Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
The Truth About Your Happiness
Happiness seems like an elusive goal that many of us continuously chase. We convince ourselves that more money, nicer possessions, greater admiration, or exciting experiences will finally make us happy. But what if we've been pursuing the wrong thing all along?
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I'm in mistakes goals. I bury my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know if I want to grow, you reap what you sow. That be the case. Planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes, the people that act like you, crazy but trying to stay far away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate. Yeah, they hate themselves because they're on the shelf.
Speaker 1:Why you create a life that you love, a life that you love, yeah, loving the fact you improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do what the road got, bumping your foot on the pedal. You go up a level. You turn up whenever it's time for you to go put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. One thing is for sure yeah, until they put me in this earth, before I ride in that hearse, I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love and affect you improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do it, to go got punk and good foot in the gutter. I'm chasing my goals.
Speaker 1:All right, and welcome back to another episode. Thank y'all so much for being here. We got a really good one for you today. I'm excited to give you out this one. If you are watching me on youtube, go ahead and like and subscribe to my channel. If you're listening on a podcast platform, please leave me a review. Also, become a supporter of the show. You can choose the monthly amount. It can be three, five, eight or ten dollars. Our donations are greatly appreciated and it helps me keep this thing going.
Speaker 1:But let's go ahead and dive in. So this topic has been on my mind lately, especially now that the summer is going to be here soon and a lot of folks are looking for this thing. Or they don't have it, they want to figure out how to get more of it, or maybe you already do have it and you want to keep it. So let's talk about it. Let's talk about the truth behind happiness. So how nice would it be to just wake up happy, to just have this freedom from other people around you, from negative voices in your head, freedom from life's problems, and you just wake up and you just feel happy every day until you die Day after day. Wouldn't that be nice. What kind of life would that be? Right? And unfortunately I don't have some magic to sell you or some kind of magic pill to take to make that possible, because we all know you can't be happy all the time.
Speaker 1:But I do want to talk about what makes us happy and talk about how we can go after it, because don't it always seem like we're constantly searching for something to make us happy, something outside ourselves, and we go looking forward and we say you know what would make me more happy if I had more money? We all can say that one right. We say, if you know what would make me more happy If I had more money, we all can say that one right. We say, if I had more money, I could buy things, I can go travel the world, I can get this nice car, I can get the nice house. That will make me happy. Another thing that makes us happy Approval and admiration from other people. That makes us happy.
Speaker 1:My career basically depends on that one. As an actor, I need people's admiration of my work. I need them to like me, to think I'm talented, and we do this in life too. Right? We want to be the person that people like, the person people are fond of or look up to. These things make us happy. Also, we get the nice car.
Speaker 1:People see the nice car, they like it Nice, the nice clothes, sure, but we know that after a while, that car and those clothes, they lose that luster. After having my car for a few years I don't look at it the same way. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still love my car. But you know that feeling when you first buy your baby, you can't stop looking at it. Right, I used to go sit in my car outside my house and just hang out in there. I put some music on. I was that happy with my car, right, it's not like that, no more.
Speaker 1:But people can also find happiness in having fun partying, drinking, going to the club, sex, drugs and people are just searching and searching for happiness. And the reality of it is we're not actually searching for happiness in these instances. What we're really searching for is pleasure. It's really pleasure If you're looking for happiness in the things that money can buy you the nice car, the partying, the drinking, drugs, sex. That's different from happiness. That's pleasure. Pleasure is not happiness and happiness is not pleasure. What happiness truly is is peace.
Speaker 1:Now, can pleasure make you happy? Of course it can. Yes, all those things I just listed off can make you happy and I'm sure all those things, all those things have made you happy at some point. But it's not true happiness. Happiness is peace if you just wake up and you're happy, you just open your eyes and you have this happiness. It's usually because you wake up at peace, you're in a sense of calmness and peace and you feel good. Now I'll be the first person to tell you that if I had more money, you better believe I'm gonna be happy, we all would.
Speaker 1:But that don't mean money is happiness and that don't mean that money can buy happiness. Money can buy pleasure. The trips, the clothes, the house, the jewelry that's pleasure, and the pleasure absolutely can make you happy. But there will always come a time when that pleasure wears off, just like with any drug, any alcohol, any sexual experience, any trip or vacation at some point. Just that alone isn't the happiness, because you can be on vacation and still be pissed off. I know you've been there, done that. The last vacation I was on that I got pissed off on is when I was in Vegas, and that's all I'm going to say about that.
Speaker 1:But how many times have you heard about these millionaires being miserable, being lonely, committing suicide, not being happy? They have all the things in the world that money can buy, because underneath it, underneath it all, you still are going to be the person you truly are. Money don't change you. It makes you more of who you truly are. Jerks with money become even bigger jerks. Good folks with money do a lot of good things with their money. Stingy folks with money you think they're going to all of a sudden start giving money away. No, they get stingier and this is why so many people work their butt off year after year to climb up that ladder and get to be extremely successful. And they get there and they end up committing suicide because they thought money would make them happy. And again, I ain't talking about the kind of money I know you and me want right now. Right, we worried about bill money, car insurance money. Right, student loan payment money. We, not, we not on that level. Yet the millionaire money or maybe you are, and if you are one, don't try and find happiness in your money, and maybe you already realize that and to make a donation. It is impossible for you to donate too much money. I promise you I will accept all donations anyway.
Speaker 1:Money, drugs, sex, alcohol, cars, trips, the big house None of that truly brings you happiness, because happiness is not pleasure. Happiness comes from peace. Happiness is a byproduct of peace. Money can't buy you peace in the damn show, can't buy you peace of mind, right, I don't have contracts in theater where I was making some of the best money I ever made and I was miserable.
Speaker 1:So I've done roles in plays. That was literally some of my best work that I've done as a professional actor. But it was one of my worst experiences as a professional actor. I didn't have peace of mind. I wasn't happy. A lot of folks came told me that was the best they've ever seen me do. The role was amazing, the play amazing. Folks told me I'm an amazing actor, even told me I inspired them with my performance. But I wasn't happy. I complained every day. Not even a great role bought me happiness Because I didn't have peace. And to all my fellow actors out there and artists listening, y'all know exactly what I'm talking about. Without that peace you won't have the happiness, no matter what the role is Hell, one of the happiest times I had as an actor was doing this weird ass play. Some of y'all might have saw it. It was called Jacuzzi, a weird play, and there was actually a hot tub on stage smack in the middle of the stage that we actually got in. There were several scenes in this hot tub and the play was. It was just weird.
Speaker 1:And I love what I do as an actor Right, especially in this theater town. I get to play a lot of meaningful roles. I do a lot of meaningful work, roles that address social injustices and racism and historical racism and all the things that address how America has treated people of color in the past. And, yes, I have had some great roles and been in some really impactful shows. But that also means that I'm doing a lot of hard work, hard emotional work on stage and I'm portraying trauma and the scenes about the racism, the plays that address racism. I can't tell you how many times I've been called a nigga on stage, but that's the way the play is written and it's done with the purpose to show America's history and it's always done in a powerful way, respectful way and it's impactful. But again, I'm usually doing some heavy emotional lifting on stage.
Speaker 1:But Jacuzzi man, not only was it a straight up comedy, but this was a traditional all white play, meaning it normally is an all white cast. So there was no themes of race or racism in this one, nothing heavy. And when I tell you I had so much fun and that's not to say I don't have fun, and all the other shows but I remember one day in rehearsal being like man, this show, this show is so easy. I don't got to cry on stage, I don't got to be in some messed up racial tension on stage, I don't got to go through no trauma, I can just act and that's it. And it was easy and fun. And I'm like is this what it's like to be a white actor? And, like I said, it was as weird as play. Literally everybody that came to see that show said it was weird, or they were confused or didn't understand it said it was weird or they were confused or didn't understand it, but I had peace and I was happy and that's truly where happiness comes from.
Speaker 1:And what I'm about to say now, what I'm about to say next, sounds cliche, but happiness comes from within and you may think that sounds cliche, or maybe you truly understand that. Maybe you think you kind of understand it, maybe it's true, but it comes from within. The only thing that can truly make you happy is you. Peace comes from you. What are the things around us that are disturbing our peace, that's getting in the way of our happiness? What's in the way of your peace externally and internally, on the outside as well as on the inside of you? And I want you to really ask yourself what are the things that are still in your peace? I really want you to leave this episode with this in your mind. What's still in your peace? And when you think of these things, what I want you to do is get laser focused on removing them from your life, and one of those things, unfortunately, could be people.
Speaker 1:Do you have people in your life that get in the way of your happiness? Maybe that person is toxic. Maybe that person is always negative and drains you. Maybe they make everything about them and that's draining A lot of times because that person been in our lives for a long time. We feel like we have. They have to be in our lives because y'all have that history and because of that history, you feel like they have to be a part of your future. Well, that don't have to be true that history and past can end. If this person that's toxic, or they've been talking down to you or they make you feel worse about yourself, this person is probably stealing your peace, or they make it harder for you to find peace. Now, of course, you can find peace around a horrible person, right, but it's a lot easier to just not have that person around you.
Speaker 1:So ask yourself, look around your environment and ask yourself are there people who make it harder to have happiness and peace? Are there people around me that make my life less peaceful? And, if so, how can you limit the time you spend around those people? How do you keep them at a distance when you need your peace and happiness the most? Or, unfortunately, if necessary, how do you cut those people out of your life altogether, because your peace is more important than what they have to offer you right now? So people, that's one thing that can steal your peace. What else can steal your peace? Your thoughts, ding, ding, ding, ding your peace. What else can steal your peace? Your thoughts, ding, ding, ding, ding. What are the things inside your head that are stealing your peace? Are there ways that you talk to yourself. That's stealing your peace, and I stress about this all the time. But the way you talk to yourself drives the way you think about yourself, and that will absolutely steal your peace. What narratives do you have going on in your brain that make it less peaceful for you? The way you speak with yourself, the things going on in your head, they can and will steal your peace more than anything else.
Speaker 1:Do you worry a lot? Are you constantly worrying? All the time? We worry about things because we either think we'll be more prepared for it if it goes wrong, or we think that by worrying worrying we're actually in control of it, that we have control over by thinking about it and being ready for the worst, or somehow it'll make it not happen. And that is just not true at all. Worrying does not bring change. Worrying does not bring change, it just doesn't. Are you worried about the future? Are you stressing? Do you guilt and shame yourself for not being where you want to be in life? Yet We've all been there to a certain extent. Are you guilting yourself because you don't have the body you want, because you're not married, because you messed up in your career? Don't let the way you talk to yourself steal your peace, because a lot of times that's exactly what it is. It's the way you talk to yourself stealing your peace, and there's a good chance it is.
Speaker 1:And for those of you that can't afford to change locations, is the place you still live in stealing your peace? Is it time for you to move, for you to move on? Do you have roommates that make peace hard? Right, and this one is more obvious because we know if the environment we're in is stealing our peace Right. Just like when I was in that show. It was literally some of the best work as the best work I've done as an actor, but it was probably the worst experience of my professional career. I knew it was external, not my thoughts, right, your thoughts can be holding your peace back without you even realizing it. But the external, you know it, you feel it, you see it, you recognize it. Are you living with your parents or your parents live with you? And that's telling your peace. Your neighborhood, right. And again, you might not be able to just up and change that, but you can, at the very least, name it Right and, like I said, get laser focused on how to limit it.
Speaker 1:Another big one the news. My God, talk about stealing your peace. Does the news steal your peace? Now, I'm not telling you not to be caught up in the know, but are you consuming too much of it, Seeing all the bad in the world and the politics and the slander and the hate? Yes, be informed, but do you need it all day, every day?
Speaker 1:And the funny example I use is during the, uh, the george floyd riots. Well, at least it's funny to me. But uh, and if you know, this was mainly happening in minneapolis, right, the riots, some in saint paul too. And this is after it was happening for a few days, maybe even a week or so. And I remember going out to Woodbury, which is a suburb outside of the Twin Cities, a suburb far away from any riots, but not far from my house, like 15 minutes drive from me, and I was out there grocery shopping, and way out there in Woodbury you had some businesses boarding up their windows, scared of riots in Woodbury. Right, what are you scared of? You think people go drive way out here. You think people go hop on the bus and come right in Woodbury? No, you're safe, trust me, you safe. But why didn't they feel safe? What do you think they were seeing on the news and you know I don't blame them because I get it what they were seeing on the news was still in their piece. If I had a business, that would at least be in the back of my mind, but no, not in the suburbs. Anyway. If I had a business, that would at least be in the back of my mind, but no, not in the suburbs. Anyway, my point is the news is a big one. Another big one, probably the biggest one. Take a guess what it is. You already know what it is Social media.
Speaker 1:Social media is destroying your peace. Exercise that unfollow button. My unfollow hand is strong. I say that all the time and I highly suggest you do the same. If you come across a post from somebody that makes you feel some kind of way, especially if it's a person that you really never see or interact with in real life, unfollow that person. If you just broke up with somebody, you stopped dating somebody unfollow, or make it so they post. Don't show up on your timeline Somebody posting things that you disagree with. Unfollow Doom and gloom. Unfollow. Negative stuff. Unfollow. Get all that out of your face and your life. Get laser focused on getting rid of it. Don't allow that to be part of your future thoughts, because if you don't unfollow, then that's what you're doing. That's what you're doing. You're allowing it.
Speaker 1:Your job can also be stealing your peace, right? If you wake up every day you just hate going to work. Maybe it's time to start looking for something different now. I ain't telling you to quit, because they always tell you to find something, to find something before you leave something. But is it? Is it time for a change at your job? Or or maybe it is this time to end it Right? Or are you doing too much? Too many jobs, not enough downtime? Is that still in your peace? So the sooner we can get to a point where our peace is so important to us and we figure out all the ways our peace is being taken from us and we get laser focused on getting rid of it, the better and more happiness we will have. Become aware of it, take action for your happiness, for your peace, and watch how you start to become happier and happier over time. So that's what I got for you today. I appreciate you being here.
Speaker 1:If you found this episode helpful for you, please share it on social media. Make sure you tag me in it or share with a friend or family member Also become a supporter of the show. I left links in the description for you to do that. It takes a few, a few clicks of a button. It's very easy and also very appreciated. But let's go ahead and get to this music.
Speaker 1:The song I got for you today is I am from this ride out. I am from. I am from looking in the mirror and wanting to see more and talking to myself sometimes. I am from waiting on me to be great and step up to the plate like an umpire. I am from working on patience and practicing my frustrations. I know I ain't perfect. I am from progress. I am from Louisiana, 70812, baton Rouge. I am from polishing my shoes from the summer to get ready for the first day of school. I am from jambalaya, catfish, collard greens, fried chicken, shrimp, etouffee, crawfish and gumbo. Don't act like you don't know. Yeah, I am from wearing my heart on my sleeve like a loco. I am from yolo. I am from getting it jumping like po-po. Yeah, I can't be moving in slow-mo. I promise I'm through with the po-po. Yeah, I let that better me. Public defender was trash. Convinced me to take the plea cause I was too scared of a felony.
Speaker 1:I am from doing it just like I better be. I am from knowing that this is my season. Everything happens for a reason. I am from keeping keeping a hundred and never pretend to be something I couldn't believe in. I am from yeah, I am from. I am from thinking. I am from thinking too much. I am from drinking too much. I am from knowing that I am not sleeping enough, got me wondering how am I keeping this up lately? I am from reaching All the way down to the pit of my spirit that when you hear it you know that it's real. Ain't no disguise. I'm stripping off my sheep's clothing Like I ain't from street games. I am from grinding like my father. I am from grieving over my mother. Wanna be just like my big brothers, cause family matters to a fresh prince and the good times make a different world.
Speaker 1:I am from black culture. I am from living in color. I am from hip-hop and R&B, football and baseball and Sega, nintendo and Bus Bunny, scooby-doo, freeze tag, hide and go, seek, seeking my goals and reaching my peaks. He's seeking missile on anybody Instrumental if they really bringing that heat Fats on my feet. I am from running From that big ass dog that lived down the street when I was 13, sheesh, sheesh, Uh. But now I'm from running and shit with my dogs and we off the chain and we off the beach.
Speaker 1:I am from waking up early on Sundays. I had no choice In church every week, kinda ironic Cause. I am from making them praise days when I preach on reason, preach, preach. Yeah. I am from knowing't know me. Only thing I'm taking is three, take three. I hear from dreams I roll up my sleeves and I did not think that I am a king. I hear from me that's all I can be. I hear from dreams I roll up my sleeves and I did my thing. Now I am a king. I am for me. That's all I can be. I hear from dreams I roll up my sleeves and I did my thing. Now I am a king. I am the me. That's all I can be. I am front.