Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Stressed Out? Your Brain Might Be Playing Tricks on You
Ever notice how roller coasters can be fun yet deadlines feel suffocating, even though both spike your heart rate? That's because not all stress is created equal.
Contrary to popular belief, stress isn't something we should always try to eliminate—sometimes we need more of it. Much of our stress doesn't come from current circumstances but from mentally trying to handle all our future tasks simultaneously. When you catch yourself spiraling into overwhelm, remember you can only do one thing at a time. That deadline-induced panic? It's your brain lying to you about what needs to happen right now.
Ready to transform your relationship with stress? Listen now to discover which type might be affecting you most—and exactly how to bring your system back into balance.
Losing myself and finding my strength, came to the conclusion that I want it all, feeling that pressure of trying to do better. I wanna reach heights, but too scared to fall, too scared to fail. You're way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying. That's terrifying. I understand that. Chasing my goals are burying my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know if I wanna grow, you breathe what you sow. That be the case, planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes. The people that act like you crazy, but trying this, they fall away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate if they hate themselves because they on the shelf.
Speaker 1:Why you create a life that you love, a life that you love, yeah, loving the fact you're improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do what the road got. Bumping your foot on the pedal, you go up a level. You turn up whenever it's time for you to go. Put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. One thing is for sure yeah, until they put me in this earth, before I ride in that hearse. I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love and affect you, improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it, to go, got punk and good foot in the gutter. I'm chasing my goals.
Speaker 1:All right, and welcome back to another episode. Thank y'all so much for being here. If you're watching me on youtube, go ahead and like and subscribe to my channel. Also, if you are listening on a podcast platform, please leave me a review. It helps me out a whole lot. Also, become a supporter of the show. Uh, it really helps me a lot again. Uh, you can make the. Uh, you can choose your amount, your monthly amount. It could either be three, five, eight or ten dollars, and you can cancel at any time. Let's go ahead and dive in. Um, first of all, I want to say, uh, thank y'all for being patient with me. Um, welcome back. If you're watching me on youtube, you can see my face again. I was out of town, me and bobby. Our schedules had got booked up and so you know, we finally able to get back together again and get back in the studio to give you some visuals with these things. Let's go ahead and get started, though.
Speaker 1:Today we're going to be talking about stress, all about stress, how stress works, life, what it is, how to handle your stress and manage it, and also the different types of stress, because a lot of times we don't realize, or maybe we don't even know it. I know, I didn't know, but there are different types of stress and we can be better equipped to mentally handle our stress by knowing these three types. So there is the first kind is called it's kind of a new stress. The next one is called a hypostress, and then there's also this hyper stress, and we're going to dive in and talk about all three, and we hear words like anxiety and depression and stress, and sometimes we can kind of lump all those words together or pair them together. Right, people can throw those words around sometimes, and we're going to dive into all of that.
Speaker 1:But first let's talk about the actual definition of stress. Stress is a psychological I'm sorry, physiological and psychological response to things and stimulations that upset our personal balance in some kind of way. Let me say that again. That was mumbo jumbo, mumbo, jumbo. Stress is a physiological and psychological response to the things and the situations that upset our personal balance in some type of way, our personal balance. When you get out of balance, that's when stress happens. And, believe it or not, stress doesn't always have to be bad. Right, stress can't be good, and the reason why we have stress is because it's natural to the human body. But, of course, when it starts and it gets out of control or we experience it for too long, long periods of time, then it becomes chronic. And when we talk about the different types of stress, you'll see how stress can actually be a good thing, how it's actually needed.
Speaker 1:But first let me say this If you are waking up and you feel stress from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, then that's chronic stress, and if you're experiencing that, then you really need to go see a doctor. Please go see a doctor. This episode will not help that. But if you feel like you have a lot of stress not chronic stress if you feel like you stress a lot, well, we first got to understand that it comes from you. It comes from our own selves, from our mindsets, from the way we look at our lives and our circumstances, whatever they may be, and if you feel like you're too stressed. There has to be some ownership in that. You got to say, okay, this thing got out of control, I'm the one who let it get out of control and I need to be the one to get it back in control.
Speaker 1:Because when we face with something, some challenge or some threat, our bodies prepare to respond, and that could be physical, mental or emotional. Our bodies and our brains tell us that, hey, it's time to do something about this. Ok, again, stress is in the brain. Stress is also in the body and, of course, stress can be triggered by external circumstances as well, too. Right. If you are laying in bed in the middle of the night and then you hear somebody break in your house, your brain is going to sense. This is going to send distress signals to your brain and you're either going to fight, flight or freeze One of those responses. Whatever your brain chooses, right, it does it for the need to survive. There's going to be some kind of response. Then your heart rate is going to increase, your muscles tighten. Your blood pressure rises so that your blood can get to different parts of your body faster. Your senses get sharper. There's an increase in strength and stamina. Your brain also processes things a whole lot quicker. Things slow down for you, in a sense, and all this is preparing you for what your response to this stressful situation is going to be. This is adrenaline. Your brain produces this in these kind of situations and I'll never forget the first time I felt adrenaline.
Speaker 1:I was like 10 years old or somewhere around that age and we had this Doberman Pinscher and, where I'm from, if you have a nice dog, people would steal your dog. And there's a nice dog and it actually got stolen twice from us and it was also a young dog, like one year old, and we had just got it, had it for like three weeks and somebody stole it. And I remember walking home from school from the wrong bus stop. I got off early to be with my friends, so I was a little further away from home than I normally am and you know in the South, especially back then, you know in the mid nineties, a lot of folks and they still do but people had their dogs outside, right. They didn't come in the house, right. Dogs were not allowed in the house.
Speaker 1:Back when I was growing up and I'm walking home and I just so happened to see my dog and I called her name and she looked up at me and I knew that's our dog, that's our dog and I ran home fast as I could and I felt the adrenaline. I never ran as fast in my life. I felt like I was flying. I felt my heart rate. I felt like I had a superpower. I was flying.
Speaker 1:Second time I felt adrenaline. I was literally in a fight, speaking of fight or flight. I got in a fight and I was scared. Fight, speaking of fight or flight. I got in a fight and I was scared. I was like 13 years old and I couldn't back down right. Very much that toxic male, toxic teenage boy energy. My friends were there, they were watching and the boy I was about to fight. He called me out about something or he did something to me. I can't remember what it was, but I do remember the adrenaline.
Speaker 1:And when I tell you I don't know, I didn't know that I could throw punches that damn fast, I probably hit this boy like 10 times in two and a half seconds. I can't explain that feeling. It was like I was moving faster than I ever moved in my whole life. It was effortless. And even my brother I didn't realize he was watching, but I got in the house he was like damn, darius, how many times you hit that dude? Right, adrenaline, right Anyway.
Speaker 1:And I know the example that I gave earlier about somebody breaking into your house in the middle of the night. That's an extreme, extremely stressful situation, right? If you ask most folks what they're stressed about these days, they won't tell you that. You know, I'm stressed because I got people breaking in my house left and right in the middle of the night. No, that's not an everyday stress, right. Most of our daily stress comes from our minds, not necessarily the things around us, but inside us.
Speaker 1:The way we perceive a situation can determine whether or not it's stressful. For example, one of my best friends. He don't like dogs, especially if it's a big dog. He don't mess with him, he's scared of him. Me, I like dogs. I don't have one, but I will consider myself a dog person. So the two of us walk by a dog, even if especially if it's a big dog, and even if that dog is clearly friendly and wagging his tail. It's going to be two different levels of stress for both of us. Two different levels of stress based off our perception, based off our experiences Right.
Speaker 1:Another example I experienced this at one of my day gigs. I have a job at the Science Museum of Minnesota and we have a theater program there and we do short shows, demonstration type shows, usually about science and it's for the museum patrons. And we have this show that we do about physics and sports and it's for the museum patrons and we have this show that we do about physics and sports. And well, if you know me, if you know the theater industry first, the majority of theater folks do not play sports. They didn't grow up playing sports. I did. I love sports and there's a few elements of this show that require you to show some hand out coordination maybe catch a ball, hit a ball, throw a ball Right and just kind of talk about sports a little bit. And for some people who have no background in sports, they have a different stress level around that show. It would give them anxiety. They would feel like they look silly talking about sports and doing these demonstrations with a bat and a ball and throwing and catching Stressful for them. I had zero stress, but the other side of it some people dreaded having to do it right. Exact same situation For me. I like to show it's fun. For other folks it's stressful.
Speaker 1:Both non-serious examples, both demonstrations of how stress can work, how it can be caused by our brains. And stress can manifest in different ways. Through excitement, it can manifest through anxiety, can manifest in different ways. Through excitement, it can manifest through anxiety, through depression, feeling overwhelmed, agitation. But stress is a mechanism that's necessary for the human body. We need it to survive. But the kind in our minds, that's the one, that's the kind that we need to start working towards freeing ourselves from. So here we go. So the first type of stress is called eustress and that's spelled E-U stress, e-u-s-t-r-e-s-s, and the prefix E-U means good.
Speaker 1:This is the good kind of stress. It can actually be exciting. It's usually short term. For example, like riding a roller coaster right, I love roller coasters. Whenever I go to a theme park that I haven't been to, I want to ride every last one, right, especially the fastest ones, the biggest ones. That's an exciting kind of stress because you feel it as you're going up that first big drop and on your, on your way down on a roller coaster. It's stressful, but it's a good stress, right.
Speaker 1:Another example, let's say first day butterflies Right, and feeling nervous. Or your excitement to tell somebody some really good news, right? That is you stress Like. For me, as long as I've been doing theater, I still get a little nervous before every show, every time, especially if it's open at night. Even after we done have four weeks of rehearsal, rehearse six days a week, I still get nervous. But it's a good kind of stress. It's because I care, I take it serious. It keeps me on my toes.
Speaker 1:So the good stress and what this stress does is it enhances your motivation, your focus, your energy and it can turn on parts of your brain that make you more creative. You want you stress in your life. So how do we create more good stress in our lives? Well, one easy way to do it is to step outside your comfort zone. Step outside your comfort zone doing new things and I've been trying to do that as much as I can lately. Right, because you feel so much better after you do it. Do something challenging, push yourself, setting goals that ain't too easy for you. Now, I'm not saying set goals that are unachievable, but set goals that are going to stretch you, something that's going to get you outside of what you've been comfortable with. And when you do this and when you do achieve it, it's going to feel good. You're going to feel good about yourself, right, you? Stress can be very beneficial for us. So that's the first one, that's the good. Let's move on to the next one.
Speaker 1:The next one we're going to talk about is called hypostress, and this is the stress of understimulation. Understimulation, too little stimulation and I was kind of surprised to learn about this one, right? Because when you think about stress, you think about being too stimulated, having some kind of unwanted stimulation. But this one involves lack of stimulation, right. Situations of not having enough challenges in your life, not enough activities in your life, laying on the couch, watching Netflix all day, and this can lead to feelings of restlessness, being really bored, lack of excitement in life. It's you doing the same thing every day you wake up, you shower, you eat, you get dressed, you take the same route to work, you do the same thing you've been doing for years you go home, you watch the same TV shows, you go to bed and that, every single day, can cause hypostress. You have lack of excitement and stimulation in life and as humans, we want to be comfortable and not push, but we need to be challenged and we need to grow. We can't do the same thing all the time. Don't suffer from lack of engagement. No, you need stimulus. You're either green and growing or you're brown and dying. Let me say it again, and I say it all the time on here You're either green and growing or you're brown and dying.
Speaker 1:And, unfortunately, hypostress, it can actually be hard to recognize, especially if you've never heard of it, because it's subtle. It's from lack, this nagging sense of just being dissatisfied with life, or restlessness, monotonousness, having long periods of time of inactivity, right them days when you're watching Netflix so long, netflix got to check in on you like, hey man, you still alive. That's because what that causes hypostress, and hypostress causes decrease in motivation, decrease in creativity, uneasiness, lack of drive, lack of excitement, a general sense of unhappiness. Right, that's what hypostress causes. And, on the flip side, it can lead to unhealthy ways of finding that excitement, right, drugs, adrenaline, seeking, going out there and doing crazy things to make yourself just feel alive. So do something new, do something challenging, step outside your comfort zone, make a bucket list, plan a trip, get your body moving, work out, try new hobbies, challenge yourself. So that's the second one.
Speaker 1:The third one is, which is the one that we think of the most. That is, hyper stress, too much stress, an overstimulation of stressful feelings, stress always being there all the time, and that can be from day to day life or things in your mind, the things that push you past what you can handle physically and mentally, that feeling of overwhelm. And a lot of times it can be from things in the future. Now, when you ask somebody why they stress, it's usually because they're stressed in this very moment. It's because they look at all the things they have to do in the future, all the things they got on their plate, and that's overwhelming. And the way this manifests itself physically is in exhaustion, headaches, muscle tension. Psychologically, it can lead to anxiety, being irritable, it can lead to depression and this is the most common type of stress.
Speaker 1:Let's say you got a deadline at work. You got things going on at home at the same time causing you stress. You got this bill that you don't have no idea how you're going to pay it. You got this project that's going to take so much time out of you. You're feeling that.
Speaker 1:It's that feeling of getting pulled right in a bunch of different directions and not having enough resources within yourself to be able to satisfy at all. And it's never just one thing, right. They always get stacked on top of each other, just one thing after another. And this is not external, right. This is not something happening outside, it is us. It's us thinking about all the things we got going on, and it's too much.
Speaker 1:And a lot of times we get caught up thinking about all the things we need to do in the next few months instead of what we have to do in this moment, right now. Because guess what, believe it or not, all the things that we got to do over the next few months cannot get done in the next few moments. Yet we put this pressure on ourselves as if it's true, as if we can really get it all done right now. Does it need to get done eventually? Yes, will it be hard? Maybe, probably, since it's stressing you out, but can you get it done all at once? Hail to the now, now. Now, it ain't happening all at once.
Speaker 1:So manage that stress, write it out. Write out what's stressing you, put it on paper and work through it. That way, like I always say, you wouldn't try to solve some complex math problem in your head. No, you will write it out the things that's stressing you out Right? They're complex. Write it out so you can be able to work through it easier. So you can see it, so you can make a plan for it, so you can be able to work through it easier. So you can see it, so you can make a plan for it, so you can delegate and also Breathe, breath work.
Speaker 1:It literally helps calm your nervous system down. Deep breaths, take deep breaths, then start your plan. That way you can plan better and I know that sounds cliche, but it's really not. It works Right. It sends a message to your brain to calm down, to slow your heart rate, to slow your breathing. Deep breath, deep breaths activate, excuse me, what's called the parasympathetic nervous system, tongue twister, parasympathetic nervous system. And this directly counteracts that fight or flight or freeze response.
Speaker 1:So breathe and, of course, exercise. It does so much for your stress and your mental health. Every one of my workout clients, they all tell me how surprised at how much better mentally they feel. Working out does amazing things for your brain and shameless plug. But you know, I know a fitness coach that can work some magic for you. If you want to get your body right, you know you can send me an email if you're interested. Take that first step. I'm right here anyway. Sleep also. Sleep is so important and drinking water right when dealing with hyper stress.
Speaker 1:When dealing with hyper stress, understand that it's usually in your head, so breathe, put it on paper, plan it out and start chipping away. Understand that you can only do one thing at a time. So these are, these are the three. Again, you got eustress, which is the good kind of stress. Hypostress, which comes from the lack of stimulation, and hyper stress, which is the most common, the overwhelm. And again, do not try and do it all at once. Don't let your brain tell you that lie that you can do it all at once. You cannot. So if you're feeling some kind of stress, figure out which one it is, where it's coming from, and once you do that now, you can be able to attack it better. So that's what I got for you today. Again, thank you all for being here.
Speaker 1:Please support the show, share it if you found this episode helpful. Share it on your social media, share it with a family member or a friend. Make sure you tag me in it. Also, support the show, become a monthly supporter or make a monthly donation. But let's go ahead and get to this music.
Speaker 1:The song I got for you today is they Sellin' Crack, let's ride out. You know they say words can kill. They sellin' crack on the corner. I grew up like this. And if a picture is worth a thousand of them, they sellin' crack on the corner. I grew up like this, and if a picture is worth a thousand of them, they say they crack on the corner. God bless the artist. I grew up like this.
Speaker 1:Picture me perfect. Fuck what they talking, I'm already perfect. I do it on purpose. Yeah, call it what you want. I don't got service. She calling too much. Just see me in person, girl bye, I like my phone dry. I never been thirsty. Ain't seen me in a while.
Speaker 1:I'm probably workin' Uh goin' hard for my last name, tryna. Make it a brand name. It's Dodge and I'm lit all summer long. I don't need no ashtray. I don't need no ashtray. But who am I to tell another man how to make his own Outro Music? Just cause they got them army guns, your life looking way different, like you was born with glaucoma Cause you don't see that shit. Nah, if the system fell on a convicted felon or the police kill him what you tell him when he a kid who influenced by crack you can ask my big brother Cal about that, my big brother Al about that and these was my role models. And them niggas had that crack Wanna smoke weed, just like them, 13 years old, like, yeah, nigga, pass that sack, break it, we'll be right back. We ain't never have to worry about no lights when your best friends wanna ball out like globetrotters, they looking up to they role models who selling crack with no problem. That's why whenever your mama said, when that street light come on your ass, better be home Cause they selling crack on the corner, I grew up like this they selling crack on the corner. I grew up like this yeah, they selling crack, they selling crack, they selling crack.
Speaker 1:He's selling crack and she using it. His family ain't cool with it. Her family got used to it. He got a bird and he flew with it. He know just what to do with it. Take it straight to the kitchen On the stove making stew with it. Ain't no money in the classroom. So he dropped out of school with it. The bad schools get the worst teachers and they don't know what to do with it. He gets labeled by society. Yeah, they call him a hooligan because they think we are animals and the cops are the zookeepers.
Speaker 1:I wish I could fly because I would say bye, I'm going to Jupiter. I'm way too close. I'd have got numb, I'd have got used to it. We murdered them all. All his death, all his funerals, because they got beef and keeping it hot like aluminum. Trying to get closer to Jesus, I want to pray in Jerusalem. I see the devil influence us. I think the devil recruiting us. I'm trying to get closer to Jesus. I want to pray in Jerusalem. I see the devil influence us. I think the devil recruiting us. I'm trying to get close. I'm trying to get close. I pour some liquor for all my dead ones. Let's make a toast. I don't want ice. I don't want coke. I'm trying to get through. I'm here today, but tomorrow I could be a ghost, so let's do the most.
Speaker 1:My favorite rapper talk about dope. He got them O's. Sometimes I wonder if he know, or if he don't, that the youth is who he influence the most. Look how they boast Instagram and Facebook posts. They think it's a joke.
Speaker 1:I think about when I was a teen, 13 years old. He lived across the street. That was my dog. That was my woe. His big brother was like my brother he's selling dough. His brother was a hood nigga had a mouth full of gold. His brother got in a fight, showed the hood. He ain't no ho. He won that fight. You fucking right. You better let him know. But they had a revolver and not a revolving door and he let that revolver blow Was hard to see him go. He won that fight but lost his life.
Speaker 1:We got the call later that night and my heart hit the floor. I was scared to go to the funeral. Mama made me go, was scared to see him cry. He couldn't keep it dry. I just wanted us to fly so we could be closer to Jesus. I want to pray in Jerusalem. I see the devil influences. I think the devil recruiting us. I'm trying to get closer to Jesus. I want to pray in Jerusalem. I see the devil influences. I think the devil recruiting us Cause they selling crack on the corner. I grew up like this they selling crack on the corner. I grew up like this yeah, they selling crack. They said the crack. They said the crack you.