Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Suffering Is Necessary
Growth requires discomfort. Most of us have been conditioned to avoid pain and seek comfort. However, this creates boundaries that limit our potential. If we look at our current lives, we might figure out that we've already achieved the maximum possible within our current comfort zones. The only path to meaningful change is through unfamiliar territory.
Understanding the distinction between pain and suffering reveals a powerful insight: while pain is inevitable in life, suffering is optional. We can either be victims of our circumstances or use discomfort as a catalyst for growth. Take the first step today. Your future self will thank you for having the courage to embrace the discomfort that leads to transformation.
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Losing myself and finding my strength, came to the conclusion that I want it all, feeling that pressure of trying to do better. I wanna reach heights, but too scared to fall, too scared to fail. You're way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying. That's terrifying. I understand that. Chasing my goals are burying my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know if I wanna grow, you breathe what you sow. That be the case, planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes, the people that act like you crazy, but trying this, they fall away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate. Yeah, they hate themselves because they on the shelf.
Speaker 1:Why you create a life that you love, a life that you love Loving the fact you improving yourself, decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do what the road got. Bumping your foot on the pedal, you go up a level. You turn up whenever it's time for you to go put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. My thing is for sure. Yeah, until they put me in this earth, before I ride in that hearse. I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love and affect you, improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it, to go. Got bumping your foot in the gutter. I'm chasing my goals.
Speaker 1:All right, and welcome back to another episode. If you are watching me on youtube, please go ahead and like and subscribe to my channel and also thank y'all for being here. If you are listening to me on the podcast platform, please go ahead and leave me a review. All these things help me out a whole lot. Uh, also, it would be, uh, very appreciated if you became a monthly supporter. You can choose the amount you want. It can either be three, eight, five or ten dollars. You can cancel at any time and again, it's greatly appreciated and it helps me keep this thing going first.
Speaker 1:First of all, let me just say I apologize for not having an episode last week. I was on vacation. I was in Hawaii and I just didn't have the time. On top of being on vacation, there was also a deadline for a grant that I'm applying for, and if you ever apply for a grant, then you know it is a whole lot of work, and this one definitely was. It's whole lot of work and this one definitely was. It's a lot of money on the line and they ask a lot from you, so I had to extend some work while I was on hawaii, while I was on vacation in hawaii. So I'm back now. Um, unfortunately, if you are on youtube, you don't see my face because I haven't had a chance to get to the studio with bobby to record this thing on camera. So for right now you're just getting the audio, but it's still a good episode. I'm happy y'all here and I'm excited to give y'all this episode.
Speaker 1:Let's go ahead and jump in. Today we're going to talk about how to grow through suffering and how suffering is actually necessary for you to get the life you want. And it's from a concept called applied suffering. And let's talk about this suffering for a second. The word suffering it doesn't sound good right At all. Nobody wants to suffer while going through life. That word has a bad connotation. So first let's split up two words pain and suffering. Let's separate them so we can dive in a little more.
Speaker 1:So there's pain and pain is really inevitable in your life. There's no way around it. You are going to experience pain, no matter who you are. At some point you're going to have some scars, you're going to go through something, but suffering, on the other hand, is optional. There are some folks who are still suffering from an event, or suffering through the feelings and emotions of an event that happened 10 years ago. That is an option. These people are choosing to wake up and put themselves through that suffering. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is an option, but let's talk about how we can use suffering to actually grow. So pain is a stimulus, right, and the purpose of the stimulus is for your brain and your body to make a change.
Speaker 1:Let me give you an example. So let's say it's the middle of the summertime, it's a hot summer day and you're outside without no shoes on. And let's say you're on a blacktop, asphalt parking lot and, of course, in the middle of summer, that asphalt is going to be hot. It's going to be hot, very, very hot, and you don't have no shoes on. Fault is going to be hot. It's going to be hot, very, very hot, and you don't have no shoes on. So you are going to feel that heat. Your brain will send you a signal telling you hey, this is hot as hell, and that signal will encourage you to make a change. Right? Either you're going to have to change and put something on your feet, or you're going to have to change your pace and move a lot faster to get to where you're going.
Speaker 1:Right At you put yourself through pain. Your muscles won't grow unless the workout hurts a little bit and you want to put your body through a prolonged pain for the best results. And that prolonged pain is suffering, applied suffering. You walking into the gym with the intent of putting your muscles through a pain for a long period of time. Right, they won't grow unless they go through some kind of pain.
Speaker 1:Think about how plants grow, right? There's a saying that it says that the only way for a seed to turn into a flower, it has to completely destroy itself. The only way for a seed to turn into a flower, it has to completely destroy itself. The seed can't stay a seed forever. If it's going to be a flower, it's going to break through that shell. It's got to be a flower. It's going to break through that shell. It's got to be stretched. It has to change. Same thing with a lobster Right when it's time for them to grow on the inside of the heart, exoskeleton. They get too big, their bodies are literally breaking through that shell. It's very painful for them. They go through the pain of growing and breaking out that shell because they literally don't fit inside of their shell. No more Suffering Right.
Speaker 1:And, like I said before, the universe and I spoke on this before uh, in other episodes, uh, the universe will speak to you in three ways, three ways when it's time for you to make a change, the feather, the brick, and then the truck. First comes the whisper, right, the feather like hey, you should probably change. This ain't something that we need in our lives. Let's switch it up. And if you don't listen and you keep on doing whatever that thing is, then comes the slap, that brick. Life slaps you in the face. Things in your life are going to get harder. Your life start talking to you like hey, I told you about that. Now look, now, now, look, you have to recover from this. You got to feel this pain. Don't do that again. We need to change. And then, when you don't change, comes the truck and life hits you with that truck.
Speaker 1:And this is something that is life changing, something that takes years to either get over or changes your life for good, like for me, I used to drink and drive a whole lot, way too much, and for me the feather was me waking up the next day not remembering my drive home Like damn, I definitely should not do that again. And I kept going, of course. Then the brick came when I got my DWI. I ended up losing my job at the time because I was in jail for the weekend and it was literally a low point in my life life, sitting in that cell with nobody to talk to. I was miserable, but that was a break. Life said, ok, now I told you and you didn't listen and that took some time to recover from. I had to find another job. I was broke for a while and I had to recover. Now the truck. Luckily for me I never got that truck, but I could have got that truck and it could have been bad. I could have killed somebody, I could have seriously hurt myself, I would have hit somebody. That could have been prison time, right, that's a truck and that scared the hell out of me and all these things I'm talking about the feather, the brick and the truck, or some kind of pain, right, some kind of suffering, some kind of suffering that you have to go through in order to grow.
Speaker 1:And here's the thing about pain. So the problem that most folks have with it is they avoid it. They want to feel as little pain as possible to avoid discomfort. The word discomfort implies the opposite of your comfort zone. Right, look around you right now. Just take a look around what you are, who you are. In your life, have you already gotten to the max of what your comfort zone has to offer you? If you look at what you have, what you accomplish, the comfort zone you're in right now and everything you have, you probably have accomplished the max in where your comfort zone is, in this comfort zone.
Speaker 1:And if you stay in this comfort zone, more than likely, more than likely your life is going to stay the same forever and ever, and ever and ever. You're not going to have much more money, much more happiness. You're not going to meet as many different people. Right, like with this grant I just applied for, I was way in Hawaii on vacation, having to carve out time to work on it. Of course, I would rather be doing anything else in Hawaii than working on a damn grant, but unfortunately, deadlines exist and, unfortunately, if I want my life to be different and if I get awarded this grant, my life will definitely be different. It's a whole lot of money. If I want my life to be different, I understand that I have to put myself through that discomfort. I just have to.
Speaker 1:You have to apply suffering. You have to apply discomfort in order for things to change. It's a stimulus for growth. Most folks end up getting to this comfortable place in their life and they stay there forever and unfortunately, our lives are designed that way. Right, our brains are wired this way. Comfort zones mean safety. When we lived in caves and tribes thousands of years ago, comfort meant familiarity, which meant safety. But unfortunately, in this day and age, your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die. Your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die.
Speaker 1:We've all heard that phrase and that phrase. That saying it may sound cliche or whatever you want to say about it, but it's absolutely true. Discomfort needs to be your friend If you want to do something amazing in your life. Apply suffering is the stimulus you need to apply in your life for growth. Apply suffering is the stimulus you need to apply in your life for growth. So what does that mean? How does that manifest itself in your life? Well, let's look at working out, for example. Right when you go to the gym, you have to push yourself, you have to go past what's comfortable. You have to go past what's easy. It has to hurt. That's how you see results. That's how you see growth and your brain works the same way that your body does.
Speaker 1:If you want to change your brain, your neuroplasticity, that's when your brain is able to change through growth and reorganization. It only happens when you push yourself and you do things outside of what you normally do. No-transcript. Think about that. If we think the same thoughts that we thought about yesterday, today and the day before that and the day before that, do you think your brain will ever change? No, it won't. There's no reason for it to change. The way to change your brain is to actually do things you've never done, to think in ways you'd never thought before and to actually seek the discomfort. You have to put yourself in that extreme focus and really focus on how to change yourself, how to apply some suffering and to do it over and over again.
Speaker 1:The life you want is through discomfort and also ask yourself this Is this discomfort going to kill me? Making yourself uncomfortable by going to the gym, by dialing some numbers and making some cold calls, by going door to door and trying to sell, learning what works and what doesn't work, to ask you a crush out on a date, to putting in some hours after work to build that business, taking a few hours on vacation to finish a grant, using some of your free time to work on that project you've been working on instead of watching another episode of Netflix? Is any of this going to kill you? No. Will it help you grow? Yes, most likely it will. So ask yourself that question is it going to kill me? Will this help me grow? And you already know the answer to that question Do the things that are going to help you grow and again realize how your brain is working. It wants to keep you safe. So ask yourself am I safe? Am I safe? Yes, I'm safe. Am I going to die? No. Could this help me grow? Yes. Am I going to die? No. Could this help me grow? Yes. Well then, 100 percent.
Speaker 1:You should do it, and there's a little challenge. I want to challenge you, I want to present to you and I want to let one of the life coaches I follow use this challenge to help people get outside their comfort zone. So what the challenge is is the next time you go to a coffee shop or a gas station or a store you go to a coffee shop or a gas station or a store, and I've done this when you get to the register, look the cashier right in the eye and ask for a 20% discount. Yeah, this may seem silly, but why not? What are you afraid of really? What would be the reason for you being afraid of this, right, the person saying no to you? So what? That's definitely something we should work on anyway. Not being afraid of hearing the word no, right, what you were afraid of? Rejection, of somebody not accepting you? What would stop you you feeling silly, you being uncomfortable? That's the whole point.
Speaker 1:It's this simple practice, this simple act that you can control and overcome and step outside your comfort zone by getting to that register or that drive through wherever you shop in that day and ask for a discount. Try it and I know most of you probably won't, but but but challenge yourself If you truly want your life to be different. You already understand that you have to step outside your comfort zone. It ain't easy. So why not practice? Why not prove to be different? You already understand that you have to step outside your comfort zone. It ain't easy. So why not practice? Why not prove to yourself that you can? And again, it ain't gonna kill you, right? And like I said, I've tried it.
Speaker 1:The first time it was a starbucks. It was a starbucks in the target. I walked in, asked for the discount. She looked at me and was like no, we don't give any discounts. And I lived and I tried it a second time at K&G. I got to the register, asked for the discount and it turns out they had a discount that day if you were receiving their text ads and it was like 50 percent. So I actually save money simply because I asked for a discount and if I wouldn't ask I would have never got that discount. Because I asked for a discount and if I wouldn't have asked I would have never got that discount.
Speaker 1:And I know some of you probably want to hear this challenge and you already feeling triggered like nah bro, I ain't doing that, but again, will it kill you? Wouldn't you want to get to a place where those triggers, those comfort zones, right, those limitations are less and less, because, no, this challenge won't kill you, but a damn show can make you grow. Unless, because, no, this challenge won't kill you, but a damn show can make you grow. It's a simple exercise of you stepping outside your comfort zone, and the more you live outside your comfort zone right, the more comfortable you'll be within it. We have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and that's another cliche phrase, but it's so true, simple and true. We have to lean into that discomfort and you'll notice that if you keep doing this not just this challenge, but all the things you'll notice that your comfort zone will get bigger and bigger. It'll expand and when your comfort zone expands, you expand. That's growth. You grow from the applied suffering of doing things you don't want to do. You don't grow unless you do something different. You don't grow until you can get uncomfortable, and applied suffering is a tool that will absolutely help you because, again, your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die, and they will die if you don't make a change. So that's my challenge, and I know most of you won't do it, but the few who will, you're going to feel it after, after you ask for a discount. See how it feels. If the idea of this makes you uncomfortable and you still do it, you will see what I mean. After you do it, you will be a little bit closer to being able to step outside of that comfort zone more often, but we have to make it a point to be there. So that's what I got for you today. It was a quick and short one today, but still an important one, I feel like. So thank you for being here.
Speaker 1:Please become a supporter of the show Again. You can choose the monthly amount three, five, eight or ten dollars. You can cancel at any time and your donations really help me keep this thing going. But let's go ahead and get to this music. The song I got for you today is Lean On Me. Let's ride out, we'll be right back.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you gotta lean in. I'm the one you can lean on. I know you gon' be straight, hold your head and be strong and lean on me. Gonna lean on you. Welcome to Eastside High. You can lean on me. Live life on a high. Still, keep it low key. So, dope, I could be your OC. You better. Thank GOD For your moolah. If you heard my name, it's a rumor. I'm on they brain like a tumor. We'll be right back In a world with a switch. You can lean on me like a kickstand, and when it goes down like quicksand, you can lean on me. Put everything on me. Sometimes you gotta hate, I'm the one you can't beat. I know you're gonna be straight, hold your head and lean on me. Can I lean on you?
Speaker 1:I heard my cousin say what's up? He came through with the blood. We talked about dreams. He said why not you Outro Music Me and the recub? I do. I know they want me to strike out. I'm still calling my shots out and then I swing like Ruth, babe, and it's ball three. Strike two, babe, and I'm getting big.
Speaker 1:Yeah, used to be so little, but now I'm in beast mode. I need some skittles and I've been knocked down. They was looking at me like he ain't gonna get up and she ain't like rolling on E-mine. She ain't gonna fill up. Yeah, we'll be right back between the ten knocks. Where I'm from is ding, dong, ditching and we can't breathe, but they ain't gonna listen. You can take a double styrofoam cup and pour it all over my shirt. So, in other words, you can lean on me, put everything on me. Sometimes you gotta lean in. I'm the one you can't lean on. I know you gon' be straight. Hold your head in, be strong and lean on me. Can I lean on you? We'll be right back. Oh, oh, oh, oh, lean on me. Oh, oh, oh, oh, lean on me. Outro Music.