Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
When the Road Gets Bumpy
When the path gets bumpy, most people start doubting themselves — but what if the struggle is exactly how the journey is supposed to feel? In this episode, we talk about navigating the tough seasons: the setbacks, the resistance, and the moments when you feel like you’re barely hanging on. You’ll learn why challenges don’t mean you’re on the wrong path, how to reframe the “hard parts,” and why adopting a new identity is the key to moving forward.
We dive into how to expect resistance without letting it define you, how social media fuels unrealistic expectations, and what it really takes to stay consistent when everything feels uphill. Whether you’re building a business, chasing a creative dream, working toward personal growth, or simply trying to figure out what’s next, this episode will help you keep going — and remind you that the struggle is part of becoming who you’re meant to be.
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Losing myself and finding my strength came to the conclusion that I want it all. Feeling that pressure of tryna do better. I wanna reach heights, but too scared to fall. Too scared of failure, way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying, that's terrifying. I understand that chasing my goals, I bury my clocks because it takes time. I gotta go. I already know. If I wanna grow, you reap what you sow. That be the case. Planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I make mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes. The people that act like you're crazy, but trying this, they far away. They don't think it's possible, I think it's possible. That is just hate. If they hate themselves, cause they on the shelf. While you create a life that you love. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A life that you love. Loving the fact to improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it. The road got bumped in your foot on the pedal. You go up a level, you turn up whenever. It's time for you to go put in that work. I know my work, huh? I know it ain't gonna be easy, yeah. I know it hurt, but thing is for sure. Yeah. Until it put me in this earth. Before I ride in that hearse, I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals. Loving the fact to improving yourself. Alright, and welcome back to another episode. Thank y'all so much for being here. If you are listening to me on a podcast platform, go ahead and leave me a review. Those help me out a whole lot. If you are watching on the podcast platform, go ahead and like and subscribe to the channel. I also become a monthly supporter of the show. Um, it helps me keep this thing going. You can choose the monthly amount. It could either be three, five, eight, or ten dollars. You can counsel at any time, but why would you ever do that? But let's go ahead and dive in. Today I want to talk about the journey, the path you're on, and even just the way you're navigating life right now, when it starts to get a little bumpy, when it starts to get hard, when the curveballs get thrown your way, and then get to a point where you just feel like you're just trying to hold on. Like, man, I know I should be doing this and working on that thing, but right now, man, I'm just here, hanging on by a thread. We all have those seasons, and I want to share some things with you. So, whatever that thing is that you set out to do, to achieve, to finish, to start, especially if it's something new, we have to expect that there will be setbacks. I say that all the time on here, but I want to say it again. There's gonna be that bumpy road. It's gonna get hard. This is part of the pursuit. Whatever it is you're chasing, again, especially if it's something you've never done before. We can be starting something and not even currently identify as that thing, right? Like this podcast, for example. I've been doing this podcast for a few years. I got over 275 episodes out, and I still have moments when I feel like I haven't really done anything. I get caught up in looking at how many numbers and strings I don't get or how far I feel like I should be, when in reality, I'm doing good work. Work I can be proud of. Meaningful work, putting out a message to the world that is literally helping people. And as an artist, that's why we make art. Right? I know this ain't art, but I'm still an artist and I'm making a difference. Plus, it's another platform that I share my music on. Like I always say, if you told me five years ago I would be doing all this, I would have asked you how did I convince people to work for me because ain't no way I'm gonna be doing all that by myself. But you may be doing something new for the first time, and it's important to remind yourself that that this is new, that you've never done it before. So of course, you're gonna feel lost. Of course, you're gonna have moments where you feel like you don't know what to do next. Of course, you never did it before. And maybe this applies to where you are in general in the world, in your world. And so the question is, what if you just decided the path you're on right now, this path towards where you want to go, whether that's a pro for a promotion or a health goal, a business goal, career goal, even something like building your network of friends in a new city? What if what would it feel like if you decided that this is supposed to go this way? Even if it feels like resistance or curveballs, or you have setbacks or mistakes, when the road gibbus when the road gets bumpy, what if you just expect that it was supposed to go this way? How can that change the way you feel about it? A good example is this project I'm working on. Um I won a Minnesota State Arts Board grant, and the purpose of this grant is to support me in writing a hip hop play. Side note, in the grant I put that I would share the music with my podcast community, so y'all will be getting some sneak peeks real soon. But writing this play, it's been challenging as hell, to say the least. I thought I would be way further along by now. I thought I would be able to just sit down and the ideas would just flow. They would just come. I would just start writing, and I would think it sounded profound and good, and I would be proud of it, and I would just feel like I was living my dream, combining hip-hop and theater. But again, it's been challenging, and for one, I had to change my language around it. I had to check myself and remind myself that, yeah, Dotch, you are living a dream. You get to write this piece of artwork, and it's going to be unique because you know how you write as a hip-hop artist. You know that all the plays you've done that you've been in and seen that have hip-hop in it, it don't really feel like or sound like true hip-hop, and you have a unique voice to be able to bring a real hip-hop sound to theater. And I had to change my I had to change my vocabulary from this is hard to I'm figuring out what works. I'm figuring out what's working. And also to remind myself that duh, fool, you ain't never wrote a play before. Let alone a hip-hop play. Of course, you're gonna have a learning curve. Of course, it won't be all smooth selling, of course, you're gonna feel lost from time to time. Who the hell do you think you are that you can pick something up and be perfect at it right away? And we do that, don't we? I know I'm I know I'm not the only one that does that. That that tried something for the first time and did okay with it in the beginning, then realized, damn, this is kinda hard. Then felt discouraged because it was hard. Like, duh, dummy, of course it's hard. You knew. You green at this. Anyway, I'm feeling that resistance with this project and I'm changing the way I look at it. I'm expecting it and I'm prepared to deal with it when it does come. But are you stepping into this new thing, expecting it to all go smooth? What if we had the mindset that this is supposed to feel like I don't know if I can do this sometimes? Right? What if we had that perspective that it was supposed to go the way it's going right now, even if it don't make sense? Well, I can tell you one thing, it'll help prevent that doubt from creeping in. That I don't know if I can really do this type of doubt, right? Be more prepared for it. Expect it, expect it to not all be smooth selling. And of course, social media will make you think the exact opposite, right? People post their highlight reels, the best angles, their perfectly curated content, and it can seem like for some people it's just always perfect. That what they got going on is just better than yours, that they have all these moments, or that they don't have the same moments, the same curveballs that you have. Do not be fooled. They have problems too, they experience it too. And when it comes to your own path, we're human, we're smart. We all know and understand that there's no way the path is gonna be linear. We can cognitively understand that, but we still get caught up in our expectations that we're gonna constantly just be killing it, that we're gonna be doing the damn thing, just doing it, and only getting better and better and better. We get caught up in thinking progress will be constant. And what happens? When eventually it goes different than the way we saw it in our head, and that progress ain't constant, it can be easy to throw in the towel. And we feel like giving up, like we're not capable. And me personally, I don't like that story. Because that story just ain't the truth. There's always going to be resistance, there's always gonna be a curveball, always gonna be chant challenges, especially if that goal is a big one. You better not be thinking that those big goals you have, those supersized goals, don't come with a side of setbacks and challenges. And I don't want you to think I'm telling you to walk your life and just have this pessimistic attitude that you should walk around and only look at the bad and only see the glass half empty. What I'm saying is that you should expect the resistance, and when you do get it, that don't don't allow it to mean that you're not capable, that it can't be done. Don't tie that resistance to your identity. And that's so important. You have to make it mean that it's just part of the path, part of the journey, that's that it's inevitable. Inevitable and not undefeatable. If that's a word. Is it a word? Anyway, expect it. Like it's normal because it really is. What would it feel like if you decided, if you made a conscious decision, even when you write smack dab in the middle of that bumpy road, right in the middle of that part that feels hard, what if you decided that, yep, this is how we're supposed to be? And I can tell you from first hand that being able to keep going and telling yourself that it's supposed to be like this over time, that stuff makes you so damn mentally strong. I feel like I can do anything. It's probably why I'm so damn, why I try to do so damn much. Because I feel like nothing can stop me, even when it's hard. Like those moments I have where I be doing that thing I be telling y'all not to do, getting caught up and not being where you want to be and wanting to be there faster and not accepting that your path is your path and that it's gonna be hard. And for me, like with this podcast, one of the hard parts is figuring out how to get my views and followers and subscribers to get them to keep going up. Sometimes I get so frustrated, damn near to the point of feeling almost depressed, and I be really down about it. And I have to check myself and remind myself of all the things that we've been talking about. That no, I don't have that following yet. But if I keep working at it, if I keep perfecting my craft in the meantime, if I keep pushing and keep working on myself and keep making this podcast better, when they do come and really show up, I'm gonna be so much better and so far ahead and truly ready for my moment, for that success. These are gonna be moments that I reflect on and say, Yeah, that was hard. It wasn't easy, but I did it. And I know it's gonna feel so damn good when I get there. But let me give you a few things. So, first, there has to be an identity shift. How can you tie your goal or that thing you're going after to your identity? I identify as a podcast host, I identify as a writer. If you're training for a marathon, identify as a runner. If you're working on starting a business or you only and you only made a few sales, identify as a business owner. If we don't accept that identity, you can miss out on some important characteristics to develop. Characteristics of the very person who is accomplishing those goals, the characteristics they have. Right? The characteristics they have are the kind of person who accomplishes those goals. How can you make your goal a part of your identity? If you're on a weight loss journey, and this one is when I was just having a conversation with uh with somebody about if you're trying to lose weight and you have this weight loss goal, there's a good chance that you only are going to be focusing on that end goal. And that can be hard to keep going. Instead, what you should be doing is focusing on adopting the identity of a person who works out, of somebody who loses weight. Change your mindset around it and say, I have a healthy lifestyle. I work out and I push myself at the gym. I train regularly. Right? Think about how that person feels and thinks. That person becomes dedicated to the lifestyle, dedicated to changing the lifestyle overall, and they start eating better as a habit, not as a diet. They start working out as part of their life, not as part of a number they want to hit on the scale. They're driven to be consistent and create a new identity. That's gonna be what sustains them and keeps them going and nurtures change. How can you shift your identity to be tied to your goals? If you're an entrepreneur, identify as that. Especially if you're an entrepreneur or on your entrepreneurial journey, or you just started a business, you know, building that business on your own, you can have the worst day and the best day, and it can happen all in the same hour sometimes. Literally. You know what it's going to be like. You know you have to put in a lot of work in the beginning stages, and you more than likely won't see a lot of money at first. You know that working for yourself is way more than what it could be or what it would be if you had a typical nine to five, at least in the beginning. Most of the time, especially in the beginning part, right? Part of your identity will have to be that you are the kind of person who figures things out, who works through missteps. Because if you have that business, you know that role gets bumpy. If you identify as a person who is into fitness, then you know there's gonna be a lot of days that you do not feel like working out. You know that you're gonna hit a plateau every now and then. You know that you won't be getting stronger, that you're gonna stay at the same strength level for a little bit. So when that season of doubt pops up, you can look at your identity and say, Well, you know what? I'm somebody that goes to the gym. Even on days I don't feel like it. You know what? I'm the kind of person that can work through this problem. I'm the kind of person that understands sometimes it's just gonna take a little more time working on it than I thought I would, than I thought it would. I'm the kind of person that's gonna get better at this thing. Identity is so important. What you should say is, I'm the kind of person who identifies as having a beautiful marriage. So when we have seasons where marriage is hard, you'll have faith that it's gonna get figured out because marriages have ups and downs. And I've never been married, so take or delete it. But I think it's important to really ask yourself, how does somebody who identifies how you identify, how do they act? What are their habits? What is their perspective? How do they view themselves? How do they talk to themselves? How do they navigate setbacks? What are their routines? That's a really good one. Lean into that identity. One of the things I did, and it was a small shift I made, but it really helped me. Even though when I did it, I wasn't fully in a space where I felt like I was ready to identify with it. But the simple shift I made that I ended up that ended up being a big shift for me in the long run was I changed my email signature. So instead of my name and email and phone number, now it says Darius Dodge, actor, hip hop artist, fitness and life coach. And just that little shift, it did a lot for me. Seeing my title on every email made me really start to step into how I show up in space, it's how I identify with all the things I have going on. Now that I'm professionally calling myself these things, professionally calling myself these things, it made me really lean into that identity. And how can you just fully cannonball into that thing and fully dive into that identity? Could that be the change you really need? How can you identify and what you're working on so you can realize that some of the bumps along the way are just part of it? That you're meant to learn from these mistakes, from these bumpy roles. And also, which is really important, that when you do have these obstacles, eventually it will be smooth again. That as you're fighting what feels like an uphill battle, eventually you will go downhill again, and it'll be much easier. And again, this podcast is proof. It was an uphill battle to get it started, not knowing what the hell I was doing, just taking action and staying consistent. Then it got easier for me, and what happened? I ended up coasting. I started coasting. Like I said, I'm over 275 episodes in. Talk about going downhill, and here I am going back up another hill, fighting another uphill battle as I learned to get better at growing it. Like I always say, I'm on a journey with you, so keep working, lean into that identity, understand that the struggles are part of it, expect them, and also expect that sooner or later you will be going back downhill, you'll be better at whatever that thing is you're doing, and I truly believe that. So, that's what I got for you today. Um, thank y'all for listening. Please share this on your social media um and make sure you tag me in it. I also become a monthly supporter of the show. You can choose the amount, the monthly amount. It can either be three, five, eight, or ten dollars. You can cancel at any time, but why would you ever do that? Let's let's go ahead and get to this music. The song I got for y'all today is way up. Let's ride out. My finger glued to the play button. A wise man speaks because he has something to say. A fool speaks because he has to say something. Let's play though. Tell me what you think about me. Psych. Try your luck with you gambling. I try my luck with gymnastics. Hoping my money through backflips. I'm flippin', I flip, speaking, I'm flippin', I'm flippin' out. If you ain't with it, I'll flip you out. Flippin' the bird, flip out the mouth. I feel like we flat.
unknown:Woo!
SPEAKER_00:I'm finna flip up a top rope. Got me in your micro score. Feel like it's a different type of score. You wish you could do it, uh. Fly like a pistol. I'ma lock it like the droad. I'm the one who keep the vault. One time with George Floyd, a moment of silence. Man, open your eyelids, I see the violence. Yeah, I need some guidance, yeah. You see me smiling, cause I'm looking past you. I see the horizon, yeah. I'm gonna ride like who got it. And my face high like Ollie. Need a shot, I got it. I took another child to hit a seat. You know the records all history. And she love my dirty mouth. On packing, so listed win. All games if I hit the wig. All sweatin' when I hit the seat. All pants, I'm not in my seat. Tell my ticket, I've been on my feet. Stand up, uh, gotta stand for something right, can't be down for nothing right. They pushin' me to the edge. Hold up, I'ma jump tonight. Fine, I'm jumping, I'm gone, I jump. Now I'm up, I was stuck. Just my luck. I looked in the mirror, my vision got clear with I shook up the dust. And I've been turning it, turning it, turning it, turning it up. I'm way here up, yeah. I'm way here up, uh I'm the one that came to void. I'm the real like McCoy. I come with a noise.
unknown:I'm way up, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I'm way here up, yeah, uh like boy, bounce on them like void. I'ma never be destroyed. Two times for George Floyd, I'm on a stylist. And I know what about him is, making sure I'm opposite. My life matters, boy, I'm legit, put known for my niggas, representing like a compliment. Look at what I've been accomplishing. I don't even want acknowledgement. You can hold all the compliments. Cause I know when it's kind of fit. When I'm talking, pay attention. Can't be toppin' when you listen. Take notes, hope you've gotten this. Take a picture for your document. Stick with it, should be in the clinic. Yeah, something like mayo. Watchin' y'all try to catch up. You can hold all the compliments. God, please keep the fake away. I'm on no kind of following. Some tell me they bluffin' Fuckin', I'm done, I'm bumping my jump. Yeah. You see, at this point, you either with me or you against me. And if you with me, I appreciate it. Because I know you get me. But if you against me, I suggest you be dumb. And guess what? I'm way here up, I'm the way up, yeah. I'm way here up, yeah. Uh I'm the one you came to void. I'm the real like McCoy. I come with that noise.
unknown:I'm way here up, we're here up, yeah. I'm way here up, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Uh flapsin' on them like boy, bounce on them like void. I will never be destroyed. Three times for George Floyd, a moment of silence. Rest in peace, I'm out Alberry. Brianna Taylor, Drayvon Martin, Stefan Clark, Tamir Rice, Philando Castillo, Jamal Clark, Walter Scott, Ataxiana Jefferson, Freddie Gray, Sandra Bland, Alsa Sterling, Emmett Tier, Pamela Taylor, Eric Gardner, Michael Brown. Rest in peace, toe ever will and has tragic the past. My foot on the gas, and I just left it. Fuckin' I'm jumping, I'm gone, I jump. Uh You see the thing is, these tears ain't gonna last forever. I looked in the mirror, my vision got clear with I shook up the dump. And I've been turning the turning, turning the turning the up. I'm way up, I'm wearing up, yeah. I'm way up, yeah, uh I'm the one you can't avoid. I'm the real like McCord. I come with that noise. I'm way up, we're uh flexing on them like voice, bounce on them like voids. I will never be destroyed.