Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Why Are You Waiting For the Bad?
Ever catch yourself in a perfect moment—watching a loved one sleep, enjoying a new relationship, or celebrating success—only to then think, "I hope nothing goes wrong"? That instinct to anticipate things eventually going bad even during our happiest times isn't random—it's a deeply ingrained pattern that silently sabotages our happiness and potential. Let's talk about it!
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Losing myself and finding my strength, came to the conclusion that I want it all, feeling that pressure of trying to do better. I wanna reach heights, but too scared to fall, too scared to fail. You're way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying. That's terrifying. I understand that. Chasing my goals are burying my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know if I wanna grow, you breathe what you sow. That be the case, planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes.
Speaker 1:The people that act like you crazy but trying this, they far away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate. Yeah, they hate themselves because they on the shelf.
Speaker 1:Why you create a life that you love, a life that you love, yeah, loving the fact you improving yourself, decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do it. The road got bump in your foot on the pedal, you go up a level. You turn up whenever it's time for you to go. Put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. One thing is for sure, yeah, until they put me in this earth, before I ride in that hearse, I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love and affect you, improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it, to go, got punk and good foot in the gutter. I'm chasing my goals.
Speaker 1:All right, and welcome back to another episode. Uh, thank y'all so much for being here. Like I always say, if you are watching me on youtube, go ahead and like and subscribe to my channel. If you are listening on a podcast platform, please leave me a review. Also, become a monthly supporter. It definitely helps me keep this thing going. You get to choose the amount. It can either be three, five, eight or ten dollars. You can cancel at any time or you can make a one-time donation. I've left links in the description for all that, so thank you in advance. All right, let's get to it. So this episode is definitely an important one. I think almost all of us need to hear this one. All of us have definitely been here before, for whatever reason.
Speaker 1:We as humans, no matter how well the situation may be going, no matter if we even started or attempted to try something different or go after something, or especially if we're in the middle of it and something negative happens, we tend to always assume the worst. We always assume something wrong is going to happen. We always feel that something is going to mess up, that things will be hard, that things will turn out negatively, or another thing we do when we recognize that things are going good for us, that they've actually been good, we start waiting for the bad to come. We act like there's this rule of life that says you can't always have a good thing. Who said that things can't always go well? Like there's this universal law, right? Where does that come from? And let me be clear I ain't talking about understanding the reality that nothing stays the same, that at some point we will face obstacles, right? I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about actively looking for the negative, waiting for the bad, waiting for things to go wrong. We have this deep internal fear of always looking for something to go wrong or bad as a way of survival. Looking for something to go wrong or bad as a way of survival that's what our brains look for. No matter how well things are going, especially if things happen to be going bad, we're always waiting for the next thing to come out of nowhere and punch us in the face. And I'll prove it Now.
Speaker 1:I don't have kids, but I see this so many times and I've heard this from more than one parent. And maybe you've done this, especially when your kids are really, really young and you're at that stage when you truly just enjoy watching them sleep and you really feel all the love and the joy of being a parent and you feel all the love for them and that's your baby, and you feel all the feels and you're watching them sleep and you think to yourself what would I ever do if I lost them? Here you are in this beautiful moment of just absolute love and you think to yourself I hope I never lose my child. I hope they can stay healthy. Have you ever done that? And maybe you don't have children. Maybe you've been in a relationship with somebody and it was going good and it was new, and you're both having fun and enjoying your time.
Speaker 1:And then you randomly think, hmm, I hope I don't mess this up, or I wonder what it's going to be like for our first argument, or I hope they don't do me wrong. Right, have you ever done that? Well, you're just waiting for something negative to happen. And what is that doing? By letting these imaginary moments that haven't even happened take up space in our minds, it's literally putting yourself away from a beautiful present moment and ruining it for your happiness, stealing your present joy. And by not just being present and enjoying the good thing, enjoying what's good that's happening for you right now, and expecting the bad, you are robbing yourself. In those moments. You should be the most, most present, because those moments are necessary and you should savor them. They should be savored.
Speaker 1:So why do folks feel this way? Where does this come from? I mean, it has to be something learned right Somewhere along the way. We learned this thing right, something that's part of our nature, inside our brain. Well, what is this? Well, it's called a scarcity mindset, the mindset of thinking that something negative is bound to come because there isn't enough good to go around. To go around all the time. That good can't possibly go around all the time. And where do we learn it? When did this become? How we identify with life and happiness?
Speaker 1:Now, one of the most common phrases we hear, or at least some version of it, is the notion that to have success or to attain anything good, during your journey, you have to take three steps forward, to take one step back, or you have to take this many steps forward and then this many steps backwards. There's always this forward and backwards, right, and yes, what's true is you will have setbacks I talk about that all the time on here and those are to be expected. But the most important thing is perspective, perspective, perspective and perception. The quote unquote setback that you feel is our perception. That setback could just be a redirection in the correct way that you should be going, what it could be and how you should look at it is a detour to getting you on the path you really should be on. The universe could be saying maybe it's time to pivot, pivoting you towards the right path, because it's one thing. If it's one thing I always say is that your path is unique, your path is your own, and how I like to look at it that quote unquote setback. I look at it like this when you shoot a bow and arrow right, you have to pull that arrow backwards. There ain't no way the arrow will go forward unless you pull it backwards first. And what happens after you pull it back? It gets propelled forward, it goes forward, and a lot further than it ever would have if it never went backwards. So we have two different ways to look at these moments in our journey, these step backs. It could be the redirection you needed to correctly map out your path, the redirection you needed to correctly map out your path, and maybe it can be what you needed to prepare you forward in a way that you couldn't do without first having to move backwards, like for me.
Speaker 1:I definitely had a couple of years of setbacks in my acting career. There was a stretch where I went to close to two years without booking a show, without being on stage. I just wasn't getting hired and mainly it was because of the theaters in this town that they just didn't have roles for me. And ironically it's starting to happen again. Roles for a strong black man, right? Not fair skin, not racially ambiguous Like he black, but he got something else in him, right? Not that Because theaters around here love, love, love that look no offense to anybody who I know and those actors who get those roles, not knocking their talent, because all of them are talented, but I look, I'd be looking at these cast lists and I don't be seeing my complexion and darker in these plays.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I went on a stretch when I wasn't getting booked no plays and I was so frustrated, I was so down. I even reached out to my mentor like, man, what's going on? Right? But what that time gave me was a space to truly work on my music and my sound and my editing and doing my own thing. And I was just waking up every day, head down, working and working, and working. And the next thing I knew I'm getting news articles written about me. Star Tribune mentioned me for Juneteenth. The Minnesota Spokesman Recorder wrote a story about me and how I'm an actor and I do music and this podcast, and they referred to me as a renaissance man.
Speaker 1:Right, I was in the midst of a setback, right, not working in plays, but working on myself and what I have to offer as an artist. I was working on that and it leveled me up. I leveled up, I truly did, ended up making it into a couple of hip hop blogs, which is hard to do. But that step back, I needed it. And that step back, that setback, like that bow and arrow, like I said, is preparing you to fly further into your future, and this is something I talk about an endless amount of times on here, but during those moments in your past when you were experiencing those setbacks, while you're in it it's hard, it takes its toll on you, it's not a good feeling, it's definitely not fun.
Speaker 1:But when you look, you look back at it. Five, 10 years down the road after you came out of it. You look at it and you say you know what I hate it going through that moment. But there is no way in hell I will wish any. I will wish away any of all the lessons I learned from those moments. No way I would take away all the ways I've grown from who I've become. Those lessons are things the universe gives you so that it can propel you. So instead of looking at it as a setback, look at it as a new lesson that the universe has given you so that you can make a shift in life, so you can change the path you are currently on.
Speaker 1:And really, what it mostly comes down to is to what you focus on the most. Ask yourself, what am I focusing on when you go through your day? Are you focusing on the things you're afraid of, on all the things you don't want to happen, on all the things that you see or feel. Are they making you afraid? Right, I talk about this. All the things that you see or feel Are they making you afraid? Right, I talk about this all the time on here. But you better believe, if you only focus on all the things that you don't want, if you only focus on all the things you're afraid of, you will attract those things into your life. Our brains are like magnets we attract what we focus on. You will get what you focus on.
Speaker 1:And there is this analogy that compares this to race car driving. Right, it's called what the phrase is Don't focus on the crash, don't focus on the crash. Meaning in the sport of race car driving, there will no doubt be a crash, right, and it's almost inevitable, depending on the type of, depending on the type of race that you're driving in. And race car drivers who are closer to crash, they don't look at the crash, they look past it. And they do this because if they look at their car crash in front of them and they give it their focus, they start drifting towards it. Their car, their focus brings them and their car closer to that crash, closer to disaster, closer to failing. Have you ever done it in traffic Like you drive it straight and you turn your head to look at something on your left or your right and you look up and while you're turning your head, you turn face forward. Oh man, I'm drifting a little bit, I don't? I'm on the line now, right, same thing A race car driving Look past the crash. Same thing car driving Look past the crash. Same thing in life Look past the crash.
Speaker 1:So what are you focusing on? The bad, the things you're afraid of, your insecurities and all of your fears? Or are you looking at the place you want to be, your vision, the life you want to create for yourself? Are you looking at all the ways you can accomplish your goals? Right, when you shoot a basketball, do you look at the ball in your hands or at the basket where you want the ball to go? Ball in your hands or at the basket where you want the ball to go? You don't look at. You don't look where the ball is in your hands and only focus on the fact that it's not actually in the goal yet. No, you look at the basket and you take your shot. So if you're really trying to create the life you want, shouldn't you look at your goals? So what are you focusing on? What are you focusing on the most? And I can't stress enough how important it is to ask yourself that question.
Speaker 1:Imagine how you'd feel if you never worried about something going wrong. And this is unrealistic, I know, but how do you think that would feel? How weird would that feel if you never actually worried about anything going wrong? If you just believe that God or the universe or the own power of yourself or whatever you believe in, is going to make it happen, it's going to get that bill paid, it's going to create that business, it's going to bring you that relationship, it's going to provide you with all the things you need the children you want, the finances you want and you believe that it's just going to happen.
Speaker 1:What if you woke up every day with that kind of confidence that I'm going to get what I want? The reason why I'm going to get what I want is because I'll wake up, I'll write my goals down and I'll focus on them, because how could I hit my goals if I'm not looking, if I'm not focusing on them? What if you just walk through life that way? How much negativity could you possibly attract to yourself? Now I'm not saying that negative things won't happen in life. Life is life. Life ain't fair. We all know that. But we also know that we will attract the things we focus on.
Speaker 1:And if you focus on how things will go wrong, things will go wrong. So what if you never worried about those things? And when the things do go wrong, you focus on how it's going to go right once the bad is over and you actually never worry about things going wrong. What if you ever did that Hypothetical question? Yes, is it impossible to never worry? Could be, maybe, but consider the alternative. Consider the way we've been living our lives Right. So I'm going to leave you with this, and this is a guarantee If you put all your energy on your goals, if you write them down, if you put energy and focus on them and focus on it because you believe that this is where you are going, and if you put all your energy into doing that thing, you will get it, or you're going to get some close version of it. I guarantee you that. No, it won't happen overnight, and know that it will take effort, it won't be easy, but if you do this, you're going to see success. You're going to see success. So that's what I got for you today.
Speaker 1:Y'all for being here. Please share this episode, like this episode. Please become a supporter of the show. You can choose the monthly amount. It can be $3, $5, $8, $10. You can cancel at any time or make a one-time donation. I got links of that description In the links in the description of this podcast.
Speaker 1:But let's go ahead and get to this music 10% of what happens to you. The other 90% Life give me limits. I got the juice. I hit the booth and I tell the truth. I talk about me and what I've been through. Then I got hot Like I got the flu. I could be a choreographer Because I'm making moves. Yeah, I got the moves. I do it so smooth. They know I keep it lit. Like I made a fuse. Like she wanna hang, like she made a noose. I pray to God. They all seen me when I made the news Was on the SPN, feeling so cool.
Speaker 1:No, I ain't flexin'. That's not what I do. I can't get them lessons. Like I said, I chew, cause life give me lemons. I gotta choose. Watch my shoes these brand new. They wanna walk on my steps, but these ain't the shoes. Wait, let me change my shoes Cause, like I said, these new Hold up, wait, wanna hang with us. Better lay some up Like we bout to hoop. We all take three Hope we can shoot. And I don't keep up, not with all that gossip. I just sip up out my teacup. Look, I got the flu.
Speaker 1:Cause life gave me limits, hit me in my feelings. What did I do wrong? What didn't I do? I look in the mirror. I'm feeling so different, like what's going on. Is that really you? I don't want attention, I want to be sipping. I want to be numb. I don't want to feel it. I don't kill you, only make you strong. I guess I'm the proof, cause I'm still living.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't have given Life gave me limits. I got a juice. Thought I was through. I was so blue. I took a leap of faith with no parachute. God gave me wings. That's when I flew. I feel fresh about the rapper, feeling brand new. If you only knew what I been through. Don't ever stop running, bruh. Hope you never do, cause when you start climbing up you will love the view. Cause life gave me lemons. Now I got the juice, was in a bad mood, still a good dude. I needed doors to open for me. They wouldn't move Got my foot in the door Don't mean to intrude, cause life gave me limits. Life gave me limits, but I got the juice. I hit the booth and I tell the truth. I talk about me and what I've been through. Then I get hot Like I got the flu.