Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
You're Not Alone: Why Struggle Seasons Are Normal for Everyone
Ever feel like you’re the only one who’s still trying to figure life out? Like everyone else has it together while you’re stumbling through, second-guessing yourself, wondering if you’re even on the right path? If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. Because the truth is—you’re not alone. We all go through seasons where we feel stuck, overwhelmed, or like we’re falling behind. But just because you feel lost doesn’t mean you are.
This episode is a powerful reminder that being human means having highs and lows, wins and doubts. You don’t have to carry everything by yourself, and you definitely don’t have to pretend you’ve got it all figured out. We talk about what it means to give yourself grace, question the negative stories in your head, and stay connected when your instincts tell you to isolate. If you’re in a struggle season—or just need to breathe and be reminded that it’s okay to not be okay—this is the conversation you didn’t know you needed. Press play. Let’s talk about it.
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Losing myself and finding my strength, came to the conclusion that I want it all, feeling that pressure of trying to do better. I want to reach heights, but too scared to fall, too scared to fail. You're way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying. That's terrifying. I understand that chasing my goals are burying my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know If I want to grow you breathe, what you reap, what you sow, that be the case. Planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes, the people that act like you, crazy but trying this, they fall away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate if they hate themselves because they on the shelf.
Speaker 1:Why you create a life that you love, a life that you love, yeah, loving the fact you improving yourself, decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do what the road got. Bumping your foot on the pedal, you go up a level. You turn up whenever it's time for you to go. Put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. One thing is for sure yeah, until they put me in this earth, before I ride in that hearse, I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love and affect you, improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it, to go, got punk and good foot in the gutter. I'm chasing my goals.
Speaker 1:All right, and welcome back to another episode. Thank y'all so much for being here. If you are watching me on youtube, you know what to do. Go ahead and like and subscribe to my channel. If you are listening to me on a podcast platform, you know what to do. Leave me a review. Also, please become a monthly supporter of the show. You can choose the amount. It can either be three, five, eight or ten dollars a month. You can cancel at any time. Why would you ever do that? Let's go ahead and dive in. This is going to be a quick one, but I feel like this one is important because I know somebody needs to hear this one. So I don't know if you've ever had one of those moments, and I'm having one right now.
Speaker 1:I'm sitting here reflecting on how far I've came since I started my music journey, and I remember the very first time I recorded something on my own. I borrowed one of my homeboy's laptop Jameel Jew to be exact because I literally had no equipment, didn't even have a microphone, and I recorded straight into the built-in mic on the laptop and at that time I thought it sounded pretty damn good right, considering how it turned out, and I was very proud of it. That was back in like 2016. And I'm thinking of where I am now. I'm still recording at home. And I'm thinking of where I am now. I'm still recording at home. But I also got a studio that I can afford to pay for every now and then that I go to and I also record at home in my at home studio. I got my own little setup where I record most of my music and my sound is way better. It sounds like I went to a studio and recorded it, and my music is now streaming on all platforms. I'm on Spotify, itunes, youtube, aha, radio, tidal. However you listen to music, if you put my name in, I'll pop up. You can hear me.
Speaker 1:And I've won two grants for music, both Minnesota State Arts Board grants. The first one was for $6,000. The purpose of that one was to fund me with a home studio, studio equipment, right Equipment, money for a website, money for training how to use the software and record myself. And the second one was to assist me in writing my hip hop play, which has been challenging as hell, right, but it's stretching me in a way. I know I'll look back and be so happy. I went through this and my music is also in rotation at a radio station, 94.1 in Frogtown in St Paul, and I'm sitting there reflecting and thinking how far I came since 2016. And I'm thinking about that version of myself back then and the way I will be looking at me right now if I could have looked into the future Right, and how I would be so damn proud of myself that I stuck with it, that I kept going.
Speaker 1:And maybe you have these moments in your life when you can think back to a prior version of you two years ago, five years ago, 10 years ago where you think back and look at who you used to be, what you accomplished and some of the things you got through, how much you've changed and grown, and look at you. Here you are and I think this is a good reminder and an important thing to do, but that is not what we're talking about today. We're talking about the human experience and just being human. I know that probably sounds random and weird, but it's a really important topic for all of us as we go through our seasons of life, because sometimes you might feel like you're the only one who's trying to figure things out, or like you're the only one who's kind of just stumbling along the way, that you're still searching for the right answers and you're not sure if you're pointed in the right direction, like you're going, but you're not sure if you're doing it right, right to get you, to get you to where you want to be. Or maybe you feel like you're not sure if you're doing it right, right To get you to get you to where you want to be. Or maybe you feel like you're the only one navigating what you're navigating and it's really hard and it's frustrating, no-transcript, and all of this is 100 percent normal.
Speaker 1:You are not alone. Yes, your problems are unique to you. You have your own problems that nobody else is going through. But the things that you're navigating right now, we all have similar problems. We all will experience things that in the same stratosphere as each other. Right, we all struggle at times. We all feel like we're barely figuring it out. We all struggle along the way. We're all figuring out how to adult while being an adult, maybe when we were young and we thought, oh, by the time I'm 30, I'm going to have life all figured out, right, how naive we used to be and look at us-ass adults looking to other adults to help us be better damn adults. Right, but just remember that you're not alone.
Speaker 1:If you happen to be finding yourself in a struggle season, you're not alone. Sometimes it's helpful to just remind yourself of that, and it's really important to be intentional about your thought patterns, because our thought patterns drive our beliefs about ourselves and our beliefs about our circumstances and the feelings we have about all that. So first thing that I want to talk about is, whatever struggle season we're in, we tend to make up this story in our heads that nobody will understand us, that nobody will get it. It's only happening to us, and I'm definitely guilty of this. But in these moments of doubt, we do the exact opposite of what we should be doing and we pull away from people, we ostracize ourselves, we borrow away when, as humans, what we truly crave and need is connection, to be understood and loved, but we tell ourselves the story that people won't understand us or understand what we are truly going through, and then tell ourselves that, because of that, we can handle it on our own, that we just have to bear it alone, right? Or we feel like we don't want to burden folks with our problems, we don't want to bother nobody and, like I said, this is the exact opposite of our human nature. We, as humans, need connection with people, we need love, we need that.
Speaker 1:And when we have these moments in this confusing and struggle season, we pull away and we feel that we have to do it on our own and it can start to feel debilitating and anxiety inducing. And the thing is, when we decide to take those actions, when we're alone, when we feel the struggle or anxious or loss, those actions might not end up serving us in the end. And what happens during those times? We start to look around at other people and we don't even realize this. But we start to look at other folks and you feeling low and the contrast of seeing other folks show you their highs and their perfectly edited lives and their wins, right, because they're not really showing you their whole life, how they struggle, how they actually don't have everything figured out. You might unintentionally be making this story in your head that they're so different that they don't get it. They don't get you because they don't struggle like you, like you have to, that it's harder for you than it is for them.
Speaker 1:And even though we probably fundamentally understand that this is not true, subconsciously we know that we really can't be the only one struggling Our brains still make us feel like this. So I'm here to tell you that when this happens, when you ostracize yourself and you turn inward with your struggle and you resist the urge to turn outward to other people in life that this is actually what you need to do. You need more connection, you need to talk to somebody, and also that during these times the good times or even the neutral times you are still in control of your thoughts. You always are. That's literally the only thing you can control. So you find yourself in a struggle season. Maybe it's right now, maybe you come up on one in the future, in the near future.
Speaker 1:I challenge you to take inventory of what you're actually thinking during these times, those thoughts running around in your head about your relationship or your career or your family or your financial situation, whatever it is. We have all these thoughts running around in our heads and we don't stop to question ourselves or to question those thoughts. We just accept them as truth when in reality those thoughts are not serving us. If you stop and think about what you're actually thinking, it's a good change. You realize that it's not even true and most likely a big reason why you're stuck. If you say I'm always this, or I'm never going to do that, or I'm never going to figure this out, or I'm too far behind, I'm not good at handling X, y, z, nobody's ever going to get me.
Speaker 1:If you're saying all these things in your head, you're literally telling your brain how to stay stuck. And then that self-confirming bias kicks in and your brain believes it and it becomes a part of your reality. Your brain looks for all these reasons to make those statements true. So first we have to recognize that we're not alone in these struggle seasons that we go through. We are not the only ones. There are folks out there going through similar seasons as you are and just acknowledge that that is not just happening to you. And then we have to question our thoughts and call those BS statements that are not conducive to where we want to go in life, with who we want to be, and, honestly, give yourself some grace.
Speaker 1:What you're experiencing is part of the full human experience, part of what happens when you go after something, especially when you go after something that's hard, that's a big goal. You will go through the full contrast of emotions that we all have and if you're feeling low or really struggling mentally for days in a row or longer, please, please, please, go talk to somebody, whether that's your friends, a family member, your significant other, somebody. Don't feel like you have to bear that burden on your own. Talk about it. And if it's really bad, then please seek professional help. Go get that support that you need. And again, these moments are human. You're having a human experience. Instead of being, instead of beating yourself up Right and feeling like nobody else gets it, you need to choose to give yourself grace and say I'm human. It happens to all of us. We're not always going to kill it every day. We're not always going to be excited every day. It's not always going to be exciting or easy, right.
Speaker 1:And one last thing, saying that you don't get to be cranky or in a bad mood, or that you shouldn't be sad or angry about something because people have it way worse than you. That's just as mood. Or that you shouldn't be sad or angry about something because people have it way worse than you. That's just as bad as saying you don't get to be happy or excited or in a great mood because folks have it way better than you. It don't make sense, right? Somebody will always be worse off than you. Somebody will always be better off than you. Life shouldn't be a comparison game. You shouldn't be comparing your life to other people's lives to validate your feelings or your thoughts. So if you're in a negative season or the negative headspace and you're cranky or angry or sad or whatever, it's okay, it's okay. And if you need to apologize because you were in a bad mood, then fine, apologize. But you do not get to beat yourself up about being in a negative mental space. We're human. It's going to happen from time to time.
Speaker 1:Don't spiral down just because you're not batting a thousand every day and I go through this a lot. I really do. If I'm rehearsing for a show and between this podcast and my workout business and creating and editing videos and content and trying to grow in multiple areas at the same time I get burnt out and I beat myself up a little bit and I had a moment where I questioned if I could do it all and I was down and I had to have a similar conversation with myself and get myself that grace. I had to remind myself that, hey, you're growing, you're experiencing these tough moments and that's normal. You're in a position that you've never been in before, doing everything you're doing and all that you have going on. Of course you're going to have these moments. It's part of the journey and eventually it'll be the opposite and you'll be in a great space again. I had to give myself that grace. It's really important to give yourself grace. You're not always going to be crushing it and you're never alone. We are in this together. So let's get it in. Give yourself grace, dust yourself off. You know that this is normal and that you got this. So that's what I got for you today.
Speaker 1:Like I said, very short and sweet, but I felt like I had to. I had to put this one out there for somebody to hear. But if you did like this episode, please share this with somebody that you think needs to hear this. Share it on your social media. I would love that, also become a supporter of the show. You can choose a monthly amount. It can be three, five, eight or ten dollars. You can cancel at any time. Why would you ever do that? All right, let's get to this music.
Speaker 1:The song I have for you today is called Getting To it. Let's ride out, I'm lonely. Okay, I'm getting to it. Yeah, uh, yeah, and it's my year and I'm gonna make that clear. Yeah, you pop, let's see right through it. Huh, get it. Wait, it's Dodge. When it get like me, come and sit by me, i'ma show you how to do it. Ay, and I've been spittin' fire like I'm sippin' lighter fluid. Ay, you try me, I come with it. Yeah, these batteries included. Ay, let's get it. Got a long way to go, okay, but I can't see how I can't ever go back those Green Bay Packers. I need cheese now and I feel like a cactus. Get too close, girl, you don't see how. And she want my subscription. No commitments that.
Speaker 1:I got a call. Y'all back. My grind been calling. I'm on speed dial. We don't got time for your nonsense. We've been working, we've been focused. Time to get to some fun shit. Time to step and get the ball rolling like we chilling at brunswick. I wish you had this same feeling.
Speaker 1:I'm elevated, I'm touching the ceiling, I know what I want, I'm calling and I'm placing my order. I'm about to go get it. No uber eats, nah. And they say time is money. That's why I ain't got no free time. Fake shit make me queasy. That's when I throw up the peace sign and every single picture I be repping. That take three sign. Tell me what you know about take three. Tell me what you know about being the man, but you got a face like a baby. Tell me what you know about having a plan. And you've been grinding daily and I ain't gonna stop. I looked at my watch. It's time for a shot. Who it is? I've been getting to it. Yeah, my career is right where it needs to be. I want to take a shot for every single person that believe in me.
Speaker 1:They told you I was sick, but you ain't listening like the cbc, and I kept my emotions bottled up like what genie's be? And I wish you would better. Yeah, I wish you could get like me, but you don't get it. I'm feeling so misunderstood, feeling so sticky, because I'm a man of my word. I said that I got a glue and I'm sticking to it. If you write me a check and i'ma Outro Music beauty, how I was a beast when I pick up a pen, just told moseley pick up some hands. Just told sap to pick up my keys because we finna get litty again. Party over. Yeah, we did it. Start me over at the beginning.
Speaker 1:I know what I want. I'm calling it. Now. I'm placing my order. I'm about to go get it. No uber eats, nah. And they say time is money. That's why I ain't got no free time. Fake shit, make me queasy. That's when I throw up the peace sign and every single picture I be repping I take three Sign. Tell me what you know about. Take three. Tell me what you know about being the man, but you got a face like a baby. Tell me what you know about having a plan that you been grinding daily and I ain't gonna stop. I looked at my watch. It's time for a shot. Who it is? I been getting to it.