Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
Comfort Feels Good Until It Doesn’t
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Comfort feels good — until it doesn’t.
In this episode, we talk about what comfort is really costing you, and why staying in your comfort zone might be the very thing holding you back from the life you want.
You’ll learn how your brain tricks you into choosing safety over growth, how to recognize the “cost of comfort” in your everyday life, and what to do to start pushing past it — one small step at a time.
This one’s for anyone who’s tired of feeling fine… but not fulfilled. It’s time to stop living under your own glass ceiling and start stretching into the version of yourself you were meant to become.
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Anthems Of Ambition
SPEAKER_01Losing myself and finding my strength came to the conclusion that I want it all. Feeling that pressure of tryna do better. I wanna reach heights, but too scared to fall. Too scared of failure. Way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying, that's terrifying. I understand that chasing my goals, I bury my clocks because it takes time. I gotta go. I already know if I wanna grow, you reap what you sow. That be the case. Planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes. The people that act like you're crazy, but trying this, they far away. They don't think it's possible. I think it's possible. That is just hate. They hate themselves, cause they on the shelf. While you create a life that you love.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01A life that you love. Loving the fact to improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it. The road got bumped in your foot on the pedal. You go up a level, you turn up whenever. It's time for you to go put in that work. I know my worth, huh? I know it ain't gonna be easy. Yeah, I know it hurt, but thing is for sure. Yeah. Until it put me in this earth. Before I ride in that hearse, I'm chasing my goals. I'm chasing my goals.
SPEAKER_00Loving the fact to improving yourself.
Welcome And Supporter Shoutouts
SPEAKER_01Alright, and welcome back to another episode. Thank y'all so much for being here. If you are on YouTube, go ahead and like and subscribe to my channel. Like right now, just go ahead and like and subscribe. It takes you two seconds. Also, if you are listening on the podcast platform, please leave me a review. Those things help me out a whole lot. Also, become a monthly supporter of the show. You can choose the monthly amount. It can either be three, five, eight, or ten dollars. That's the equivalent of buying me a cup of coffee. I need it. And again, it's not a whole that's not a lot to you. But anyway, it will be greatly appreciated. Let's go ahead and get
Defining The Cost Of Comfort
SPEAKER_01to this episode. Today, let's talk about comfort and specifically what comfort is costing you. And a lot of people are stuck in their comfort and they don't even realize it. They that they are stuck, and comfort has put this glass ceiling above them, and they just won't ever get past it. They won't ever be able to break through that ceiling. And maybe you are in a comfort zone and you like it there and you don't want to leave it. And if so, more power to you, this episode is uh is not for you. Maybe you're a person with a good job and you have a good relationship with your partner, with your kids, and you like the place you live, and you like everything about your life, your finances, your health, your job, your hobbies, your growth, and everything is just fine. Just fine. But fine ain't great. Fine is not great. Fine is familiar. It's what you're comfortable with, it's what your body and mindset and routines are used to. Fine is safe. And most people you know, they never even think about this kind of thing. They never even question it and they settle in life, and they just get in the mundane routine of life. Then what happens? They get to a point where they just can't take it anymore. And that mundane, it starts to eat away at them a little bit. Like they have this big lack of inspiration. They just feel like blah every day. They just feel like something is missing in their life. They feel like they could be doing something way better, something amazing with their life. And they come to a realization that they really just don't like their life. And that can be scary to think about. And you see it, you hear about it, you know it's a thing, and maybe that's your life. Either way, let's dive in and talk about it. Let's talk about this trap, this ceiling we put over our own selves, and how to not let that be a reality.
Why Our Brains Prefer Safe
SPEAKER_01So, first of all, it's important to understand why we decide to go the comfortable route in the first place, even when we fundamentally know what it leads to. Because we all get it, that nothing in life truly amazing is just easy. The amazing job. Yeah, you may love the amazing job, but it comes with a lot of responsibility. You might have had to go to school for it or have to have some sort of certification for it, right? Everybody wants that great life, the special experiences, the vacations, the nice house, nice cars, all the joy and happiness. We all want that, but we still choose comfort. Even when we know if we want all that, we gotta get uncomfortable because none of that just comes easy. And in reality, we choose comfort because it's a default. We default to it. Your brain is wired to seek out that comfort. It's survival, it's a mechanism to keep you safe. Your brain does not want you to do things that ain't comfortable. It just doesn't. It don't want new, it doesn't want you outside your comfort zone, it doesn't want the unknown. Why? Because these are all risks, these are all uncertainties. Your brain desires predictability, it desired it desires control. All it cares about is survival. And to survive, you need to be safe. And comfort is safe. In comfort, there is no uncertainty or risk or threat. If your brain can predict that you'll be safe, then it'll keep wanting to do the safe thing. Because uncertainty to our ancestors used to mean danger. Back when people lived in tribes and out in the wilderness, uncertainty could be death. If you came across some land you'd never been to before and you don't know what kind of danger is out there, what kind of wildlife that might try to eat you, what the weather patterns are, right, and how to predict the harvest and drought times, that could mean life and death. You don't know if there's a cliff that you might fall off, right? You can't, you don't know what the landscape is, but your brain today is still wired the same way. Like it was way back then. So being safe, it means that you don't try new things. You don't push yourself outside your comfort zone. But to your brain and your nervous system, new means danger. And it's so important to get your brain used to doing new things, to get it used to stepping outside its comfort zone, to get it used to doing things you never did before, used to asking for more, used to leaving that job that doesn't feel right for you, right? Used to starting a business, used to ending that relationship that you should have ended years ago, used to showing up in life as your true authentic self, who you truly are. Because the truth of the matter is your brain doesn't know the difference between you saying, you know what, I want to make a change in my career, from you, from you saying, you know what? I might die if I change. And then that thing happens, right? And you feel like you want more in life, you feel like you want better, you have that dream, you have that vision, and you decide to do something about it, and your brain is like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stay right here. You can't do that. Why would you do that? You don't want all that attention.
The Pain Of Inaction
SPEAKER_01That's gonna be way too hard. Don't you realize they're gonna judge you, they're gonna talk about you, they're about to be watching you. And right here is where it's so important to take it upon yourself, to put that responsibility on yourself to get yourself out of that comfort zone to get uncomfortable. And I know it's hard because comfort feels good, it just does. Sitting on the couch, looking at TikTok, scrolling on IG, binging Netflix, relaxing and doing nothing, it feels good until it doesn't. It feels good until it doesn't, which is what we need to talk about today. Because when it stops feeling good down the road, it's because that future will have caught up to you. That future, that reality of all the things your life is and isn't, the cost of comfort. The cost of comfort. If you want to make a change, you need to make yourself look at those future costs. That fine print in this comfort zone contract you signed up for by staying comfortable. And the thing is, most people look at the other costs, right? The the cost of taking action, of having to put in work, of having to be uncomfortable, of taking a risk, the cost of losing some free time, the cost of losing some sleep, of investing in something, the cost of possibly being judged, the cost of action, right? Too many times we get caught up on these costs. Don't get caught up in looking at the cost of action. What we need to do is remind ourselves about the cost of inaction. That's when the pain of staying the same is more painful than the pain of change. When the pain of staying the same is more painful than the pain of change. And that's an Alcoholics Anonymous quote. But I'll be damned if it ain't real and if it don't if it don't apply to what you got going on and what you want. What are you actually giving up when you choose comfort? What are you missing out on later in life? When you say yes to something, you say no to something else. When you say yes to not working out, to not going to the gym, to not eating right, you say no to a healthy body and living longer. When you say yes to a job you hate, you say no to creating that business or eventually finding that job you actually love. When you say yes to Netflix and not putting in the time to working on yourself, then you say no to a future version of you that's in a better place mentally to get that life you want. That comes with a cost. There is no growth without discomfort. There is no growth without discomfort, and that's just a fact. I know this first hand with so many things, like this podcast, uh, my music, editing
Stagnation Vs Stretching Yourself
SPEAKER_01videos. When I first started out editing videos and clips, it was because I wanted to market my business, but I wasn't trying to pay for somebody else to do it because back then, a few years ago, um, one, I didn't have the money to do it. But the fancier your videos look with graphics and the lyrics on the screen and the special effects, that would be what grabbed folks' attention. It's changed a little bit now, which is a whole different story, but uh I had to do it all myself. And I did, and it was hard. And I messed up a lot. I had full videos I had to just scrap because I messed up so bad on it. And I'm talking about like me spending hours on this video, had to start all over or try a different thing. Then over time, um, I kept getting better and better at making videos, and that turned into business opportunities for me. I started getting paid to make and edit videos for people, for schools, for other artists. But none of that was possible without me making myself uncomfortable and taking that action. Don't let yourself get caught up in the trap of being stagnant. You cannot be stagnant, even though it's comfortable. Because when you think about something that's stagnant, like water, think about stagnant water, right? It's all green, it got that nasty film over the top of it, it stank, it got bugs and flies. It's it's just it's nasty, right? And if you choose to not stretch yourself in any way, to not get uncomfortable, then that nasty, stagnant water is you. Is you. And I know you know what I mean by stagnant people, right? You know them. Maybe it's that person you went to high school with that never grew up in any way, and you see them and they st you see them and they still talk and act like how they did back in the day when y'all was in school, in high school. Or maybe it's that ex who ain't never changed their ways. Maybe it's that family member who always so damn negative, and they've been negative as hell for as long as you can remember when you think back, right? Nothing about them has really changed. Things need to be stretched. Your muscles need to be stretched, your mindset, your thoughts, your career, your dreams need to be stretched. Your actions, all of it. You need to be stretched in order to grow. Don't let that comfort numb you from feeling alive. Because that's what it really does, right? If you just go through life, not being challenged, not pushing yourself in any way, doing the same old, same old routine that's predictable and comfortable. When do you feel alive? When do you feel alive? Because what happens is you start to dull or dim the highs you feel, because they won't be anything special. Right? You done had this same reward from being comfortable for years and years and years. That ain't a spark, that ain't a fire. Don't do as so many people do, including myself, when you
Start Small And Fail Forward
SPEAKER_01feel like you need to wait on the right timing. Right? You say, okay, maybe I'll I I'll wait until when the kids get a little older, or maybe when I have more free time, or maybe when I have more money, maybe when I'm in a better head space, maybe when I learn more. And then what happens is you look up 15, 20, 25 years later, and you realize that you have this life, these life circumstances that you didn't even consciously choose. You didn't choose it on purpose. You just stay comfortable and it all just fell into place, and now you have these things about you that you don't even like. Now your reality is something you wish was different. You just fell into that life, and that should be scary to you. It's scary to me. That is the cost of not taking action, the cost of comfort. And so, what do we do? How do we prevent this? Well, you need to start off slow at first. Don't try and jump in 100 miles per hour, because all that's gonna do is be too much to maintain, and your brain is gonna reject it. And it might feel good at first. It always feels good in the beginning when you first start something, but after a while, you won't be able to sustain it. And you're gonna fall right back to where you currently are right now. Like for me, excuse me, uh, with this hip-hop play I'm writing. Like I said before, when I first tried it, I failed. I did. I straight up failed. Uh, my homeboy has his own company, uh, urban development and real estate company, and he focuses on developing and bettering urban areas, and he had this, he has his program that he started where he would give back to the community and he would give out a yearly showcase to local artists. And it was a $10,000 showcase, and I think it it was the second year of doing it, and he chose me. And I had this idea of a hip-hop play, and that's what I wanted my showcase to be. A hip-hop play. Mind you, I ain't never wrote a play before, not a full-length play. I've written scenes and monologues, never a full play. And not only was I trying to do it, trying to do that for the first time, I was trying to produce it, I was trying to direct it, I was trying to book the venue and the flyers and the programs to get all that made. I was trying to have this full-ass production. And and do all this in under a year. All the things that I never done before in my life, trying to do all this in a year. And I sat down to try and figure out how to do all this, and surprise, surprise, I just couldn't do it. I failed. It never happened. I had so much I was trying to do that I ended up falling into a comfort zone of waiting for the inspiration to hit me to start writing. I fell into a comfort zone of overthinking and not actually taking the right action, and I was just stuck. I stayed in my comfort zone of not reaching out for help, right? And I failed.
Make Discomfort A Daily Habit
SPEAKER_01But fast forward, when I tell you that that that failure was so good for me, oh my God, it was so good for me. Because I ended up trying again. I ended up winning a grant from the Minnesota State Arts Board. And guess how much that grant amount was? $10,000. And I was smarter about it this time, right? This time, the purpose of the grant was to just write the play. Nothing else. Just to write it, to develop it, to write it, to work with other people, to get insight and feedback from, to have people read my work. And I also wrote in the grant that I understand that writing something like this takes time, and I don't know when it will be done, but I will be making progress. So I didn't give myself some deadline and some pressure, right? When I ain't even I've never done it before. My point is, I failed because I didn't just ease into it. I tried to take it all on at once. Don't be like me. Okay. And also, man, when I tell you, I can't wait to start sharing some of this stuff with y'all, some of this art with y'all. Not only was I trying to do too much back then, but I also was thinking way too much in a tunnel vision. Like, yes, I was writing a hip-hop play, but it was specific to just a showcase of me. Right? What I'm writing now is way bigger. It can be done anywhere, and it's something that people will be moved by, something that can stand on its own at any theater, and something that is truly transcending. I truly believe that. Anyway, I digress. Um, but don't try and do it all at once and eventually fall back into right where you used to be. That ain't sustainable. But what you do need to do is to just start. Just start and start small. And the second thing you have to do is make getting uncomfortable a habit, a practice. You have to make yourself be uncomfortable as much as you can. Get your brain and your body used to being uncomfortable. Get good at it. Teach your brain that whatever that thing that has you uncomfortable, it ain't gonna kill you. You won't die if you post something on IG. You won't die if you go live. You won't die if you just start that business. You won't die if you make a speech at a public event. One thing I did recently, and it's very small. I'm gonna say that right now, it's very small, but I was proud of myself in a moment, is uh I don't do karaoke. It's outside my comfort zone. I know, shut up, I'm an actor. How could I be scared of karaoke? Like I said, shut up. But the last time I was around, I was around karaoke, I did it. I stepped outside my comfort zone. Granted, I was drinking, I wasn't drunk, but I was I had a little bit in me. And but I was just about to sit there and not do it. And I made the choice that you know what? This is your comfort zone. I'm gonna step outside my comfort zone right now. And I did it. Again, small, but an example of doing it. Right? I didn't die, right? You won't die if you apply for that job that you might feel underqualified for. Expand yourself. You won't die by trying something you might not be good at. You won't die by deciding to set a boundary with somebody. Get out of your comfort zone as much as you can. One little challenge that I stumbled on was the discount challenge, and I've done it before on this podcast, but I'm going to challenge y'all again.
The Discount Challenge
SPEAKER_01Uh basically, what it is, and I want you to try this at least once. The next time you go to a grocery store or a retail store or the coffee shop, look at the cashier and ask them if you can get a discount. Just ask them for a discount. Is it gonna kill you? Nope. Does that make you feel uncomfortable just thinking about it? If it does, then you should do it. What's the worst that can happen? They say no. Okay. You alive and you did it. And you stepped outside your comfort zone. You did something that made you uncomfortable. Now you one step closer. Right? Teach yourself that stepping outside your comfort zone is safe. If you don't ever risk anything in your life, you risk everything in your life. It's too risky to not take risks. Don't look up and realize that you became that nasty ass, stagnant green, stank water. Don't miss out on the amazing opportunities that life might have for you. So ask yourself, what is my comfort zone costing me? Really ask yourself that. Especially in the moments when you let your comfort keep you from taking action. Right? So that's what I got for you today. Please uh share this episode if you liked it with your s on your social media or with family and friends. Make sure you tag me in it. Uh also become a supporter of the show. You can choose the amount. It can be three, five, eight, or ten dollars. Again, that's like buying your boy a cup of coffee. Again, I need it. I do love coffee.
Share, Support, And Ride Out
SPEAKER_01But let's go ahead and get to this music. The song I got for y'all today is Gettin' to it. Let's ride out.
SPEAKER_00Oh, J I g you real from.
SPEAKER_01You see, lately I feel like I'm on a whole nother level where ain't nobody else at for me. I'm lonely. Okay, I'm getting too late. Yeah, yeah. And it's my year, and I'm gon' make that clear. Yeah, you pop this deep by doing it, uh. Wait, it's not. You wanna get like me, come and sit by me. I'ma show you how to do it. Like I'm flippin' like a fluid. I need me, I come with it. Yeah, these batteries include it. Let's get it. Got a long way to go. Okay. But I can't see. Can ever go backwards, we'll cause I need now. I feel like the cactus get too close, no, you don't see. That's a freak. I gotta call y'all back, my grandback callin', I'm gonna speak. We don't got time for no nonsense. We've been working, we've been focused. Time to get this to fun shit. Talking the steps, make it the ball rollin' like we chillin' that blood with. I wish you had this same feeling. I'm elevated, I'm touching the ceiling. I know what I'm on. I'm calling it I'ma placing my arm, I'm about to go get it, don't over eat. Nah. And they say time is money. That's what I ain't got no free time. Shit make me queasy, that's what I throw up the piece. Nah, and every single picture I be ripping that take three time. Tell me what you know about take me. Tell me what you know about being the man, but you gotta face like a baby. Tell me what you know about having a plan, but you been grabbing a day. And I gon' stop for looking my watch. Who it is, I've been getting too good. My career is right where it needs to be. I wanna take a shot for every single person that believes in me. They hold you, I was sick, but you ain't missin' like the CDC. And I kept my emotions bottled up like what DD's beef. I wish you good, baby. Yeah, I wish you good, just like me. But you don't get it, I'm feeling so misunderstood. Feelin' so sticky, bitch. I'm a man of my word. I said it, I gotta do it, I'm sticking good. If you write me a check, then I'ma just good, look. I just thought about being 17. Hey, stickin' it in the basement, filling with chat, man, smoking with Steve. I ain't getting drunk with COVID. They burn had the method change. Hey, they hood had them on the bags, full of. We went back then, look. I feel like ball business, it was a thing of beauty. I was the beast when I pick up a pen. Just throw mo to pick up some hens, just throw stock to pick up my knees. Cause we finna get litty again. Part it over, yeah, we did it. Start me over at the beginning. I know what I want. I'm callin' it's place in my arm. I'm about to go get it, no Uber Eat. Nah. And they say time is money. That's what I ain't got no free time. Shit, make me queasy. That's when I throw up the piece. Nah, and every single picture I be rippin' that take three time. Tell me what you know about take three. Tell me what you know about being the man, but you got a face like a baby. Tell me what you know about having a plan. And you've been grinding daily. And I ain't gonna stop. I look at my watch. Time for shot. Who it is.
SPEAKER_00I've been getting good.