Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
You Are Not Your Thoughts: Separating Identity from Mental Patterns
Ever catch yourself stuck in an endless loop of negative thoughts? That swirling thought pattern of "what-ifs" and worst-case scenarios that keeps you paralyzed? You're not alone—and more importantly, you're not actually an "overthinker."
The breakthrough realization I share in this episode is both simple and profound: you are not your thoughts. Just as your heart beats without your conscious control, your brain is designed to think—producing an average of 6,200 thoughts daily. The problem isn't that you think too much; it's what you're thinking about.
When we say we "overthink," we're really saying we're fixating on negative thoughts. After all, no one complains about thinking too much about things they love! Understanding this distinction gives you the power to observe your thoughts without identifying with them. Your thoughts are like passing clouds—you'd never say "I am that cloud" when looking at the sky, so why identify yourself with temporary mental patterns?
Ready to break free from overthinking? Listen now, and discover how changing the way you think can transform how you feel and ultimately how you act in pursuit of your goals.
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Losing myself and finding my strength, came to the conclusion that I want it all, feeling that pressure of trying to do better. I wanna reach heights, but too scared to fall, too scared to fail. You're way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying. That's terrifying. I understand that. Chasing my goals are burying my clocks because it take time. I gotta go. I already know if I wanna grow, you breathe what you sow. That be the case, planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes, the people that act like you crazy, but trying this, they fall away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate if they hate themselves because they on the shelf.
Speaker 1:Why you create a life that you love, a life that you love, yeah, loving the fact you improving yourself, decided that you would not settle, decided that you got the drive to do it. The road got bump in your foot and the pedal. You go up a level. You turn up whenever it's time for you to go. Put in that work. I know my worth. I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt. One thing is for sure, yeah, until they put me in this earth, before I ride in that hearse. I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Yeah, love and affect you, improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it, to go, got punk and good foot in the gutter. I'm chasing my goals.
Speaker 1:All right, and welcome back to another episode. Thank y'all so much for being here. If you are watching me on youtube, go ahead and like and subscribe to the channel. Do it right now. If you are listening to me on the podcast platform, please leave me a review and please become a supporter of the show. You can choose the monthly amount. It can either be three, five, eight or ten dollars. You can cancel at any time. But why would you ever do that?
Speaker 1:Today let's talk about the reality that you yes, you might be addicted to overthinking. A lot of us are. But first. First, let me break it down like this have you ever been in a situation or had the feeling that you were disappointed in yourself or had the feeling of being mad at yourself? We all been done that. We all been mad at ourselves for something at some point in our lives. But what if we had this, what if we had this perspective?
Speaker 1:And I heard this concept from another life coach and I think it's really impactful what if we separated the two? What if he broke down that statement up into two parts? I am disappointed with myself the I and then the myself. The I and then the myself. The I is who you are and the myself is the state of yourself that you are disappointed in.
Speaker 1:What I mean is you are not your thoughts, you yourself. Your body, your soul, your DNA, your brain are not your thoughts. You are separate from your thoughts. Your thoughts come and go like passing clouds and when somebody, including myself, classifies themselves as somebody who overthinks, I say no, you're not an overthinker, you're a person who tends to overly think about the wrong things.
Speaker 1:What do I mean when we overthink and we don't like the fact that we overthink? It's always and I repeat, always because the thoughts we think are negative ones. Always because the thoughts we think are negative ones. Because, let's be honest, let's say, you in love and you kept thinking about how much you love your partner and you thought all the time man, I love them, I love them so much, I'm just so in love with them, and it made you feel good to think about how much you love them. Would that be something you would want to stop overthinking? No, it's a good thought. You wouldn't mind thinking about that all day, right? So the reason why we don't like to overthink is because we're thinking about all the negative stuff, all the things that can go wrong. Second guessing our choices, preparing for the worst case scenario. We do that way too often.
Speaker 1:Another way to break it down. So you have a heart. Right, your heart's job is to beat. Would you ever say I want my heart to stop beating as much? No, you have lungs. Your lungs job is to breathe. Would you ever say I want my lungs to not breathe as much? No, you have a brain. What's your brain's job? Well, your brain has a lot of jobs, but in this case, your brain's job is to think. Studies show that your brain has, on average, 6,200 thoughts a day 6,200 a day. So it's safe to say that your brain's job is to think. And here we are, wishing it didn't do it as much. And, like I said, the reason is because we think about the things we don't want.
Speaker 1:You are not your thoughts. There's nothing you can say or think about yourself that will add or subtract to who you are. You're not a procrastinator. That's not who you are. That's something you happen to do. You're not an accountant. That's a job title. That's not who you are. It's something you happen to do. You're not an overthinker it's something you happen to do. And if it's something you happen to do, then it's something you can change. You are not your thoughts. They are just a part of you. They happen throughout your day. But your thoughts don't define who you are. They damn sure don't help. They damn sure help in determining who you become. That's a fact, right?
Speaker 1:But the biggest thing I want you to take away from this episode is that you have to pay close attention to your thoughts. You have to see your thoughts when they come in and recognize what they are and change them. If these thoughts are thoughts you don't want to have because a lot of those negative thoughts are thoughts we want to think If we had a choice, we wouldn't choose to think about that, but we do. But we can also choose to focus on changing the way we think. So, instead of judging ourselves or shaming ourselves for having a thought, or trying to shame ourselves into changing that thought, because that's definitely a thing. We recognize that we own that negative thought binge and we start shaming ourselves like what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you talking to yourself like this? And we fuss at ourselves Right, we don't want to think these things, but we still do. So what we should be doing is saying okay, that's not a thought I wanted. What do I want my thoughts to be instead? And again, you are not for thoughts.
Speaker 1:But guess what else is true? Your thoughts create your reality. Your thoughts create your reality. If you think of thoughts you don't want, then you probably creating a reality you don't want as well. No, a procrastinator is not who you are. It doesn't identify who you are, because it's not who you are. But if you keep thinking in your head how much you don't feel like doing something, how you really just don't want to do it all right now, then you're probably going to end up procrastinating, and procrastinating will be your reality. You will procrastinate. That will be your reality until you change it.
Speaker 1:And overthinking can be addicting for a lot of people. And what is an addiction? Well, an addiction is something you no longer have control over. It has control over you and you might feel. Well, no, I'm not addicted to overthinking. Ok, maybe you are right, maybe you're not addicted, but let me ask you this Do you have full control over your thoughts All of them or do you feel like some of your thoughts control you? Do some of your thoughts control your emotional state, your physical state, the way that you show up in the world? Does the way somebody treated you in the past still have an effect on you? When you hear Trump name, do you have a reaction? When you see cute puppies or cute babies, does it have an effect on you? Can you control that fully? Probably not.
Speaker 1:So you may not be addicted like a lot of us are, but you do have thoughts that you don't have control over. We all do, and it's not that we're using our minds wrong in these moments. It's just the fact that we're not using them at all. We have to be conscious of this, because it is a subconscious thing, and we have to hear the voice inside our head, understand and recognize that it is not you. You are not this voice. And no, you can't always control your first thought, but you can control your second thought. You can't control that second thought if that first thought ain't the thought that you wanted. So watch and observe. That voice is not you. You don't have to identify with it. Come to the realization and understanding that this voice is not you and observe what that voice is telling you.
Speaker 1:Right, if you're worried about the future, overthinking about it, maybe you were that the future. You read about the future because you're thinking about how your past was and you don't want your future to be the same. Look at it from this perspective and this is the ironic part about it. But we create futures in our head and these futures don't even exist. A lot of our overthinking comes from thinking about that future. We're scared of happening for us, a future we don't want, and we start worrying about this future, this fake future, whenever we created ourselves in our mind. And it ain't even real. It ain't real, it's not here Now. Our minds can be our worst enemy, but it can also be our best friend.
Speaker 1:Do this exercise with me, not if you're driving, because if you're driving, just do it with your eyes open, but do this Close your eyes and really try this. Close your eyes and I want you to visualize a red triangle. Picture a red triangle. Try to get it as clear as possible in your mind. How big is it? Is it 3D? Make it 3D. Is it spinning? See that red triangle? Okay, now I want you to make that red triangle turn into a blue square, a dark, navy blue square, and bring that square to the front of your brain and hold on to that image for a few seconds. A dark, navy, blue square 3D. Notice every detail about it. Okay, open your eyes, look around. Answer this question.
Speaker 1:At any point in time did you think to yourself I am that red triangle, I am that blue square? Nope, you didn't. Why? Because it was just something you were seeing in your head. Now, this was a silly exercise, silly example, but that's how your thoughts are. Your thoughts are just things in your head, futures that you create for yourself, outcomes you want or don't want to happen that don't really exist. So, the same way you wouldn't identify yourself with that red triangle in your head, is the same way you shouldn't identify with other thoughts that come into your head throughout your day Any judgmental thought, any negative thought, any self-doubting thought, any of that negativity.
Speaker 1:Now, on the flip side of this exercise, there was a valuable thing I had you do and I'm sure you caught it. The same way that you change that red triangle to a blue square, it's the same way you can change your negative thoughts into positive thoughts, just like your brain had the ability to change what you saw in your head. You can do that with the way you think. You can look at it and say, ok, well, that thought, right there, that's definitely a red triangle. Ok, damn, let's make that blue square. Or OK, I don't like this blue stuff, let's make it orange. You can observe it and say, huh, do I want this shape? Do I want this color? Am I wanting this image in my head? Maybe I want the color to be purple.
Speaker 1:Same way, when you have a negative thought or a judgmental thought and you see it in your mind and it's there and you can make that choice that you know what I don't want, that I don't want that stupid thought in my head. Let's change that to something else. Let's make that thought a positive one, because you know what? I'm not that red triangle, I'm not that blue square, you are not your thoughts. Again, a silly example, but it's still facts and I'm having to do that myself a lot lately and you've been listening to me for a couple of episodes. If you have been listening to me for a couple of episodes, if you have been listening to me for a couple of episodes, you might have caught exactly what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:So, for those of y'all who don't know, I recently won a Minnesota State Arts Board grant and the purpose of this grant is to go towards supporting me in writing a hip hop play, and I talk about that a lot on here and I talk about how hard it is, how challenging it is, and how do you think my brain is going to approach sitting down and writing this thing when I set that time aside to write it? There's going to be some friction. Of course it will be some friction. I don't tell myself time and time again how hard it is, and your brain looks for validation when it looks for validation from whatever you tell it Right. If I can't figure out the right word to rhyme with, or if I wrote a scene that I don't think is strong enough, my brain going to tell me, yep, this is hard, it's hard as hell. I told you that don't sound right. Nope, don't write that, man, this is so damn hard. And that's exactly what was happening. And I will come on this podcast and tell you all the time how hard it is writing this play.
Speaker 1:Again, we all do it and I preach about changing your thoughts all the time and look at me doing the exact same thing I preach not to do on here while I'm preaching about other stuff. So it ain't just you and that definitely ain't the only negative thoughts I have, right, and I'm sure you have several of them. Anyway, you have to consciously view your thoughts, consciously see your thoughts and clock it in your consciousness. And, yes, you will have those negative thoughts and they won't be good and they probably won't make you feel good. But let me be the dead horse again and say it again you are not your thoughts and you absolutely cannot judge yourself for these thoughts. Don't judge yourself when something comes up that's negative. Don't judge your thoughts and don't judge yourself based off of your thoughts. Some of the things we tell ourselves and believe and identify with is horrible. Like I always say, all the negative things we say to ourselves we would never say to our children or our loved ones.
Speaker 1:So watch and pay attention to your thoughts and once you're aware of them, you can actively be in control of them, and that's when you can take over. Most folks out there are not consciously aware of taking control of the thoughts. Do me a favor, do this Take a deep breath with me. Breathe into a five, count. Here we go, and one, two, three, four, five. Exhale One, two, three, four, five. Now were you breathing before I told you to take a deep breath? Yes, you were, but were you thinking about your breath before I told you to take a deep breath? No, not until I told you to consciously think about your breathing. Your consciousness and intentionality about how you're breathing change, and this is why this is what you should be doing with your thoughts Now.
Speaker 1:Will your mind get out of hand sometimes and go on a negative binge and wonder and overthink and spiral? Yes, that's going to happen. But as soon as you notice it happening, bring it back to what you want it to do. Think about all that, all the routine things we do that we don't even need to think about, like washing our hands or brushing your teeth or tying your shoes Right these are things we don't have to think about. Or scrolling on your phone especially scrolling on your phone. These are mundane things, but think if you were to actively make your brain present in those moments and this is going to sound strange and really focus on what you're doing, even though it's really simple and boring or insignificant. What if you took those moments to sharpen your mental awareness? So let's say, if you're washing your hands, think about how the water falls off your hands, how the soap is bubbling as you rub your hands. Or if you tie your shoe, notice how the laces are woven through the lace holes in your shoe Right, how each bend in the lace is actively supporting your shoe and keeping it on your foot.
Speaker 1:This might seem like a strange exercise, but think about training a dog, let's say, to walk on a leash. Do you let that dog just pull you in the direction it wants to go, or do you take control and guide the dog to where you want it to go? Right, you guide it to where you want it to go because you are in control, and doing these little exercises will help you strengthen that mental leash you have on your thoughts. Don't let your mind be that dog that just want to pull you in every direction, right, it wants to take you to go all over the place. You have to be in control, right and just like that dog who won't learn how to properly walk next to you after one walk. Just like it takes practice and repetition to get the dog to walk on a straight line, to walk with you, you have to do the same thing with your mind and your thoughts. You're not going to stop overthinking right away. It takes practice, it takes effort, it takes repetition and deliberateness.
Speaker 1:So, again, what it all comes down to is your thoughts are just things. Your mind is a tool. It's not something that you should identify with because you are completely separate from your mind. It just happens to be a part of you and your thoughts are like passing clouds. You never look up and say, damn, I like that cloud, that cloud is me, I am cloud, no, right. Or that cloud makes me feel bad, I don't like how that cloud looks, I'm sad, I'm cloud, no, never identify yourself with your thoughts.
Speaker 1:And I keep beating this dead horse. I know I am, but I have to say this because we have these negative things that are bothering us, that we have been carrying with us for too long. Right, our identity with ourself. Right, it is not this feeling. Don't say I'm depressed, say I'm not feeling good today or I'm going through some things today, but I don't identify with that, right? Don't say I'm anxious or I'm sad, or I'm this thing or I'm that thing. I'm feeling sad today, right, it's OK to feel these feelings, it's OK to have those experiences. That's human. But you can't identify with that. You are not those things.
Speaker 1:We have to disassociate ourselves from our mind. Your sense of self shouldn't come from your mind and your thoughts, but it should come from what you do and who you are, because our thoughts can fool us into thinking that we are something that we are not, and we all know those people. They think they all that, when in reality they ain't even close. Like nah, bruh, you ain't that, and we all see it. And that could be true with our thoughts and how we negatively identify certain aspects of ourselves and our lives.
Speaker 1:So say the same thing to yourself Nah, bro, that'll make you a procrastinator. You just procrastinating more than you want to right now, and you just aware of it now, right, and you're working on it. If you stop thinking right now, you will still be alive. Yes, you would. If it was possible to turn off all your thoughts, you would still be alive, right? So, therefore, your thoughts are just that, something that your body does realize that you are not your thoughts, and that you have to be in complete control of it. Remove the distractions, understand that you can change the way you think and if you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel. And if you change the way you feel, it'll make it easier to take those actions towards the goals you're working towards. So that's what I got for you today.
Speaker 1:Thank you all again for being here. Please share this episode to your social media if you think it helped you, or share with someone who you loved, that family member or that friend. Also become a supporter of the show. You can choose the amount $3. We'll be right back and be strong and lean on me. Gonna lean on you. Welcome to Eastside High. You can lean on me. Live life on a high. Still keep it low key. So, dope, I can be your OZ. You better thank GOD For your moolah.
Speaker 1:If you heard my name, it's a rumor. I'm on they brain like a tumor. I make them hoes sweat like Zumba. I mean them bitches, I mean them women. I mean I'm tripping, I mean I'm sipping. I already had two cups, whatever path I choose to run, whether running them streets or running them business meetings. Better lay your shoes up and put a button that suit up. If you was to ever fall and catch a bad break, man, you can lean on me like a new crutch. G-double-o-d. Nigga. You good, you know where I be. Nigga, pull up. They can never eclipse me, they can't. We'll be right back.
Speaker 1:He said why not you? He said do it for the fam, do it for your blood, like I'm Pairoo. And this shiky head tries to pull me down. But I'm too fly boo. This is what the fuck I do. Still got a bird's eye view. But who can you trust when people try to throw you under the bus? I just want a window seat Me and a recub. I do. I know they want me to strike out.
Speaker 1:I'm still big. Yeah, used to be so little, but now I'm in beast mode. I need some skittles and I've been knocked down. They was looking at me like he ain't gonna get up and she ain't like rolling. No E man, she ain't gonna fill up. Yeah, they better pay me. I need more Skrilla. Couldn't be familiar. Looking at me like I'm in your mirror, looking at you like I need your liver. Damn dog. Why you being so bitter, mind your own. I'll be in your business and the world keep turning. The world keep on spinning. My team good. We keep on winning them. Police gonna keep on killing. It's amazing how we keep on living, telling me opportunity knocks. Where I'm from is ding dong ditching and we can't breathe, but they ain't gonna listen.
Speaker 1:You could take a double star reform cup and pull it all over my shirt, so so, in other words, you can lean on me, put everything on me. Sometimes you got it, I'm the one you can't. I know you're going to be straight. Hold your head and be strong and lean on me. Can I lean on you? Yeah, sometimes you got it, I'm the one you can't. I know you gon' be straight. Hold your head and be strong and lean on me. Can I lean on you? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Lean on me, lean on me, you.