Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Lost and Found: Navigating Uncertainty on Your Journey
Ever find yourself standing in a mental fog, unsure which direction to take your life, career, or relationships? That feeling of being lost or confused isn't a sign you're doing something wrong—it's evidence you're evolving.
This episode dives deep into how we handle those inevitable moments of uncertainty that come with personal growth. When life doesn't match the picture you had in your head (you know, that vision where you'd have everything figured out by 30), it's easy to feel like you've somehow failed. But what if that unique, unexpected path is exactly what will bring you fulfillment?
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I'm in mistakes goals. I bury my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know if I want to grow, you reap what you sow. That be the case, planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes, the people that act like you, crazy but trying to stay far away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate. Yeah, they hate themselves because they on the shelf.
Speaker 1:Why you create a life that you love, a life that you love, yeah, loving the fact you improving yourself, decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do it. The road got bump in your foot on the pedal. You go up a level. You turn up whenever it's time for you to go put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. One thing is for sure yeah, until they put me in this earth before I ride in that hearse, I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love and affect you improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do it, to go, got punk and good foot in the gutter. I'm chasing my goals, all right. Thank y'all so much for being here.
Speaker 1:If you're watching me on youtube, go ahead and like and subscribe to my channel. If you listen to me on the podcast platform, go ahead and leave me a review. Those things help me out a whole lot. Also, become a monthly supporter. You can choose the amount it can either be $3, $5, $8, or $10, and you can cancel at any time. But why would you ever do that? But let's go ahead and jump in. So today, this is going to be a topic that I can struggle with, and I used to struggle with a whole lot in the past, and I'm going to touch on this topic a few times over the next month. So just be aware I'm going to bring this up again, maybe not the very next episode, but for sure sometime in the future.
Speaker 1:Anyway, and I don't know if this happens to you, but sometimes I have these moments when I feel really, really confused, like what direction do I want my life to go in? Or my business, or my career? When do I envision myself having kids? Should I cut my hair again? Where should I move? When should I move? And I'm sure you have your moments of confusion too, because, as humans especially if you're a person who's working on goals and improving your mindset you should expect that sometimes you're going to feel confused. As humans, we're constantly evolving and that's just part of the process.
Speaker 1:And it reminds me back to when we were all in high school and we all did this, and maybe some of you. It came true, but let's see so for me right now I'm 38 years old I'll be 39 in June and in high school I had this vision for my life and we all did what I thought my life would look like by the age of 30. And I thought I would have the house, the marriage, the kids, the highly successful career. And look at me now, here I am doing a podcast. No kids, never been married. I don't have this abundance of income I thought I would have. Right here we are. Life looks way different for me, and I bet it looks way different for you, and we do this in life right now, just when we're young.
Speaker 1:But also right now, and even though I have these moments, I have to remind myself that I want this path. This path is unique. Nobody else will ever have this path, and I have to believe in myself to figure things out. And let me just say this If you don't believe in yourself, then please borrow some from me. Borrow some belief from me. I believe in you. I believe that if you keep working at it on yourself, you will figure it out. You are more than capable of figuring this out and this season it is going to serve you. And while you're doing the work and figuring it out, do yourself a favor and build your confidence by looking for those small wins every day along the way. That's how you get confidence. Confidence is a muscle that we have to build. You get confidence by getting results, and the only way you get results is if you do the work. You can take this podcast, for example, now. You might not be watching me on YouTube right. Get results is if you do the work. You can take this podcast, for example, now. You might not be watching me on YouTube right now, but if you click the link in the description, you'll see my face doing this on YouTube, and this wasn't always the case.
Speaker 1:I used to be too self-conscious to do this on camera, believe it or not, I know I may not seem like it, especially if you follow me on social media and you see all the things I post, right. I had to really force myself to work on this. Just like I'm sure the majority of you listen to me right now will be uncomfortable getting in front of your camera phone and recording and talking to people, I'm the same way. I put in over 200 episodes, or at least over 150. I forget the exact number, but I did all those episodes before I actually got in front of the camera and I made excuses for it in my mind.
Speaker 1:I told myself that I didn't need it, that the message was the important thing. And, yes, that's true, the message is the important thing, but it's 2025. You have to be in front of the camera. You just do, and I had to build that confidence and gradually, the more I did it, the more I do it, the more confidence I build in it. The repetition of it all made me better, but I wouldn't have gotten better and built that confidence if I just didn't work on it, if I never got the results.
Speaker 1:And when I got the results, I celebrated them. I looked at my growth and I celebrated it. That's an important part of this too. Make sure that you celebrate your growth and those small wins, all of them every day. But be careful with that one, because you don't want to celebrate and make that. Let you get comfortable right. Understand that you still have a long way to go, but also that hell yeah, you did, that you are capable at making progress.
Speaker 1:And another really important thing to have in your mindset is that we're on this journey. This path is not linear, and it ain't supposed to be, it's not supposed to be picture perfect, because, one not only would that be boring, but two it'll rob us of that fulfillment and pride when we look back at all the things we had to navigate, the fact that we went through all that stuff to get to where we are now, all those negative emotions that we had to go through along the way. So the purpose of this episode is for us to learn some important tools and perspectives to have to help us get through these uncertain times, because the thing is, this ain't going to be the last time we get in this situation. It won't be the last time Working on yourself and your mindset and going after the things that you want in life. There's no way possible that you won't start feeling lost and not sure of what to do next. So let's talk about how to get through this, this feeling of feeling lost.
Speaker 1:So, when you're having one of those moments when you're questioning life, questioning your decisions, and if you're doing the right, that, if you're doing the right thing to begin with, that it doesn't feel like this crisis moment, right, a crisis moment. What we need to do is guess what? Just have it. Just have that feeling, have that moment, just let yourself feel it, feel the emotion, let yourself have it.
Speaker 1:It's OK to feel those emotions, and what I used to do is I did this thing where I would get mad at myself Well, not mad, I would feel stupid, right, I would feel stupid for being upset about something, because I would look at my life and be like come on, dutch, you're so fortunate to be in this position. What are you really even upset about something? Because I would look at my life and be like come on, that's you so fortunate to be in this position. What are you really even upset about you being weak, or this is a stupid thing to let to let get to you. Look at your life and where you are Now. Don't be wrong. You should definitely remind yourself how blessed you are and how far you came and the progress you did make.
Speaker 1:But you can't just disregard those feelings, right? Those feelings are real and they are there for a reason. Avoiding those emotions in that moment it feels like it is helpful or constructive, but deep down we know it's not. Avoiding emotions is not a long-term solution. Like I say when I'm a facilitator for Pillsbury House Theater and we do diversity and inclusion training and sometimes I facilitate the conversation with the company that we perform for, like I say to them, we are all grown and we all know nothing good comes from ignoring emotions, nothing good comes from pretending like they ain't there. And I also say emotions are a part of this work, they just are, and the growth happens when we can get past them. That's where change happens. So we can't judge ourselves when they come up.
Speaker 1:It's okay to let yourself feel it Instead of judging yourself for feeling it. Ask yourself why am I feeling this way? Be curious what are some of the reasons I'm feeling scattered or lost or hurt right now? Get those emotions out, learn why and get it out of your head, because having them just rolling around in your head without addressing them, that ain't serving you. So name them. And here's the thing yes, there is always somebody worse off than you. Yes, you could be doing way worse than what you're doing right now. Yes, that thing that got you worried or upset, it could be small. Yes, you're in a better place than you used to be, but that don't mean that you don't get to feel the way you feel. You can't judge yourself for that.
Speaker 1:The reality is that it still can teach us something if we allow it to. Is that it still can teach us something if we allow it to. And don't forget this. The things you think about, especially the reoccurring thoughts, the ones you think about over and over and over and over again, those thoughts will become a belief. That's how we form our own truths, our identity, who we think we are and what we think we're capable of. And the thing is, we may think this thought is small and insignificant, but we don't realize how dangerous this actually is. So think about this, for example.
Speaker 1:Let's say you say to yourself I'm not good with technology on phones, on cell phones, and a lot of people say this right, is that you? I'm not judging if it is, but what happens is, is you say it and it's a pretty insignificant statement, but you don't stop and question it and challenge it. By doing that, you're just going to think it over and over and over again and eventually it's going to become a belief and then a reality about yourself. And then you end up doing what your brain does. Your brain is extremely good at finding evidence to support your current beliefs. Your brain is always finding evidence to support your current beliefs.
Speaker 1:You will find a bunch of reasons why you're not good with technology on cell phones, and then you accept this as truth and you label it as part of who you are. And, yes, you might be thinking well, yes, that is true about me. I'm not good with technology. But my question to you is why? What is it about you specifically that makes you not good with technology on phones? Because it's not like you don't already have everything you need inside you already. It's people your age and older who are great with technology. You don't have some kind of disadvantage that will keep you from being good with technology.
Speaker 1:What happens is you keep telling yourself that you ain't good with it, and it became your truth. If I keep telling myself that I can't speak in front of large crowds, I will never be able to, or if I say I don't have time to work out, and if I repeat it over and over and over again, it will become a belief and eventually a truth about myself, and eventually that truth becomes an identity and you start acting accordingly and your life starts giving you exactly what you tell yourself. You will attract ways to not have time to work out or whatever that thing is that you tell yourself. So by thinking like this, even though the thought may seem small, over time it becomes so much bigger and it shapes who we are. It shapes our reality, and this just ain't helpful for growth, right? So get it out and then look at it with curiosity, right? And then ask yourself this powerful question that we all should ask ourselves Is this thought that I'm thinking even true? Is this thought that I'm thinking even true? Because, just because we think, whatever that thought is in our heads in that moment, it don't actually mean it's true and that's just a fact and it sounds really simple, but it really is powerful.
Speaker 1:Once you question your thoughts, you might find that you're labeling yourself with conditional statements. And what do I mean by that? Thoughts like I'm confused, I'm lost, I'm not good at this, nobody will support me. Is that actually accurate? Because those are all conditional statements implying that you can't change them. That is final and the truth is it's probably the furthest from the truth. You might feel like it's truth in that moment because you do feel lost or scattered or incapable, and that's valid. It's valid to have those feelings, that's valid. But you have to recognize that you can work on changing your feelings by changing your thoughts. Why? Because your thoughts drive your feelings. But you can't let words like confused and lost and always and never keep living in your mindset. They will become permanent that way. And even though the thought about yourself is only conditional, if you continue to think those thoughts, they will become permanent. So, moving forward, let's focus on changing our language.
Speaker 1:Right After you identify those thoughts and label what and why they are and understand that you do have validity in feeling this way, change the way you say or have those ideas, the thoughts. So, instead of saying I suck at this, change that to I'm working on this or I'm learning how. Instead of saying I'm lost, change that to I'm figuring it out. Instead of saying I'll never be good at that, say I'm not good right now, I'm not good yet right. And the final key to all this is with these new statements, the ones you just corrected. You have to put them into action, even if it's small action, the small list of actions. If you're not good with phone technology, first say I'm learning to get better with phone technology and then do something, something that will take you two minutes. Figure out how to do something that you didn't know, how to do something that you didn't know how to do before. Just one thing, and it don't have to be this big thing right here in the moment, but take a second out of your day and just try to figure it out. If you say this topic confuses me, change that into I'm working on figuring out this topic and do exactly that, Even if it's only for 45 seconds. And you have to keep repeating these new statements to yourself over and over and over again, just like you did with those negative ones, because that's when it'll start to become a belief, and that belief will turn into a truth, and then it will be part of your identity, and that's what change happens.
Speaker 1:I do this damn every day, especially lately. I got so much on my plate right now and I'm doing what I need to do to make sure I don't crash and get super burnt out. But some days are just long and they just have to be. Right now. Some days have to be longer than other days, and I find myself saying things to myself like damn, this day will be long as hell. And as soon as I catch myself allowing myself to feel that way, I tell myself the opposite. I say you know what? Today will be a great day, a great productive day. I get to work towards my dreams today. It's a blessing to be in my position right now, and I say this several times throughout my day. I really do Every day, anyway. So let's do the work. Let's get ourselves unstuck, unlost, unconfused. Apply these steps throughout the whole process. Your mind will give you exactly what you let it tell you in life. So that's what I got for you today.
Speaker 1:If you like this episode, please share it with somebody, somebody that can benefit from this message, somebody who is a friend or a family member, somebody who has goals and is trying to improve their lives. Let's go ahead. Get to this music, though. I can't remember the last time I played this one on here, but it's another unreleased song. It's called Open at Night and I'm actually planning a music video for this. Hopefully it's going to get shot on June 2nd, which I'm pretty sure. This episode is going to drop on June 2nd. I'll tell you more about that soon. You know I always do. Anyways, the song is called Open the Night, let's ride out.
Speaker 1:Yes, look, I decided to take a leap of faith and I never landed. I'm fly as a bird, I'm high as ever and highly favored, but it wasn't my time to shine. So I waited my turn, sat back and observed and I got to work. And before I sign on your dotted line, put some respect on my check, cause I know my worth. I don't want much, only what I deserve. I ride that beat like I ride in a hearse. I buy the bag of beat. Boy, I come with this heat you might need to earn. I let it burn and as long as my family proud, I'm sitting here laughing Just like my daddy, cause we go grind, you know, we go work. Long as he. Proud of me, that's all that matter. All your chitchatting, but it's not my concern. Never no negative words from her. She probably salted because she got curled. You probably thought he was finishing done. He started to doubt me. I promise it made me go hard as ever.
Speaker 1:Open the night. I gotta buy me an opening fit man. I hope I don't splurge. I'm reaching heights. I know eventually I gotta fall. I hope it don't hurt.
Speaker 1:Hoping I go to bed and wake up tomorrow like over the night. Hoping you not trying to argue with me dawg, you know what you right. Ain't seeing her in a while. She know what's on site. She know that I'm busy. As soon as I finally get that day off, she get the whole night almost time.
Speaker 1:This is the night Clearing my mind. I'm finna get right. Hoping I shine they dimming the lights. Wish I could give you this feeling. I promise this shit is the best. I got this weight on my chest. I'm pushing it off me. Promise you that's not a flex.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, damn it. You gotta be so analytic. All you gotta say is you don't get it Out here acting like a critic. Yes, I'm done trying to prove to y'all that I've been gifted. Half of y'all ain't know I existed. Now my name be selling tickets. Yes, I stay committed and I'm sorry if I've been distant. I hope you don't get it twisted. I don't have hate in my spirit, I only hate flying spirit open the night we've been sipping. I hope I'm still coherent.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's down. An ovation, a big celebration. Pick up your libation. I'm making a toast. I put it, I was, I was perfecting my craft and make sure I give you the most. I make it look easy, but trust and believe me, if you tried to be me, I know youump. I don't want to settle. I want to do better, a whole, nother level. I'm talking about growth. It's open at night and not enough space to type the way I feel in this post. Think about friends and all the partners I miss, then places that I couldn't go. Sorry, but I gotta miss it. I'll be there in spirit. Damn, I feel like a ghost. I hit the stage and I float. Thank you,