Mastering the Mindset
Mastering the Mindset
You're A Mental Terrorist
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Your mind can create a whole crisis from almost nothing: a paused text reply, a vague “we need to talk,” a look from your boss. We get it. That inner narrator is fast, confident, and often dead wrong. We dig into what I call “mental terrorism” the negative self-talk that turns everyday moments into anxiety, hesitation, and self-doubt, even when your real life is fine.
Opening Bars On Fear And Goals
SPEAKER_02Losing myself and finding my strength came to the conclusion that I want it all. Feeling that pressure of tryna do better. I wanna reach heights, but too scared to fall. Too scared of failure, way more scared of feeling regret. I'm not even trying, that's terrifying. I understand that chasing my goals, I bury my clocks because it takes time. I gotta go, I already know. If I wanna grow, you reap what you stole. That be the case. Planting my seeds or water my base. Yeah, I made mistakes. Yeah, I know you grow in your garden, but watch for the snakes. The people that act like you're crazy for trying this, they far away. They don't think it's possible, I think it's possible. That it's just hate. If they hate themselves, cause they on the shelf. Why you create? A life that you love.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02A life that you love. Loving the fact to improving yourself. Decided that you was not settled. Decided that you got the drive to do it. The road got bumping your foot on the pedal. You go up a level, you turn up whenever it's time for you to go put in that work. I know my work, huh? I know it ain't gonna be easy, yeah. I know it hurt, my thing is for sure. Until it put me in this earth, before I ride in that hearse, chasing my goals.
SPEAKER_00Love enough back to improving yourself. Decided that you in the settle, decided that you got the drive to do it to go. Got muffin put on the cutter. I'm chasing my goals.
Welcome And How To Support
SPEAKER_02Alright, and welcome back to another episode. Thank y'all so much for being here. If you are on a if you are on YouTube, go ahead and like and subscribe to the channel. If you are on a podcast platform, please leave your boy a review and also become a supporter of the show. I always say think of it like buying me a cup of coffee. I love coffee, I drink coffee every single day of my life. So uh support your boy. I left links in the description that you can easily just click on and follow the instructions and support the show in that way. It helps me get this thing going. But let's go ahead and dive
Mental Terrorism And Negative Self Talk
SPEAKER_02in. Uh today let's talk about our mental terrorism. And that's probably a dramatic phrase, but I think it can for real be accurate in the sense that sometimes we can be our own little mental terrorists, mentally terrorizing ourselves. And I'm talking about the negative self-talk. And most of the time we can point the finger at it and know exactly what it is, right? And even though we know this, it's a good exercise to think about it on a conscious level, to really deliberately get a grasp of it. That from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep, our brains are constantly chattering, constantly buzzing all day long. And a big part of that is our brains doing this mental chatter, right? Chatter from the stories that we tell ourselves, talking to ourselves and creating these stories about ourselves, about who we are, about how other people see us or perceive us, right? If we're good or if we're bad, if the world is good or bad, your boss, your co-worker, what they think of you, what you think of them, and it's going on all day in your head, whether you take a moment to be aware of it or not, and even if you are conscious of it, you better believe these little thoughts shape the way you feel, the way you move in life.
The Brain’s Story Machine
SPEAKER_02Thoughts create feelings in your body, right? For example, if you have a thought that something you said might have offended somebody, well, your brain is going to send signals to your body, and it might feel anxious, your heart rate is gonna change, your breathing is gonna change, then stress and anxiety hormones will kick in and send that back up to your brain. And now you created this cycle, right? Because thoughts create feelings. And let's be aware of this and take inventory from time to time because feelings dictate the actions we take. I'm gonna say it again. Feelings dictate the actions we take. Because let's be honest, when you don't feel good, it's hard to take action. It's hard to create the life you want when you feel anxious, when you feel stressed, when you feel sad, mad. And eventually, if that goes on long enough, it's gonna dictate what our reality ends up being. Being aware of what's going on in your brain, it is important. Our brains make us see the world in the way that we do, the way we think we are perceived, the way we perceive ourselves, where we fit in this thing we call life. All of that is perceived through these stories that go on in our heads. It's how our brains make sense of things. And these stories come from a bunch of different places from past experiences, from the people we hang around with, from what we see on social media, from the way we were raised, past relationships, the music we listen to, the TVs, the TV shows we watch. A lot of times all these things create what's called cognitive distortion.
Thoughts Create Feelings Create Actions
SPEAKER_02And cognitive distortion is defined as an irrational or exaggerated thought that can lead to an inaccurate perception of reality. I'm gonna read it again. An irrational or exaggerated thought that can lead to an inaccurate perception of reality. And I'm gonna dive deeper into that a little bit later, but let me give you a quick example. Let's say you send a text to somebody, and then you see those dreaded three dots pop up, and they sit there for like five seconds, and then they go away. And they pop up again and they go away. And you're like, okay, okay, did did I offend them? Are they mad? Did I say something wrong? Should I not have said that thing I said in the first place? Should I not have said it in the way I said it? Did they take it the wrong way? Or another example, if somebody says, We need to talk, my God, that we need a talk line, those four words have caused so much anxiety in the world. And not just from husband, wife, and partner, but from your boss, from a family member, from the doctor. If the doctor calls and says, Yeah, so we just got your test results in, give us a call so we can talk about them, your heart gonna drop. Again, been not done that. And I'll never forget it. I went to a clinic to get my STD test. This is a long, long time ago. And every time I go, if they ask if you want them to call you with results, and if they do, they won't give you negative results via voicemail for privacy purposes, privacy purposes, they have to verify over the phone that they are speaking to the right person, right? So basically, they say wait a week or two weeks, whatever it was, and if we don't call you, then that's good news. If we don't call you, then that's good news. And let me tell you why these fools called me, left me a voicemail saying this message is for Darius Dodge at such and such clinic. Your test results came back. Please give us a call. When I tell you, my soul left my
Cognitive Distortions In Daily Life
SPEAKER_02body, I died for like six seconds, and my brain went crazy. I had all these stories in my head. You can imagine. I'm like, oh my god, do I have AIDS? Do I have chlamydia? Will I be able to have kids? Ain't no woman gonna want me if I got herpes or something, it's all over, right? I'm gonna be single forever. So I called them just for them to tell me. So good news, everything came back negative. Here I am, I just did all that worrying for nothing. For nothing. And we do this in several areas of life, right? Something happens, and then we just leave reality behind and we make up all these stories in our head, and it happens so much, it happens every day. And unfortunately, we allow this to change our emotions. And if these emotions end up being good ones, then good. Good things. Way easier to take care or to take the action that we need to to create the life we want if those emotions are good, but if they don't feel good, it's gonna be harder to take that action. So let's talk about some techniques and let's figure out how figure out how to um identify what those negative thoughts and thought patterns are, and what are these stories that we are telling ourselves, and then to challenge the validity of them. Basically, to see how it's all lies, how we mislead ourselves, and then you take those negative thoughts and replace them with thoughts that are going to serve you better. And the goal of it all is to change your mental and emotional behavior to be able to get you to taking that action to create the life you want, and also for more happiness, to be more satisfied by your life. So let's dive
Cognitive Restructuring And “Always Never”
SPEAKER_02in. And the first thing we're gonna talk about is something that's called cognitive restructuring. Cognitive restructuring. And like I said, this involves identifying specific negative thoughts that you have and to challenge the validity of them, the accuracy. Like let's say if you say, um, I'm awkward, I'm bad with words, I'm ugly, I have horrible handwriting, I'm stupid. And what
The Voicemail That Sparked Panic
SPEAKER_02we have to do is to test that validity. Actually ask yourself questions. And when you do it, don't just do it in your head, do it out loud. Say it out loud so you can not only think it, but hear it too. For example, let's say you make a mistake on something and you say, Damn, I always mess up. I always mess up, right? So instead of saying, I always mess up, a better phrase would be, I messed up this time, but I'm learning from it, or I messed up and I'm getting better at it. Identify the negative statement, replace it with a more valid and positive one. Because think about it. If you if you are using words like always and never, right? I always mess up, I never get this right, I'm always saying stupid stuff. One, that ain't true. You don't always do anything, always is a hundred percent, never is zero percent. You can't say I always say the wrong thing at the wrong time because that literally ain't true. You have conversations every day, all day. You ain't just speaking a completely different language or saying some random gibberish or cussing somebody out every sentence.
Replacing Stories With Better Ones
SPEAKER_02You have way more conversations where you say the right thing, probably 99% of the time. But by putting this absoluteness on it, it makes your brain feel like you're messing up way more than you actually are, and this holds you back from seeing the truth. Because the irony is always and never, they almost never happen. Always and never, for the most part, they read they rarely ever happen. So test that validity, test the validity of those statements. Do you always break things? Do you always make the wrong decision? Do you never get it right? No, not always, not never. So, and the next thing you should do is to test the beliefs that you tell yourself.
Test Your Beliefs With Real Evidence
SPEAKER_02Test the beliefs that you tell yourself that you believe about yourself. So, for example, if you think that if you speak up about something, that the conversation is gonna go south and it's gonna be a bad experience, and you'll be so uncomfortable and you'll regret this conversation and die inside, and that person is gonna hate you, right? Test that. Say, you know what? This is what I feel, this is what I feel like is gonna happen. Let me test it. Find that courage and do it. Speak up about that thing and just see. And what happened is you're gonna prove that story wrong. You're gonna start to poke holes in this story that you have in your head.
Music Fears And Proving Yourself Wrong
SPEAKER_02And a story that I used to tell myself was about my music. And before I got my studio, hell, even after I got it, probably still to this day, really, I have to poke holes in this story. But before I got my home studio equipment, the first time I ever recorded myself was on the laptop that I borrowed from my homeboy Jude. Shout out to Jamil Jude, and I didn't have any equipment. All I had was a built-in microphone on the laptop, and the whole time I was telling myself, like, man, like this just don't sound professional. So people gonna hear it and they won't really listen to it because they're gonna hear it for the first five seconds and then be uninterested because it just don't sound professional. Because let's be honest, now we've done all done heard some BS before, right? Somebody who thinks they can rap, maybe it's a friend, maybe it's a family member, maybe it's somebody you just randomly see online, and they put their music out there, and not only is the quality horrible, but they don't even have talent, and you end up not needing to hear it, right? You hear the vocal quality, the production, and it's trash, and you just want to turn it off. And that was my irrational fear. But I decided to put it out anyway to test that validity, and lo and behold, it was good. Professional sounding, no, but everybody who heard it, they loved it. Fast forward to now. A lot of the music, or a lot of the music, or at least lately, what I've put out, um it I wasn't mixing it and mastering it myself. I was sending it off to engineers, and I was letting them mix and master it for me, and they or not me. So the way they did it, or the way they do it, it ain't how I do it. And so I was equating different with incorrect. And so I would send this feedback to them, to the engineer and the and the person who mixed on it and mastered it, and I I bet they was looking at me crazy, like, what the hell is this dude talking about? I don't hear all these things, he won't change. It sounds just fine on my end. And even though it might not be the way I would have did it, I shared it anyway. I shared it on here with y'all first, like always. Then I released it, right? It was the last mixtape I did that I put out, and I didn't mix any of that music myself. And let me first say, I think it's all good. I do. All the music and what the engineers are doing and what they have done is good. But like I said, I was used to the sound that I produced, right? And to me, it was just different, but still, I shared it with y'all, I shared it with everybody else, and what happened? A lot of y'all told me that y'all are loving the music. A lot of folks were really rocking with the mixtape. Nobody was like, Yeah, the music is cool, but you know, the sound just ain't the same, or the sound just don't sound good. No, nobody said that. I had to poke holes and test the validity of the story I was telling myself, and lo and behold, that story was BS. The music is fine, people love it, people love it.
Rewrite The Narrative With Practice
SPEAKER_02And then, like I mentioned before, the next thing, the most important thing, is to change up that narrative, reword that story that you tell yourself, change that phrase, replace it. So instead of saying people won't like the sound quality of my music, I should have said the sound is different than what I normally produce. It's different because I'm not the producer, somebody else is the producer. Or let's say instead of somebody saying I never get the timing right, what they should say is I didn't get the timing right this time, but I'm working on improving it. Or I'm challenging myself to get my timing down. Another example, instead of saying I'm always messing stuff up, say, I messed up this time, but next time I'm gonna make an effort to get this thing right. Take those negative thoughts and change them, transform them into a narrative that's gonna serve you better, that's gonna empower you, that's going to allow you to have more of those thoughts that are gonna actually support you in becoming the person, the person that you actually want to become. And to do this, you need to first become aware of it, and that's aware of it outside of the moment and in the moment. So, in the moment is right when it happens. Outside the moment is you keeping track, you take an inventory of these negative thoughts. Notice which ones are the most recurring ones, right? So, again, first is awareness, become aware of it. Second, the second thing is to evaluate it, take that step back. Are these things based in facts, or am I distorting the truth? Is my brain making me feel this way? And you will find out that nine times out of ten is not a fact. And the third thing is to challenge those narratives, and you challenge them with evidence, right? Do I always say the wrong thing? Well, no, I don't always say the wrong thing. Today I did, once out of the hundred moments I had today, right? So, okay, that's not true. And the fourth thing you do is, the fourth thing you do is you restructure those thoughts. You rewrite them. And what you do is you focus on what you are doing well, on how you want it to be. So instead of saying I'm awkward when meeting new people, what you say is, I'm working on improving my social skills when talking to folks I meet for the first time. I'm improving my social skills, I'm getting better at this, I'm taking the initiative of making this thing better. And the last part is practice. You have to have some repetition in this thing. You have to get those reps in, you have to step outside your comfort zone. You just do. Otherwise, how would you ever change? It won't change, it just won't. And the reason you do this is you have to change the narrative by showing yourself that what you thought was gonna happen didn't happen. And if it didn't happen, then it's false. If what you thought was going to happen did not happen, if it didn't happen, it's false. And if it's false, get rid of it. This is something that we have to be very intentional with. The stories you tell yourself are shaping your life. It affects how you feel, how you interact with people, the actions you take and don't take, and how you see yourself. And once you start to change those thought patterns, you will be way more successful at changing your life.
Mindset Change Takes Reps
SPEAKER_02But it starts within, with your mindset. And like I always say, this is a journey, it ain't gonna happen right away. And I hope you never leave one of my episodes with that belief that this is something that you are going to change right away. No, this is something you have to practice, something you have to do over and over again. But keep on, keeping on. Like I always say, I am on this journey with you. I am doing these things that I preach to y'all myself, and I am seeing growth, I'm seeing change in my life. So let's get it, let's keep going, let's put in this work. So that's what I got for y'all
Closing Thanks And Support Links
SPEAKER_02today. Thank y'all for being here. Uh, please support the show. Um, like I said at the beginning, I put links in the description to support me. You can become a monthly subscriber, you can choose the monthly amount, it can be three, five, eight, or ten dollars. You can cancel at any time. Why would you ever do that? You can also become a one-time uh make you can make a one time donation. I put all those links in the description. It's very easy to click on. It takes a couple of seconds. I appreciate it. But um, let's go ahead and get to this music.
Throwback Track Outro
SPEAKER_02It's gonna be a throwback. This one is called I Ain't Proud of That. Let's ride out.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, we all make mistakes from time to time. But I ain't proud of that. But life goes on. I ain't proud of that. Life goes on. On my resume should be heartbreakin'. No, I ain't proud of it, but honestly, I'm tired of partying, man. I might have to call y'all later. I put my haters on call waiting. Cause I'm tryna eat, you think it's sweet. No wonder why niggas throwin' salt like a soft shaker. Cause her heart breaking, my heart racing. Like nigga, that's what you tried to do. Looking in the mirror, but like nigga, really. Would your mama be proud of you? Damn, I'ma kinda hurt right now. Pussy on my mind right now. Make up on my shirt right now. Same old nigga. But since day one, you always kept it real with me. If I need the vent, you will still listen. It's been years and you still miss me. Every year till you happy birthday on your Facebook. And I feel different. Like real till it's a fake ones. You a real one, shot the real women. Uh I said I'm scared of commitment. You was like telling who isn't. Like who in the hell is you getting? All you do is show love. I guess I was scared of the feelin'. Uh I got history with a few women who missin' me. And it's messing with them mentally. Like it's they fought when it was really me. Cause I didn't deserve you. Yeah. I ain't proud of that. But life goes on. Yeah. I ain't proud of that. But life goes on. I guess we just friends now. Cause that's better, right? These days for all to speak. I've been grindin' all week. And when I got time, I tell my niggas it's shot time. Cause I done finally got free. Tell them shots on me. So call back, nigga. I feel like a dog ass nigga. Damn, sometimes I feel like a dog ass nigga. Cause she was say plus. I was tryna go and get brain. Tryna get these hoes a D. I fell like a dumb ass nigga. Yeah, I failed that class. Hell no, I did not pass. She wanna be the one, but I could not add. Never been good at math. Like goddamn, I dadder subtract that. When I'm on backtrack, I'll be embarrassed if it's in my Snapchat. Hopefully that won't leak, that's hazmat. Hopefully, hopefully she will get over me. Hopefully the next man she meets will express emotions openly, physically and vocally. Cause I got history with a few women who missin' me. And it's messing with them mentally, like it's they foulin' it was really me, cause I didn't deserve you. Yeah. I ain't proud of that. But life goes on. Yeah. I ain't proud of that. But life goes on.
unknownMmm. Mmm.
SPEAKER_02You know I could sit here and wish I could turn back the hands of time. But honestly, honestly, I believe that everything happens for these. Yeah, and that's real. Ah, for life goes on.