that you are the way you are and it's going to be that way forever, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:Your entire body changes every seven to ten years. Literally, your cells in your body are constantly replacing themselves all seven trillion of them. Your body replaces 330 billion cells per day. Your body replaces 330 billion cells per day. Your body replaces 330 billion cells per day. Your skin is completely replaced every few weeks. Your colon is replaced every three to five days, including your bones right. Your bones take around 10 years to completely replace themselves every 10 years. So literally your body is different every 10 years. There is no part of you that is the same, except for the way you choose to think and that you choose to act. You are the one deciding to stay the same, right, and that is consciously or unconsciously. Either way, it's a decision. It's a choice. But if you want to stay the same person, you probably wouldn't be listening to this podcast, right?
Speaker 1:The fact that you're here means that there is something you want to change your life, your thoughts, your habits, your relationships, your goals and how you attack them, right? So how do we use this self-perception theory? And it's actually kind of simple. You observe and question everything about yourself, everything about yourself, start to test the validity of all the thoughts you have. Okay, so maybe not that simple, but, like I said before, it's a.
Speaker 1:It's kind of a funny quote I came across, and it's when you're in the jar, you can't read your own label, meaning, when you're in your own mind, you can't actually step back and look at yourself and be perceptive of all the things you do every day. So you have to take yourself out of the jar, out of your mind, and look at yourself as if you're a different person. Looking back at yourself, look at yourself in the third person. You got to say, okay, the way this person just reacted, that person being me, the way I just reacted to this thing. Is that the kind of person I want to be? Is that how I want to react to something like this? Is it who I truly am? Okay, so I got triggered by something. Is this the way I truly am? Do I want to be the kind of person who responds like that?
Speaker 1:Now, one of the things I had to do and change and if you watch me on YouTube and you can see it being in front of the camera, that used to be hard for me. It's hard for a lot of people, right, even now I still ain't fully 100 percent comfortable, but on a scale of one to 10, I'm probably at a six and a half seven, right, and you probably can't tell, but that's because I'm pushing myself to do it. I know I wanted to upgrade this podcast and I had something like 200 episodes that I put out, right, so damn close to that, without ever being in front of the camera, and that just ain't how this works, right, I had to get over that fear. I had to read the label on the jar recognize that I was hiding from that fear, right? And I just say oh well, I'm not. Just, I'm not comfortable in front of the camera, so I can't do that kind of podcast, right? Read that label on the outside of the jar.
Speaker 1:Self-perception self-perception requires a lot of reflection and looking inward, and most people won't do it. Most folks can just be lazy and would rather do nothing, right, they would rather think they can't change and don't even bother to attempt it. Like I say all the time on here, the majority of the folks you know won't ever even try this kind of self-development, right? Even when they know they should. So ask yourself this thought process, right, is this who I want to be in the future? And if the answer is no, then you have to change it. But it takes work. If you ain't going to do the work, then you're wasting your time. Listen to me, right? You might as well listen to something else that make you feel better or do something else. Listen to me, right, you might as well listen to something else that make you feel better or do something else. But I know you will do the work. That's why you're here.
Speaker 1:But the self-perception works because it pulls up two psychological principles. One is cognitive dissonance and the second is inferential insight. Inferential insight I definitely had to research on that one. But with cognitive dissonance, it's having this tension that pops up when your behaviors conflict with your attitude or your personality Right, or with who you believe yourself to be, or when you say, when you say, something that conflicts with who you believe yourself to be Right, conflicts with your beliefs in some kind of way. Cognitive dissonance is a good thing to have because it shows you where you're stuck. Cognitive dissonance is a good thing to have because it shows you where you're stuck Now. Inferential insight is basically your ability to place meaning or conclusions on your observations. Right, you have observations whether that's cognitive dissonance or any regular observation about who you are or who you believe to be, and then you come to the conclusion about what it all means.
Speaker 1:So let's say you have a moment of cognitive dissonance. Right, something happens to you that's the opposite of who you believe yourself to be. Let's say you're going to work, or you're going to the store, or you meet a friend and you're out in public somewhere. Either something happens to you or somebody says something to you and you get triggered. You feel that dissonance. You feel that thing inside you that disrupts your peace. You feel like a situation you're in don't really align with who you are and what you are worth. Right, that's a big one. Let's say you went from having a cool day to now something inside you ain't happen. No more. Right, might be pissed off, might be anxious, might be sad, might be irritated, fearful, whatever it may be, these moments are some of the best moments to show you who you are. Being triggered shows you where you're stuck. Everybody tries to go through life. That's me included. We try to go through life without ever feeling triggered. But, like it says, it shows you where you're not free.
Speaker 1:So ask yourself why am I triggered? At first, you have to take a second to calm yourself down, right, like the saying says. Like the saying goes, when emotions run high, logic runs low. And that's actually true. Science shows this is facts. When your emotions are high, right, angry, sad, anxious, frustrated your logic is low.
Speaker 1:And what happens when you get this way? It turns off the part of your brain called the prefrontal cortex right, and you end up not getting as much blood to your prefrontal cortex right and you end up not getting as much blood to your prefrontal cortex and you don't actually think as well. It's where your executive functioning comes from. That's why folks get in arguments, ugly arguments, and they end up saying things they regret a few hours later because their logic is low. One second, give me some water, because my throat is acting a fool. Oh, sorry about that. We gonna keep rolling, though, but I don't know if you can hear, but there's something in the back of my throat and it is tearing me up right now. Okay, this, hand me up right now. Okay.
Speaker 1:But like I was saying is, when folks have those ugly arguments and they end up saying things that they regret a few hours later because logic is low, you end up thinking. You end up thinking to yourself that you never should have said that, you never should let it get that far, but you, and it's because your prefrontal cortex wasn't working at full capacity. So, again, the first thing you should do is calm down. Calm yourself down, take deep breaths, remove yourself from that situation and then start asking yourself questions. When you become triggered, become interested, say hmm, okay, what is that? Take yourself out of the jar, read the label again. Calm yourself down first, but get curious. Why did I act like that.
Speaker 1:My boss says something. It triggered me. Why, figure out what's going on. What was I thinking? What led me to feel this way? Right, let's say your boss. My boss says something to me. It made me feel underappreciated. And I feel underappreciated because I've been busting my ass at work and I feel underappreciated and then I don't feel valued. And if my boss don't value me, then how long will I actually be at this job? Right, figure out what happened inside you and once you do, then question the validity of those thoughts. Then question the validity of those thoughts Like OK, so my boss said this thing to me. Does it actually mean they don't value me as an employee? No-transcript, did they mean? Did they even mean it for me to take it that way in the first place? Or am I just triggered because I'm tired, because I've been busting my ass for the past month? Right, then you can say well, look at that, I'm figuring out.
Speaker 1:When I have a lot on my plate, I can find myself getting triggered when I don't feel like the work I'm doing is being appreciated. Right, how do I get past that? How do I navigate these situations for the future? Because I'm a hardworking person, I'm good at my job. What do I need to do in order to not end up back here? And this could get uncomfortable, right, it can, especially if you start digging deeper on most serious things that trigger you.
Speaker 1:You can wind up going down a road, a long road, figuring out that some things from your childhood are manifesting themselves right in front of you as an adult, things from you being a teenager, right, like for me, and this may seem like a real obvious one for you, but for me I'm just finding this out within the last few years, but the death of my mom when I was 15 still has effects on me now. Surprise, surprise, right, but for the longest and I still struggle with this I struggle with opening up to people. So many times people tell me I'm closed off or I don't open up, especially when it comes to talking about my mama People, people ask me about the death and how it was for me, and I literally was starting to get annoyed. I would get frustrated, right, thinking to myself well damn, get out of my damn business. Like, why are you asking me all these personal questions? And my responses would always be short to them, right, and not detailed at all, and I would hardly talk about her death in general, I would hardly even talk about my childhood like that. But I had to realize slowly, of course, again, I'm just not figuring this out but I had to realize yo gotcha, this ain't normal. How many folks do you know who have lost a parent and don't have no problem at all talking about them? How many times has somebody who has also lost their mama or father start having a conversation about it and you feel this tug inside you and you do not feel like talking about your mama right now. Right, even though y'all have this shared life experience of losing a parent, this ain't normal. It's okay to open up to people about that. They're literally opening up to you about it right now. You triggered. So, like I said, I said that to say that figuring out what your triggers are and why it can lead to you being uncomfortable, right, a lot of folks don't want to do that, and the thing is, all of these things are inside of us. Right, if I was to take an orange and squeeze it, what would come out? Orange juice. Same thing with humans. If you take us and you put us under pressure, what comes out? Well, anger, frustration, anxiety, fear, unspoken traumas, unhealed broken relationships, pain. It's all in us. We're human and when we get triggered it pops up, it gets squeezed out of us.
Speaker 1:Being triggered is actually a gift. It shows you where you ain't free. It's a gift. It shows you what you have to work on so you can improve yourself. But it takes that information, insight. It takes you looking within and figuring out the root of it.
Speaker 1:So, going back to the self-perception theory, what are your beliefs about yourself? Figure out if those beliefs you've been living by, the belief that you identify with, that you told yourself this is who I am, how I am. Find out if they align with your actions right, with who you're becoming, with who you want to become. Then take a look at the actions you take and ask yourself are these actions in alignment with who I am and who I want to be, and where I'm going and who I'm becoming? And again, simple but not easy. Right, it takes time, it takes intention to remove yourself out of your own head when you get triggered Right or when something happens. But if you can do this, you can start to change yourself. If you really want to change, you got to start looking outside your own jar and looking at the label, because you can't see it while you're inside it, and that's just where you're triggered, right?
Speaker 1:I don't spend a lot of time on talking about triggers, but beliefs, about how you think the world sees you, about the kind of person you want to become and what you're doing right now? Right, and what you're doing right now as you work towards that goal you have. Are these things in alignment with that? Right? Self-perception plays a very important role in who we actually become. So that's what I got for you today a short and sweet one, um. So again, please become a supporter of the show. You can choose the amount three, five, eight or ten dollars. You can cancel at any time, but let's go ahead and ride out to this music.
Speaker 1:The song I got for you today is soul food. Let's ride out. Yeah, you see, people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. People will never forget how you made them feel. Rest in peace, maya Angelou. She always kept it real. See, I wanna make you feel it deep down in your soul, like a home cooked meal.
Speaker 1:I'm talking soul food. I'm talking high quality, like whole foods. I'm talking. You don't need no mood ring for you to see. I changed my whole mood because I had to. It's some things, god, let me go through because I had to.
Speaker 1:Reflecting on my life. See, I got this soul food. I wanted fast food. I should have put a seat belt around my arm, as in cashews, the way it drove me nuts. Right now it's a feast. Too afraid of the famine made me eat too much. Hopefully I don't speak too much as our eyes close and heads bow Supposed to be grace and sound like prayer.
Speaker 1:Damn, I'm stressed out. Please forgive me, but I've been stressed out, lord knows. I've been stressed out but I keep smiling, poking my chest out, my navigation broken because I can't find the best route. Ain't nothing stopping I. Stay going, my closet, pulling my best out. I'm glad you came. I hope you hungry. Let me pull your chair out.
Speaker 1:I made some soul food. Yeah, some food for thought. Don't be rude, don't throw salt. My name Ain't food. Keep it out your mouth, I know you. See, I got sauce. I'm from the boo. That's Hot sauce. I stay true to myself and keep it a hundred. Something that can't be Ain't Beef or gravy, don't forget it's take three.
Speaker 1:I stir the pot like jambalaya and that's work to my auntie, cause I been feeling hungry. Now I'm feeling hangry. I feeling like I'm the tightest. Some of y'all got the itis like you eating barbecue, chicken, macaroni with a side of baked beans. Yeah, they sleeping on me, chip on my shoulder, eating good, so I keep it on me.
Speaker 1:I made my own lane by myself and ain't even lonely like what up. I had to pull some bread out to buy some greens on fresh out, because I need a blunt as long as a dreadlock. I feel like I'm a psychic. I know I'm making your head nod. I know I really need to stay focused. Just let go and let God.
Speaker 1:Christmas came, I pull out the bourbon. This ain't for no eggnog and it for no soul food. Yeah, and I hate being broke with a passion. Had to hustle. I made it happen. Every time I start making cabbage or collard greens or mustard greens, I turn up. Yeah, I used to trust. Everybody had to break the habit. Nowadays, if I don't know you, I don't trust you.
Speaker 1:Like potato salad, nowadays it don't take much to be small things that make me happy. I just want some fried chicken wings and red beans made by my granny. Rest in peace to my granny. Rest in peace to Everybody I ever lost in my family. Rest in peace to my mama. Rest in peace to everybody I ever lost in my family. Rest in peace to my mama.
Speaker 1:Some things in life just gotta happen. I probably need therapy. At least I'm aware of it. That's why I sound like a vet when I'm rapping. I probably should talk about shit when it happen, for whatever reason. It don't feel manly. I need some soul food.
Speaker 1:I'm in the kitchen. I wanna cook for ya. I'll even do the dishes, so Stay a while. You see me with a smile. Don't mean I'm weak, so don't try. Ain't nothing sweet but potato pie? Speaking of pie, I need me a slice. I'm talking financial stability. I'm done with humble pie. I'm just a humble guy. I gotta switch up my energy. I gotta get my head together, cause I don't know what they got into me. I can't let quarantine get to me, starting to get to me mentally. It go to my head. Somebody make me a plate. I'm going to bed, but I'm still thankful. You better thank the Lord for your daily bread, cause you got a soul and you got to feed the soul. It got to stay fed and wash it down with some Kool-Aid. Guess what flavor? You know it's red. Who got the dominoes? Who got the spades? Uno, you know I pled. You don't know how. You better not sit down, no-transcript.