Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
From Contemplation to Action: Overcoming Fear and Moving Forward
What's keeping you stuck in that contemplation stage, endlessly weighing decisions that deep down you know you need to make? Sometimes the biggest obstacle to living the life we want isn't the external circumstances . Most of the time it comes down to our tendency to overthink, catastrophize, and delay action while waiting for "perfect" conditions.
The truth is uncomfortably simple: inaction creates more inaction. The longer you wait to make that career change, have that difficult conversation, end that relationship, or pursue that passion project, the more difficult it becomes. We justify our hesitation with labels like "I'm a perfectionist" or "I'm a worrier," but these self-imposed limitations only keep us stagnant. Let's dive in!
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I'm in mistakes goals. I bury my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know if I want to grow, you reap what you sow. That be the case, planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes, the people that act like you. Crazy but trying this, they fall away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate. Yeah, they hate themselves because they on the shelf While you create a life that you love, a life that you love Loving the fact you're improving yourself.
Speaker 1:Decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do what the road got bumping your foot on the pedal. You go up a level. You turn up whenever it's time for you to go put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. One thing is for sure yeah, until they put me in this earth before I ride in that hearse, I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love and affect to improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it, to go got punky. Good for them. I'm chasing my goals, all right, and thank you for being here.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to another episode. If you are watching me on youtube, go ahead and give this episode a like and subscribe to my channel. If you're on a podcast platform, please leave me a review and also become a monthly. If you're on a podcast platform, please leave me a review and also become a monthly supporter of the show. You can choose the amount. It can either be three, five, eight or ten dollars, and you can cancel at any time. Let's go ahead and jump in. Also, if you're on a podcast platform and you want to watch along with me, I left the link for the YouTube in the description of the podcast, something I've never done before until now, but better late than never. Anyway, here we go.
Speaker 1:Today, let's talk about being stuck, being stuck in a certain stage or area and y'all know what I mean that wishy-washy, contemplating, gray area and I want to help you just call your shot and to do what you need to do so you can just get out of your own damn way right, to get out of this contemplation stage and just take some action. And this is going to be a real quick one, real short and sweet. So let's dive in. And I want you to think about this idea Right now. You know that you need to make a change, whether it's quitting a job or ending a relationship, or changing your career path or moving, or having that tough conversation with their loved one or their friend or their family member that you know you have to have, or finally prioritizing your health, all right, or you call your shot and finally start that podcast or that blog or that Etsy shop, or you buy that plane ticket for that trip.
Speaker 1:You might be all up in your head about making this decision and doing what we all do at times, which is we catastrophize and we make it into a bigger deal than it needs to be and it ends up wasting so much of our time mentally and physical time and we stress over it and we stress over it, and that's exhausting and time waits for nobody. The longer you wait, the longer it don't get done. And remember, like I always say, inaction creates more inaction. If you're not doing anything, it's easy as hell to keep on not doing anything, and it ain't because you ain't capable or worthy, it ain't like you can't do it, but you keep telling yourself that you, that the moment ain't right right now, or that you're waiting for the circumstances to be perfect, and you convince yourself and you rationalize, not taking action towards getting the way you want to be, even though you know that, right, you know that by not taking action, you are not getting any closer to it. We know this, and yet we still can struggle with this. And yet we still can struggle with this. And the thing is, we know that the time is now. We have to get out of these contemplation stages and focus on just getting to the other side, to the end of making that decision.
Speaker 1:I know how it can be to have uncertainty, to call your shot on something and not know what the outcome is going to be and how scary that might feel. As humans, we crave that certainty. Right, we get to worrying about what other folks think about us, right, what we're doing, how they may not think it's good, how we might embarrass ourselves and we psych ourselves out and we don't take the action. And we have to stop letting these labels keep us stagnant Labels, right, oh, I'm a perfectionist, oh, I'm a worrier, or I'm the kind of person who takes a long time to make important decisions, important decisions, and, yes, you should want what you're doing to be good, you should care about it and, yes, you should take time to assess what your decision is going to be, but it's when we stay there. That's the problem.
Speaker 1:So call yourself out on this. You are still being stagnant, worried about other people's judgment, and the thing is, you will never worried about other people's judgment, and the thing is, you will never be exempt from everybody's judgment Not everybody's. You are going to get judged, you're going to get criticized. It's going to happen, and when it does guess what? You will still be alive. You will still be able to keep it moving and keep going after your goals. You still be working on you, and that's what's the important part. That's what the important part is Now that you may feel unsure, now that somebody else even has an opinion about you in the first place, because no matter what you do or don't do, somebody is going to have something to say. Everybody is going through life trying to be successful and people project their definition of success onto you and what they think it should look like.
Speaker 1:And the irony of it, all, right, and I'm 100 percent guilty of this, but we spend so much time thinking about what other folks are thinking about us, and the whole time they ain't even think about us. What are they thinking about? Guess what they are thinking about them. They're thinking about what everybody else is thinking about them and how they fit in all this. Yes, and think about it, and I can guarantee you right now, if you scroll through your timeline on Facebook or Instagram, the majority of the folks that you see in your friends list, once you pass them and you keep scrolling, you stop thinking about them. They gone. Most of the folks, if we're being honest, most of the folks in our friends list will be not on social media, right, and we actually, when we actually see their name, we are not thinking about them unless we see it Ain't no way. Yes, some of them, yes, but the majority, hell, no. So let's just all let it go, just breathe, let it go.
Speaker 1:Our perfectionism, our perfectionist tendencies, will have you waiting around for the time to be just right, and that is robbing you of potential impact, robbing you of joy and happiness and success and fulfillment and living the life that you truly want to be living, getting closer to having that life that you want to be living, right. We have to detach from the idea that it's going to be perfect, that everybody has to like it, since when. The reality is, it won't ever be perfect and we already know that. And I've really been working on this and it's the reason I can even say watch me on YouTube, believe it or not. I am outside my comfort zone right now, believe it or not, and that discomfort is way less than it used to be, but it's because I've been doing it, I'm pushing through it and I know that if I want to grow this podcast, if I truly want to grow it, I'm going to have to have visual content. My episodes have to be available to watch, and I knew when me and Bobby started that the first one wasn't going to be the best one. Right, there's no way it will. It's my first one.
Speaker 1:Nobody is great at something. They first try, but, just like everything else I've been doing, I got better at it and I'm getting better at it. And there comes a point when I look back and I say, god damn, is that what I used to sound like? Is that what it used to look like? Yuck, I'm so much better now that that stuff back then is cringeworthy. But again, nobody is great at something on their first try. But it's better to get the bad out of the way right now, because the sooner you do, the sooner you can get to it being great.
Speaker 1:But also understand that it'll never be perfect. Perfect is made up and really everybody's definition of perfect is only true for them, only true in their own minds. Don't waste your time and energy trying to achieve perfect. That is wasted energy, because a lot of times, a lot of those decisions that we need to make and we contemplate on them, a lot of times, all we have to do is just make it and then go take action towards making it happen. But instead this contemplation season starts and the longer you wait, the harder it gets. The longer you sit on the decision, the harder it gets to actually get started, because you give yourself way too much time to think about it. Just let it go.
Speaker 1:How much sense does it make to care about the decisions and opinions of people that you really don't even talk about or talk to or see? I'm talking about social media. Yeah, they are actually actual, real people, but most of them you don't even see. Them only on social media, the majority of them. The only time I think about you is when you pop up on a timeline, then, once they keep scrolling, you gone. And no, I'm not talking about loved ones, right, I'm talking about the ones that we see on our timeline. And you know how this is because we see so much throughout the day. On average, did you know this? On average, we scroll on our phones the length of the Empire State Building every day. The length of the Empire State Building every day. That's how far we scroll every day. So how much time are those folks online really thinking about you? They're not you gone. Once they pass you, you gone.
Speaker 1:So I have a question for you and I'm gonna wrap this up. I'm about to close, like pastors say, a simple question what if you just went for it? What if you just did it? Hmm, here's what you do. Go ahead, play it out in your head, the worst case scenario. I mean the worst. Let's say you wanted to start a career. Start your career all the way over and go after something else. Right, play out that worst case scenario Question Is it going to kill you? Will you die? No, I'm talking about a realistic worst case scenario, right? So will you die? No, like I said a couple of episodes ago. Only 8% of our fears come true Only 8%. So whatever that worst case scenario you have in your head, there's a 92% chance that it won't even happen. I don't know about you, but I like them odds. So think about that the next time you feel fear holding you back about something. Right, all the things you worry about. Only 8% of them will come true. So what are you really waiting on? You ain't gonna die.
Speaker 1:So instead of listening to all the reasons why you can't do something, ask yourself why the hell not? Why not you? As soon as you take that action in the right direction, as soon as you stop the contemplating and you just do it even if you do it scared do that thing scared, you're still doing it. And as soon as you make that choice, as soon as you start to send that text, you make that post, you send that email, you make that phone call. All the weight and that contemplation that's weighing on you is gone. Because you did it, you made the decision. Nothing left to ponder about. Now you can have that brain space back. Now you have something to actually work towards. Now you're one step closer to becoming the kind of person who achieves those things because you currently are not that person yet, because if you were, it would be done already. So become that person and that's what making those kind of decisions, taking those kind of actions, does for you. It gets you started on the journey. So rip that bandaid off.
Speaker 1:People may not like it at first, they may not get it at first, and that's OK. It's you that has to live with yourself, not them. Don't make the mistake of building a life based on the opinions of other people. I'm going to say that one again Don't make the mistake of building a life based on the opinions of other people. So let's get out of this contemplation stage, out of this gray area, and get to it. Will it be easy? No, because it was easy. It would not be worth going after Right. And if anybody believes, and if nobody believes that you can do it, let me tell you right now I believe in you. I believe in you. I do and I really mean that you wouldn't be all the way to the end of this episode of this kind of podcast if you didn't have it in you. So let's get it. That's what I got for you today. So please become a supporter of my show. Again, you can choose the amount. The amount three, five, eight or ten dollars. Go ahead and like and subscribe on YouTube and all that. Let's go ahead and get to this music. The song I got for you today is it all makes sense. That's right up. That all makes sense.
Speaker 1:I feel like like this song really touching me. I can feel the rush in me. Oh, what a feeling. It feel like I'm on a high, like I can touch the ceiling. I felt it in my heart right from the beginning. You can tell I'm a cancer out here talking about my feelings Not to be too touchy, but your words will never kill me. Hope you felt that. And I've been trying to touch a million. I wanna touch the finer things, wanna touch all kind of things.
Speaker 1:Take me Outro Music. I see progress, I see prosper. I can see the treetops, I swear. I hear the birds and that's music to my ears and I taste one of my tears thinking how I persevered. But you ain't got a touch to know I'm real. Close your eyes, you can hear. I tasted too many tears.
Speaker 1:It got me thinking If you really feel me, that all makes sense. You ain't got a touch to know I'm real. Close your eyes you can hear. I tasted too many tears. It got me thinking if you really feel me, uh, that all makes sense. I feel like you niggas' feelings never matter to me. I feel like Urkel family matters to me, feel me or not. I feel for George Floyd's family. His life matters to me.
Speaker 1:I feel like I can feel the damage in me, feel me or not, but I feel like I'm one of the realest rappers I see. I look around and look the same. As far as that I can see. You see it. You see my three fingers. You see me. Let them linger. I made my own lane. Won't ever see a blinker. Once saw myself as a failure. Let me tell you the victory never tastes sweeter. And keep my name out your mouth. I hope it tastes like ether. I wanna taste her deepest thoughts and desires. Do what it requires to keep her coming. I make sure she arrive. I watch the news. What a divide. It got us thinking different. And Donald Trump got white people out here thinking ignorant, thinking like some bigots, and think how that make me feel.
Speaker 1:But you ain't gotta touch. Yeah, see, I can't speak for nobody else but me. But believe me when I tell you. All I want for you to do is feel me. You feel me. You ain't got a touch to know I'm real. Close your eyes. You can hear I tasted too many tears. It got me thinking. And I'm not looking for no handouts or no pats on the back or no favors. I just want you to feel me. You ain't got a touch to know I'm real. Close your eyes. You ain't gotta touch Until now. I'm real. Close your eyes. You can hear I tasted too many tears. It got me thinking. If you really feel me, it all makes sense.