Understanding Your Stress

Stress can make you feel like you’re failing at life when you’re really just running an overloaded system.  It can also affect your health, so it is important to develop skills and habits to manage it. The truth: your perception can decide whether a situation feels stressful, even when the circumstances are the same. Understanding the different types of stress will allow you to take the right steps forward. Let's talk about it! 

Transcript

Motivation Track Opening

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Losing myself and finding my strength came to the conclusion that I want it all. Feeling that pressure of tryna do better. I wanna reach heights, but too scared to fall. Too scared of failure. Way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying, that's terrifying. I understand that chasing my goals, I bury my clocks because it takes time. I gotta go. I already know if I wanna grow, you greet what you sow. That be the case. Planting my seeds and water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes. The people that act like you're crazy, but trying this, they far away. They don't think it's possible, I think it's possible. That is just hate. Yet they hate themselves, cause they on the shelf. While you create a life that you love.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

A life that you love. Loving the fact you improving yourself. Decided that you would not settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it. The road got bumping, you'll put on the pedal. You go up a level, you turn up whenever. It's time for you to go put in that work. I know my worth, huh? I know it ain't gonna be easy, yeah. I know it hurt, but thing is for sure. Yeah. Until it put me in this earth. Before I ride in that hearse, I'm chasing my goals.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

I'm chasing my goals.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Loving the fact you're improving yourself. Decided that you in a settle. Decided that you got the drive to do it to go. Got more foot on the cutter. I'm chasing my goals.

Welcome And How To Support

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Alright, and welcome back to another episode. If you are on YouTube, go ahead and like and subscribe to my channel. If you are on a podcast platform, please be sure to leave me a review. Also, please support your boy by helping me keep this um this podcast going. You can buy me a cup of coffee. I left a link in the description to make it easy to be able to support me that way. Uh that helps me keep this thing going, uh, and it's much appreciated. But let's go ahead and jump into this. Today

What Stress Is And When It’s Chronic

SPEAKER_01 1:59

we're gonna be talking about stress, all about stress, how stress works in your life, what it is, how to handle your stress, and how to manage it, and also the different types of stress. A lot of times we don't realize it, or maybe we don't even know about it, but I know I didn't. But there are different types of stress, and we're gonna dive in and talk about all three. And we hear words like anxiety and depression and stress, right? And sometimes we can kind of lump those words together or pair them together. People can throw those words around sometimes, and we're gonna dive into it, but first let's talk about the actual definition of stress, and this is from the American uh psychological association, and it says, and I'm reading, stress is a physiological or psychological response to internal or external stresses, it involves changes affecting nearly every system of the body, influencing how people feel and behave. So, stress is a physiological and psychological response to things and situations that upset our personal balance in some way, our personal balance. When you get out of balance, stress happens. And the reason why we have stress is because it's um it's actually natural to the human body. But of course, when it starts to get out of control or we experience it for too long, for too long, for long periods of time, then it becomes chronic. And uh believe it or not, there's also a good type of stress, a positive stress, and we're gonna talk about the different types, and I'll talk about exactly how a stress can be a good thing and how it's needed. But first, let me say, let me say this. If you are waking up and you feel stressed from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed, then that's chronic stress. And if you're experiencing that, then you really should go see a doctor. Please go see a doctor. This episode will not help you with that. But if you feel like you have a lot of stress, not chronic stress, if you feel like you stress a lot, we first gotta understand that it comes from yourself. It comes from our own selves, from our mindsets, from the way we look at our lives and our circumstances, whatever that may be. And if you feel like you are too stressed, I hate to tell you this, but there has to be some ownership in that. You gotta say, okay, this thing got out of this thing got out of control. I'm the one who let it get out of control, and I need to be the one to get it back in control. Because when

Fight Flight Freeze And Adrenaline

SPEAKER_01 4:30

we face with something, some challenge or some threat, our bodies prepare to respond. And that could be physical, mental, or emotional. Our bodies and our brains tell us, hey, it's time to do something about this thing. Again, stress is the brain. Stress is in the brain, and stress is also in the body. And of course, stress can be triggered by external circumstances, right? If you're laying in bed in the middle of the night and you hear somebody breaking your house, your brain is gonna send stress signals to your brain, and you either gonna fight, flight, or freeze. Whatever your brain does, it does this for the need to survive. There's gonna be some kind of response. Then your heart rate increases, your muscles tighten, your blood pressure rises so you're so blood can get to different parts of your body faster, your senses get sharper, there's an increase in strength and in stamina. Your brain also processes a whole lot quicker. Things slow down in a sense. Uh and all of this is preparing you for what your response to this stressful situation is gonna be. This is what adrenaline is. Your brain produces this in these kinds of situations. And I'll never forget the first time I felt adrenaline, I was like 10 years old or somewhere around that age, and we had this dopamine pentra when I was growing up, where we had it for a few years. And where I'm from, if you got a nice dog, people would steal it. And it was a nice dog, it actually got stolen from us twice, and it was a young dog, like one year old, and we had just got it, only had it for like three weeks, and somebody stole it. And I remember walking home from the wrong bus stop. I got off early to be with my friends, so I was a little further away from home. And in the South, especially in black households, the majority of folks I know who had dogs, especially a big dog like a Dobin Pincher, people kept their dogs outside. They don't come in the house. And I'm walking home, and I just so happened to see my dog, and I called her name, and she looked right up at me, and I knew that's our dog. That's our dog. And I ran home fast as I could, and I felt that adrenaline. I never ran that fast in my life. I felt like I was almost flying. I never felt my legs move that fast. The second time I felt um adrenaline, I was literally in a fight. I got in a fight and I was scared, and I was like 13, and I couldn't back down. Very much the toxic male, toxic teenage boy energy. My friends was watching. The boy I was about to fight, he called me out or he did something to me. I can't even remember for real what it was. Uh, but I do remember that adrenaline. And when I tell you, I don't know, or I didn't know, that I can throw punches that fast. I probably hit them like 10 times in two and a half seconds. Literally. And I can't even explain like that feeling. It was like I was moving faster than I ever did. Just like when I was running, it was just effortless. And even my brother, I didn't realize he was watching, I got in the house and he was like, damn, Darius, how many times you hit him? Again, adrenaline. Anyway, and I know though, uh the example I gave of somebody breaking into your house in the middle of the night, that is an extremely stressful situation, right? If you ask most people what they're stressed about these days, most of them ain't gonna say, I'm stressed because I got people breaking in my house in the middle of the night. That ain't an everyday stress.

How Perception Creates Daily Stress

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Most of our daily stresses come from our minds. Not necessarily the things around us, but inside of us. The way we perceive a situation can determine whether or not it's stressful. Let me say that again. The way we perceive a situation can determine whether or not it's stressful. For example, one of my best friends, he don't like dogs, especially if it's a big dog. He don't mess with them. He's scared of them. Me, I like dogs. I don't have a dog, but I will consider myself a dog person. So if the two of us walk by a big dog, even if this dog is clearly friendly and wagging his tail, it's gonna be two different levels of stress for us. Two different levels of stress based off our perception, based off our past experiences, based off what dogs mean to us. Right? Another example, uh, I experienced this uh at one of my day gigs. I have a job at the Science Museum of Minnesota, and they have a theater program, and we do short shows, demonstration type shows, usually about science uh for the museum patrons, the visitors to other museums. And we do this one show about physics and sports. Well, if you know me, well, if you know the theater industry, let me start there first. If you know the theater industry, the majority of us didn't really grow up playing sports, but I did. I love sports. And there's a few elements of this show that require you to have uh some hand-eye coordination, maybe catch a ball, maybe hit a ball, throw a ball, and just kind of talk about sports a little bit. And for some people who have no background in sports, they have a different stress level around that show. It will give them anxiety, they will feel like they look silly talking about sports and doing these demonstrations with a bat and a ball and throwing and catching. Stressful for them, I had zero stress. But the other side of it, some people have been dreading or they have dreaded doing it. Exact same situation, right? For me, I like the show, it's fun. For other folks, it's stressful. Another example, um, one where I'm the one with the stress, is karaoke. If you know me, I don't be doing karaoke. I ain't comfortable doing it. I've done it, but the few times I did, I had to literally force myself to step outside my comfort zone. But other folks, especially other theater people, they don't have a problem with it. They love it. So, all three non-serious examples, but all three demonstrations of how stress can work, how it can look differently to different people, and how it can be caused in our own brains. And stress can manifest in different ways through excitement, it can manifest through anxiety, depression, feeling overwhelmed, agitation. But stress is a mechanism that is necessary for the human body. We need it to survive. But the kind in our minds, that's the ones we can start to work towards freeing ourselves from, right? Which is the purpose of this episode. So here we go.

Eustress The Helpful Kind

SPEAKER_01 11:06

So the first one is called U stress, and that's spelled E U stress. E-U-S-T-R-E-S-S. U stress. The prefix U means good. This is the good kind of stress. It can actually be exciting, and it's usually short-term, right? For example, like riding a roller coaster. I love roller coasters. Whenever I go to a theme park that I've never been before, I want to ride everyone of them, especially the fastest ones, the biggest ones. That's an exciting stress. You feel that feeling, right? That stress as you're going up that first big drop on your way up, that roller coaster, right? That is a stress. Another example, first day butterflies and feeling nervous about it. When your crush makes you nervous or or um the kind of excitement you get to tell somebody some really good news, that's your stress. Like for me, as long as I've been doing theater, I still get a little nervous before every show. Every time, especially on opening nights. Even after we done had a whole four-week rehearsal process and rehearsing six days a week, I still get nervous. But again, it's a good kind of stress. It's because I care. I take it serious, right? It keeps me on my toes. So, the good stress. And this stress, what this stress does is it enhances your motivation, your focus, your energy. It can turn on parts of your brain that make you more creative. You want more use stress in your life. How do we create more good stress? How? Well, one easy way is to step outside your comfort zone, doing new things. And I've been trying to do that as much as I can lately. You feel so much better after you do it. Do something challenging, push yourself, setting goals that ain't too easy for you. Now I ain't saying set goals that are unachievable, but set goals that'll stretch you, but still be something that is actually achievable. Something that's gonna get you outside of what's been comfortable for you. And when you achieve it, it's gonna feel good. You're gonna feel good about yourself. Again, new stress can be very beneficial for us. So that's the good. Let's get to the next one.

Hypostress When Life Feels Flat

SPEAKER_01 13:14

The next one we're gonna talk about, the next one we're gonna talk about is hypo stress. And this is the stress of under stimulation, too little stimulation. And I was kind of surprised to learn about this one because when you think about stress, you think about being too stimulated, right? Or having some kind of unwanted stimulation. But this one involves lack of stimulation, situations of not having enough challenges in your life, not enough activities in your life, laying on the couch, watching too much Netflix, right? And this can lead to feeling restless, being really bored, lack of excitement in your life. Is you doing the same thing every day. You wake up, you shower, you eat, you get dressed, you take the same route to work, you do the same things you've been doing for years, you go home, you watch the same TV shows, you go to bed. And that every single day can cause hypostress. You have lack of excitement and stimulation in life. As humans, we want to be comfortable and not pushed, but we need to be challenged. We need to grow. We can't do the same thing all the time. Don't suffer from lack of engagement. No, you need stimulus. You either green and growing or you're brown and dying. Let me say it again. You either green and growing or you brown and dying. And unfortunately, hyper stress uh can be hard to recognize, right? Especially if you have never heard of it, like me, because it's subtle. It's from lack, right? This nagging sense of just being dissatisfied with life or restlessness or monotonousness, having long periods of time of inactivity, right? Them days when you watch Netflix so long that Netflix gotta check in on you to see if you're still alive, that causes hypostress. And hypostress causes decrease in motivation, decrease in creativity, uneasiness, lack of drive, lack of excitement, a general sense of unhappiness. And on the flip side, it can lead to unhealthy ways of finding excitement, right? Like drugs or adrenaline sinking, adrenaline seeking, going out there and doing crazy stuff just to make yourself feel alive. So do something new, do something challenging, step outside your comfort zone, create a bucket list or plan a trip, get your body moving, work out. I'm gonna say that one again, work out, try new hobbies, challenge yourself. Okay, moving on.

Hyperstress Overwhelm And How To Manage

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So the next one, which is the one we think of the most, is hyper stress, hyper stress, too much stress, an overstimulation of stressful feelings, stress always being there all the time, and that can be from day-to-day life or the things in your mind, right? Those moments when you feel that feeling of overwhelm. And a lot of times it can be from things in the future. When you ask somebody why they are stressed, is it usually ain't because they stressed in this very moment. It's because they look at all the things they need to do in the future, all the things they got on their plate, and it can be overwhelming. And the way it manifests itself physically is exhaustion, headaches, muscle tension. The way it manifests psychologically, it can lead to anxiety, to being irritable, it can lead to depression. Right? This is the most common type of stress. You got deadlines at work, you got things going on at home at the same time causing you stress. You got this bill that you don't have no idea how you're gonna pay it. You got that project that's gonna take so much out of you. The feeling of getting pulled in a bunch of different directions and not having enough resources within yourself to be able to satisfy it all. And it's never just one thing, right? They always get stacked on top of each other, just one thing after another. And this ain't external. This is in us, right? It's us thinking about all the things we got going on, and it's too much, and a lot of times we get caught up thinking about all the things we need to do in the next few months instead of the things we need to be doing in this moment. Because guess what? Believe it or not, all the things we gotta get done over the next few months cannot get done in the next few moments. Yet we put the stress on ourselves as if that statement is true, as if we can really get it all done right now. Does it need to get done? Yes. Will it be hard? Maybe. Probably, since you're stressing about it. But can you get it all done at once? Hell to the no, no, no. It's not gonna happen all at once. So manage that stress. Write it out. Write out what's stressing you out. Put it on paper and pad, a pen and paper, so you can make a plan for it, so you can delegate and also breathe. Breath work. It literally helps calm your nervous system down. Deep breaths. Take deep breaths, then begin your plan so you can plan better. And I know that sounds cliche, but it really does work. It's not cliche, it sends a message to your brain to calm down, to slow your heart rate, right? To slow down your breathing. Deep breaths activate what's called the parasympathetic nervous system, and this directly counteracts that fight, flight, or freeze response. So breathe. And of course, exercise. It does so much for your stress and your mental health. Every one of my workout clients, they all have told me at one time how surprised at how much better they feel mentally. Working out does amazing things for your brain. And shameless plug, but I know a fitness coach that can work some magic for you. Send me an email if you are interested. Take that first step and I'll meet you there. I promise. Also, sleep. Sleep is really important and drinking water. When dealing with hyper stress, understand that it's usually in our head. So breathe, put it on paper, plan it out, and start chipping away. Understand that you can only do one thing at a time. So that's

Recap And Next Steps

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it. These are the three. You stress, which is the good kind of stress, hypostress, which comes from lack of stimulation, and hyper stress, which is the most common, which is the overwhelm. And again, don't try to do it all at once. Don't let your brain tell you that lie. So if you're feeling some type of stress, figure out which one it is, where it's coming from. And once you do, now you can be able to attack it better. So that's what I got for y'all today. Please support the show. Um, please um support me by buying your boy a cup of coffee. I have left links in the description to make it easy for you to do that. That helps me keep this thing going. Also, if you like this episode, share it on your social media. Be sure to tag me in it. But let's go ahead and get to this music. And for those of y'all who made it all the way to the end, thank you. Um, but I will give you a treat. I got some brand new music for y'all. I just recorded this song a few days ago. I'm still making some minor tweaks to the mix, but for the most part, it's pretty much done. Like I always say, I always try and do things that you, my little community, that y'all get what I'm doing first. So I want to give y'all this sneak peek, this preview of this my latest song that I'm gonna be releasing. Not sure exactly when I'm gonna be releasing it, but a music video will come along with this song. But let me just give it to y'all.

Sneak Peek Song Flowers

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The song is called Flowers. Let's ride out. Like I just put my shirt back on. Like somebody told me to put my shirt back on. I ain't try to flex, but they asked me what I've been working on. On my story, making sure that when my curtains closed, they gon' throw a rose. I invested flowers. Like I planted hot, I expect my flowers. They gon' give me picks for these invested hours. And I've been peepin' everything. Claimin' to keep it a hundred, but it's counterfeit. But who wouldn't I to judge? Cause I've been out my phone, cause I've been low, but I've been climbing up. And I was droppin' calls like I need to go hit the ride'en up. This that shit I know you can't relate. Keep your foot up on that gas, you got drive like you late. And then that road took a turn, and you know you need a break. Been a crash, dumb man. I ain't scared of nothing. It's my plate. Better get out my lane. Little Chris said it perfect. You better move, bitch. Get out my way. I don't care if you vegan, guaranteed you get deep on today. Make a split decision. I know you don't want this collision. Stick putting down my phone. It got way too addictive. Watchin' everybody be clones. We all hooked, that's why you can't leave social media alone. I dig breasts, I'm not judging, I'm taking off that road. Yeah, I take it off. I'm a big dog. Been through the rain, yeah, shake it off. Yeah, shake it off, take it off, bounce back, shake it off, like a tableclaw. When they see you cooking, they gon' throw some table saw. And if I told you I don't feel nothing, then I would be lying. I'm a cancer, I process my feelings one year at a time. But like now I'm celebrating, taking it one bit at a time. Okay, pass them out. Somebody tell bad to pass the shot. Cause I was seeing the world a whole lot different. I feel like an astronaut. When I thought I lost my drive, cause I was pumped a while. Yeah, that's a lot. You got weight on your shoulders and you standin' tall. That's a squat. That's a spot when they cramp a lot, cap a lot. But you really been doing better when you can laugh a lot. Seen hard days before played your role and overcame it every time. Yeah, that's the plot. That's the plot. Like I just put my shirt back on. Like somebody told me to put my shirt back on. I ain't try to flex, but they ask me what I've been working on. On my story, making sure that when my curtain's closed, they gon' throw a rose. I invest in flowers. Like I planned at Hawks, I expect my flowers. They gon' give me pops for these investing hours.